I'm Not Dead

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Thanks wasn't exactly what Zoe had hoped for, but it certainly wasn't the most dreaded reaction she could have had. She smiled, her lips as wobbly as the rest of her. A hand lightly touched her cheek and it took all Zoe had not to flinch away. She clearly struggled, forcing herself to stay in place and let Devyn touch her. It didn't help that even that light caress felt good, almost too good.

As Devyn spoke, Zoe shook her head, "I wanted--" she tried, her voice catching as her dry, tight throat strangled the word. Didn't Devyn get it? Zoe loved her. Doing things like this for the person you loved, that was just part of it. Yes, Zoe had forced herself to do it, had then forced herself to stay still, but she did it willingly, because she wanted to do it for Devyn. You did that; it was how these things worked. Even Zoe, who had nothing but broken relationships to work with, knew that much.

Devyn pulled Zoe close and again Zoe curled against her. She reached across and pulled Devyn against her. They could do this, they should do this. Zoe took another breath, feeling her body beginning to calm itself again. Really do like; Zoe heard those words and she closed her eyes, feeling like a silly little girl. What had she been expecting? That she'd kiss Devyn, music swelling about them, and the other girl would declare her love for Zoe? It didn't work like that. Zoe took a deep breath, telling herself that she needed to be happy to have this. She loved Devyn; it didn't matter that Devyn didn't love her back.

It didn't matter.
It really didn't.

"My hands feel weird," murmured Zoe. She raised them, wincing as she saw her wrinkled fingers inside the gloves. That definitely did not look good. Zoe opened and closed her hand, almost feeling her skin protest. If only she could take them off, but then what? She supposed she could wrap her hands in bandages or something...

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn wanted to say more, but for once she was the one feeling all nervous, shy, and not sure how to form words. It was because she was trying to not be herself. Hold back from the things she normally wanted to say for the sake of Zoe. She didn’t know what was safe anymore. What was alright to say? What was too soon to say? She didn’t want to make Zoe cry. No more crying for a least a little. Devyn smiled a little more wither way at seeing Zoe not move from her touch. Zoe was pushing herself clearly, fighting against what she was wanting to do. Giving herself to Devyn basically, adding to the proof that Zoe's love for Devyn was something different. She still did not want to think about it, not believe it. Denial was safe for now; she liked pretending that it was not really that Zoe loved her that way, not yet. If Zoe ended up loving her it would be bad. Devyn's needs, wants, expectations. Zoe would have to change herself so much and push herself past what she might have been comfortable with.

She wanted too...but there is more. Devyn thought when Zoe went to say something but seemed to stop herself. What else was there? Was Zoe going to say more or just struggling to form words because she needed something to drink. It was nice to feel Zoe curl up next to her and her body moved a little at Zoe trying to pull her but it was more so Zoe pulling herself against her. I'm such a dog. Devyn thought to herself as she felt an urge. She still wanted Zoe, that desire, need, and want still had not been satisfied, and it might never be after what happened. Not that Devyn was going to be why it didn’t happen, it would be Zoe or Devyn pushing the limits until Zoe gave in again. She reached a hand into her hair and pulled on it a little. Feeling herself become conflicted again and trying to keep herself in check.

"They do?" Zoe's words had been enough to break Devyn's mind from wanting to split as she let go of her hair, hand reaching out for Zoe's gloved hand, wanting to pull it off. "You need to take them off Zoe. Wash your hands off and get a drink while you are at it." Devyn said in more or less an ordering tone. Again, if Zoe was not going to do it, Devyn was, even if she had to rip the gloves off with her teeth. "What can I do?" Devyn asked, feeling useless again, there had to be something. Arg! My head! Devyn's head was starting to hurt more as she still was conflicted, the shadows in the rooms moving a little. She needed to get all of her emotions under control before she would end up accidently forcing a change.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe couldn't help but jerk her hand away as Devyn reached. She held still for a moment, looking very much like a frightened prey animal, and it was altogether likely that Devyn would pick up on that. She closed her hand for a moment, took a deep breath, and then released it. She stretched out her fingers to get a good grip on the glove and began peeling it away from her. She winced as she felt it stick to her skin. She really needed to take a break from gloves; she usually dipped her hands in ointment or something.

