Something's Definitely Different

[Riley Forrester]

Zoe's legs seriously gave out and Riley bore basically the full weight of Zoe in her arms as she leaned against Riley and buried her head in Riley's chest. Zoe started speaking, the words bursting out of her. Riley would be Zoe's first. Her first. The impact of that hit Riley like a sledgehammer. It only furthered Riley's belief that she wanted Zoe to be ready for all this, but as the girl continued, she revealed that she had planned it all out. Had gotten tested and the syringe and dressed sexy and even had dating underwear. And she wanted Riley too. Wanted her just as much. It lit fire in Zoe's stomach, but she forced the flame to die down more as Zoe continued speaking.

Now Zoe was sobbing, shaking against Riley. She was blaming herself, saying she had messed up and pushed Riley. And then saying she still wanted to go in the door and have Riley have her way with her but she couldn't and she soon dissolved into tears, making the punky girl's heart absolutely shatter. "Oh no no no no Zoe...." Riley murmured, pressing a kiss to her girlfriend's head.

"Zoe, don't blame yourself for this. Please. You didn't push me Zoe. This isn't your fault. You didn't mess up." She insisted, nuzzling against Zoe and holding her so dearly to herself, wrapping her up in as protective and warm an embrace as she could. "Tonight was so amazing, and it only strengthened how much I want to be with you. How much I want us to be Us." She said, smiling a little as she gently rocking back and forth just a little, smoothing out Zoe's hair.

"Because I'm ready for this, Zoe. You didn't push me. But I think you were pushing yourself and I didn't want you to do that. I don't want you thinking that this is all I want from you or something. You're all I want from you. You're enough. And I know you want this, and I do want it too, but I want you to be comfortable with it. You're so amazing Zoe. You're so, so so amazing and I'm so... So ecstatic to be able to say you did all this just for me. That you tried so hard for me." Riley said, pulling back to smile at Zoe for a moment before hugging her tightly again. "You're just so amazing and wonderful and beautiful and I'm just...." Riley couldn't think of any more words to say.

So she didn't speak.

She sang.

"If I could
Begin to be
Half of what you think of me,
I could do about anything
I could even learn how to love.

When I see
The way you act
Wondering when I'm coming back
I could about anything.
I could even
Learn how to love
Like you."

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Another kiss, on her head, more feelings injected straight into her, as if somehow that direct contact would just shove it into Zoe's mind. Then a begging, it wasn't about her, not her fault, and the arms pulling her close, wrapping her in that tight warmth. It made Zoe cry harder, more and more tears flowing and burning hot down her face. She wanted them to be an us. Zoe really loved this woman, just, everything.

And she figured it out, even before Zoe could really figure it out on her own. She'd pushed and---and it had been so much and Riley was just going and going and going and Zoe couldn't believe it all and what it all meant and she could practically hear the words underlying it: she loved Zoe. She might not be at the point where she'd say it, but Zoe could tell. She'd pulled that out of Riley just as she pulled it out of so many people around her. Some people jokingly stated that everyone had a "secret" mutant power, and if that were true, then Zoe's would most definitely be that: the ability to pull love and show it back.

And the singing. Zoe just heard, listened to Riley's voice as it slid over her. She had to smile, particularly at the mention of teaching love. She sniffed, realizing that she was still crying, but that it felt different somehow. Zoe turned her wet face up and pulled at Riley's clothing, insisting on another kiss, even though she knew that her tears had to mix in there.

[Riley Forrester]

Zoe cried even harder at Riley's words, but the punky girl only held her more securely, insistent on holding her as near and dear to her heart as Zoe already was in Riley's head. She loved Zoe. Yes. She loved her so much. It was so evident in just everything. In how much she loved spending time with the other girl, how she adored Zoe's personality and all her little quirks, how she just felt so complete and happy just holding the other girl's hand. Even if it was only for a little while. That little while was enough to make Riley's heart swell fit to burst.

She was in love.

Yet... She couldn't say it yet. It just felt too soon. She wanted it to be just right. Like Zoe had wanted tonight to be just right. Which was why Riley sang instead, the lyrics flowing out of her so easily. She could see Zoe smile, see her brighten a bit from the song. Suddenly her tears didn't seem to be from sadness. And as Zoe looked up, pulling at Riley's clothes, Riley didn't hesitate in the slightest about pressing her lips against Zoe's deeply, conveying the love she couldn't say yet but most certainly felt for the other girl as the lyrics to the song finished in her head.

Could've done about anything
But I think I learned how to love
Like you.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe kept clinging for a while longer. She heard the song, knew that it was for her, what it meant. She could almost see the words traveling, moving along to dot against her skin, as if they could seep in and affect her on a very visceral level. And she'd looked up, and they'd kissed, and Zoe almost swore she could feel something happening there for a moment.

Zoe took another breath, shivering. She could still feel Riley so close to her, just, there.

