Let Her Go

[Luxanna Viera]

She'd heard about it already. She'd heard from various contacts she still had here in Kalispell and she knew exactly where she'd find him.

Jack. Jack McCarthy, the boy Lux had once called her best friend. The boy she hadn't talked to in years. Mostly because she didn't want him to pine over her deathbed. After she got sent to Switzerland, she'd stopped talking to mostly everyone, 'cept for her family.

And now she was back. She'd missed so much, yet, in a way, she didn't really mind. She'd been through one hell of a battle and she'd survived. She'd become stronger because of it and she was no longer shy of conflict. She knew she had a lot to make up for and that her being back - heck, she didn't even know if Jack knew she was alive - would tear up a lot of old wounds, but it had to be done.

She saw him sitting alone by the bar, drinking. Apparently that's all he'd been doing after the break-up between him and Onnie. In a way, she understood it. It was so typical of him. After over three years, he hadn't really changed. It was disappointing, she supposed, but he'd been through a lot too.

Placing her purse on the counter by the bar and took a seat. "I'll have a glass of water, with ice, please." Folding her hands, the brunette with the much shorter hair turned her head towards Jack.

"You look terrible." Her tone was even and despite her natural, almost passive expression, her eyes were concerned, caring. She turned towards the bartender as he gave her her glass of water. "You were always an awful drunk," she continued, her remaining passive. "Though, you were never really that good at handling anything remotely emotional, so I guess I shouldn't be that surprised."

[Jack McCarthy]

Yes, So Jack was drinking….Again...So what. What business was that of anyone else?! Oh, excuse him for doing literally nothing that really affected no one else. So he might be drinking, he may not have shaved in awhile, So he’s been missing classes. A lot. Jack wasn’t aware that how he chose to spend time as of ANY concern but his own.



People should just mind their own fucking business.


He tired, the conversation way, he tried to fit in. He tried the whole relationship, friendly thing and…..well the aching throbbing pain that was resonating in the center of his chest served as a constant reminder of how that went for him.


So his life’s philosophy was now: “Fuck it.” Fuck. Life. Fuck school. Fuck College. Fuck it all. Jack was happy to swim and drown in the champagne supernova he was currently trapped in.


Jack didn’t know how long he sat there. Maybe hours. Minutes. before he was joined by someone, his bloodshot tried eyes slide up to weakly appraise the person standing next to her... and they stayed there in shock.



His face froze in surprise, blinking several times over and over again as if expecting with every blink that she’ll poof in a drunken haze. No, no no. This wasn’t a hallucination not was it some kind of weird blond doppelganger. This was the real thing.



Maybe if Jack wasn’t currently beating his liver in the head with a lead pipe, he might be freaking out, he might reach over and hug her or something like that, but in this state? Jack could only lean forward in his chair stare at his feet and let out a bemused bitter giggle trying to hide that slowly growing seed of shame in his stomach



Of course. Of COURSE, she would show up now. Of course, she was here when Jack was at his lowest. Because why not right? Why wouldn’t the universe and the fates just sneak in that one extra kick right to Jack’s balls, Jack slightly tilted his head towards Lux can’t quite meeting her eyes a dim smile on his face as if playing along with a massive cosmic joke “...Your hair is different…. You cut it"

[Luxanna Viera]

She noticed the surprise in his eyes; she'd expected it. They hadn't seen each other for years. Nor had they talked. Of course he'd be surprised.

Looking at her shoulder, where her cut hair barely touched, the brunette nodded. "Mmhm," she replied with a simple nod. "I felt like changing it." In fact, it was only part of a lot of changes that had happened, but this wasn't the time for it. Not now. Not here.

"Sober up," she finally said with a nod towards the glass of water she had yet to touch. "We're going for a walk." It wasn't as much as an order, than a friendly suggestion - though her voice indication she wouldn't take no for an answer. She knew that getting drunk and drowning himself in self-pity, Jack wouldn't do much better.

The brunette pushed herself up and took a step away, gathering her purse and gesturing towards the door with a jerk of her thumb. "We have a lot to talk about and it's getting late, so we better get started."

