Late Night

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina smiled at his answer, though it didn’t reach her eyes. “Hmm, we should probably work on that one together,” she replied with a wry smirk, “Don’t want to disturb the locals.” Selina looked out in front of her and sighed, her feet automatically taking her where she wanted to go. It wasn’t the first time she’d made this trip and she had the route pretty well memorized, so it gave her time to think and to settle her mind.


    Selina glanced behind her once or twice, but it was more to reassure herself over anything else. She almost rolled her eyes at the idea of always looking over her shoulder once again. She’d been through this before, and she didn’t really have the patience for it. She then kept her eyes focused straight in front of her instead and focused on her breathing to calm her nerves and to soothe the rest of her tension.


    Nico didn’t seem to mind the silence and neither did she. It was nice to walk with someone who didn’t feel the constant need to speak. Besides, she’d had enough excitement for one night, she thought with a smirk. As they got further from the town, fewer cars passed by and there was practically nobody else on the road. The stars were once again visible, and she found her gaze wandering up to the sky more and more often. It was actually quite a lovely night despite everything that had just happened, and her body was finally relaxing the further they got from the main thoroughfare, the tension in her shoulders easing and her walk becoming more natural and a bit slower paced.

[Nico Martell]

Selina's comment drew another laugh from Nico. Yeah, it definitely seemed like they were in the same boat there. Almost made Nico want to start talking in Spanish, if only to further solidify that. His family and friends always did that whenever they wanted to push other people out. Secret language and all that.

But they didn't have anyone to really hide it from, no one who was listening or peering around or anything like that. So it was just move forward, put one foot in front of the other, enjoy the silence and the company and let things be. Nico could almost feel Selina relaxing the further they got away, and the slowed pace was definitely welcome.

Nico nodded ahead, "That looks like the school." This was, of course, after they'd been walking for a while. Though Nico could be off, he didn't think there were that many buildings that were a short distance from town and happened to be less a "building" and more "a group of buildings."

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina nodded at his observation, “Good eyes,” she responded quietly. Selina stared at the school, somewhat reluctant to go back. This walk was doing more to help her than she’d originally thought it would and she knew that once she was alone, she would have to deal with life again. Selina glanced up at Nico and paused. She was honestly unsure of how to word what she was about to say and she needed a minute to think it over. Selina took a deep breath to prepare herself and decided to just go with it, “Do you… Could you-?” she started before stopping completely. Selina then shook her head and started walking again. “I'm sorry. Never mind.” She couldn't do it.


    How hard was it to ask someone to stay with her for the night? She’d had one night stands many times before, how was this any different? Selina knew this wouldn’t be anything like a one night stand though. She didn’t want to have sex with him, for one thing. Well, part of her did as he was incredibly attractive, but that wasn’t the only reason why she wanted him to be there. What Selina really wanted was to not be alone. She wanted somebody with her so she wouldn't get lost in her own mind again. However, admitting that would be admitting weakness to a stranger, and she couldn’t quite force herself to do it. It was also asking a lot from a man she'd just met.


    Besides, she had to face herself sooner or later. She’d done it so many times before. She would be fine. Sure you will, came the sarcastic side of her that she forced herself to ignore. She would be totally fine. Selina felt the tension returning to her the more she thought of returning to the school but this time, instead of speeding up her pace, she slowed a bit further. She forced herself to keep going though. She would be fine.

[Nico Martell]

Nico nodded, taking a few more steps forward. Then he paused, looking to Selina, wondering. She again seemed to be thinking something, and sure enough, she sputtered out a few more words. Nico raised a brow, not sure what was going on there, only having some loose idea of what she could possibly want. She did seem out of it, that much was certain, and he couldn't say he blamed her overmuch. Though, well, she also seemed like the sort who'd gone through this sort of thing before. So what about tonight had made her this disheveled?

Well, maybe she wasn't as strong as Nico had thought. Or maybe something happened which just triggered something that he didn't understand. Wasn't like he knew her life story, after all. He turned and looked away, wondering.

"We could hang out for a while," he offered, adding a shrug. "I don't have anything better to do." There, an offer, and he had a feeling like that was what she was sort of looking for though, well, he still couldn't say for certain.

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina was grateful he’d offered and she smiled at him, “If it’s alright with you, actually yes,” she answered honestly. She wasn’t exactly comfortable talking to him about it out in the open, though she did feel like he deserved an explanation. “Umm, so my place? Yours? Coffee shop?” she asked, wondering where he would be most comfortable. She was flexible with anything since she was the one being selfish here.


    Normally she would have gone home and dealt with whatever repercussions, but tonight… tonight was the worst things had been in a while, and if she had the option to delay or mitigate the consequences of her previous actions, she was going to take it. Though Selina had been through similar situations, she’d never built up a good enough defense against them. Every time it happened, it shook her up almost as badly as it had the first time. The only improvement she’d truly made was in being able to hide her reactions better. At least, until she was alone where no one else could see her.


    Maybe if she held out long enough this time, the emotions would just pass her by. She doubted it, but there was hope to be had in warding off the worst of it. Selina was strong in continuing despite her fear, pain, and anger, but she wasn’t strong enough to void off the mental agony of their initial onslaught, which is what she feared would happen should she go back to her room alone.

[Nico Martell]

Okay, so she definitely needed someone to talk with or just sit with her. Nico knew what that was like, though he'd never been one to really feel it himself. How many times had a sibling or a friend just insisted that he sit there and listen? It happened all too often, especially with those who had just done something "necessary."

Was that what this was? Nico couldn't say for sure. He didn't feel like it was his place to ask or judge. No, it was his place to answer the question. He took a few moments to consider. The lower part of him was tempted to mention a "place," either his or hers. The chances for something... physical to happen were drastically increased there. And it had been a while: just the farewell he'd gotten back in Canada.

But it still felt wrong, especially all things considered. So instead Nico let out a low breath, looking around. "is there even a coffee shop open around here?" He looked back to Selina. After all: she was the local expert, not him.

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina thought about it for a second before shrugging, “The Academy has a cafeteria that has coffee, which is close enough.” She’d been trying for somewhere neutral and hadn’t truly been thinking about what she was saying.


    Selina couldn’t quite help the smirk that crossed her features as she looked up at him, “Not the type to take advantage of a damsel in distress?” she asked with a wry grin. Honestly, she felt more respect for him for his decision. Part of her had wanted him to choose a dorm. Part of her wanted to get lost in the physical and not think about anything, but the slightly more rational side of her knew she would probably regret it in the morning.


    She wouldn’t regret the physical aspect, so much as the fact that she would have been using him. While there were certain people she didn’t mind using in the slightest, she didn’t want to do that to Nico. Selina would examine her reasons for that later.

[Nico Martell]

Nico nodded. He did seem to recall seeing the cafeteria had some coffee and whatnot. And he certainly didn't see any issue with going and finding the stuff on his own. Wasn't like it would be the most illegal thing they did tonight, after getting into a tussle with locals and breaking locks.

Her next comment had him smiling, smiling and shrugging. "You seem like the type who'd kick my ass or never talk to me again if you did something you regretted. Rather wait," simple as that. Sex could complicate things, even if it was sometimes as easy as putting the right things in the right holes. Of course, that wasn't stopping his body from reacting in just all the right ways about then. He might end up with a cold shower or something, especially if she kept teasing him.

So now he was starting to get a bit tense. Not that it really showed that much with him. He simply walked forward, knowing more or less where the cafeteria was. He didn't seem to quite notice that he'd walked through a partially open gate until he was on the other side though.

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina laughed and followed him through the now opened gate, feeling slightly better already. “Perhaps,” she agreed lightly, “though it would be a pity to cause injury to such a fine ass,” she joked as she made her way to the side door that was almost always left unlocked. This was certainly not her first late-night visit to scrounge for food and drink. Selina pushed it open and glanced inside, happy to find no one else there. She hadn’t expected to see any students since it was well past the time the cafeteria officially locked down, but she’d wondered if the cleaning staff might give them trouble.


    Selina then made her way over to the coffee pot and opened the top, finding old coffee in the filter. She pulled up the filter and threw it in the trash before looking for something new. She knew she was stalling and deliberately busying herself, but talking to people wasn’t really her strength. “Any preference?” she asked as she found some plain dark and light roast ground coffee. Keeping the conversation shallow for now had its benefits anyway. She didn’t want to scare him away.


    Selina knew she wouldn’t hold out too much longer, but her pride was still in full force and she couldn’t find it within herself to willingly confide in him, even if she’d been brave and/or selfish enough to accept his offer. And so far, her act had been maintained fairly well. Her hands didn’t even shake enough to spill the water when she poured about six cups worth into the machine. She placed the water carafe down a little harsher than necessary, but still, she was doing pretty well.

[Nico Martell]

Nico actually lifted his brows in surprise at Selina's comment. Had she just... complimented him on his ass? That was a new one. Usually it was the eyes or the hair, if anything. Well, maybe she was just an ass-woman? Definitely not something he wanted to think about right now, what with his earlier comments and all.

Instead he kept moving, heading after her, entering the cafeteria easily enough. Hell, he probably could have walked straight through the door like he had the gate. He didn't, but he bet that he probably could have if he'd really wanted to. He ended up walking over to a counter to sit while Selina moved around getting the coffee together.

In truth Nico fashion, he merely shrugged when she asked him for preference. "No crap in it?" he offered, figuring that would at least be something. He kept watching her while she moved around, and he swore he could still see something uneasy in her movements. It wast he same sort of look people had before they did stupid shit back home. Nico licked his lips, wondering if he should try to help or say something or do something.

Something told him that just sitting there, being willing to be there, would be enough for now. So that was what he did.

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina grinned at his resposne and measured out the dark roast. It was closer to what she was used to back home. She spilled some, but she didn’t care too much. When the coffee was finally brewing she sat on the counter a few feet from him. Enough distance to be comfortable while still being able to draw some solace and strength from his presence. She was silent for a while, merely staring straight ahead and listening to the coffee drip. Selina then finally sighed and gripped the counter with both hands to steady herself, “I’m sorry-” she started quietly before stopping and staring down at the floor.


    “I think… I just,” Selina sighed in frustration unsure of what she really wanted to say, “If I were alone right now, I think I’d be breaking down,” she admitted slowly. Starting in the present seemed like the easiest option, “It’s not like I haven’t experienced shit like that before, it’s just that… his hands-” she shuddered slightly, her grip on the counter turning her knuckles white, “I honestly don’t know what I fear more… when I'll see in it my dreams or when it’ll happen again.” Her waking dreams were just as bad as her nightmares and both were going to get worse after tonight... at least for a while.  


    How many more times would it take before they stopped or before she snapped? She wasn’t sure.

[Nico Martell]

Nico kept watch on Selina, watching, waiting, wondering if there was anything he really could say or do here. He almost saw the slight breakdown before it happened. Then it did, and Nico found himself again standing there, still, watching as Selina went through something and not quite sure what he should be doing or saying.

She kept talking, admitting that she'd break down. Nico raised a hand up to brush back some of his hair at that, nodding, knowing it. "You never know what'll trigger it, the memories, the crap," he said, adding a slight shrug. For all he knew, she'd gone through worse than he had. It was entirely possible. He'd had it rough, to be sure, rougher than most, but he still didn't know fuckall about what Selina had gone through before tonight. And she'd attacked some redneck and done who knows what.

"Look, I'm not---I'm not someone who can stand here and tell you the right answer or some shit," Nico said, taking a step forward, "but, hell, I'm here if you need someone to talk to or something," should he be offering to sleep with her? Did, like, she literally need someone to do that? Because that really sounded like something out of a porno or something, except usually the girls in pornos didn't look like they were about to start crying if things got hot and heavy.

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina paused and nodded at his comment, “I know. That’s what gets to me. I never know whether I’m going to be fine or end up in the fetal position on the floor and waiting for it to end,” she admitted in a soft voice. She was opening up to him… but why? Selina paused and felt her mental armor start slipping back into place. She took a deep breath to calm and collect herself as she drew on whatever determination she had left.


    Selina then glanced up at him, making eye-contact, “I know. I don’t expect you to have answers. Honestly. I just needed someone to listen for a bit, so thank you.” Answers were what she had to provide for herself. She wouldn’t find them in him or in a book or in a therapist’s office. She’d known that since high school. Talking even this little bit with him had helped her to regain that perspective though and for tonight, it would have to be enough.


    The coffee finished brewing and she poured the both of them a cup before handing one to him. “I’m sorry for having asked this of you. It wasn’t fair to you, especially considering the fact that we’ve just met.” Selina took a sip of the bitter coffee and grimaced at the heat. “Thank you for coming here with me. You’ve been more than generous.” Selina could almost physically feel the distance she’d forced between them, but she felt like it was the best way to say goodbye. She didn’t want him to feel awkward about tonight.

[Nico Martell]

Never know, yeah, that did sound familiar. Though at least Nico hadn't experienced quite that much trauma. There were times when he sometimes swore he could still see bars on the windows or something, but he knew that was just his imagination. No, he'd managed to pull out before anything truly awful could have happened, which made him luckier than some.

Apparently it made him luckier than Selina. He could almost feel it when she locked eyes with him. No answers, good. He nodded as she ended, again wanting to reassert his willingness to be a bent ear to listen to. He could understand that. It was part of why so many of his friends and family back home had talked to him and others. You talked to people who could be quiet or you talked to priests. Nico was a great example of the former, and since the latter wasn't always around...

the coffee finished. Nico took the offered cup. he took a sip. Then he shrugged. He didn't want to prolong it, act like it had been anything major, even though he had a feeling that on some level it kind of was. He, too, could feel the distance, but he didn't mind. He'd tried to put some there himself. They weren't in a bedroom, after all.

Nico took another sip. "Coffee's not bad," he commented, looking up, meeting her eyes again.

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina wasn’t the type to measure her trauma against someone else’s in terms of being any more or less/better or worse. She’d learned from a young age that each and every person had their own battles and that each person dealt with it differently. Her own mother dealt with things she could barely imagine just as she’d dealt with things that her mother had struggles comprehending. Empathy was all that could connect the two on occasion, but they still had a bond that was stronger than anything else Selina had experienced.


    She took another sip of coffee and nodded, “Yeah, not bad at all,” she agreed with a small smile, not able to hold his gaze for long. Selina felt surprisingly calmed down and somewhat tired. It had been a long and trying day both mentally and physically, but at least she wouldn’t be trapped in her own mind until dawn. She’d probably still be awake for a while, but she had hopes of gaining a couple hours of sleep which was a marked improvement over none. “Hasta la próxima,” she offered as she finished her coffee and turned to leave.