Negative + Negative = Repulsion

[Lister D. Reynolds]

LDR slumped down in his chair as he entered 7th period physics, Sonic Boom Six blasting through his ears. He couldn't quite face the double period of physics, he knew they were only going to be doing individual revision for an upcoming test but he just wanted the day to be over already. Even though he was a Senior hardly any of the kids seemed to care, they were still taking the piss out of his stutter.

Laying his head down on the desk, LDR tried to fall asleep. That was until Blair Collins slumped down in the seat next to him, his heartbeat quickened slightly breathing irregular. He had avoided her mostly, apart from the few times they had to sit together in class or in a club-room. It wasn't out of spite or anything like that, it was just easier for him that way. He didn't have to face the full effects of his actions. That looked like it was going to change now.
   
He sighed quietly and looked up at the girl "H-H-H-H-H-Hi, B-B-B-B-B-Blair..." No his stutter hadn't got any better. And no it wasn't because he had messed with two of his friends, okay? He tilted his head slightly at her "D-D-D-Do you ne-ne-need a ha-ha-hand wi-with so-something?" A lot of people did ask him for help inside class, all this mathematical stuff kinda just clicked for him. 

[Blair Collins]

The familiar scent of oranges reached her senses and wave of nostalgia washed over. Damn it. She looked up from her Physics textbook to see Lister enter the classroom and slump in his seat. Still as awkward as ever. She returned her gaze to her book, trying her best to concentrate--no such luck.

Groaning internally, she gathered her books in her hands and slung her backpack over her shoulder. She knew she might regret this but she settled down into the seat next to the boy. His heart raced. Well, deal with it. She was aware that Lister had been avoiding her. And until now, she had not made a move to talk with him.

Why now? Because of a stupid fuckin' dream. Blair was a silly hormonal girl, desperate for attention from a boy who clearly liked someone else. Some people could not take a hint. It had been three years--why was she still trying? She wished she knew the answer. "Hi, Lister. It's been a while, eh?" She smiled as casually as she could, not wanting him to be uncomfortable. When did she start needing to force these things? She bit her lip. "Yes, actually. Uhm..." She tried to meet his eyes. "Are we okay?"

[Lister D. Reynolds]

The boy looked up at her for a second before hiding within his arms. Fake. The smile was fake. Why the hell did everyone give him fake smiles? He didn't want her to sit next to him, not now anyway. He just wanted to be back in his dorm. "De-De-De-Define 'o-o-o-okay' and 'ww-we'..." His voice was muffled from his little makeshift pillow.

The teacher didn't seem to mind that two of his students were just chatting as long as it wasn't too loud. For once LDR wished a teacher would intervene. He defiantly didn't want to deal with this. Nope, not today. The texts from Ben had made him feel shit. That was the truth of it. And he just wanted to get to his dorm and shut out the world.

[Blair Collins]

Blair felt her eyes narrow. You dramatic little piece of shit. He hid behind his protective makeshift wall. Always hiding, always running. She rubbed her nose. Can't he see that she was trying to patch things up? She just wished he would make it easier on her--on both of them. "I'll take that as a no," she found herself murmuring.

She sighed and rubbed her arms, Foreigner's Cold As Ice getting stuck in her head. Effin' great. Now she was giving herself a soundtrack? "Well, I would think "okay" means not awkward and "we" means you and me." What? Can't she group them into a word to save a breath or two? Or did he think "we" included Ben as well? Blair clenched her fists. Gosh, when did she become so bitter? "Look, I know you do not really want to talk, mate, but I feel like we should." She stared at her hands. "You're not the only one hurting here."

[Lister D. Reynolds]

The boy shrugged at her words, a smirk forming behind his barrier "You re-realize I-I'm al-always aw-awkward, ri-right?" He peeked up from his makeshift wall and shrugged again "Wh-Wh-What do you wa-want to ta-ta-ta...talk ab-about?" It wasn't that he was unwilling to patch things up, it was just too hard. Looking at her, he felt like running out of the classroom.