"Just wait," she said, turning and gently pushing against Devyn, getting her to lay back down. "I'll be fine," she might just at that, assuming she actually got sleep and some water soon. She smiled at her girlfriend, then took a deep breath. Her hands actually hurt with the motion, further proof that she'd need to do something. She flushed, looking at Devyn. She wanted to do something, right? That might work. "Um, if you really want, I could," she blushed, "maybe get some ointment for my hands and you could, um," she fidgeted, "yeah, it's stupid, I'm sorry, I'm not thinking very clearly."

Zoe turned, taking a few steps away and looking around. She needed something for her hands, and she still remembered that Devyn wanted food. The problem was that Zoe kept trying to do both at once, taking a few steps toward the fridge and then zig-zagging toward the drugs and then back again.

"Um," she bit her lip and turned, flushing as she looked to Devyn, "did you still need that food? I could probably get it now," she looked down, blushing again, "it was, um, the gloves and stuff." Zoe didn't even realize that she'd stopped trembling for the most part. The emotional turmoil was pretty much over, at least for now. There were still things lingering in the air, but this part, this part was business as usual for the two of them.

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn tried to not take too much offence to Zoe jerking her hand away, figuring that maybe her hand was hurting pretty bad. Since Zoe said her hands where feeling weird, it had to do something with wearing the gloves for so long. She hoped that Zoe was not allergic to the material or anything. That would be really bad and Zoe would be the next one in the bed. How would that look? Both girlfriends in the infirmary because of each other in a way. She was pushed back into a laying down position, not having all that much stretch to really put up much of a fight. Laying back and her body was actually thankful for that as she let out a content say of sorts.

"Yeah?" Devyn asked looking at her girlfriend, ready to help in what way she could. Shaking her head no when Zoe said that she was being stupid and not thinking clearly. "I can still rub it on your hands Zoe. Just will have to take breaks or you could get me a pair of gloves." Devyn suggested, really wanting to help Zoe in some way, and if that would sooth Zoe's hands, then she wanted to do it.

She watched and Zoe was moving back and forth like she was trying to figure out what to do first. It was cute but still worried Zoe, making her move to sit up again, wanting to get out of the bed and help Zoe out. Her body was not having it, only letting her sit back up again and adjust her legs. "Take care of yourself first Zoe. I'll be fine. Get yourself something to drink and come back over here so I can help you put the ointment on your hands." Devyn said really not concerned about the food, she would just wait. She was a little worried about how she was going to do with eating it anyways. Waiting might have been the best idea with her own emotions seeming to go out of balance while Zoe seemed to be calming down.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Devyn was still offering, and Zoe caught the bit where Devyn offered to do so without any protection. As if Zoe was going to let that happen any time soon; not hardly. She was, however, thinking that it would definitely be beneficial for them both if she could let Devyn do it. Hand touching was fine, right? Definitely nothing odd there. Plus, Zoe's hands were starting to ache now that she thought of them, and she was certain they looked bad.

The confusion she had about what to do first soon dispelled in the wake of Devyn's order. Zoe nodded to her girlfriend and moved, quickly finding a pair of gloves. The ointment took a little more time, as Zoe looked through things. She had to pause and smile a little ruefully, looking over at Devyn. "I send you to the medical ward and you're still the one taking care of me," she pointed out. There was a touch of sadness to that smile, one that reinforced Zoe's idea of just how pathetic a being she was. She sighed, finally reaching up and finding a creme that should work on her battered hands.

Zoe walked back to the bed, looking Devyn over. The photographer had clearly calmed down for the most part, the trembling all but vanished, her gaze decidedly more Zoe than freaked out individual. She still tossed the gloves to Devyn instead of reaching over to hand them off, then sat on the bed, fumbling a bit with the jar. She paused, looking down at it, wrapped in thought for several seconds.

