{MIW} There You Are

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe had to smile as Devyn questioned whether or not she was even capable of actually doing what she suggested. They both knew that it was a question that didn't even really have to be asked. So instead Zoe just focused on what she needed to ask, to try and figure out what was really going on with Devyn and what had put her friend into this strange funk that seemed to be dominating her mood lately.

The question did seem to hit at a little something. Clearly Devyn had some sort of issue with this, as she put it, "Bellefonte bitch." "She does seem rather... blunt," Zoe admitted. She definitely hadn't been a huge fan of Elsa during their brief exchange. At the same time, Elsa had been there for support, and well, Zoe did feel like she needed to defend the other girl slightly. "Maybe there's something else there? She could've just been having a stressful day or something..."

Zoe trailed off, not sure if there was really anything she could say that would change Devyn's opinions on the matter. She paused again, trying to think of what else to say, to ask, to do something to try and alleviate the heavy mood, to disperse that dark cloud she could see hovering over her friend's head.

"I'm rather glad of how that whole thing turned out though, honest," Zoe said, nodding again. She chewed her cheek. "Um, is everything alright with Vera?" She tried. "I really do like her; I know that makes you uncomfortable, but she's just... splendid."

[Devyn Solway]

There was just a smile as a answered to the question if Zoe was truly capable of doing such a thing. It did go unspoken but they both knew what Zoe was capable when it came to using her power on someone else. Either way, Dev was not worried about it even if Zoe did end up doing it because she never feared Zoe's power and always liked it as she had made clear to the other girl several times. Minus not liking that it made her unable to take Zoe's innocence without the aid of medicine that she didn't ever even get to test out after those test, but more things in the past.

She had let go of that already and while she could never let go of her feelings for Zoe, she was working on at least trying to let go her problem of not wanting to deal with Zoe being with someone else. Who knew if that would ever change, but she told Zoe that she would work on it among a few other things, so she was at least going to try. Zoe was then defending Elsa; of course Zoe would, and was tryign to point out that there probably was a reason why the other girl had behaved such a way. "It was because she wants to fuck Vera. You could tell just by the way she said things and how she looked at her." Devyn said as she crossed her arms.

"I don't miss those kinds of vibes and she was just pissed that I had someone she desired." Devyn added, because she really didn't miss those kinds of vibes. Did she have any facts to support this? Not too many, mostly just from what she knew of Elsa and Vera's relationship from what she heard around the school and from Vera herself. That and well Vera was hot so why else would someone be snippy with Dev and make things awkward if that was not the reason? Devyn grumbled slightly at Zoe being glad at how things turned out.

"Well...I'm happy that you are happy but...well you know." Devyn said, shrugging her shoulders a little. Was everything alright with Vera? Dev looked at Zoe then, listening a Zoe did point out that she really did like her and how Dev didn’t like that. "It's not that I don't like it...I just understand like why...I mean Vera is great but like...never mind." Devyn said, not wanting to get into why she just found it odd Zoe was cool with her girlfriend. Yet again it was because how Devyn just didn't understand how Zoe didn't view the other how she did. "Things with Vera are good, better than good and it's fucking scary." Devyn answered, since that had been the question asked.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Well, that was... blunt. Zoe certainly didn't know how to respond or react: she simply found herself staring at Devyn. The bluntness wasn't all that surprising: Devyn had never been one to sugarcoat anything. It was just hearing it said like that, laid out. Zoe really didn't know what to say. She knew a fair amount about Vera from living with her and just, everything. But she knew next to nothing about Elsa and, well, it didn't seem to be her place. Plus, as Devyn continued, Zoe couldn't help but wonder if it really mattered whether it was true or not. Devyn saw it as true, and that was what mattered in the end.

This just seemed to serve to make Devyn increasingly grumpy. Zoe sighed, wishing that she had some sort of magic wand that she could wave to make everything better. But things were far too complicated for that. Devyn just looked and Zoe could see the confusion there. Zoe had gone circles around that friendship, and she really didn't know what else to say. So yet again she found herself speechless, simply looking at Devyn and hoping for answers that simply were not in coming.