[Jack McCarthy]

In a way, it was a blessing that Jack’s emotions and feeling were suitably numbed thanks to the miracle of a combination of booze and alcohol swirling through his system. because if he was sober no doubt that Jack would be currently freaking out as much as humanly possible emotions skyrocketing and flatlining within milliseconds of each other and his voice moving so fast and getting so high-pitched that only dogs could hear, because when Lux was concerned the mere mention of her name was enough to send his mind into turmoil

“I like it….It’s like…” Jack slowly gesturing toward her and her new hair style with typically trembling hands his pictured brain tried to pick out the right phrase “....Shorter” He finally settled on…
Jack winced a little like he just took a shot (Which wasn’t a terrible idea actually) when Lux told him to get up a groan escaping his mouth like a kid told he had to get up to get to school now. “Ice water sounds….like not a thing I want to do” he muttered staring at the glass like it was a glass of pure acid. He wasn’t even sure he could get out of the chair if he tried. His atoms might well have fused purely with this bar stool, he’ll be stuck here forever more.Till the end of the time.

... But Jack knew that tone of voice, it was a tone that simply meant “I’m not taking no for an answer” Jack would have liked to believe that he was passed, responding to her like that….but…..

….Damn it….

Jack winced as the cold ice water hit his system as he stumbled to his feet and followed Lux out the door eyes adjusting to the bright light harshly “I’m not really in a talking mood these days...sooo.. can we just start off with….” hey?”

[Luxanna Viera]

"I do too," she smiled. In fact, it was one of the changes she probably liked the most. She'd always had long, curly hair, but now it was shorter and more wavy than curly and much easier to maintain. Lux also thought that it made her look more mature - as mature as she felt. She no longer was that shy little wallflower she had been 3-4 years ago. She'd grown into herself a lot.

Despite Jack's reluctance, the boy followed suit and soon they'd gotten out of the bar and started walking down the street. The brunette watched the myriad of people walk up and down the same street they did, before she turned to look at the boy she'd once called her best friend with a sad smile. "Hey," she replied in turn. "Guess I'll do the talking then," she added with a faint shrug. She looked ahead then, a small furrow forming between her brows.

"SPRITE took away my powers," she began. She didn't know how much Jack knew about it all. Heck, she didn't even know if he'd known she was alive. No matter, though. She was here now. "It took some time for my body to get used to the idea of not having a power to keep it alive. I essentially had to rebuild my entire immune system."

[Jack McCarthy]

Jack honestly preferred the long wavy hair, not that there was anything particularly wrong with the hair, but it mad Lux seem, more….adult, she looked very grown up and mature and that was throwing Jack for a mild loop, especially considering that Jack and she were roughly the same age. Lux seemed to be embracing the fact that she wasn’t a teenager anymore but Jack? Maybe he was about to when Onnie and he were together but now? Jack was happy to mentally turn back into a kid. Shit, he wasn’t ready to be an adult and do adult thing, like get a job, house. Shit, he could barely tie his shoelaces as it is, how the hell could he just snap his fingers like Lux seemed to do and suddenly be ready to face the world.


Things were moving too fast, things were changing far too fast for his liking…


Jack tried and kept up with her, dancing around the people walking against him, hoping to keep up, did he have questions? Of course, he hasn’t seen her for three years and in those three years, there’s been very little contact between them, which hurt Jack a little. His mind as it so often did jump to the worse case scenario and just assumed that her powers finally got to her, a small word to him; An email, a letter...anything to tell Jack that wasn’t the case would have been more than welcome.


Maybe he would have brought this up if booze hasn’t dulled his senses and he wasn’t still trying to get over her sudden reemergence…


So Jack just stood there and listened, even when she broke the news that she was now powerless, he didn’t say a word. At first, at least, he didn’t understand what she was saying and the information just had the sink in his head for a little, when it did you could almost hear something click in Jack’s head as he turned his head sharply in her direction blinking rapidly “Wait...you don’t have a power...but...Your power...it was keeping you alive...so”


Jack didn’t need to finish that sentence.


