Joey Stone

[Joey Stone]

NAME: Joey Simon, Stone
NICKNAME: Prefers to be called Joe as oppose to Joey. Seriously don’t call him Joey.
AGE: 53
GENDER: Male
ORIENTATION: In closet homosexual
POSITION: Bellefonte Janitor
FACE CLAIM: Brendan Gleeson


POWER:
Name of Power Zoolingulism
Joey has the ability to understand and communicate with members of the animal kingdom, Basically it’s an ability that works along the same way as mind reading. Joey can latch upon the brainwaves of animals and his brain just naturally interpreted an animals squeaks and squawks as coherent English. This is a two way flow as like Joe, they can also pick up on his brainwaves and translate his words into a language they can understand

Limitations

-For whatever the reason, Joe’s powers only seem effective when he’s around a certain type of animal. Namely ducks, if he tries to communicate with any other animal EG: A dog or cat. It would be totally useless.
-Ducks tend to be particularly dumb creatures and not the most conversational creatures so the “conversations” he has with them are hardly something to write home about.
-He can only communicate with animals (Or ducks in his case) within touching distance.
-He can only communicate with ducks about 10 meters in front of him
-Just because he can speak to ducks, doesn’t necessarily mean that he can control them in fact they seem, to take great joy in doing the opposite of what he asked and they tend to argue with him a lot

Side-Effects
-Sometimes without realizing it he punctuates his speech with random “Quaking” sounds, he does this seemingly on instinct and unaware it’s happening
-To those without the ability to intrepid animal noises and thoughts as speech it seems like Joe is just screaming “QUACK” over and over again
-After using his powers he tends to be the victim of quite a powerful migraine 
-After a long conversation he becomes tired and drained, feeling the need to recharge his batteries  





I try and get out of bed before the wife wakes up. She’ed like to stay in bed all day but I just can’t do it. The idea turns my stomach. I usually head downstairs and think about how I ended up here. I find it’s a good way to stay focused. I go through my usual morning routine of brushing my teeth staring into the mirror and seeing an overweight, middle aged man with brown eyes and light brown short hair neatly parted hair staring back at me. Most days I change into my dark brown jumpsuit bearing my name tag Then I make breakfast. Scrambled eggs. I find it very therapeutic. Not a lot of people know this but the trick to good scrambled eggs. Isn’t to do with the butter or cream. It’s all down to your scrambling technique. I like to use a fork and zone out. I see them in the bowl, rising up. Whole bodies turn to faces and faces turn to eye sockets. I jab my fork into the york and twist until the yellow breaks and bleeds out. I grind and dig and I reach for the back of the eye sockets, the mental tin of the body screaming against my fork ‘Stop it! Stop it! About 20 minutes usually does it

Then I read the newspapers. I know it’s childish but I skip straight to the cartoons at the back. My favourite is the cat. He’s so irresponsible and lazy. He has me in hysterics. What I find so funny is that his master doesn’t do anything! I’d buy another cat. And then chop off his head and put it on a spike on the kitchen table just to warn him about the consequences of touching my lasagne. That’s MY lasagne. No else can have some but me.

Then my wife comes downstairs in her dressing gown. So I go outside and do some gardening. I haven’t planted much. I just enjoy pulling out the weeds. They say you should talk to your plants, so do I. I threaten every weed just before I rip them from the earth’s embrace. It’s quite exhausting, coming up with new threats. But I find it very rewarding. I always carry a notebook just in case I come up with a good one I can use in the week ahead“I’m going to send your unborn daughter a tampon box full of your severed fingers to celebrate her first period.’ I think I said that to a dandelion.

Around four, I head out for a walk in the park opposite up. There’s a pond. I find ponds very soothing. Tranquil. Until the ducks come along.

I hate ducks.

I’ve always hated them ever since I manifested: I was 11 years old, I was on a school trip to the local zoo and we were giving the “Treat” of feeding the ducks with bread (They are a greedy butch of pricks when it comes to bread. If I had it my way I would pick thousands of thousands of tiny little spiders eggs in them and when they hatch they’ll eat the ducks inside out. Slowly, painfully. The thought amuses me) and this one duck sidled up to me and asked me for more bread. At first I thought I was hearing things. I hear voices in my head quite a lot telling me to…do things but I just drown them out by singing loudly to myself. So I just went with it and told the duck that I didn’t have any. We got into this whole arguing. I was screaming he was screaming so I did the natural thing that anyone would do. I jumped into the pond and tried to wring that little shit’s neck. Apparently claiming to hear that ducks talking to me and trying to assault them was considered “Mentally abnormal” I got called into the principals office, words were exchanged. My parents were called in, Apparently I already had a reputation for beating up several kids and being “Unhinged” So I was suspended from school fortunately the next day a man came to my house to talk to my parents about a special school… 40 years later I’m still there.

Back at the house and my wife had made diner. We have a funny routine that we do most weeks. She tells me she could see me standing next to the pond and she asks me what I was laughing about and I say “…Nothing” Then we eat in silence. I usually think about my work. I like steak because they are an implicitly violent meal. My wife hates it when I imagine my food screaming.
After that I go for a walk. On my own. To nowhere. Absolutely nowhere. Sometimes with my guitar. Not to play it or anything. Just to walk with it. Sometimes my wife tries to follow me but I always catch her. Those times I walk to somewhere else apart from nowhere. Nowhere is just for me. It’s my time





SAMPLE: Naaa…

USERNAME: Robbo

AGE GROUP: 21

EXPERIENCE: 2/3 years? Something like that

WHERE DID YOU FIND US? The outer reaches of your mind[/blockquote]Template made by MEL, inspired by NU

[Mel *]

I ALWAYS KNEW MY HEART WAS YOURS TO TAKE,
AND NOT MINE TO GIVE AWAAAAYYY~
You know what to do ^^