The last, however, finally drew some words from her. "It always is," Zoe said, taking a deep breath. "You keep worrying that you're going to mess everything up. That you'll say or do something that will make it all crumble. Or even that something else will come in the way. It's as if the whole world aligns against you and you're doing everything you can to somehow hold onto the relationship without anyone suffocating..." Zoe trailed off, looking away from Devyn for a while. After all, Zoe's relationships hadn't exactly been the most stable either, and, well, there were times when she was utterly terrified, particularly as she and Riley grew closer and closer.

[Devyn Solway]

Of course Devyn was blunt about such things; she never really had a problem talking about sex and the like so long as it was not like what she was going to do to someone. She did like to have it established what was okay and know if she needed to baby step it or just dive right in but did get a bit odd when having to break it down. Talking about someone else wanting to sleep with her girlfriend was not a hard thing to do, but it was something that did upset her. She tried to not get too bothered by it because she was the one that had Vera and no one else.

That had to be enough for her and it was the only reasons why she was not about ready to punch something from talking about this. Yet another deep breath, trying to refocus on just talking and not letting her emotions get the best of her. It was hard when she could not just change the subject, play flirt through it, or just become dejected from it all. Zoe would not be happy with any of those options so Devyn had to deal with her actual feelings when she didn't even want to. She ended up giving Zoe the answered that Zoe wanted and Zoe was soon responding back as to why it was and saying more about it as if Devyn didn't already know about it all.

Her head turned to look off in another direction as she took another breath to keep herself level through all of this talk that she didn't really want to have either. "Yup, but with my track record and curse it does not help make it any easier." Devyn responded as she reached a hand up to her necklace and started to play with her father's ring. She lost so many people, they had left her, and some had even died. It sucked and she honestly wondered why she had not become emotionally closed off yet. "Any other questions?" Devyn asked, wanting a change of subject.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe could hear the breath, knew that there had been another accord of sorts struck there. She took a deep breath, releasing it slowly, hoping that it helped a little. she really did understand and, well: "My track record's not much better," she pointed out, smiling a little. "And at least you didn't send me to the hospital," instead of the other way around. Devyn had long since forgiven Zoe for that particular sin, but it still plagued the shy girl, made her wonder if she shouldn't have had more control.

She looked back, seeing Devyn playing with that ring around her neck. Zoe thought it belonged to her father, but her memory was a little fuzzy about all that. She ended up looking back up as Devyn asked another question, catching the desire to change the subject. Zoe looked away, considering. What questions did she need to ask? What did Devyn need to hear or say? There had to be something there, yet nothing was providing an easy answer for Zoe.

"Have things been.. better?" Zoe asked. "I mean, ah, that was really stupid. I mean, um, like, power wise, maybe? How has that been coming?" There, that was something, right? And it was away from relationships yet might still help? Somehow?

[Devyn Solway]

Zoe's track record was bad? Devyn was tempted to point out that Zoe was the one that broke up with her but that was all she could have said on that. She didn't know why Zoe and Alice split and honestly she didn't care to know. Dev had not cared to know anything about them being together and just knew it had been slightly easier to be around Zoe when she was single. Not that it lasted all that long but yet again Devyn was silently scolding herself for even being better. She really needed to stop thinking of everyone just viewing things the way she did and getting that people didn't fall in love like her and that she could not hate Zoe for loving and doing things different.

Well, she could hate her but she should not and it was not like Dev could fully hate the other girl. At Zoe bringing up the hospital things Devyn could not help but to feel pain return as she ended up holding onto her father's ring, gripping it tightly as she took another deep breath. "That was an accident and I could have just as easily sent you to the hospital. Besides, I did worse to you by not being there for you when you got shot. For leaving you behind to kill those who had dared to hurt you and..." Devyn stopped herself as she saw her own shadows starting to move around a little and she could feel the beast inside her slowly rage at the memory.

There was just so much pain, so many things that had happened that Devyn didn't get how things could just be normal between the two of them. Devyn had almost died for Zoe more than once and yet they were not together. Devyn wanted the other girl to be her mate and yet Zoe broke up with her. Death, pain, sorrow, loneliness, feelings of betray, miscommunication, and general hurt were all mixed up in it all and they had made it through it all until something that should have been trivial compared to the things they went through broke them up. It just didn’t make any sense to Devyn and thus made it all the more difficult for her to see how the two of them could be friends or if they should even bother trying.

