Man-made Madness and the Romance of Sadness

[Selina Taylor]

Selina paused outside Alex’s room, feeling slightly bad for not having visited the girl sooner. She had a King size package of Skittles in her hand to help make up for it, but she knew that wasn’t much. Alex was becoming the center of something interesting in Kalispell, but she was still just a young woman. Some people seemed far more interested in turning her into a symbol than about giving a damn about her well being. Not that Selina could entirely blame them, as she knew how PR worked, but still… the media circus was callous at best, and far more often, it was exploitative.

Selina had calmed her rage every time she’d heard about the incident, but the low burning coals of anger still burned deep in the pit of her gut. Selina didn’t take kindly to anyone harming people she cared about, and the way the police weren’t handling it was enough to make her blood boil. She’d seen police deliberately ignore hate crimes against her own people numerous times, as this was America, where the “justice” system regarding anyone who wasn’t a wealthy white male was laughable at best, so she wasn’t in the least bit surprised, just angry. Apparently “non-mutant” should be added to the list of the favored.

Selina took a breath before she walked into Alexandra Lawson ’s room and winced in sympathy as she saw the remnants of what had no doubt been far uglier. “Alex?” she asked quietly, not wanting to disturb the girl if she was sleeping. Selina didn’t mind waiting for the girl to wake, as she knew how restorative rest was for healing. Her anger flared for a moment at seeing the injury before it quickly faded and Selina just felt sad and tired. How many more would end up like this before anything was done? How many had already suffered similar and worse, yet been ignored and forgotten because no one gave a damn?

Nothing would be done by the authorities, and she'd known they couldn't be trusted from a very young age. To take things into her own hands would have harsh consequences, but perhaps they'd be worth it... Of course, killing off a few assholes would only be temporarily applying a light bandaid to a gaping bullet hole. She was tempted though. Very tempted. People like Drew were needed though, to sway those who weren't completely bigoted, and she could probably do more for Alex by protecting him than by going to hunt down the almost murderers. Extremists would always be around, but if public opinion could be swayed, perhaps the responses to those extremists would be harsher... It wan't likely to happen in this lifetime though and Selina wanted something far more concrete than the tenuous hope of a change that might or might not happen.

[Alexandra Lawson]

Alex was restless. She'd barely had the motivation to move even since being released from the hospital to continue her recovery at home and it was driving her stir crazy. Alex had always been something of the manic pixie sort. She attacked every day with an energy and passion for the seemingly mundane that left others out of breath and exhausted. Seemingly boundless exuberance had become her trademark and to spend her days drifting in and out of a restless sleep while contending with the miserable nature of the constant pain from her injuries as well as the lingering effects of the brain injury she'd suffered left her feeling weak and agitated.

At the sound of her voice cutting through the dark of the studio apartment, Alex's head lifted from the pillow. The bed she shared with Ezra had been turned into nothing less than a 'recovery nest' by her boyfriend. No fewer than half a dozen pillows were strewn about, blankets of all sizes and thicknesses were scattered but within arm's reach and he'd even bought a small, wheeled tray table with a couple shelves underneath he kept stocked with bottled water, crackers and various other snacks she may want nearby.

Even with the dim lighting, heavy blankets and the bandage that was still stuck to the side of her face it was apparent Alex wasn't in the best of health. "Selina!" She said. It sounded as though she tried to say the name with the same amount of adoration and enthusiasm as she'd always managed before but her body and mind simply lacked the strength to do so and it came out weak and with a faint rasp added by her still sensitive throat. Carefully she moved to sit up, pulling a couple pillows to help prop herself up. Her features were almost startling. She was pale and moved with a slow deliberation of someone who had to focus just to perform basic tasks. She'd lost an alarming amount of weight which showed in her hollow cheeks and skeletal arms which were now outstretched, beckoning Selina to draw closer for an appreciative hug.

"You didn't have to go out of your way." Alex insisted even though it was obvious just the mere presence of the other woman had instantly brightened her day. She looked to Selina and, despite everything from her appearance and lingering injuries there was still that same youthful gleam trying desperately to shine through in her eyes.

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina took in the scene with mild amusement and a sense of gratefulness to Ezra, who had clearly taken great care with Alex. Selina’s expression softened instantly at the sound of Alex’s voice, a gentleness in her features that only a rare few had ever seen, “Alex, feeling any better?” she asked as she hugged the girl gingerly, tender care in her touch.