"I do still want you," she said, her voice low, "I don't think that's ever going to go away, but... Devyn, I," she took a breath, holding out the ointment and smiling at her girlfriend. She wanted to say something teasing, she forced herself to manage at least a little something: "You sure you can handle massaging my hands? They're really tender right now," she held up one wrinkled hand, the skin nearly cracking, and she winced. They were always white and tender thanks to the gloves, but this, this was... bad.

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn really didn’t like ordering Zoe around, okay she did a little, but it was not just Zoe, it was people in particular. If not one was taking charge of a situation then she did. The was the 'top dog' in her after all, not being a big fan of taking orders and preferred to be the one dissing them out and leading the way. Her green eyes didn’t leave Zoe as she watched her girlfriend move about the room, finding a pair of gloves and then seeming to be searching for the ointment. Devyn could not really help all that much since she was currently stuck in a bed. Any other time she could have at least tried to sniff something out, but that might have been a bad idea with the different medications having various effects and her possibly sniffing them in. Zoe's little smile of sorts had Devyn smiling a little back at her in return until Zoe's comment and how the smile looked a bit sad.

"I do care about you Zoe, a lot. I could be bleeding to death and still would do what I could for you." Devyn admitted and that was true, once she made a best friend she was loyal to them to her very core unless they betrayed her. So far the holders of such loyalty were Kitty, but that relationship had three years to go off of. Zoe was the other and they were still pretty new to being friends and then girlfriend. It was love in a way, just possibly not the love that Zoe had for Devyn. The love that Devyn was still pretty much denying in favor of wanting Zoe to fall in love with someone...well not Devyn like. Devyn waited on the bed, not much she could do other than that, even sitting up hurt a little bit, making her adjust the pillows for a moment before getting comfy once more. Having a pair of gloves tossed at her and she went to put them on, not too bothered by the fact that Zoe did not hand them to her.

"Want me in what way?" Devyn asked, wanting to be clear with what Zoe was getting at since her brain was still working its way around that love word still. Plus Devyn thought they had established that they were still going to go out so what other way could Zoe want her. Devyn was currently trying to keep her mind out of the gutter, but it slipped there a little, only to be brought back by Zoe's neck words. Green eyes looking down as the pale and cracked skin had to be painful. Devyn was very tempted to lift the hand up to her lips and give it a soft kiss as if wanting to kiss the pain away, but didn’t want Zoe to jerk away from her. Making sure her gloves were on right, even showed them to Zoe so Zoe could feel at ease, and taking the jar. "I'm pretty good with my hands. I'll be as gentle as I can. Just tell me if I am hurting you." Devyn said, her voice coming out in a softer tone.

Moving to put the ointment on Zoe's outstretched hand, carefully holding it with one hand, while the other went to spread it in. Zoe's hand just seemed so small and delicate; much like Zoe was in Devyn's mind. Zoe was kind of a rabbit, a cute little rabbit that was caught in a trap. It could get out of the trap but outside was a wolf waiting with open jaws. That wolf was Devyn and she honestly felt like she herself was a danger to Zoe. With her desire to touch and lack of real fear even now, it had to be hard on Zoe.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Hearing those words from Devyn, the ones about caring, made Zoe flush yet again. It amazed her that someone could care about her like that. Part of her was convinced that this was love, though she doubted that Devyn would admit as much. But feeling affection for someone despite what they did to you? Wanting to be with that person? That sounded a lot like love to Zoe; it felt a lot like what she felt toward Devyn, though she wasn't sure that the other's feelings were as deep.

Which was fine. Really. Sometimes this happened. People didn't necessarily fall in love with each other at the same speed; sometimes someone fell a little deeper faster, sometimes the other person didn't even realize they loved their mate till it was almost too late. Zoe knew that; she mentally told herself that now. It didn't make her wish that Devyn would just say those words though. But Zoe wanted her girlfriend to mean them, so she knew she couldn't push. Even if she wanted to. Which she really didn't, because this was fine. It could just come in time.