Had things been better? In terms of her power? "I guess so. Been working on altering my form in different ways. How goes it for you?" Devyn asked, her voice already leaning back on the emotionally dejected again as she did it to help calm herself down again and get out of those dark thoughts. Zoe wanted Devyn in her life. Devyn wanted Zoe in her life. The only way to do that was to be friends and that meant she was just going to have to keep shoving down those dark feelings and confusion in order to get what she and Zoe both wanted. All those things they went through had to mean that they were meant to be involved in one another lives, even if it had not been the way it started. Right?

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe shook her head as Devyn protested. "I don't blame you for any of that," she insisted. "You've always been emotional, and it's only natural that you would lash out at those who had targeted your.. your friends, your pack," perhaps your mate too, though Zoe wasn't sure if she should apply that label to herself. she could once again feel Devyn's tension, and she again found herself riding that emotional wave, taking a few breaths and feeling almost as if she'd been given empathy instead of her own paralyzing power.

Would things be normal? No. Why did they need to be?

"Well, it's not as if my power's really one you can, um, train," Zoe said, letting out a slight laugh. "But I've gotten quite a bit more comfortable using it. I recently helped Mr. Spencer and another health officer deal with a young man having a seizure, and, well, I think I'm getting better at just using it in small doses. There's always the drugs that Dr. Campbell prepared for me too," Zoe smiled and shrugged slightly. Those had just been so wonderful and she just couldn't believe how brilliant Dr. Campbell had been about everything.

"So, ah, so you're feeling better about, about being here?" Zoe tried again. She felt silly, asking such general questions about everything, silly and as if she were talking in circles. But she had this feeling like she hadn't quite gotten Devyn to unload everything. And, well, Zoe wanted to help with that, if she could, somehow.

[Devyn Solway]

"And I don't blame you for going to the hospital. That was on me too." Devyn pointed out. If Zoe was not going to blame her for things that Devyn still felt sure were her fault, then Zoe could not blame herself for things that Zoe thought where her fault. Devyn was fine taking all the blame, she felt like it was all of her fault. The curse, who she was, her power, and why things ended up the way that they did. It came with being the person she was; being Devyn Solway, the Prince of Shadows. Not that she was going to really get into that with Zoe; she was trying to keep herself in control and to just calm down.

This had to make things a bit difficult because Devyn was so easy to read when she was not able to use her usual methods to cover up how she was feeling. It sucked, but she was doing her best to deal with it for the sake of not wanting to make Zoe too uncomfortable. However; by now she wondered if her tactics would have been welcomed over Zoe having to deal with the blunt of Devyn's emotions. She listened as Zoe pointed out that her power was still something that she would not turn off; which Dev had hoped that Zoe would have been able to figure out a way how to or at least isolate it. Oh well, it seemed like Zoe was at least getting better at using her power and still had that medicine stuff.

"I'm actually really happy to hear that. Was always so worried that I would never be able to get you comfortable enough with your power...looks like you did need someone else to help give you a bit more of a push." Devyn said with an honest smile as she gave a small nod. All she ever wanted was for Zoe to love herself and who she was, that included her power and to hear and have already kind of figured that Zoe had gotten some much comfortable with who she was did feel pretty good. Even if it did not seem like Dev had been the ones to help fully bring out that change in the other girl. How was she feeling about being here?

"Uh, better. Still kind of not sure what to do with my life, but that’s what college is for, to buy me some more time." Devyn responded as she yet again did a small shrug. She then looked at Zoe, falling silent for a moment before her head tilted to the side a little. "I feel like these are not the real questions you want to ask, or am I overthinking things?" Devyn asked. She mainly asked because she was reading Zoe's body language and just got this vibe that there was something more then what Zoe was asking about.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

"Well, in that case, we should just stop blaming ourselves for what happened," Zoe said, as if it were as simple as all that. Strangely enough, just saying it actually did make Zoe feel a bit better. Devyn didn't hold it against her. There may have been several other things, some of which Zoe wasn't sure she would ever understand, but at least this, this which was most definitely her fault, this she didn't hold against her.

