[AU] Dah Dum Dum Dummmmm

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"BA, BUM, BADADUM DUMM DUMM DA DA DUM DUM DA DUM DUM DADDADDUMMM
BAAAAA DUM DUM DUM DDAAAAAAAH DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM. BAAA BAAA BAAAA BAAA BAAAA BAABA BABA BABA DAH DUM DUM BAAAAAAAAA BAAAAAAAAAA BAAAAAAAAA BAAAAAAAAA BA DA DA DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DA DA DUM DUM DAH DA DUM DUM DA DUM DUM DE DEU. BOOOM BOOOM BUMMM BADDAA BAD UM DUM DUMM DA DUMMM BAAAAAA DAAAA DA DA DUM DUUUM DA DA DUUUUUUUUUUM BAAAAAAAAA. DAAAAAAAAAA. DAAAAAAAAAAA. BAAAAH. BAAAAAH BAAAAHA BAAAAH BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH .BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. BAAAAAAAH .BAAAAAAAAAAAH. BAAH DAH DUM DUM DA DA DA DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DAH DUM DUM!"

And with that beautiful welcome, Cersei, who was now apparently played by Frank Cox for reasons only known to Mel, lowered her hands and shook herself. She nodded and gestured, her hand soon being filled with a cup of grape juice. "Right, so there's the obviously awesome opening number and all. Oh, and the recap thing. Uhhh," Frank looked around for a moment, walking forward, "so I totally did this thing where my husband is now, like, okay, he's still old and fat, but now he's, like, um, a vegetable or something. He's totally alive though, so no chopping off Ned Stark's head yet," Frank paused to take a sip of her juice, smacking her lips. "Ah, good year. Now, I, ah, called the great Dane---Denari----Denny---Dany, I called the great Dany Dragonlady here because I totes wanna ally with her to just rule the whole iron throne thingy. I get to be, like, sub-queen while she's queen, and we were just about to do the alliance thing when my best friend and weird hunchback Hodor showed up, with Ramsay just behind her."

Frank paused for a moment, tapping her hand to her side. "oh, and I'm totally still shagging my twin brother," she gestured, and another Frank, this one dressed as a dude, stepped out and went "Yo" in a deep voice. Both Franks grinned. "So much more action than regular universe. I'm gonna bang myself and yell about how I have the biggest swong in all of middle earth." Frank paused to take a drink while a servant walked up and whispered something in her ear. She leaned over. "Wait, what? Westeros? That name sucks. Queen Dany Dragonlady!" Frank turned to find her. "Make that note: we're so changing the name of this place, like, first thing when we become twin queens or something."

And Frank strode down to a table that was laden with goodies, nearish to where Dany Dragonlady stood yet still across the room from Hodor, the gentle, stupid giant, and Ramsay. "Right, so let's get this on. I want at least one nude scene with my sexy hot twin over there."

[Ellen Banks]

(OOC: Ellen Banks wishes it to be known that she is participating in this thread under severe protest and will burn down Mel’s house while she sleeps to for making her do this)

THUD! THUD! THUD! That sound could only mean one thing: Hodor Banks has arrived on the scene carrying as much dignity as a 7 foot tall blond lumbering retard could carry herself IE No Dignity whatsoever. Opening the door to the room to bear witness to the queen staring off into space and talking to no one in particular again. As she wondered for the 1000th time how the fuck was this girl the most powerful woman in the seven kingdom and SHE was doomed to carry a whiny little child on her shoulders for the rest of her days

Ellen could only look on at the scene as Queen Frank –She always shuddered at that title- went about her business her eyes narrowed in a mix of bemusement, irritation and just generally insulted she was even here “Hordor” she grunted“Why do you always narrate everything> we know who you are, we know who we are and we know why were here your imaginary friends have probably killed themselves long ago out of shame of being imagined by you anyway. I hate you more then words could say and I'm honestly rooting for the ice zombie things

She then turned her head just a little to look to the other guests, to take part in this idiotic meeting nodding at Luxanna/Dany “Hordor” If I was queen your head would be ripped off your shoulders and on a pike the moment you came here. In fact I’m still debating if I should crush everyone in this room skulls in with my freakishly large hands . First Frank of course. Sure I’ll probably be killed for it but oh it’ll be worth it..