"Um, I want you in a lot of ways,' said Zoe, blushing again. She held out her hand, smiling at Devyn's comment. She only flinched a little as Devyn started touching her. it felt cold, but that was probably because of the medicine. She could already feel it burning her hand a little, and the mixture of sensations did feel weird, but in a soothing way, as did having Devyn's hands on her. "Like, um, I still think you're, um, sexy, and stuff," she shifted a little, "and I, uh, lo-like, like you a lot," she flushed, figuring that she shouldn't say the other word; didn't want to make Devyn uncomfortable, "so I want to spend time with you and, um, I like the cuddling, like, a lot," she let out a little laugh at this, which made her wince, realizing that she still ached as little. Probably not as much as Devyn though, and just thinking about that made Zoe morose all over again...

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn smiled a little more at Zoe blushing, it was still good to see that Zoe could still blush and get all flustered even after all that happened. It meant that Devyn's words still had an effect on her. It was indeed a love for Zoe, but Devyn was pretty sure it was not the same kind of love. Not that she didn’t want to love Zoe; she just was not good at love. She had loved someone before, two people in fact. First was a girl by the name of Mary, who she had gotten a lot of tattoos with, two of which were a little stupid in her opinion but both were not super well done and had pretty much faded. Then her other love had been a guy, she honestly forgot his name and he was a tattoo artist so she had gotten tattoos from him as well, but these ones were well done and less about their relationship. That last love however was older than her and it was merely a little fling for him where Devyn saw it as other things.

Eww, I don’t want to be thinking about this. Devyn thought as she pushed all the mushy, icky, love thoughts and what not out of her head. Focusing instead on taking care of Zoe's hands, not bothered by her own pain or how stiff she felt still. At least she could move, at least she was alive, and at least Zoe was still here. That’s all that mattered to Devyn. If Zoe had ran away and Devyn still managed to live and Zoe was not around or did not come back to Devyn after the incident then Devyn would have been mad. She would have broken up with Zoe as soon as she recovered and would have said it to the other girls face, making it clear that she didn’t want to date a person who was too afraid to deal with any drama or trouble that they were a part of.

Devyn raised an eyebrow but started to smile as she heard Zoe's words and could not help but to give a small chuckle, despite it hurting a little. "Thanks Zoe, I want you in a lot of ways too. Even now. I think you are super sexy, attractive, and I just want to hold you close and never let you go." Devyn said pausing in what she was doing in a moment to give Zoe eye contact. Catching the slight switch of words but didn’t say anything about it, since it was not that big of a deal. "I like you a lot too Zoe and I'm always for cuddling and snuggling you." Devyn said with a small nod, making sure to even get in-between Zoe's fingers and make sure the ointment covered every bit of Zoe's hands. She was going to suggest that Zoe let them air out, but she had to time it right. Make sure Zoe didn’t put gloves back on at least for the rest of the night...well early, early morning. "I still want to have sex with you, so there is that as well." Devyn decided to thrown in, might have been a bit too soon to say such a thing after what had happened, but while they were sharing their wants, she figured might as well.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

As always, the various compliments made Zoe flush again, averting her eyes for a bit. The touching felt good, and a little weird. She was so used to being the one wearing the gloves and feeling other people through it, not the other way around. Plus, Devyn was being very gentle, almost sensually so. I wonder if she's a gentle lover too. It would feel great to have her... wait, what am I thinking? I just got her into a sick bed thinking like that. Zoe shook her head, straightening up a little. Control yourself, Zoe. You're better than that.

But she is quite hot.

Lots of like, lots of promises of cuddling and such. Zoe was already figuring that she'd just end up spending the night here. She was covered enough, and they could have the additional cover of some blankets or something to work as well. As she thought of that, that and... other things, Zoe spread her fingers, grateful that Devyn thought to work between them. Her hands already had that soothing tingle that let Zoe know that healing happened.

