Perks of an Empty Block

[Chris Grayson]

"I need you, by me, beside me, to guide me, to hold me, to scold me, 'Cause when I'm bad, I'm so' so bad." Chris paused for a second to stay in time with the music. "So let's dance, the last dance! Let's dance, the last dance! Let's dance, this last dance tonight!"

There were a few good things Chris could state as the perks of having an entire dorm block all to himself. At that current moment, he was abusing a majority of them to the fullest extent without a care in the world. As Donna Summer's Last Dance screamed from the speakers that would normally be playing Halestorm or Paramore, Chris was dancing around the room like a complete imbecile only half dressed in his baggy Wolverine pajamas. Although he wore them proudly- especially as utterly drunk as he was at the moment- only a small few outside of his minuscule friend group ever got to actually see them. Chris danced his way back over to pick up his can of Bud Light and empty the rest of it. As he did he eyed the television, which was still playing the X-men cartoons he'd started the night out with when he was sober.

"Da'fuq 're you doin' Wolverine? Runnin' around like a fuckin' bright ass yello bee. Fuck you." Chris slurred, walking over and laying across the couch. "Get yer Disney shit outta here."

He tried taking another drink from his can, but found it empty to his surprise. He tried putting it on the table but missed entirely, not caring anyhow as it joined some of the other cans lying on the floor.

"I should get more beer." Then he paused and shook his head. "Wait I shouldn't lissen to myself I'm drunk." He tried to think through the blur alcohol had put over his mind. "Oh I know!" He realized triumphantly. "I should text Riley. She's not drunk. Least I don't think she is maybe. Oh," He frowned in contemplation, "I should ask her if she's drunk. Daz a good idea. Maybe she can get me a pizza too. Or maybe I should call the Chinese instead. Dumplins're good."

With all this so cleverly in mind, Chris tried getting up from his couch only to spot someone standing in the doorway to his dorm. If he'd been thinking rationally, he would've realized that the music had most likely attracted them to investigate. As it were, Chris wasn't exactly in his cleverest mindset.

"Who da'fuq 're you? Did you get the pizza?

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Bellefonte Academy, filled with nostalgia from the good ol days when she was one of the biggest social butterflies, knew everything about everyone and had the easiest time finding parties to crash. Most of those parties had been thrown by her or her dorm room, but even still, the other parties were something she enjoyed getting into at times, even if they weren't as good. Living in an apartment that was close to the community college and gave her easier access to her job had its downfalls. For one, her apartment was full of people who wanted to adult without having any fun, which frankly wasn't Adrianna's style. She couldn't find any good parties in the whole building and if she planned on throwing one, she had to get clearance for the number of people and blah, blah, blah. The most she was able to do was dinner parties, but nothing out of hand came from that.

So it was a good set-up that her and Cassie had. Both of them were so used to staying together that they had made it a plan to swap back and forth, Cassidy staying at the apartment some nights and Adrian staying in her sister's dorm the other nights. Dorm monitors knew her very well and they honestly loved her back when she attended BA, so the arrangements worked in their favor. Of course the point was for the twins to stay together at all costs, but even so, Cassidy liked the apartment for its peace and quiet while Adrianna liked the dorms for exactly the opposite. There was always something going on that pegged her interest.

Coming from Cassidy's room, Adrianna was headed across the empty, or rather mostly empty, dorm block as a way to get to the lobby easily and without having to dodge people. She was dressed in a pair of athletic shorts and a cut off, very different from what she typically wore outside the house. As she cut across, she could hear music blasting from one of the rooms and that was where curiosity killed the cat. She approached the door and peeked inside, rather entertained by the sight before her eyes. Pretty guy, no shirt and X-men pajama pants. How cute. She snorted out a laugh, and covered her mouth as he attempted to struggle off of the couch. Drunk as fuck.

"Sorry, not a delivery girl. If you wanna pay me though, feel free," She said back, though drunk as he was, she didn't quite know if he'd be able to understand her. Let alone the fact that she was joking.

[Chris Grayson]

"Sorry, not a delivery girl. If you wanna pay me though, feel free.”

Chris frowned at that, his brain working at a slow pace to register her words. Gradually he’d gotten to his feet and walked over, looking down at her.

