Ramblings of a Raven.

[Raven Rander]

"Start. Audio.... on? what's the damn- oh you're working. sweet.

First things first. The list of people i'll allow to live when I rule the universe is finally being updated. for the FIRST time since I got to this gods forsaken place. Turns out not everyone here is beyond redemption, so maybe there's hope for humanity yet.

Probably not. we'll see. Besides that list is a different file... Point is I've met a few people recently who are either likable or just don't deserve to die. 'les they're all faking it to make me submit to this place. Is that likely? i'm not exactly the powerhouse others are. Chances are being able to smuggle a dangerous animal into enemy territory is really only a one-shot deal.

My dumb furry ass wouldn't know to avoid being shot. Maybe there's some Russian Official, who's terrified of bears and they're planning for me to kill them?

I'm starting to think I might just be developing paranoia from my refusal to trust any of the people who control my life. Or do I not trust them BECAUSE i'm paranoid?

It's like a chicken and egg thing. only stupid. and The chicken is a government institution that gave birth to mental illness......... so it's the CIA! Hahaha. I'm wasted on making videos no one will ever see. Unless they're hacking my computer to see if i'm trying to find help online.

Yahoo answers that shit. "help i'm trapped in a school that I can't leave because I think a bunch of the teachers are reading my mind! and tracking me with their brains! the  tin foil hat didn't stop them!" That'll work.

Just watch, it's going to turn out there are no mutants and i'm a schizophrenic somewhere writing this on the wall of my padded cell in poop.

*long silence*

That...... is depressingly likely actually. But how would I know? Does it matter? Like the Matrix argument "if I AM trapped in a world that isn't real and I can't escape, then I might as well just keep living here shouldn't I?"

Wonder if a tinfoil hat actually would let me escape? Fuck it. i'm a try. be right back. Audio off!"

"Audio on. Okay..... I look like the stupidest I have ever looked. including that one Halloween I tried to be Jessica Rabbit. but I now have tinfoil wrapped around my skull, if the security kick my door in thinking I've died by the end of this, then I finally have an escape plan!

I'll have to wear tinfoil for the rest of my life though.

Maybe i'll line the inside of a baseball cap. I can pull that off I think.

Will make showering awkward. and job interviews. and mean i'd never be able to shift again. Imagine I get married and have to wear a hat during the whole thing. Imagine explaining that to my loves parents "no no she's not crazy. she's just on the run from the government." I'm a catch. Honest.

I'm trying to convince my laptop i'm datable. A woman looks at her life. she looks at her choices.

If this doesn't work I might start trying it with lead next. Worked on Superman. where would I get a lead hat? how would I get away with waking down the street wearing one? questions for later! i'll cross that bridge when I burn it and my entire life to the ground out of spite. Because i'm an adult making adult choices!

Wait. I don't think Superman could read minds. or exist. Though maybe. Shit if it turns out I could have been superwoman instead of bear woman i'm going to be piiiiiiiiiiiissed.... not sure who at though. God? somehow I feel he's not the guy I want to aggravate.

I'm a head to a church. Ask the priest to explain why I deserved this and get really angry when he replies that God works in mysterious ways. Because my door being intact means this tinfoil thing hasn't worked.

Imagine my shock.

Well off to Church it is then! i'mma get my pray on!

Audio off!