:: Arianna :: True Calling

[Arianna Robins]

"The thing about Katniss as a character - and the question I want you all to answer for yourselves - is this: what about her is defined by the men in her life, and what isn't?"

Arianna leaned back on her desk at the front of the room, surveying her freshman English class carefully, and noting that for the most part, she had their rapt attention. Good, she thought. As per her usual routine, the desks were shoved off to the side and the chairs were arranged in a broad semi-circle that she would be rejoining in a moment - she'd just stepped off to illustrate her point a little on the board.

"And that's the big question because it's in the answering of that question that you start to see how she breaks out of those barriers. And I don't just mean Gale and Peeta, no matter how attractive they are," she said, waggling her finger at a couple of boys off to the side, who laughed. "No, think. Think! What other men are there in those books that have influence over Katniss's life? Shout them out!"

"Snow!" came one voice.

She snapped her fingers. "Excellent example. Whether she likes it or not, Katniss is bound to her role as the Mockingjay, ultimately, because of President Snow. What does she do with that? Does she accept it? Does she rebel? How does she respond to that control? Who else?"

"Cesar!" said another.

She nodded, returning to her seat in the circle. "You're right. Even the talk show host plays a pivotal role for her. So then, in your journals this week, I want you to pick one male character - any male character - that is important to Katniss in the books, and I want you to tell me what she does. Does she blithely accept that, or does she challenge it? Is she defined by it, or is she independent from it? Until we ask those questions, we can't really dive into how feminism plays into the books, and I know we all want to go there, so let's get started. Run with it. See you on Tuesday."

As if on cue, the bell rang, and the students got up and got going. Arianna said her goodbyes and watched them leave, enjoying being back in the driver's seat. She hadn't been back long, but this particular group was very good. Her replacement had gone through the entire Hunger Games trilogy with them, so she figured she'd jump on the bandwagon and give it a little push.

She stretched and stood. It was the end of the day - a long one, actually - and she was looking forward to a quiet evening with a hot cup of coffee and something by Tom Stoppard.

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OOC Notes:

[Alexandra Lawson]

Ms. Robins had always been one of Alex's favorite teachers. She couldn't explain exactly what it was, although it was more than likely their shared passion for the written word that acted as the catalyst. She was one of the few teachers that seemed like she truly cared about her pupils and this was why, even after Alex had moved on to college, she chose to seek out Ms. Robins for advice.

Cautiously Alex poked her head into the classroom as the last of the students had filtered out. She was endlessly pleased that her favorite teacher was back and couldn't help an energetic smile as she stepped into the room. "Ms. Robins?" She asked, beaming at the sight of the teacher. "I was hoping to catch you before you left." The small girl drew closer, looking very much like she wanted to tackle the older woman in a spastic hug. "Heard you were back and had to come see you."

[Arianna Robins]

Arianna couldn't help a broad smile when she saw who was at her door. "Alexandra! What a wonderful surprise!" She opened her arms wide for a hug and then brought herself back, leaning against her desk.

Alexandra had been such a joy to teach. Their time had been brief, yes, but memorable - outspoken, passionate, enthusiastic, all the things that an English student should be. She hadn't seen her since the end of the previous school year - she'd still been a high school student then - but now the woman standing before her was... well, grown up. It was strange, but oddly comforting.

Still the same old Alexandra, though. Arianna waggled a finger at her. "Time after time, missy, I tell you to stop calling me Ms. Robins, because you were always the only one who ever did. It's Arianna. And you're not one of my students anymore, so you have no excuse." She leaned back, crossing her arms and enjoying the easy smile these things brought to her face. "So. What have you been up to since I've been gone? What are you doing now? I want to hear it all!"

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OOC Notes:

[Alexandra Lawson]

Alex had always been taught referring to someone by their last name wasn't so much a formality as it was a gesture of respect. She found it difficult, even in the case of her much beloved former teacher, to refer to those in a position of any authority by their first name. It just felt strange and alien for the name to pass through her lips. Still, she couldn't help but smile warmly up to the English teacher. "Okay, Arianna." Her voice wavered over the name just slightly as she tried it out. It fit, but it would probably take a while to get used to.

"Not much." She replied, almost embarrassed by this fact. Alex doubted Arianna wanted to hear about cheerleading or track, the latter of which she was at a noticable disadvantage in given her short stature. "Just... here." She waved a hand idly about, gesturing to the room around them. "It's, I don't know." Alex didn't really offer a frown as she contemplated the changes that college had represented, but her expression did sober considerably. "It's weird, I guess. That I'm already over half way through my freshman year of college."