"Riley?" she asked, looking up. "I... I really would like... do you think that you could... um," just say it, Zoe, Riley wouldn't care. "Could we maybe... could we maybe still strip down, maybe not... not everything but I really... I really would like to... to feel you? While I still can? And maybe we could just," she looked at the bedroom door. "We could just... sleep? Together? But not," she looked to Riley again, "not... not in a sexual way... just... together..."

Did that sound as pathetic as it felt? Because it must, surely.

[Riley Forrester]

Zoe kept clinging to her even after their kiss had ended, and it was just so warm that Riley couldn't help but sigh with contentness before glancing at Zoe as she spoke. "Hmm?" Riley asked before Zoe went on, stammering with her words. As she did, Riley simply held her, gently rubbing Zoe's back to try and get her to calm down and just say what she wanted. Finally it came out: Zoe wanted to share a bed and feel the punky girl against her without the sex. Although it made Riley blush, she smiled and nodded, kissing the top of Zoe's head again. "Anything you want, Zoe." Riley replied with a warm smile.

She turned to the door and was about to open it, but paused. Breathing in deeply, she reached and took Zoe's hand and placed it on the doorknob. Then, placing her own hand over Zoe's, she had them opening the door together before stepping in. The familiar setting had Riley smiling as they stepped in, and Riley planted a light and brief kiss on her lips, full of affection and caring. "Tell me what to do." She said lightly, smiling at her girlfriend.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Riley blushed, but she nodded, nodded and kissed, nodded and kissed and spoke and Zoe believed every word. She took another deep breath, closing her eyes, trying to steel herself for this. This, she wanted, this she felt ready for. When she opened her eyes, her door didn't look scary or intimidating. If anything it seemed... inviting, as if calling them in.

Riley stepped closer, put her hand on the door. Somehow Zoe found hers joining. They looked to one another. They nodded. They entered. Zoe could feel her room almost responding, as if welcoming them. She could feel it as Riley stepped inside, as if entering her somehow. She felt it even as Riley bent down to kiss.

"Well, for now, um, just, hold still," Zoe said. Her hands, still trembling, but more confident, began tugging at Riley's clothing. She slid the jacket off first, moving to gently place it on a chair. Then it was a matter of working buttons. "This is why dresses are better," Zoe mumbled, giving Riley a near pouty look as she kept going at buttons, the trembling fingers making her slide every once in a while. Zoe could feel some panic but, well, she knew where this was going, what was going to happen, and she wanted it, felt ready for it. She just had to get this shirt done. And the pants. And shoes, too, probably.

[Riley Forrester]

Zoe didn't seem nearly as panicked now on approaching the door, and it made Riley happy that the girl was seeming so much more confident and calm again. And she even seemed confident as she told Riley what she wanted right now. For Riley to hold still. "Ok." Riley said with a warm, caring smile full of trust and patience. Zoe's hands were trembling, and Riley would've loved nothing more than to take them in her own hands and kiss them just to try and calm them down too. But she stayed still like Zoe wanted, letting the girl do as she wanted.

Then Zoe began to undress her, which Riley would be lying if she said it didn't excite her a little. But she didn't do anything as Zoe went on. Although she did chuckle a little at Zoe's little comments on dresses being better as she struggled with the buttons. At the pouty face, Riley had to bite her bottom lip to keep from kissing the girl-- still holding onto staying still. Slowly her clothes fell away one piece at a time until Riley was only standing in her black bra and underwear.

It was a little odd to suddenly be almost-naked into front of someone else, but in front of Zoe Riley felt.... fine. Not as bothered by it as her decently toned body was revealed. Sure, she wasn't the fittest girl out there, but she still looked good. She was slim with a flat stomach that had just a hint of defined abs. And near the right side of her hip was a tiny tattoo of a music note-- something she and her sister had gotten for fun.

Riley gazed at Zoe, her eyes having never left her girlfriend the entire time she had been disrobed. Now she smiled anew, and took Zoe's hands in her own once the girl had gotten to see. "Your turn then. Ready?" She asked, wanting consent from Zoe first.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

The clothing fell away, baring the girl beneath. Zoe drank the sight in, her eyes tracing along the other girl. Her hands took some time in following. First they raised tentatively, hovering just near the other woman, just shy of actually touching her, just shy of that direct contact for a moment. Then Zoe let her hands run along, realizing, remembering that she could touch. Her hand traced the little tattoo of the note, taking a deep breath as she drank this wonderful, sexy woman in.

"Right," Zoe said. she took another breath, nodded, and rolled her head. This pulled her hair back and, trembling, she turned her back on Riley. "I'm not," she looked over her shoulder, "I don't... my body's not as good as yours. I'm... really thin," she shifted again, "but you know that, and I know you're going to say you love it anyway but, just, just do it."