Then Devyn threw something out, almost casually. Zoe squirmed, taking a deep breath. Was this a good time to mention it? She should, she really should, especially in light of everything. It was awkward, especially considering where they were and what had just happened. "I think I do too," she said, choosing her words carefully, "but Devyn, I--it would be my first time, and--and I don't think I can do that with someone who doesn't,' she bit her lip, averted her eyes, took a deep breath. She shifted on the bed, careful to keep her hands more or less steady. "It's all rather moot, isn't it? There's no way that we can get naked enough to make love to each other anyway." And yes, she was going to use that phrase. Repeatedly.

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn made sure to get every bit of Zoe's skin, even if it was her wearing the gloves this time, she was still getting to touch Zoe. Being able to touch Zoe and get something of her feeling through to Zoe. That she could be gentle even with her aggressive nature. Devyn did want Zoe to stay the night with her, but only if Zoe took care of herself. Making sure that Zoe would get herself something to drink and eat if her stomach could handle it. She didn’t want Zoe getting herself sick over staying here and wanting to be with Devyn. Sure it made Devyn feel good that Zoe wanted to be around her so much, but at the same time she still wanted Zoe to take care of herself.

Devyn motioned to Zoe to hand over her other hand so she could work on putting ointment on Zoe's other hand. Devyn could not help but to have a sly smirk at seeing Zoe squirm and taking a deep breath. Had to mean that she was thinking about the whole sex comment, as she should have been. Devyn wanted Zoe's mind in the gutter where Devyn's was. It was better when your girlfriend was thinking along the same lines as you were. However, Devyn did not expect Zoe to say that she did to. In caught her by so much surprise that she fully blushed, and could not even try to cover it up. She did however look away and try to hide somewhat so Zoe would not catch it. Even if it was clear as day, even if it was still dark outside and inside the room. "You do?" Devyn managed to ask, glancing over to Zoe and taking a deep breath before going back to working on Zoe's hands.

"I know..." Devyn was trying to gather her thoughts since when she was caught off guard she was trying to settle her thoughts and just in general her blush. She cleared her throat. "I know you are a virgin and I would be gentle with you. There are ways....that we could have...well make love as you say without having to remove both of our clothing." Devyn went on to say, trying to figure out how and what to say to Zoe. Devyn leaned forward a little, dropping her voice to a whisper. "There is hands, mouth, toys, and all sorts of things. Even rubbing works. Hell this is weird." Devyn said followed by a bit of a chuckle because it was really weird to kind of just come out and say these things. Devyn however thought back to an earlier comment Zoe had made, about it being difficult with someone who doesn’t something. "Where you getting at something about me not having a di...male anatomy?" Devyn asked, trying to use...safe words. Devyn was not sure if she was making any...well logic. Her brain still recovering from the shock of Zoe's words.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

The do made Zoe blush and squirm again, as Devyn probably figured it would. The embarrassment soon turned into something very akin to mortification as Devyn continued. Though Zoe did have to admit that the admission of being gentle made her feel warm and fuzzy in all the best ways. That whisper ran right down her spine too, sending little tingles shooting all through Zoe. Hands, mouths... toys. Zoe definitely squirmed at that, feeling her heart skip a few beats. It all sounded quite exciting to her and, well, more than a little arousing too.

"Devyn!' Zoe finally gasped, moving to lightly hit her girlfriend with her spare hand. "I most certainly was not thinking about---well, that. I did, you know, wonder, since I haven't---with a girl, but I'm not an idiot. Even if I was worried; I knew that you'd---" she bit her lip, squirming again. She wiggled her fingers for a bit, suddenly all too aware that Devyn was being quite handsy.

What should she say? That part of her desperately wanted Devyn to be her first? Did the love have to go both ways? Because Devyn clearly had great affection for Zoe, not to mention quite a bit of experience to bring to the fray. Surely there were people who would love to be introduced to sex through someone as passionate and experienced as Devyn... which Zoe had thought about before... in detail. But she just knew that...