Jack’s mouth seemed to twitch momentarily as he broke away from Lux a moment, his hands on his hips nodding his head over and over again, just absolving the information until his hands almost involuntarily balled into fists which he pumped with aplomb, his mouth making a joyous growl almost in sheer relief as he felt the weight of years worth of worry and angst slip off his shoulders. Eventually, he couldn’t help it anymore, with almost a delirious chuckle he suddenly grasped Lux tightly as he could not caring that they were in the middle of a street and he probably reeked of booze “I told you!” Jack said with as much joy as someone whose had his unshakeable faith in the impossible vindicated can make “I told you, it’ll be ok. Why do people never listen to me?! I KNEW IT! You going to live...you're not going to die Lux...”

[Luxanna Viera]

She gave Jack the appropriate amount of time to let all the information sink in. Or, at least she tried to. Before she could react, Jack's arms were around her and he hugged her tight. For a brief moment, the brunette was stunned. Then, she slowly let her arms go around his waist, hugging him lightly. She wasn't sure how she'd expected him to react. Part of her had expected him to be mad that she hadn't at least called. Then again, it was only recently she was well enough to leave the hospital. She didn't want to jinx anything or give Jack any false hopes by calling beforehand.

He was, after all, part of why she was back.

"You did," she said once she finally managed to get out of his embrace. "And I'm not. At least, not because of my power." She took a step back to give them both some room to breathe. And hey, in this dark time, at least, hopefully, this could shine on Jack's already dim situation. It was selfish to think that, but one could hope.

"It took a lot of time," she continued with a sigh. "I didn't want to call to give you false hope." But here she was. At least that had to count for something.

[Jack McCarthy]

One hug. That was all it took and the floodgates opened, all those emotions just came rushing back to him like a recovering alcoholic relapsing after being as dry as an Egyptian desert. The queasy in his stomach. The warmth that went through his veins. The queer yet the strong sensation of peace and containment that soothed his aching heart. Whatever it was that Lux’s sheer aura did to Jack, she should bottle it and sell it on the black market…..


….or maybe all of that was just the booze in his system and generally pining pathetically like a whipped dog…


That sounded more like him…


finally, Jack forced himself off Lux and started walking beside her, her mood slightly lifted just a little by the news and that for once he manages to call something, especially something that should have been impossible.


Jack instantly warmed off her dismissal almost forgiving Lux as an impulse. A muscle that naturally reacted whenever it was produced even a little “ Naaaa. I kind of guessed you were going through….Stuff...bad stuff...you know being super powered sick or…” Jack trailed off the lie not wanting to entertain the thought ever again or even say it and, of course, he avoided conflict with her, because...Even now...even all this time, he just...he just couldn’t around her.


Damn it Jack you should be over THIS


“Soooo...what are you doing back in town? Just a passing viisit or…”

[Luxanna Viera]

Lux's facial expression grew softer and she issued a faint chuckle. "You don't have to dance around the bush anymore, Jack. I'm fine. I promise." She offered him a smile, as if only to empower her words; She was fine. She had been fine ever since her doctors had cleared her. She didn't feel bad about the mentions of her power, even though she sort of missed being a part of the mutant community. She no longer was; she was just another human being in this giant world filled with people, just like her.

"I don't know yet," she answered truthfully, her attention directed forward and away from the boy. "I'm going to go visit my mom and brother, and after that... I guess we'll see." She hadn't really decided anything beyond the fact that she felt the need to come back, if only just for a little while.

Still, that topic seemed overly depressing and Jack clearly needed something to distract him, that wasn't alcohol.

"I'm working on a book," she said as she tossed him a glance. "I'm going to write about the struggles with my power and everything that came with it. I'll write about my life, my friends and... No longer being a mutant." A shadow cast over her face when she mentioned that and she had to look away.