    At Alex’s comment, Selina let out a quiet laugh, “It’s not out of the way at all. I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner,” she admitted frankly as she took in the frail frame of her lively and vigorous friend reduced to a pale imitation of who she once was. Selina had always fallen on the more cynical side of things, but Alex had been a bright spot in her life these past few year regardless of Selina’s own pessimism. It was a hard blow to see Alex so weak.

    The fact that Alex was still so much herself though, was a testament to the girl’s own strength. Selina carefully sat on the bed next to her, making sure not to jostle anything and glanced around the room, “Seems you’re well taken care of,” she offered simply, warmth in her tone as she looked back to her friend. It seemed so unreal that Alex would be the one to take such a blow. There were so many others who were openly confrontational… not that it would be justified regardless of who it had happened to, but it seemed to be that much harder to take when the victim was someone as sweet and gentle natured as Alex.

    Selina could take violence, she knew its cost and she knew she could handle it... well, she knew she could survive it at any rate. It was a familiar demon and one she could manage, most of the time, and she desperately wished she'd been there to protect Alex from such cruelty. What good was her training if she couldn't even protect those she cared for? Selina rationally knew that she couldn't be in more than one place at a time and that she couldn't possibly have known this was going to happen, but the emotional side of her hadn't quite caught up yet. 

[Alexandra Lawson]

"Doing better." Alex answered truthfully. The worst was over thanks to Dr. Campbell's continued support (and timely use of his power) and Ezra never ending assistance. While she still had the occasional bouts of pain and discomfort there was little else that could be done other than waiting for the days to pass by and move along her recovery. "Oh, no, it's fine." Alex waved a hand at Selina. "Don't worry about it. I... was out of it for a while." A bit of a frown crept in then, though it was quickly shaken off. "Ezra spent Christmas with me so I wasn't alone." She said nodding slowly.

The smile that was already on her face brightened considerably at the mention of her situation. Alex had always considered herself lucky to have found someone like Ezra and he'd not proven her wrong in the wake of the attack. He'd been there the moment she awoke after so many long, harrowing hours of surgery and waiting to see if she'd come out of a coma. He was there to decorate her hospital room for Christmas and spent every waking moment by her side. He'd even snuck in a bag of Skittles for her. "I don't know where I'd be without him." She said with a thoughtful nod.

Alex was never one to dwell on herself for any length of time if she could help it. She quickly shook off the sober grip of previous conversation and turned her eyes up to Selina. "Enough about me. What about you?" She insisted. "I don't even know how long it's been since we got together. You still loving the corporate badass life?"

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina felt a familiar anger warming her like the hottest coals of a powerful flame. The people who did this… but she wouldn’t focus on that now. She merely nodded to Alex, happy to hear that she’d had good support. “You two getting hitched then?” she teased lightly. Marriage wasn’t something Selina had ever concerned herself with but she knew it was something that other people seemed to be interested in.

    At Alex’s question Selina granted her a wry smile and shook her head, “Same as always,” she offered easily. When Alex brought up her job though, Selina paused. She glanced around the room briefly, though she knew well that no one else was there and made eye contact with Alex, “Alex… can you swear to me you’ll keep a secret?”she asked in a low tone. Her eyes were bright and her cheeks slightly flushed, as when Selina was truly passionate about something, it was almost impossible for her to hide.

    “This is completely new to me… I’ve never done this type of thing before… and well frankly, I don’t even know if- if... ” Selina shook her head and laughed, a self-deprecating edge in the sound, “I’m babbling, I’m sorry. I just-” Selina took a deep breath to gather her thoughts and her composure, “This has to be hush-hush, you understand?” she asked, somewhat nervously. “I’m not entirely certain if anything will even come of this, as it’s just in the beginning stages and-and it’s entirely possible that nothing will change. This might all be just… fantasy on my part,” she admitted softly, “But, I feel like I have to tell someone,” she added hopefully, the sheer excitement evident in every inch of her being.