"I was actually thinking that it, um, would require,' she flushed, lowering her eyes, knowing that she couldn't meet Devyn's gaze when she said this. "I'd---I'd want my first to--to love me, Devyn," she jerked her hand away, holding it, almost cradling, "I don't mean that you have to or anything; I understand, and i don't want to push or anything. It's just---I think that--" she sighed, turning to look away for a moment. "I think that I'd regret it if I slept with someone and they didn't love me first. that's all," she squirmed, feeling like Devyn was going to be all cold and kick her off the bed now. It wasn't a denial; it was a suggestion that they just wait a bit. It didn't negate the want or desire a smidgen, but would Devyn understand that? Zoe so wanted her to...

[Devyn Solway]

Zoe was blushing and squirming around, which was helping Devyn find some sense of normality again. That was the Zoe she knew, not the one that caught her completely off guard by words of agreeing with what Devyn wanted as well. It was good to know at least that Zoe actually did want to and it was just not for the sake of experimenting. Well...it could have still been for the sake of experimenting since Zoe was still all knew to this after all. Being her virgin self and all. Devyn could not help but to give a devious smirk just thinking about being the one to take that innocence away from Zoe. Zoe called her name out and gave a soft hit which made Devyn chuckled and at least was no longer blushing. All it right again.

"I get it Zoe, but don’t worry. I teach you everything nice and slow and let you experience the different levels of pleasure." Devyn whispered still, giving her girlfriend a wink as she rubbed Zoe's palm, watching the finger wiggle a bit and was tempted to nibble them, but that would be a bad idea with the ointment on them. There was that silence now, where neither Devyn nor Zoe said anything, Devyn allowing Zoe to think about what she said and wondering if Zoe was going to say okay and be up for it. Not that Devyn would be able to do anything now. Pfft, that was a lie. There were still a few things Devyn could do to Zoe even in her current condition; she just needed Zoe to give her the okay. Once she had that well she was free to do as she like. Making sure that she would be careful with any skin to skin contact. Hard passionate kisses were off the list for sure since Devyn liked being able to breathe and not black out, but small kisses were fine.

Oh, here come the condition. Devyn thought as soon as Zoe said the word require, having a feeling it would not be that easy as she would have liked it to be. Zoe would not look her in the eyes and then she said that love word, making Devyn go still. The hand jerked away from her but Devyn didn’t move or say anything as Zoe went on to explain that she wanted her first to be with someone that loved her. That she would regret it if she slept with someone that didn’t love her. Devyn looked down at her gloves now, for a moment in silence. So I have to say it in order for her to sleep with me. But I can’t just say it... Devyn thought, knowing she was above the whole just telling Zoe she loved her just to get the other girl to sleep with her. Devyn closed her eyes for a moment, and messed with the ointment container. "Are your hands good now?" Devyn asked, opting to not touch on the other subject at all then. She understood, she got it that was all there was to it, she didn’t feel the need or want to discuss it.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

oh, how Zoe wanted to just say yes. To feel Devyn taking it nice and slow. She knew her girlfriend, knew that Deyvn would figure out some way of accomplishing that goal, despite the whole no skin touching thing. Zoe could even think of a few things herself, even with her own addled mind. She could picture odd body suits or strange things used for who knows what. And if Zoe could think it, then Devyn had likely already thought it, done it, and was planning out the best way of doing it to Zoe.

The condition hung there though; Zoe could feel its weight settling on Devyn. Zoe wanted to cry, to take back the words or something. But if it was one thing that Devyn had taught her, besides possibly loving herself, it was a sort of strength to actually stand up and do something. This mattered to Zoe, and she knew that she couldn't budge, even as her body screamed at her.