Zoe even found herself smiling as Devyn reacted to hearing about the power. "Well, you did help," Zoe insisted. "Every little push had me edging just a bit more," Zoe knew that she likely would've stayed locked up in her room had it not been for Devyn's pushing her, pulling her to go out, to be with people, to interact with them yet again. Devyn and so many others had gotten Zoe to this point, and she couldn't help but keep thinking of that, feeling like she should thank.

the latest toothless question had gotten another answer. Zoe had to nod along with it, glad to get that much. The silence came from a bit, and it was suddenly Devyn's turn to ask a question. "It's not that," Zoe said shaking her head. "It's, I keep feeling like there's a question I should be answering, but I just can't seem to think of what it is, so I keep flinging questions out and hoping I'll hit it by accident..." Zoe trailed off, biting her lip again. Should she ask about Riley? No, no, not about that. And Devyn hadn't wanted to talk about relationships, right? What was left? Zoe almost felt like just running away, but she knew that certainly wouldn't help.

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn nodded in agreement. If only it were that easy but at the very least if they could think that was the case, slowly start to accept it, and work on it then maybe they would feel that was true. "I'll work on it if you will too." Devyn responded. That seemed fair enough, even if it would be hard for Devyn to stop blaming herself for the bad things that happened that involved her. It was her curse after all, the Shadow Prince curse. Those thoughts yet against got pushed away as Devyn once more just tried to focus on the here and now and keep putting forth her effort to not let her emotions consume her.

She could do this, she had already done so much that went up against fears she had, and that meant that she just had to keep pushing herself. It was always nice to see Zoe smile and it was good that the conversation at least took a turn to the side of making the two of them smile for a bit. All it took was for Zoe to honestly be happy about something that just involved herself alone and Dev would likely end up happy as well. Zoe pointed out how Devyn did help and that every little push and person had helped her get to where she was now. "Well...I'm just happy all the same. I could not have left a girl with such beauty and potential closed away from the world; it would have been a crime." Devyn said, unable to help tease and flirt just a little bit there.

That would not have been right, that was tame enough and Devyn was even chuckling a little bit with it. Devyn was then trying to get to the bottom what was on Zoe's mind, with the other girl pointing out that she felt like there was something that she should have been answering but could not get to it. So that meant that Devyn was supposed to ask something that would give Zoe the chance to answer something that she wanted to answer? Dev was already confused. "Uh....well sorry I kept help you come up with an answer if I don't know what question to ask." Devyn responded as she scratched her head a little bit, trying to think.

"Umm...well if you think of it, just say it. Or if you have a question for me just say it. It might not make me uncomfortable but sometimes you have to just deal with my discomfort and push me a little..." Devyn responded, not sure what else to say. Yeah it was not wise to push her too much and one had to be ready for what would happen when they pushed, but a push was what sometime was needed.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

The compliments drew another smile from Zoe. She actually believed them now, even coming from Devyn. And it still felt good to hear someone so naturally sexy and sexual compliment you about beauty and your potential. "You can certainly take credit for that then," Zoe offered, figuring that Devyn deserved to hear it. She was responsible for it, for helping Zoe develop into who she was today. Zoe thought that she'd mentioned it to the girl before but, well, it couldn't hurt to repeat, especially given how this conversation had been.

And it just continued, lurching into yet more awkward territory as Zoe had to admit to not knowing where to take the conversation. Naturally Devyn seemed to not even know what she needed to have asked, which just frustrated Zoe all the more. If she could think of it, she should say it.

"Well, I don't want you to run away or get mad at me or anything," Zoe said, frowning a little with worry. "And I'm just... I don't know what's really bothering you and I'm sort of guessing..." she paused again. "Do you... do you feel like people care about you? Love you?" Because they did, and Zoe knew it.

[Devyn Solway]

It was good to know that Zoe was still affected by her complements, that just because they were long since not a thing that it didn’t mean that Dev could not complement her. Zoe was a beautiful girl and Dev had made that clear enough while they were dating and so no harm in saying so when they were just…friends. Dev was still all about boosting self-esteem in those who needed it still and while Zoe had come a long way it did not to still give them and keep boosting the other girl’s ego. “Thanks.” Devyn responded as she scratched the back of her neck, still smiling a little as she just thought of happier thoughts in general.

While it was awaked to not know what Devyn was supposed to be asking, and not having the slightest clue what Zoe wanted to answer it didn’t really help Dev figuring anything out. How was she supposed to just think up the right question that Zoe wanted to answer? If Zoe knew what she wanted to answer then why not just say it at random and let Devyn adjust to it as it came out? Her friend pointed out that she didn’t want Dev to get mad at her or run away. “Have to take risk sometimes, Zoe.” Devyn simply pointed out as she moved both her hands into her pockets now. Her mind still trying to think up what question she was supposed to be asking.