[Arianna Robins]

There! Finally! She'd have to write about that one in her journal. Fully a year later, and Alexandra Lawson had finally sucked up the nerve to call her Arianna. About damn time, she thought.

Arianna knew it was unusual, going by her first name, but she did it for a few reasons. First, comfort. She hated the formality of going by her last name. It was a stuck up and archaic tradition that totally didn't need to exist. But second, and probably more importantly, it was to teach the kids that respect - even for an adult, a person in a position of authority - was something to be earned, not automatically given. She didn't need to be put up on a pedestal right from the get-go. They needed to know that she was as human as the rest of them, as prone to fallibility, and 'playing the game' meant that they weren't actually thinking.

Call me Arianna, she always said, when really saying so much more.

She listened as Alexandra answered her question, and grinned. "You think that's weird, try being me and watching you happen. College." She shook her head. "I still remember that first class you were in." She snorted with laughter. "Don't you? Basically shouting out your disagreement right during the first lesson and throwing me under the bus? I swear, after that first day I thought we'd end up either killing each other or making each other famous. Infamous! And I think my favourite part was that you were totally, totally right."

She laughed again. "And come to think of it, I don't even remember what that lesson was about."

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OOC Notes:

[Alexandra Lawson]

Alex couldn't hide the hint of sheepishness that crept into her smile as Arianna brought back memories of the scared, tiny, 15 year old girl that had first stepped onto the Bellefonte campus. It wasn't as if she'd changed much in the three years since. She was still diminutive, having grown barely a couple inches in that time and, perhaps she lost a little baby fat along the way but Alex would probably always be forced to cope with people thinking she was far younger than she really was.

"Oh. Of course I do. You were talking about Hemingway." A faint bit of crimson flushed her cheeks as she recalled the lesson in question. She did, indeed, remember it as if it had happened just a few days ago. Alex wasn't one to rock the boat, especially when in class but Arianna had always been able to bring out the intellectually stubborn part of her brain. She'd blurted out a contradictory statement in the middle of the lesson almost on accident. She hadn't meant to interrupt her teacher and certainly didn't expect the reaction she got. Most teachers would have shut down any disagreement with a sharp response, Arianna, however, gave Alex the opportunity to state her case. It made the student respect the teacher all the more. "I thought you were going to be so mad." She confessed with a short laugh. "I didn't think you'd make me get up in front of the class to elaborate."

[Arianna Robins]

Arianna chuckled a little at the memory. "Well, that's kind of the point of my job, isn't it? To break your expectations a little."

She hopped down from her desk and pulled up a couple of chairs from the circle for herself and her guest, sitting on hers and lounging back. It was a decent day outside, and there was still sunlight streaming serenely in through the windows of the classroom. As pleasant as this visit was, there was something about it that made Arianna wonder if it was just a visit, or if there was something else to it.

So, she asked, as she gestured kindly for Alexandra to sit down. "So, my dear. You return to me well into your first year of college for a visit, which I am delighted by, but I can't help but wonder if it's just a visit or if you wanted to talk about something. Anything on your mind?"

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OOC Notes:

[Alexandra Lawson]

To be honest, Alex didn't really know what teacher's thought about their own roles within society. Some just seemed to float through their classes, checking boxes and going about their lessons with a drab, sterile outlook. There were so few like Arianna that actually attempted to breathe life into the things she tried to teach. Which was the exact reason why Alex was here, now sitting across from her as the two of them spoke as much more as friends than as teacher and pupil.

A sheepish smile appeared when Arianna called Alex out. Yes, she had wanted very much to reconnect with one of the teachers who had truly gone out of their way to make a timid, homesick girl leaving her home for the first time feel at home. Alex would have gladly made the pilgrimage to the classroom for that alone, but Arianna wasn't wrong. "Well, I would've visited anyway." She began, not wanting to think her only reason for being her was to ask advice. "I did, though..." There was very much something on Alex's mind and she couldn't hide it.

She fell silent for a moment, her brows knitting together in thought as she tried to figure out the best way to get out what she was wanted to say. In truth, she knew what she wanted and how to get it but there was that tiny voice in the back of her mind telling her she wasn't good enough, or smart enough. It gnawed away at her resolve and, when left with no other alternative, Alex tended to turn to those who's opinions she held dear. "I was selected as a finalist for an... internship, I guess you could say, with an online magazine." There shouldn't have been any hesitation in Alex's voice. She was a journalism major, after all. She should have been ecstatic just for the chance to write in a professional capacity, even if she wasn't getting paid. "It's not much, but I'm... worried." She shrugged a little and exhaled slowly in a resigned sigh. "I guess I just think too much about things, you know?" She continued, beginning to ramble a bit. "Like, I get it into my head that with everything going on, and where I'm at and all I'd have so little to say that anyone would want to hear. Then there's the self-doubt." At least she was aware of her apprehension and fear. "I've read some of the other submissions and they're so good. I don't know how they thought I was top twenty." She lamented.