”No pizza? Shit. You didn’t eat it all did you?” Chris eyes her suspiciously and pointed at her. ”Hey you dun see me running’ ‘round eaten’ other people’s shit. Daz just rude.” He poked her in the shoulder before pausing. “Although I guess you should flush it anyways. You’re weird.

With that brilliant deduction, Chris turned and walked back towards the couch and table. He tried finding another beer but only came up with empty cans. He frowned again and sat down, apparently forgetting his guest.

”I should get more beer. Or maybe those lil bottles of pop. Those would be good. Hey!” He barked, suddenly noticing the girl again and smiling. ”We should go to the grocery stores and get those! You know what I’m talkin’bout. Those things right?” He glared at the empty can in his hand and crushed it. ”They’re better ’n these things. They’re all empty. I think someone stole the beer. Fuck 'em.”

He threw the crumpled can somewhere else and stared at the television for a while before turning his head back to Adrianna. He waved her over with a lazy motion.

”What’re you doin’ over there? C’mon they’re playin’ X-men on the tv!” He turned his attention back to the show. ”Why the hell’re all these lil shits in bright ass customs. It’s like I’m watching some Rainbow Bright shit, but with more action. Daz good. The bright yellow bee guy’s my favorite, I stole his pants.” Chris glared suspiciously at the television before whisper-talking to the girl. ”Dun tell him that. He’d be pissed. I’d be too if someone stole my pants. Cept he put ‘em in a store so I dunno.” Chris blinked a few times before whirling his head to the girl again. "Hey whats yer name? Are you tryin’ta steal my pants?”

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Adrianna's eyes widened a bit as he walked towards her...er rather...stumbled over to her. He was tall and she was forced to look up at him, and yet she wasn't quite intimidated as much as she was worried he'd fall on top of her because she was certain she'd need to use that nifty little power of his in order to keep from being crushed under the weight of him. He was huge and ugh so muscular. Hot as he was, she didn't quite like the way he poked her shoulder and was blaming her for God knows what. She could barely make out what he was trying to say through the slurs and the mushed sentences. It was a good thing she never let herself get this drunk....

She opened her mouth to say something, anything and it snapped shut as he turned to walk back to the couch. What. The. Fuck. All she could do was stand there dumb-founded by the conversation he was having with himself. She'd stolen his pizza, ate it all herself and had to flush it away? Hm. And she was the weird one? Adrian forced herself to keep a straight face or even just to keep from outright laughing. No wonder Cassidy stayed away from drunk people when she was forever the sober one.

His tangents really were fascinating. Pizza, then booze and all of it was nonsense. She was not a goody goody by any means, but something told her that this guy needed cut off. He was fast on his way to passing the hell out or puking everywhere and she was not going to clean him up or tuck him in. His roommates, if he even had any, could worry about that. Or at least one of his friends. It was amazing how no one else was around to keep an eye out for him, he was just drinking himself into a coma.

"Oh honey, if I was trying to steal your pants, I'd like for you to at least be conscious of why I'm doing so..." She shook her head and laughed as she sat beside him. Cassie was going to laugh when she told her all about the craziness coming out of this guy's mouth. "I'm Adrianna Carstyn, Adrian works though. Uh, do you remember your name? Or should I just call you PJ or Wolverine?" Because honestly that's all she could gather from the scene in front of her. He was into the X-men and he was still just in pajama pants. Ugh it was a true test of her self-control and morals. Taking advantage of anyone who was drunk wasn't right, girl or guy. And yet, here he was, sitting there looking all cute and muscly. Hardly fair.

[Chris Grayson]

"Oh honey, if I was trying to steal your pants, I'd like for you to at least be conscious of why I'm doing so…”

Chris eyed her suspiciously for a few moments, but eventually realized she was in fact not making a grab for his beloved pants. He visibly relaxed and put on a smile, glancing back at the television.

"I'm Adrianna Carstyn, Adrian works though. Uh, do you remember your name? Or should I just call you PJ or Wolverine?”

Once again a slight frown creased his lips. He idly scratched his chin, pondering something she’d said.

”Adrianna.” He tested the name before shrugging. ”Nah never heard of you before. Daz a preddy name though. You should keep it.” He nodded to emphasis his advice. ”N’ my name’s Chris. I’m not the yellow bee guy. He’s in the tv.” Chris pointed just in case she couldn’t tell. ”Dunno how he got in there, but hey, he do he looking like a bright ass yello fuckin’ bee.” A snicker escaped Chris and he shook his head. ”He’s also on my pants. Dis fucker’s everywhere man. I ain’t got no clue how he does this shit.”