She heard Devyn moving, fiddling with something, then the question. Zoe took a deep breath, trembling a little. "Not really," she admitted. She really wanted Devyn to massage them again; it had just felt so good. but now, now Zoe couldn't help but feel that... she looked to her girlfriend. "I'm sorry," she spat, nearly hiccuping again. Oh, there would so have been tears now, if Zoe hadn't been dried up. "I just--I'm sorry," she wanted to curl up. Actually, she wanted to curl up next to Devyn and be held while Devyn worked at her hands, which were tingling fiercely but still aching. "I--Devyn, I don't know what to say," she hiccuped, rubbing at her eyes, "tell me what you want me to say. I don't know what to do to make this right, make us right."

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn did respect Zoe for coming out and saying it now instead of later the next time they got all hot and heavy. If they ever got hot and heavy again. Devyn wanted Zoe to be clear with what she wanted and where she stood on things and Devyn didn’t want to ever to make Zoe feel like she had to do something to make her happy. If Zoe was not happy with what she was doing, then what the point of it all? Devyn wanted Zoe to want it like she wanted it and to be able to enjoy every moment of it.

No doubt, no fear, or anything else that could have gotten in the way of the full experience, especially since it was Zoe's first time. Devyn knew how important that was, even if her first time was not gentle or special to say the least. Heck it was done in the bathroom, the girl was a lot older and more experienced then Devyn and Devyn had been just expected to keep up. Yeah it was kind of bad that Devyn had a lot of partners, but it also helped her understand that things had to be done differently for each person.

"Alright, next hand then please." Devyn requested as she held out her hand and was ready to go to work on Zoe's other hand a little more, she would rub them both a little longer if Zoe really wanted her too. All Zoe had to do was ask and Devyn would do it. Was the least she could do for making Zoe worry and end up with her hands like this in the first place. "Nothing to be sorry for." Devyn said simply as soon at Zoe said she was sorry. There really was nothing for Zoe to be sorry for. Zoe apologized a second time and then was asking for what she should say and Devyn shook her head no. "I can't tell you that Zoe. You're your own person. What you say and what you want is your choice. If I told you what to say then I would be taking away your choice." Devyn said still speaking in a simple manner, seemingly unaffected by Zoe's state, but she was, just feeling odd a bit. "Are we not right Zoe? Do you think something is wrong between us?" Devyn asked as she raised her eyebrow a little, looking at Zoe with her green eyes.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe held out the next hand, though, of  course, all while looking down and feeling quite silly yet again. Devyn's touch felt almost too good on her wrinkled and damaged hands, and Zoe found herself scooting a little more toward her girlfriend. She kept her gaze lowered, nearly sinking into the sweatshirt, as Devyn insisted that she had nothing to apologize for. Zoe almost found that funny, considering that they were both sitting in the med room precisely because Zoe had something to apologize for. This was soon followed by a head shake and more words, words that actually made Zoe love Devyn even more. Yes, yes she would certainly be crying if she had any tears left to cry.

taking away her choice... that was kind of the point, though Zoe certainly wasn't going to say that to her girlfriend. She swallowed, moving her fingers to let Devyn get better access to them. Devyn asked if anything was wrong, and Zoe forced herself to look at her girlfriend's eyes. Yes, yes something was probably wrong. Devyn wanted to sleep with Zoe; Zoe wanted to sleep with Devyn, but only if Devyn admitted to loving her first. If that didn't sound like teasing, then Zoe didn't know what did. At least she took some comfortable in knowing that she'd never be able to dress provocatively for her girlfriend.

"No, I mean, I don't think so," managed Zoe, squirming. She lowered her eyes to her hand, took a deep, shaking breath, then forced herself to look back to Devyn. Zoe wanted to say I love you again, wanted to just admit it; she'd already said the words and Devyn's hearing was excellent. But, but it was different. And Zoe didn't want to be the manipulative, teasing girlfriend. She wanted to be the loving girlfriend. She nearly whimpered again, then found herself gasping as she felt the ointment hit a patch of broken skin. "The ointment," she explained, biting her lip and looking at Devyn, "it, um, found a sore spot..."