Zoe took another breath, closing her eyes, tilting her head down. She couldn't stop from trembling and she almost wished that this could be done in a hurry, like ripping off a band-aid. Then again, she didn't have nearly as much on as Riley, just the dress and the... the date underwear, that quite literally Victoria's Secret, specially purchased, lacy, pushup underwear that was probably Zoe's favorite piece of clothing...

[Riley Forrester]

Eyes roamed over her body, taking in everything they could possibly see. Then Zoe's hands came forward, hesitating for a bit before reaching out and touching. Riley's breath hitched a little at the warm feeling of Zoe's hands, on her own bare skin, and she actually shivered a little as Zoe traced over the little note on her hip. Then it was Riley's turn. Riley's turn to take in Zoe's body as Zoe had taken in hers.

Zoe turned. Insisted she wouldn't look as good. Knowing that Riley would say it wouldn't matter and that she'd love it anyways. Riley had to smile at that, and lean forward to place a loving kiss on the side of Zoe's neck. "You're right. I'll love it anyways." She confirmed before inhaling deeply and carefully undressing Zoe. There was a part of her that wanted to go slow, to memorize every inch of revealed skin. But another part of her knew Zoe would want this to be fast. For her to be undressed as fast as she could be. So Riley ended up going at a moderately fast pace before Zoe was just as bare as she was.

Drinking in the sight, Riley slowly brought her hand forward and traced the fingers along Zoe's back instinctively. She was just... in awe of her girlfriend. How smooth the skin was. She could see the faded signs of the freckles on Zoe's shoulders. And now she could touch them, kiss them too. So Riley did, leaning forward to press a kiss to both of Zoe's shoulder blades before finally gently turning Zoe to face her and drink in the front on the girl.

Riley's eyes roamed her girlfriend's figure freely, blushing a little as she did and reaching out to touch Zoe's abdomen as well-- exploring the smooth skin with a growing smile before both hands went up and cupped Zoe's face. She drew the other girl in for a long, tender kiss before pulling back and smiling at her, intertwining their hands and fingers.

"You're so beautiful, Zoe."

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

the kiss on her neck, then the dress. She felt it give. Felt it loosen. Felt it fall. Her too thin body would be on display now. Zoe could practically feel the bones of her hips jutting out. They hadn't always been like that, but two weeks of malnutrition and near denial had left their mark, and she was only now fighting it back. She just knew she had to look like on of those awful victims of starvation you saw on television, mostly because she technically was one. That didn't even take into account the white scar along her right side, right where a bullet had blazed a path through her body not so long ago. She just knew that her body was this ungainly, unappealing thing and she was at least thankful that she had pretty underwear to distract from everything on display.

A hand went to her stomach, and she felt herself trembling. She couldn't ever recall being touched like that, and it did things to her that she definitely didn't want to think about too deeply. She smiled as hands cupped her face, kissing, entwining. She could feel Riley's warm body pressing against hers, skin on skin, and all those little worries and concerns started to fade away.

So beautiful.

Zoe looked up and kissed again, before pulling back, smiling. "Thank you," she said, knowing it sounded awful, weak, but she didn't want to say anything else, and she meant every syllable. She squeezed Riley's hand and looked to the bed. "So, ah, can you---would you hold me? There? Is that--okay?" Zoe looked back up at Riley, as if waiting for permission to be held.

[Riley Forrester]

She didn't see the malnutrition. Or the scar. Well, she did actually see them. But they did nothing to make Zoe unappealing. Nothing could make Zoe unappealing. Because all that Riley saw, with warts and all, was her girlfriend. Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe. And to Riley, no one could be as beautiful.

Zoe looked up after their first kiss, and Riley eagerly returned the second one that Zoe was pressing to her lips. She thanked Riley before squeezing Riley's hand and looking at the bed. A few words were stammered out: Zoe wanted Riley to hold her. That was the basis of what Riley got. So, with a smile and a quick kiss, Riley nodded and led Zoe over to the bed, climbing in and pulling Zoe along with her. Once both were underneath all the blankets and covers, Riley wrapped her arms around Zoe and pulled her close, reveling in the feeling of skin on skin as they got tangled up with each other and their embrace. Once that was done, Riley simply snuggled up against Zoe and smiled happily.

God, this feels so... right.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Another smile, another quick kiss. Zoe's head spun and she was starting to lose her grip on reality. This all felt too much like some sort of dream to possibly be real. Just... everything. Riley, the situation, the touching, the bed, everything just didn't feel quite real to Zoe. Yet she could feel it all, feel as Riley got her into the bed. Felt as the covers wrapped about her, closing her in tight, holding her close. Zoe curled up at the sensation, feeling the snuggling, feeling the other woman.

God, this just felt so... right.

And real and wonderful and Zoe could feel everything just sort of fading away. All the grief, all the worry, all the everything she'd ever worried about just sort of faded into nothing, seeping into a warm set of arms that held her close. This, this was what she'd wanted, and to have it felt as if everything had finally aligned, and Zoe couldn't think of anything she'd want more.