A few moments passed where Chris just watched the television and smiled faintly. However soon he was frowning a bit again and getting up.

”I dunno where da fuck that goddamn pizza is. It’s been like,” He had to stop and try to think, ”Forever n’ a half.” He turned his head to Adrianna with a slight pout. ”Daz a fuckin’ long ass time Adri. Didn’t you call ‘em? Maybe they got lost?” Suddenly Chris’s eyes widened. ”Adri someone took our pizza! Adri we- we gotta go find our pizza!”

Already Chris was heading for the door intent on finding the whereabouts of this mysterious pizza they’d supposedly ordered. However he paused at the door and looked back at Adrianna.

”Wait what if that’s what they want us to think? Maybe it’s been here the whole time Adri.” Suddenly his eyes were shifting around conspiratorially. ”Adri we gotta find it before ‘em spies find it ’n steal it from us."

With this shakily in mind, Chris returned to the couch and lifted the entire thing up with a hand to search under it with narrowed eyes.

”I dunno Adri I dun think they put it under the couch. Unless goblins ate it or somethin’. But I think I scared those off a while ago.” He sighed and stared forlornly at the floor. "Adri why are people stealin' my food?"

[Adrianna Carstyn]

Alright, alright, cute as he was, this was getting out of hand. He sounded like one of the dumbest people she'd ever encountered, and she was a model, so that had to be saying something. She knew that at least 75% of the reason was because he was drunk off his ass, but even so, all she could make out from his words were curses and swearing. Most people with a low IQ liked to swear incessantly to the point of it becoming every other word. By no means was she miss PC, but even she didn't swear that much. And when she did, it was in the most lady-like and eloquent way......er, yeah.

So here's what she'd gathered, his name was Chris. He had hyper strength and advanced healing (thanks to her ability). He liked X-men, especially Wolverine even though he thought the guy looked like a bee. He drank a lot, loved pizza and is probably a conspiracy theorist. Huh. If nothing else, he was different. Incredibly so. Keeping up with what direction his thoughts were going was next to impossible, one minute it was spies, the next goblins had taken the food. What exactly did she say to this? Did she play along and feed into the conspiracy, or did she try her hand at calming his ass down and seeing if he'd finally just pass out. This guy needed to sleep. And water. Lots of water would be necessary.

She settled for just kinda sitting there and letting him lose his mind for a moment before she patted the couch beside her, "Did you eat it already? Maybe your stomach is the pizza stealer and it tricked you by grumbling like it was still hungry?" Because surely blaming it on his own stomach would bound to make him go a little crazier and perhaps entertain her further. Odds were it was going to be really funny one way or another. She couldn't help herself. Even if he sounded like a dunce cap-wearing toddler, she found herself laughing a lot more than she probably should have been.

[Chris Grayson]

"Did you eat it already? Maybe your stomach is the pizza stealer and it tricked you by grumbling like it was still hungry?”

Chris frowned and slowly put the furniture back down. His mind was slowly processing what Adrianna said and he glared down at his own stomach. He even poked it grumpily.

”Stomach why would ya do that? I thought we were friends. How could you do this to me?”

Huffing, Chris returned to sit down beside Adrianna and flopped onto the couch. There was a slight pout on his face as he glared at the television, but at least he was calm again for the moment. The silence and stillness lasted for around a minute before Chris was on the move again. Luckily this time all he did was curl up on the couch and keep watching the show.

”Adri it feels really late. I dun think I’m ‘spposed to be up this late. IT’s past my bedtime.” He grumbled and curled up further. ”But I dun wanna go to bed yet. I’m not tired."

Even as he said it, Chris yawned and felt his eyes begin to droop. His energy was starting to run out whether her liked it or realized it at all. He yawned once again and glanced over at Adrianna.

”I dun think the food’s coming Adri. I’m sorry.” He apologized, looking genuinely upset with himself. ”I should’ve ordered from dat other pizza shop. I know dey ain’t nearly as bad at deliverin’. ‘M sorry.”

Chris tried rubbing his eyes but they were nearly shut already. He peered at the television for a few more seconds, mumbling mostly to himself before he finally fell asleep.

”Dun let the bumble bee steal my stuff.”