[Jack McCarthy]

Jack winced a little at Lux friendly reminder that she wasn’t made of glass and she could handle hearing the “D-word” especially now that there wasn’t some kind of force slowly choking the life out of her. “Right. Right...Gotta learn to stop that…” Maybe he did it more for his benefit than Lux, she was always FAR more at peace with her fate than Jack ever was. She made her peace with it and Jack….well, he never made peace with anything in his entire life. So he had tried to avoid  those kind of words that let the hairs on the back of his neck tingle uncertainly. It became almost like a habit for him to simply dance around the topics as much as he possibly could.


Just another habit he had to quit.


“Ummm. Well…” Jack began to stay trying to pick his words very carefully indeed “If you want….if you need a place to stay. Crash or whatever, and you have nowhere else to go, I have a big empty apartment that’s like WAY too big for me, seriously it’s like a hike to get to my bathroom from the bedroom, I got lost there at least twice I could- Then Jack suddenly remembered, he slapped his forehead with his hand sharply as the memory came flooding back


“Oh. RightI DID. I did have an apartment, I moved out, I’m back in my old college dorm. So that’s….That’s fun” Jack said with a forlorn sigh not waiting to get into the reasons why he moved out wanting to just move on.


“Oh hey, that’s great!”Jack said legitimately happy to hear that a smile but that quickly died when she moved on and talked about the topics she wanted to write about, his eyes not leaving her face. He had known Lux long enough to know when something troubled her. “Hey, hey hey….You say that like it’s a bad thing. Powers aren’t that great, being a mutant isn’t all that great, I have a whiny sidekick for mine. Plus we have this crazy lady who I’m pretty sure is trying to kill us all. So when the choppers come for us, you’d be sparred….so that’s a plus...woo...I guess” Jack rubbed the back of his head knowing that pep talks weren’t exactly his specialty and probably falling at making her feel better. this was more Lux's comfort zone not his “Just because you lost your powers, doesn’t make you any less you...it’s just a version of you….who isn't dying slowly…..Probably the best version of you”

[Luxanna Viera]

The brunette watched the boy she had grown up with; the boy she had shared her first drink with down by the lake at the age of fifteen. She'd found his stash of... "Magazines" in a tree and well, they'd been friends ever since. They'd had quite the interesting relationship, but she couldn't quite help wonder at what point Jack became so.. Lacking of hope. She wondered if there had been anything she could have done about it, but she also realized that the notion was silly; she had her own demons to slay at the time. What could she possibly have done?

"It's okay," she said softly. "I'm staying at my mom's anyways." She offered him a gentle smile, hoping it would at least take away his pain, even though she knew it wouldn't. She couldn't do much but offer him time. "If you ever want to get away from the school, my mom would be happy to have you." Sadly, her mother didn't have the lucky strike Lux had, and she was still sick, but at least she could do pretty much everything on her own nowadays. "Nick's room's open too, since he transferred to St. Bethany to be closer to his dad."

Looking up at the sky, the brunette shrugged. "I guess," she said silently. In truth, she was glad she was healthy, but it just felt so... Different. She was used to having a power and being part of a community and now that she wasn't, it felt like a piece of her was missing. "It's hard to explain," she added with a sigh. "But I guess you're right." She bumped his shoulder and offered him a smile. "It's just odd, you know? Here I am, suddenly having to figure out a future most people spend their entire young lives figuring out, and I have to begin now."

[Jack McCarthy]

No, Jack was not in a good place, these days. Not that he would let Lux ever know how truly bad he was these days, at the very least during his cancer days he had, at least, Onnie. He could hold on to that. She was the one strong for him

….With her Jack had something, a reason to fight to survive. As long as he had a reason, Jack would never really ever let something over come him,

But now that Onnie left….Jack was…..just kind of drifting, the fight kind of gone out of him.
But he naturally tried to hold those feelings down, like anything else Jack didn’t want to feel, he just put it all down in a little tiny ball, lock it up in a box at the back of his mind and try to pretend it doesn’t exist in the hopes it’ll go away

That’s a sound strategy, right? Lux clearly had her own stuff to deal with….