Zoe came up with one instead, one that didn’t help the mood at all and had Devyn removing a hand from her pocket to adjust her shades. What was really bothering Devyn? A lot of things, what was not bothering her were the real questions. “Uh…I mean it’s like an up and down thing. There are times when I think everyone is just lying to me considering how those who seem to care about me leave me or die. Kind of hard to think love is real when even your own mom abu—like yeah.” Devyn said, clearing her throat as she almost let something slip out there.

“Like I get that there are people that do but….what about you? Do you feel that people care about you? Because they obvs do it you were not sure.” Devyn said, changing it back onto Zoe and stating it like it should have been obvious for the other girl to know that she was loved.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe had to smile slightly, knowing that yes, Devyn did still affect her, likely always would affect her on some level. Just knowing that made her feel all the more nervous around the girl. But she had to push forward, had to see what it was, get to the heart. And something told her that the question she'd finally come up with actually hit on something, was actually one of the questions that needed to be asked of the other girl.

Up and down, it was like that for everyone. "I--" Zoe began, only to pause at the cleared throat. Zoe knew of rejection from those you were closest to all too well. She'd been cast off from her family and hadn't spoken with any of them in over a year now, and something within her insisted that would be longer, would continue to stretch into the future.

But Devyn flipped it onto her, asked, and Zoe had to let out a slight laugh. She looked away at the crowds of people moving into the school. "I used to think I was unlovable," she admitted, taking a breath and letting it out slowly. "That I'd done something just so horrible that nobody would ever want to be around me again. But now," Zoe looked back, "now I know better. There's just all these amazing people around who love and cherish us for whom we are. Not just Riley, though she helps but, well, everyone. Like you. Like Vera and Ezra and even Quinn a little," Zoe took another deep breath, smiling up at Devyn. "I really think this is the best place for us, for all of us. It's... it's as if it's been made for us, and we're just lucky enough to have somehow ended up here.

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn really didn't like talking about herself, not when it came to sensitive subjects like this or getting to emotions. Flirting, being playful, talking herself up or someone else up in a teasing or honest way was what she liked to do. Thus this whole talking thing was always going to be awkward; even if it was not Zoe she was talking to, but she was trying. The flipping of the question was mainly to deflect the conversation off of her, and thankfully it worked. Zoe laughing slightly before she started to admit how she used to think.

A part of Devyn wanted to flick Zoe on the head for thinking that she was unlovable; especially considering she had made sure to let Zoe know that she was special. Perhaps she should have said she loved the other girl sooner, but yet again that was something in the past that she could not change. So she didn't dwell on the thought. There was the mentioning of that person's name, but Zoe had added others so it made it less of a thorn poking into Devyn side. She was just happy that Zoe's view on being loved had changed and was smiling to show as much.

"Good to hear that your view has changed for the better." Devyn responded, giving a small nod. She didn't know if she really agreed or not on this place being the best place for 'us'; but she didn't say anything on it. She just looked off, thinking about it as she did still wish to leave this place. The only real reason why she stared; besides for those she cared about, was because she just didn't know where else to go. She didn't know what she wanted to do with her life so she was just buying her time. "I really am happy for you, Zoe." Devyn then spoke up. Her mind just didn't know what else to say but that.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Good to hear, and Zoe almost sighed with frustration. Devyn didn't seem to get it, get that she wanted all that for Devyn, that she'd been specifically saying it, presenting it that way so that Devyn would hear it and act upon it. Instead Devyn just sort of took it as being part of what Zoe felt and, well, that was good, and Zoe did feel good about hearing that from Devyn.

"Well, I want that for you," Zoe pointed out. "But I can't do anything besides keep loving you in the way that I am, Devyn. you're going to have to figure it out for yourself," she shrugged and then looked away, back toward all those crowds of people, crowds that a large part of her still wanted to keep avoiding. It would probably always bother her, but she would still move forward, still push onward.

"I'm sure I'm not the only one," Zoe continued, looking up at Devyn and smiling again. "And if you ever need me, you know you can just call me or whatever, right? I pretty much keep a phone around just for that sort of thing. Well, and pictures," she had to let out a little laugh at that, her gaze again going toward the crowds. Zoe wasn't sure there was anything else she could say, that there was to say period, really. This was what it was, and hopefully it would somehow get better.