"You wa-wa-want to talk about th-the fa-fa-fact ev-everything ex-exploded in my fa-fa-face wh-wh-when you..." Shaking his head the boy huddled back behind his little wall "Doesn't ma-ma-ma-matter...let's ju-just go ba-back to re-re-revising..."

[Blair Collins]

Blair was actually surprised to find herself internally fuming at his words. How dare he! How could he say something like that and just expect her to brush it off?

"So this is my fault? I did not know you had a fucking date that night--you should have told me. Damn it, you should have told me right at the beginning that you had a boyfriend--potential boyfriend, or whatever the hell Benjamin is to you!" But she said none of this.

Blair realized how much bottled up anger she had inside her. And the fact that she was still doing for the sake of being the bigger person angered her even more. "Don't you talk to me about backfires," she warned, her voice dangerously calm. "Three years, Lister. Three--fucking--years. At least I tried to fix things. What about you?"

[Lister D. Reynolds]

LDR dug himself further into his wall, hoping the rest of the world would just disappear if he payed it no attention. No such luck as Blair started up again. He shrugged again, mumbling into his wall "I-I-I-I...I-I-I tri-tried...to no-no-not wo-wo-worsen the si-si-situat-tion..." No, he was going to let her guilt him into anything. The boy shook his head. No way. Why couldn't she just let this go and let him ignore the world? Why couldn't anyone understand he just wanted life to be simple? Not have to worry about his actions. Or his emotions.

A small amount of annoyance built up in him. He looked up from his wall "Wh-Wh-Why d-d-d-don-don't we go ba-ba-back to re-re-revising..." He caught her eyes and had to use all of his willpower not to run away then. Her eyes made him feel all the pain she was suffering. They looked scarred. Pulling his wall tighter around him, the boy wanted to shut out the world again. What had he done?

[Blair Collins]

"Yeah, you would think that, wouldn't you? Well, news flash--doing nothing does make things worse. Each day you avoid me adds salt to the wound." Blair wanted to stop then. Maybe it was not too late to forget this whole confrontation thing--he sure seemed to want that. She did not know what would happen at the end of this. The most probable conclusion would be that they end their friendship whatever their relationship was right then. Any other day, she would have been more optimistic.

But she could not back out now, could she? If she stopped now, they might never resolve this--she did not think she would ever work up enough nerve again. Not like this anyway. It would be easier if the boy was a little more cooperative. "Damn it, Lister, why do you keep hiding?" She bit her lip in hesitation before continuing. "Do you not want to make up?" It was not like she wanted him to be in love with her or anything--just for this to hurt less. "Do you even care?"

[Lister D. Reynolds]

LDR looked up from his wall, eyes threatening to overflow "Of course I care. Wh-Who wouldn't care that both of their fr-fr-friends had left them alone, again? Wh-who wouldn't care that their world had been broken, again? Who wou-wouldn't...you kn-know wh-what forget it." That was it. LDR picked up his books and started moving towards the door, stuttering something to teacher that he forgot something. The teacher just nodded before looking back towards his computer.

And then LDR was walking out of the classroom. Why wasn't he running? Did he want her to follow him? He rubbed his eyes as he continued walking, feeling the tears now breaking through. He didn't want her to see him like this.

[Blair Collins]

negative + negative = repulsion.

Her blood boiled. When he finally looked up, the pain in them threatened to weaken her resolve but she held his gaze. At least he was finally reacting from his emotions. But then he started to leave. The other students watched him and when he disappeared, they looked at her. Goodness knows what they are thinking.

Blair was conflicted. Do I follow him? That would be against the rules but the teacher did not seem to care. Whispers spread across the room--all of which she could hear quite clearly. Gritting her teeth, she gathered her stuff and went after the boy. No one stopped her. I am an idiot.

He was not running--thank goodness--so she caught up easily. "Lister, stop." Holding her items in one hand, she pulled on his shoulder with her free one. She tried to meet his eye again. "Stop running away. Please."

tag: lister | notes: none