Phone Call 1.0 (Bearika)

[Everett King]

STARTING PHONE CALL!
to BEARIKA

-click-

Erika. ERIKA. 

CAN.YOU.HEAR.ME!?

[Erika Conner (Bellefonte)]

Call From: Beverett (Payback's a bitch)
Erika. ERIKA.
CAN.YOU.HEAR.ME!?

---

Lawd, stop yelling.
You sound like a constipated bear or something.
No, I can't I hear you. That's why I'm answering your question.
What's up?

[Everett King]

Erika, thank goodness.
There is a woman in my phone. There is a WOMAN inside my phone!
And she's talking. Do I talk back?
What the hell do I say!? I don't want to hurt her feelings.

[Erika Conner (Bellefonte)]

...What?
*Laughing uncontrollably*
What are you talking about?
*Takes a deep breath*
It's probably just an app.
You know, the kind the magical elves who live inside your phone,
built to make your life a whole lot easier.

[Everett King]

ELVES?
*Completely serious*
Erika what the hell are elves doing in my phone!?

*monotone*
They must be fricken tiny to fit, poor things probably get cramps

You're proud though right, I'm on a phone and everything.
I feel retro.

[Erika Conner (Bellefonte)]

...
.......
...Yeah, so proud.
Don't let Flappy Bird eat you alive.
That bird has brought many a brave heart to insanity.
*Laughs*
No, but seriously. Just exit the app.
Or talk back. Ask her out on a date.

[Everett King]

Ok.
What if she says yes?
Won't you get jealous?
How does one take a phone on a date anyway?
I'm still sure you'll get jealous.
Right?

Oh, by the way.
Why did you call me again?

[Erika Conner (Bellefonte)]

Yes, Everett.
I'll totally get jealous of a phone.
Even worse, I'd ditch you and marry my laptop.
Or Cleverbot.
Now that I think about, that wouldn't be so bad.
Ask your robot girlfriend if she wants to be my maid of honor.

I just wanted to make sure you got the memo.
We're saving the world today.
I'm Batman.
You're Robin.
And yes, you have to wear a costume.

[Everett King]

See?
I was right.

I have a personal vendetta against Batman and Robin, thank you very much.
I mean, what kind of hero names himself after a bat?
What the hell are bats even good for?
Besides, have you seen all his weapons, they're shaped like BATS.
That's just conceited.

But I bags Batman.
Not even I can look good in Robin's tights, luv. 
*virtual wink*

[Erika Conner (Bellefonte)]

Now, don't get cocky, dear.
You're cute, but not that cute.
*Snicker*

...You do know that bats perform a vital, ecological role when it comes to pollinating flowers and dispersing fruit seeds, right?
Kinda like Batman does, just that he does it to women.
...And Robin, but that's a different story.
See, I'd make the perfect Batman.

I don't think any member of the male gender would look in tights.
Ever.
Which is why you have to be Robin.
Besides, I'd rock that suit.

You can be Ironman.

[Everett King]

I could be that *emphasis* cute if I wanted to be.
But my cuteness would shatter the world.
Hence, I am doing a good deed.

Oh right, I love you.
Always forget that part.

You're going to dump me for a bat, aren't you?
You know that song where the 'dish runs away with the spoon' and leaves the fork?
And then the spoon shows up and gives the fork some spork baby?
I'M THE FORK.

[Erika Conner (Bellefonte)]

Uh-huh.
The same cuteness that got me to leave you for a laptop?
Better step up your game, hun.
The robots are winning the battle.

Harr, harr.
You're so funny.

Nah, wings aren't my thing.
Ironman however.
Now, that's a piece of man I'd like to get my hands on.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
What century were you born in again?
...And what on earth is spork baby supposed to be?

What are you wearing?

[Everett King]

You're low standards are not my problem dove.
Just because your laptops can't fight back doesn't make them a more viable option than your's truly.


Ok seriously, do you just get a hard on for hard metals or something gurl?
Is this a fetish I should know about? I'm telling you right now that I have a strict no-no on cosplay.
Or roleplay.

With age comes experience, like cheese.


You're going to take this the wrong way, but....
Nothing.

[Erika Conner (Bellefonte)]

Low standards? Hardly.
My laptop has been my most loyal companion for years now, thank you very much.

Oh yes, totally.
Whenever I see a piece of metal, my lady boner goes raging.
Like Mr. Salad Fingers and rust.
I'm just as creepy.
Just prettier.
*Laughs*

And wine. Don't forget wine.

...I'm not even going to ask.

[Everett King]

You're low standards are not my problem dove.
Just because your laptops can't fight back doesn't make them a more viable option than your's truly.


Oooh, do I detect some sarcasm dove?
Getting a little defensive aren't we?

I don't think Ironwhatsitz deserves you.
Is that ok? I'm the only one that can touch you like I do.
Who knows, you might get lead poisoning or something. 
*shudders*

As in, you'll get drunk on my sexiness?

That would probably be best...