[Arianna Robins]

"I was selected as a finalist for an... internship, I guess you could say, with an online magazine."

Arianna's face lit right up. "Are you serious? Alexandra, that's wonderful! I'm so proud of you! You'll be their top pick for sure!"

And she meant it. It was no surprise to Arianna that Alex had gone into journalism. She was a natural - one of those rare few whose skills with spoken words and written words were on par, particularly on the fly. She was at her best when she was charged about something, and if the reactionary, volatile nature of popular media wasn't enough to push your buttons, nothing was.

Alexandra continued and Arianna listened patiently, marvelling at how the most talented people were also the ones filled the the most self-doubt. Arianna knew that one well enough. Not that she would ever say it out loud (well, okay, depending on the company), but she knew that she, in her own right, was damn good at what she did. And yet, how many timse had she left a classroom wondering whether she was in the right career? It was so much more fulfilling than the other work she'd piled up her life with (the bookstore in Buckeye coming in at a close second... sigh) and yet... it's so easy when you're working a typically thankless job to be insecure.

Moments like these made every damn insecurity worth it, of course.

So as Alex finished, she put on her classic warm smile, and reached out to put a hand on her shoulder. "My Alexandra. Let me tell you something about good journalism. The greatest journalists are not the most talented, nor the most skilled, nor the most eloquent. They're not the ones who can accidentally vomit perfection onto a page. No. Those are great writers, yes, and they produce great art, but the greatest journalists are the ones that have passion. Look at Hunter S. Thompson, Maureen Dowd, Barbara Walters, the list goes on, honey. They all had skill, and ambition, and diligence, but anyone can have that. The common thread is the passion - these are people that chase after the things that give their words power. I've seen you really get going about something important to you - oh, like when one student in your class made a crack about going back to the kitchen - and I can tell you right now, if your heart is in it, nothing can stop you."

She lounged back in her chair again. "It's interesting how we're only ever the most critical when it comes to our own work, though, isn't it? It's like there's a devilish little bastard voice in all our heads telling us we're not as good as everyone thinks we are."

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OOC Notes:

[Alexandra Lawson]

Arianna's words were so poignant they almost caused Alex to visibly flinch. Her eyes turned downward, no in shame or embarrassment but in deep thought as she contemplated her former teacher's advice. Slowly everything she had said fell into place and Alex nodded slowly. That had always been Alex's biggest problem when it came to her writing. Even when throwing together a boring essay for school she had to go the extra mile, put as much into it as she could. At least when she gave herself time to do so. Alex was an expert procrastinator when it came to schoolwork.

"I'm still not totally convinced." She replied as she let an almost playful tone creep into her voice in order to try and mask the sheepishness she was feeling. The teacher's compliments were taken in the highest regard and almost brought out a light flushing of Alex's cheeks. She'd always valued Arianna's opinion and when she began gushing about her Alex almost didn't know how to respond. Arianna was right, there was no denying that. She was so right, Alex had nothing to say. She only nodded as she lifted her gaze. Sometimes she felt like just a stupid girl who had to go to everyone else for advice on the simplest things and Arianna made her feel special. Like she could get selected to write for some crappy blog on the internet that no one would ever read.

"Ugh, I know." Alex groaned and nodded. "I always think I can do better than what I've put down. That's why I always had typos in my essays." She explained. "I could only go over it so much before I started getting the urge to blow it up and start over."

[Arianna Robins]

"Speaking of that," Arianna said, "how is the, uh... combustion? Any fun little tricks up your sleeve since last time?"

Not having superpowers herself, Arianna sometimes felt a little out of place being in this league of extraordinary gentle-people. Heck, sometimes she wondered what a regular old average Josephine like her could do to actually help the kids she was working with, when she knew so little about what they were going through. It was a level on which she just couldn't understand, not being one of them. She tried her best, though.

And really, given her brothers and her father, she'd had a lot more exposure than most non-mutated folk. Really, it was a wonder she'd managed not to have any herself.

Letting that pass, though, she did wonder about Alexandra and her fire manipulation. More out of curiosity than concern, but she couldn't help imagining that with everything else going on, the things she could do could be just one more factor on the pile.