Where’s Geoffrey? He always cheered her up…

[Roxana Strix]

To be Ramsay Snow. One would not really know if it was an honor or well a curse to be someone with such a background and history of doing things his own special way. In this situation, that would be in her own special way. Why was she here? That was something to be figured out later and would hang in the air as a mystery for now. A mystery was always the best and most interesting way to have a character in a world. It also provided said character's creator the opportunity to make something up later on that would work well to have a particular effect on the readers.

That was the current plan in this situation at this meeting between two potential future Queens and a half giant. Roxana followed behind Ellen, Hordor in this case without a word. A small smile on her face as she walked behind the giant at a distance. Not saying anything, but just a small smile on her face as her arms hanging in a relaxed manner at her sides as she looked around the keep. Yes, this place looked nice. It would look even better with a few decorations added along the walls, decorations that would really liven the place up.

Queen Frank's words were noted, but nothing really surprised Roxana at all on such matter. Royalty seemed to always do whatever it was they liked. She didn't want to be around when the Queen and her twin got it on however, that would have made things very interesting on almost a disturbing level.

((I have like the zeroest idea of how to do this particular AU >> but #trying))

[Luxanna Viera]

Sitting completely still, Lux-Dany's eyes were wide as she gazed about the room, looking between the three different characters inside the room. She had noticed that her hair was now platina blonde, her eyes purple (how she had noticed that was a mystery) and it was much, much longer now than what it had been before. Apparently, she had three dragons too, because clearly Mel doesn't know about timelines, and one of them was sitting calmly by her side, for no apparent reason whatsoever.

She looked absolutely terrified too. She had no idea what she was doing here, because the last thing she remembered was... Asking someone to take their pants off? Again, clearly Mel knows nothing about working around timelines, and seriously, why would she, Lux-Dany ask someone to take their pants off? The mere thought made her want to- well, nevermind that.

"Uhm," she began, lifting a trembling hand. "Do we, uh, have to watch this nude scene? Because I'm-I'm not really comfortable with that," she flushed. Heck, she was barely comfortable looking at herself in the mirror while naked, yet it seemed to be a reoccurring thing according to her memories. Something about standing naked in front of her older brother? And last time Lux-Dany checked, she didn't even have a brother...

Man, this felt bizarre.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

Frank gave the gathered group a long look. "C'mon, people! You all act like you've never done the whole fanfiction thing before! Honestly, you're gonna make me come up with, all of the plot," Frank took another drink of the grape juice, pausing for a moment. "let's see..." Frank tapped her rim and then snapped her fingers.

"Right, so, I clearly understand Hodor because we're obviously supertight," Frank took another drink, "so I can let you all know that what she was obviously just saying is that there's this huge army of these creepy zombie guys, like, north of the wall being held off by a whole bunch of hot guys who haven't seen a woman and ages. Naturally, I'm still going to stay true to my brother," again the male Frank lounging off to the side winked, made a "tsch" sound and did the finger gun at the Frank doing the speaking, "but that doesn't mean that Dany here can't tell everyone to take their pants off. And Roxsy can just chop off all their penises or something."

Frank took another sip, then set the mostly empty cup on the table before hopping on. She leaned back, her face scrunching. "So... we're gonna have to put together my awesome wealth and Dany's awesome dragons and go kick some zombie butt. I figure we can wrap this up in, like, half a season. Mostly because there will be at least three nude scenes of me in every episode and probably one more of Dany being awesome," Frank took another sip then looked around. "So good to everyone? We go, ride dragons, roast some ice zombies, and shag every hot guy in Narnia."