For the first time in what seemed lke forever, a pitch of exicitment actually came across Lux’s features, yes that DID sound like an attractive proposition, his dorm in his college….well he was coming to hate it in all honesty, it was lonely small and cramped not to mention certainly messy perfectally matching Jack’s own chaotic state of mind at the moment, so the idea of actually being in a house with one of his best friends that might be just what he needed. “Yeah!” Jack suddenly exploded a little too loudly then maybe was expected, Jack instantly looked sheepish and scratched the back of his head speaking in a very measured and overly quiet tone of voice “I mean….yeah cool if you have space...I’m usually kind of busy, you know friends...school...friends. Lots and lots of friends” He said in what he hoped with an overly calm way of speaking as if he didn’t care one way or another.


“Well, I mean. We’ve still kids right we don’t have to do the whole grown up till….Whenever you know? Why would anyone grow up?” Jack made a dismissive sound with his lips not liking the idea of making any real choices, not one bit. “Oh….” Jack mentioned frowning “I guess I should ask about….what’s his face….Tim….Still hiding out in bathrooms and taking pictures inside?

[Luxanna Viera]

"You don't have to pretend with me, Jack," she said, tossing a glance his way. "It's okay to be hurt." She felt a tinge of sadness at her own words. She wished things could go back to the way they'd been, but even she realized that it was impossible. She'd missed so much and she had no place here anymore. That much was obvious. But that didn't mean she couldn't make new ties. "And of course there's space. My mother would love to have you around," she promised.

After all, Jack was probably her mother's favorite person after her own children. It wasn't very weird, after all. Jack had been a part of Lux's life for a long time.

"We have to at some point," she said silently, offering him a sad smile. Then the conversation topic shifted over to Tim, someone Lux hadn't thought about in a long time. Shrugging, the brunette huffed. "I wouldn't know. I haven't talked to him in a long time," she replied truthfully. Though, in many ways, she felt it was better that way. Leaving those kind of past memories where they belonged. 

"Are you in school?" She was desperate to change the topic off her own life, if only for a moment. She knew it was selfish, because Jack wanted nothing more to forget his.

[Jack McCarthy]

At Lux’s words, Jack couldn’t help but to smirk a tad sadly towards his friend drumming her hands against his legs “You realize that you’ve been telling that for years at this point” Jack said with a sigh….Has he really changed since he was a teen? Could he really change? Sometimes Jack thought so, but the evidence was overwhelming to the contrary, especially when he just fell into old habits on instinct alone almost “Can’t teach an old dog new tricks….or a young dog...or a dog almost in his twenties…..shit...I’m almost in my twenties….When did THAT happen?!” He muttered almost to himself wondering where the time went.


Shit, he couldn’t be an adult he could barely tie his own shoe laces, that can’t be allowed right?


Jack just made a little laughing sound and shrugged his shoulder, the topic of growing up was a touchy one for him, and one he didn’t really know how to handle it so proceeded the normal well rehearsed Tango he was so used to....But he did feel better once Lux's mom was brought up "I think your mom was the first adult to ever really like me.....I didn't know how to handle that


“What really?” Jack said legit surprised “I thought you and Tim were like...Tight. Loves young dream. Teenage sweethearts long walk on the beach. Candles. Flowers. And his weird video projects we-Shut up Jack...Ok..” He scolded himself telling him to shut up knowing first hand that breaking up wasn’t exactly something he wanted to relieve so why would he want to do the same to Luxanna. “Whatever ….He was a tool, too shifty. He had tiny eyes, like a shrew, or a chicken. Never trust a man with tiny eyes. Tiny eyes, tiny heart….unless it was material in which case. I didn’t say anything” He trailed off wishing he never brought it up in the first place.


“Oh yeah yeah yeah,” he said rapidly, “You know….it’s funny actually...I was thinking...maybe I could write to, I did a few essays that apparently were “Entertaining, whatever that means….but the last few weeks I didn’t sow to class for the last few weeks, actually I’m meant to be in class right now but...you know...stuff”


Jack lapsed against into silence as he just walked along until he blurted out suddenly


“When did life get so…...complicated?”