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OOC Notes:

[Alexandra Lawson]

A low, reluctant groan escaped the back of Alex's throat as she could feel herself shrinking down into herself. Progress had been made when it came to not just supressing but controlling her potent mutant power but she still found herself far behind her peers. The deep rooted pathological fear of fire prevented her from developing her abilities as normal. Her training sessions were usually two parts therapy and one part training. It was a slow process, to say the least.

"It's... going?" She said in almost a question while offering a shrug of her slender shoulders. "I'm doing better." Came the quick addition to her opening statement. She wanted to have a handle of everything. Wanted to overcome the paralyzing fear that prevented her from mastering her strange abilities. "I've got it pretty much under control. Although I do still have... hiccups." She winced at the thought of her most recent one. At least it had turned out well enough in the end. "I can sneeze without burning someone's eyebrows off now." Baby steps. It was all about the baby steps. "And I've been able to control it for about ten seconds as long as it's not too close." Her left hand went idly to cover her right, a thumb running over the mass of scar tissue there.

[Arianna Robins]

Arianna felt so badly for her former student, she really did. She had a power that could be beautiful and magical when it was properly controlled, but Alexandre seemed so afraid of it. She always had. And that made it volatile and dangerous, as much a curse as the mutation her brothers shared.

But she was happy to hear that things were improving, even if only a little. A power like that... She was no professional, nor trainer, but she imagined that the volatility of one's emotional state would play a heck of a lot into that kind of power. Get angry enough and you could just about burn down a building, she wouldn't have been surprised.

So listening to her now filled her both with optimism and fear, the same way this conversation often did. Like the first time, when she'd discovered an assignment handed in that had scorch marks on it.

"I'm happy to hear things are getting better," she said honestly, with a smile. "You know... the two are related. Your powers and the question you came to ask me, I mean."

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OOC Notes:

[Alexandra Lawson]

Alex sometimes took on the look of a deer staring down a pair of rapidly approaching headlights. She didn't handle pressure well, especially when it came to her mutation and the subsequent anxiety and fear it caused. She also didn't like to be analyzed and told how she felt, what things she felt meant, or what things she felt would end up meaning. Arianna, however, Alex always felt just got her better than almost anyone she'd ever met making her assessment of the young pyrokinetic all the more poignant and revealing.

Nervously, Alex's thumb slid over the mass of scar tissue that marred the back of her right hand. She had a sneaking suspicion what Arianna was talking about and she didn't like the direction of the conversation one bit. It wasn't so much that she didn't feel comfortable discussing anything with her former teacher and current mentor (at least that's how she would forever look at Arianna), but Alex feared, above all else, that Arianna was going to be right. She didn't really know if she could handle any more stress of anxiety. "What do you mean?" She asked quietly, the distress that she already knew the answer already starting to creep in.

[Arianna Robins]

Oh, goodness. That was palpable. Poor girl.

Alex's reaction to her words was visceral. It was visible, just about oozing off of her, which to Arianna made it all the more important for this conversation to take place, as much as she didn't want to overstep. The risk was worth it, of course, and it was sometimes her job to put the uncomfortable truths out there, but... that didn't necessarily make it any easier.

She leaned on her knees and kept her tone as calm and gentle and kind as she could. "What I mean, honey, is that the fear you're carrying around of your powers and your fears about this internship... they come from the same place, you know. They come from a place, deep within you, that simply can't accept yourself for the wonderful qualities you possess."

Arianna sat back, thinking about which direction to go. She eventually settled. "Let's take your internship, for example - and what a wonderful opportunity for you, honestly. But let's take that as a start. By all means, anyone would be nervous and a tad worried and excited and everything else - but you... you're afraid. You're afraid you'll fail, you're afraid you're not good enough, you're afraid they won't like your work, despite the evidence you've already gotten that they do like you. And your work.

"And then we look at your powers." She leaned forward again, clasping her hands. "You have the potential to create wonderful, beautiful things with your talents. Fire... we so often look at it as something that destroys, something that presents a danger, but I like to look at all the things it gives us. Warmth. Life. Sustenance. Beauty. Fire represents rebirth, renewal. It's giving. It's..." She searched for the word. "...Strengthening. But that fear. You're afraid of the fire for the same reason you're afraid of your own future - because you worry that you'll lose control. Or, more to the point, that you aren't strong enough to stay in control."

She held up a finger. "And none of that, my darling, is your fault. There's no fault. Nothing like that. But I truly believe you have the capacity to do wonderful, amazing things - if only you can help yourself let go of that fear, and embrace that little bit of chaos. Relax the control, and find a way to just..." She spread her hands. "Let things happen."

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OOC Notes: