Holding On For Dear Life

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

"I'm still trying to figure that out," Zoe admitted, smiling shyly as she looked over the pictures. "I do this sometimes," she extended her fingers, hand outstretched over the photographs, "I spread them out and see if I can start noticing things, little patterns or connections or something." she lowered the hand, flushing, "Not, um, not everything is decided ahead of time."

Zoe flushed and rubbed at her arm again, looking over at Alice. The mention of being watched while working just made Zoe feel all the more squirmy. Though she knew full well that she was a different person when cameras and poetry were involved. Something about the art let that tethered part of her soul just run free for a few moments.

Of course Alice wanted Zoe to elaborate. Zoe licked her lips. Should she just tell Alice that she wanted to include her in a special part of her show? Or should she wait till she could show it to Alice personally? The answer would wait, as DL continued to cause problems.

"She always does get in trouble," Zoe said, taking the phone and reading through, moving to lean against a table as she did. As she read, Zoe realized something: "This must be what Liz was talking about," she pulled her own phone out, scrolling to her text history. "She texted me a little while ago, saying that something was quite off with Devyn," she held out her own phone to show the history. "It sounded quite bad and..." Zoe paused, shifting again, "and I was thinking that maybe I should try to... talk with her? Liz and Beau seemed to think it's a good idea and, well, if she's this bad off, Alice, I might... I feel like I should at least try..." though Zoe felt she already knew Alice's response: you can do what you want; I'm not in control of your actions

[Alice Hobbs]

"That makes sense," Alice nodded. People seemed to find that to be an easy way to wrap your head around something. Not only with art, but with plenty of things. It was often to see the endgame when trying to look at the whole picture instead of something piece by piece. "Yeah," she nodded again, looking at the girl as she smiled. "Well, whatever you come up with, I'm sure it will be grand."

Looking at the history as Zoe showed her, Alice skimmed it before drawing her breath, sighing. Listening to the words Zoe spoke, it almost amazed the brunette how truly good and gentle Zoe was. There was no ounce of evil in her. It was almost breath taking, and to think that Alice only months before had truly believe that everyone was cruel and selfish, and then there was Zoe. Zoe who did nothing bad to further herself. "Zoe," she spoke, looking at the girl. "You don't need my permission to talk to her," she spoke calmly. "It's not my decision to make, and you know I'll support you no matter what you pick."

Though, she had to admit that it was at the very least nice that Zoe considered her feelings in this, and despite being the one who practically started the internet fight, Alice had no business sticking her nose into this. It wasn't about her. "This is between you and Devyn, and I am sorry for sticking my nose into that, but you should do what you feel is right, and not whatever you think I want you to."

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe smiled, feeling warm at hearing more of that confidence spoken about her. It always felt so good, so uplifting, hearing those words and knowing that people, especially Alice-people, believed in her and what she could do. Zoe took another deep breath, nodding assuredly.

The words that came next were that much easier. Zoe had also expected that response, and she smiled, reaching out to take her girlfriend's hand. "I knew you'd say that: but I don't want to do this behind your back. I love you now, not her," she gave the hand a squeeze, "and it's unfair of me to not at least include you in that. I won't go behind your back," she gave the hand another squeeze, then leaned forward.

"Also, you don't need to apologize: it's lovely that you..." she flushed, "that you did that, really. That you care," she bit her lip, lowering her eyes slightly, the next coming out so very British and sprightly: "It's quite attractive, actually."

[Alice Hobbs]

As Zoe took her hand, Alice made the move to let their fingers interlock. Smiling, she chuckled softly; Of course Zoe had expected it. It seemed as if Alice became less of a mystery the more they spent time together. It was probably for the best though. And it also felt rather nice, having someone know you that well. "I know," she said, smiling more as she lifted her free hand, caressing Zoe's jawline. "And I appreciate that about you, too." Despite the fact that Zoe didn't have to, Alice still appreciate the fact that she had.

Quirking her brow, Alice lowered the hand on Zoe's jaw to her shoulder, then slowly down her arm. "Well, even so, don't expect it to happen every time," she spoke, pursing her lips. "I do care about you, but I'm not going to make it a habit to stick my nose into things where it does not belong." Sighing, the brunette shook her head. "Though, when it comes to you, I seem unable to help myself."

And in a way, Alice didn't want Zoe to depend on her like that. She didn't want to be Zoe's knight in shining armor when she knew she needed to give her the space and time to be that for herself. But it was apparent that Zoe's ex didn't quite get the picture, which in turn probably hurt Zoe even more, and Alice didn't want to stand idly by and watch that happen.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

The hand went up to Zoe's jaw,and she nearly shivered. It always felt so strange, being touched by Alice, knowing that the other girl could actually feel her skin again. No one else could manage: just that brief touch of flesh upon Zoe would cause the tingling numbness. Not with Alice though; she was Zoe's exception. Zoe smiled, both at that thought and Alice's words.

The brow and the touch to her shoulder were also somewhat expected. Zoe nodded at Alice's words. "I don't expect you to," she was already saying, nearly talking over Alice's other words. Zoe bit her lip, lowering her eyes for a moment. She waited till she was certain that Alice had finished, then pulled her head back up, looking her girlfriend in the eyes. "How about we just promise to do what feels natural?" she suggested. A hand went to caress Alice's again, and Zoe smiled up at her girlfriend, that love visible in those eyes again.

Zoe waited a few more moments before looking. "Um, did you maybe want to see another one of my projects or something? I do want to take you to the show sometime, ah," Zoe flushed slightly, "before it, um, formally opens, that is..."

[Alice Hobbs]

"That sounds perfect," Alice smiled and confirmed with a nod. Leaning slightly forward, Alice brushed her lips against Zoe's before smiling. At least, Alice didn't have to worry too much about her bluntness taking control, and making her do or say things she normally didn't think she would. Like for example her comment in DL's blog; it was something Alice once thought she'd never do, but yet, here she was, having done that exact thing. It never ceased to amaze her, just how much affect the beautiful girl before her had on her.

Then again, she didn't really think she minded. At first, it had scared her, but now? Now it felt really good, having someone that special.

Pulling back ever so slightly, Alice nodded. "I'd love to," she replied, her smile widening. "Though, I hardly need to tell you that, do I? After all, I am your biggest fan," she winked. Though, more so for Zoe as a person, rather than her work, but the two came hand in hand. 

"Now?" she added, furrowing her brows slightly as she looked around the room before resting her gaze upon the magnificent being before her. "Or do I have to wait, and bask in the glory of anticipation?" She was actually rather curious about Zoe's work, even though she wasn't very good at expressing it - like everything when it came to Alice.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Just a brush of the lips, the gentlest touch without the demand for more. Zoe nearly sighed at that, glad that they could just express themselves in the little gestures. She reached for one of Alice's hands, entwining their fingers and giving them a gentle squeeze. More smiles, more nods, and then Alice was pulling back and looking.

Zoe let out a little giggle, knowing that she'd heard comments like that before. She was already moving toward where she'd started laying out some project,s pausing to turn back. "What, you mean the show pieces?" Zoe flushed, biting her lip. "They're, um, in town. I have to do a few last minute finalizations, but they're due to open up any time now. I figured we could go out and take a look one of these weekends..." she hesitated for a moment, as if realizing that she'd just more or less assumed that they'd be spending one of their dates looking at her own work.

Zoe shuffled a little closer to the photographs, ready to start pointing at them to distract if need be.

[Alice Hobbs]

A little disappointed she couldn't see them right away, Alice nodded. "I see," she said, pursing her lips. The smile was however quick to return though. "Well, either way, I'm excited," she replied, as if promising. As much as she hated waiting, she at least had something good to wait for.

When Zoe moved towards the pictures, Alice followed. Positioning herself behind the smaller girl, Alice wrapped her arms around her slender frame and leaned her cheek on top of Zoe's shoulder. "Alright, Miss Wallerstein-Smythe, show me the wonders of the world," she spoke, her voice low, almost nothing more than a whisper. Although sounding like a broken record at this point, just standing here, like this with her girlfriend was such a wonderful feeling, and only months before, Alice had never thought it possible that she out of all the people would ever find something like this.

Maybe it was short-lived, and maybe it wouldn't last for a very long time, but Alice would be damned if she didn't enjoy every second of it, because she could really see herself opening up completely and learning how to express the feelings she had swirling about at the pit of her stomach. Feelings she didn't quite know how to word yet.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe smiled a little nervously as Alice pursed her lips. She was sincerely hoping that Alice would appreciate what she had in mind. Just thinking about it made her nervous. Alice would, of course, say she loved it, but Zoe wanted her to love it, and to be comfortable with it.

But for now: the photos. Zoe flushed again as Alice wrapped her arms around her body, pulling her close. It also felt strange hearing her whole name said like that: so few people bothered with the mouthful which was her given name. Zoe swallowed, forcing herself to reach down and spread out a few photos that she'd had lain out. It felt almost as if they'd spoil the mood, given their subject matter but, well, Zoe did want to share.

"The school actually asked me to take photographs of the damage after the fire," she said, keeping her voice soft. She ran her fingers over the images, showing the various portions of the school destroyed. The smoldering, blackened heap of the arena, some shots even with curls of smoke going up (taken right before Zoe had panicked and looked for Alice of course). A few shots of the flame scorched floors of the library, taken right before things had been fixed. Other shots of students looking stunned.

"I'm working on a project, something to draw attention to the hatred," she said, swallowing, looking over her shoulder and smiling. "Sorry, it's, ah, not very romantic..."

[Alice Hobbs]

Alice's brows furrowed as she studied the photos. Although her memory of that night was rather foggy, it still brought some less than comfortable feelings. Luckily, Alice's injuries hadn't been nearly as bad as they could have been; a twisted ankle, a small cut to the head and she had injured her wing, which luckily, the doctors had managed to fix. She had almost been a little afraid that her wings would be damaged forever, but they seemed to be healing nicely. And from looking at the damage... Well, it could have gone much, much worse hadn't Zoe found her.

Reaching out a hand, Alice held up one of the pictures of the arena. "The hatred..." she repeated, nodding sagely as a faint sigh escaped her lips. "The hatred towards whom, though?" She put the picture down again and let her brown eyes grace over the other pictures for a moment. "Don't take me wrong; these are great," she began and gestured towards the images. "But for someone who seems so... intent on not hating, this is a little surprising."

Moving to the side, Alice turned to properly face the girl. "And I don't know how well it will be received, considering that..." she stopped, shaking her head. People had died, and others had gotten hurt. It had been a traumatic experience for so many, and Alice wondered if it was such a good idea to bring all that up again.  

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe paused, listening to the repetition, remembering that Alice had been part of this, had been hurt. It had been light, thankfully, light enough that some wouldn't think that anything had really happened. A few people had died though, and Zoe knew that Tim was stuck in a wheelchair, and that others were in similar conditions. She made a note to try and see him, see if she could help or something.

"Toward us, I suppose," she said, looking, "or just... make people aware of it. If we're aware of it, if we feel it, we can start to fight against it, to overcome it. We rallied then," she nodded, tapping the photos. "I have some of the relief effort too. It's still... I'm just doing it for class, really. I probably won't do anything with this, considering..." she flushed, feeling like she'd stepped out of line. It just felt like something that needed to be addressed, for people to be made aware of for... for something.

"Sorry, I probably shouldn't have shown you," she said, chewing at her inner cheek. "I just... well, um, the good one is already at the show and..."

[Alice Hobbs]

Again, Alice nodded at Zoe's words; She understood the intent, and she understood that yes, it probably was important to address the issue, but Alice couldn't help but feeling as if it was too soon. "Well, at least your heart's in the right place," Alice smiled. "I suppose you do make a great point though." After all, keeping it locked up wouldn't help anyone either. And at the very least, Zoe dared to address it, while so many seemed to pretend it hadn't happened at all. As if it didn't matter, because, clearly it did.

"No, it's fine," Alice said, shaking her head. "Thank you for the tragedy. I need it for my art," she said, tapping her cheek. "Kurt Cobain said that, I think." Shifting slightly, Alice looked towards the photos again. "Don't take my word on this. You know I'm a living, breathing cynic." Or at least, she used to be. Before Zoe. Before everything.

"You should do what your guts tell you to do. After all, you have to be forward if you want to succeed in this world." And Alice truly believed that Zoe could make a difference with her art, and the message that came with it. That wasn't as much a question as a fact.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe flushed, again feeling like Alice was just being nice. Yes, this might be something she needed to wait for, maybe. Or maybe she should ask around? See what people thought? It just felt like she should do something about it, before it got twisted into something dark and evil. Point light at it and help it get healed.

"Kurt who?" Zoe repeated, blinking and looking at her girlfriend. The quote did sound sort of poignant, and she wondered if this Cobain was a poet that she hadn't heard of before. Maybe she'd go looking for them later. She smiled at the cynic thing, leaning back to give Alice a peck on the cheek. "You're not that cynical," she insisted, giving the hand another squeeze.

Then she looked back at the project, at the pictures. "It's just... I don't want people to feel alone in their hurt, or to think that it can't be healed. I just... I remember what it's like, when people hate you and you feel alone," she touched one of the pictures as if she could still hear the screams, remembering the awful that had happened. "Sorry, I, um," she looked back at Alice, "I can be a little... maudlin, at times,' she flushed again. She wasn't quite as bad as she used to be about it, but that part of her still lay nestled in the back.

[Alice Hobbs]

Laughing at Zoe's comment, she wasn't too surprised the girl didn't know the guy. "He was a musician. He died before either of us was born," she explained, shrugging slightly. "It doesn't matter." The quote however, was rather fitting, in a tragic kind of way. Though, art seemed to be born from tragedy often enough, and it was a nice way to express emotions, even though Alice had no artistic talents whatsoever; If you didn't count dancing and gymnastics, of course. Chuckling, Alice pursed her lips, offering Zoe a wry smile. "You got to see me on my best," she teased.

"Isn't there better ways to do that than hanging up pictures as a reminder of that night? Like, I understand what you want to do, but I'm not sure how well it's going to be taken." She furrowed her brows again, looking down at the pictures. "I think... I think it's too raw. Too honest." But then again, Alice wasn't exactly the right person to ask. "At the very least... Ask the people involved, you know?"

Sighing, Alice placed her hand on Zoe's shoulder. "Again; you should do what feels right to you. Whatever you decide, you know I'm going to support you. Just be aware that this--" she gestured at the photos. "--might backlash."

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Oh, a musician. Zoe couldn't help but wonder if she'd like his music or something. She made a mental note to check him out later. She just nodded at that, wanting to focus more on her pictures. It seemed as though Alice did too, to some degree. She pointed out what Zoe was afraid of, the negative aspect.

"It's not... I'm not just putting up the photos," Zoe argued, again reaching for them, shuffling them slightly. "it's... it's about telling the story, letting people see and remember and... and I'd probably put some poems on them too, to... to situate them," she flushed, nodding. "I usually ask anyone before I put up their pictures, though this is, um, more general..."

Zoe fidgeted again, looking at the photos. She could feel Alice's hand on her shoulder, and it did calm her somewhat, as did the words. "I don't want to hurt anyone... I'll just, um, just submit it for class and work on something else,' She ran her hands along the photos, already hoping that she could come across something else. she'd tried really hard at getting these images to be just right, so many hours of work. Well, she should've known better, should've thought more about other people or something.