[Alexandra Lawson]

Alex peered up to her friend in silence. She could sense the anger welling up within Selina. Even though she was often looked upon as a manic, redhead pixie-child Alex was far more astute than most gave her credit for. Especially in the wake of the attack she'd grown startlingly aware of how people had reacted to the violence that had been enacted against her. Selina's reaction, regardless of how subdued or in contrast to the woman's usually laid back demeanor as it was, had been a common sight for Alex to endure over the last few weeks. Before Selina had the chance to speak, Alex reached out and rested her hand upon Selina's. "Let it go." She said, her tone soft. "We're not going to help anything by becoming them." And she would be happy at leaving it at that. Especially because Selina's next question made Alex's brain sort of glitch.

"Hitched?" Alex repeated, turning her eyes away from Selina in order to stare off into space. She'd been with Ezra for over three years now and they'd lived together for nearly two of those. She loved him with all her heart and soul even now. She knew he was the reason she'd been able to recover even as much as she had now. He was the rock that kept her head above water while she regained the strength to swim on her own. "I hadn't thought about that." Eyes narrowed then and shifted to Selina. "You think that's... a thing?"

When Selina started playing the pro-noun game Alex's eyes widened. She hung on every word, leaning in a little closer to Selina as she continued talking. Change? Fantasy? Alex was like a kid about to hear the greatest secret in the history ever right about now as she watched Selina. "Yeah?" She said before nudging Selina with an elbow. "What is it? Tell me."

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina laughed out loud at Alex’s suggestion, “How the fuck can I become like them-” she started before stopping and remembering that Alex wasn’t some random person on the street. Selina sighed and shook her head, “Look Alex, I’ve been through this shit before. I know oppression well and I know what hate crimes look like. Those being oppressed cannot become like their oppressors. It's a systemic power issue, not an individual one. Responding to injustice with anger is, in fact, the logical response. You can forgive these people if you like, as how you deal with this is solely up to you, but I won’t let this go until some manner of justice is done,” Selina added firmly, though her tone was gentle and far from antagonistic.

    Selina then glanced at Alex, slightly bemused by her question, “I think 'hitching' is a thing people do, but whether or not it’s in the cards for you two isn’t something I can claim to know,” she offered simply. Selina had merely been curious, and it seemed like Ezra would be the type to want to settle down, but she couldn’t be positive of that, nor could she possibly think she knew him better than Alex.

    Selina took a breath, still unsure if she should tell anybody at this point… but she was so excited, she couldn’t help it, “I’m thinking of starting my own business!” she blurted out with a ridiculous grin on her face. She’d been thinking it over for a long time, and she’d done a lot of research. She was hoping to start her own private investigative business, particularly with AMA being such a recent threat. She still had to mention it to her boss, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to do that yet, as everything was still being planned out. But she had the funds for it and she had always dreamed of working independently.

    Selina would let the Conners know in plenty of time so they could find a suitable replacement of course, but only once things were more solid so right now it had to remain a secret. She didn’t want them finding out from anybody else, particularly not when everything was still so uncertain. There was a small chance she might even end up remaining with the Conners anyway… but Selina was genuinely in love with the idea of working for herself alone.

[Alexandra Lawson]

Alex sighed and shook her head. She understood Selina carried her own demons and wouldn't try and put herself in the other woman's shoes for a second but it felt like so few bothered to take her into account. Everyone wanted to take up arms against people that hadn't been identified. There had been so many that desired justice, retribution or vengeance that it made Alex want to scream. Violence would only lead to more violence then others like her would get hurt. She was sick of everyone trying to take up a fight on her behalf. Regardless of the mounting frustration, Alex remained silent. It wasn't her place to say, though she was relieved when the focus of the conversation shifted.

"Well, yeah, I know that." She replied with a laugh that was accompanied by a playful swat of Selina's arm. "I just hadn't thought about Ezra, you know, asking." Although, not that she was thinking of it she had to admit it made sense. They'd been together for the better part of four years and lived together for two of those. They'd certainly seen the best and worst of each other during that time and it felt as though they were in as stable a time as could be expected financially. "There hasn't been much, uh, you know, love stuff since..." Alex trailed off and shrugged in awkward embarrassment.

Alex's head tilted as Selina started explaining her idea. Slowly Alex nodded before a bright smile took over her features. "Yeah? That would be cool." She said, feeding of the excitement that Selina so obviously had. "I mean, you can do that now, right? You've got the experience and everything." She paused to think it over for all of two seconds before nodding again. "Yeah. You should so do it."