How did we end up here? (ldr)

[Benjamin Banks]

Sleep wasn't something that comes easy to Ben. Which was why after his last class of the day he wasn't too worried about waking up from the rare treat when the others left. The dull hum of his music had left the noise unnoticeable and his mind really didn't register the soft syllaby that was playing in his ear. Gutair was definitely something he missed but he had to give it up, he didn't have the time for trival things like music. Not with the plans he had laid out.

The universe was out to get him, it had to be all the bad things he had done in his life. He knew that it was being selfish, but when he finally woke up and saw LDR standing their he allocated wanted to pretend like everything was okay. Ben didn't like admitting he was wrong, he didn't like losing. However he was going to pressure LDR into being with him...he was just going to ignore everything in his mind telling him that he cared about the younger boy.

Sighing her rubbed his eyes tiredly, the bags were definitely getting darker. "Yes?" He asked, knowing that he was stuck. He couldn't walk out the door, not after their texting conversation. He had thought he was doing do we'll closing that doo, bug he was going to deadbolt it shut this time.

Lister D. Reynolds

[Lister D. Reynolds]

Shit. Shit Shit. Why did my power stop wanting to cooperate now? LDR was running down the hallway, at a normal pace, with a small group of people running after him. He didn't even know what he had done this time. After a few more moments, where he thought his chest was going to explode, he chucked himself into the first free room he could find. Slamming the door he pushed his back against it and breathed heavily. And then he noticed the other person in the room. Ben actually.

Shit. Shit. Shit. What is he doing here? The boy pressed his body against the door harder and gave Ben a look of fear "Uh...I-I-I-I-I..." There was a bang at the door and LDR flinched, his knees shaking. He pointed behind him and mouthed Bullies His breathing began to become more erratic, eyes begging Ben not to sell him out.

[Benjamin Banks]

Ben looked at LDR rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he got up. He heard the banging and sighed, he had no idea why LDR was always the target of bullies. He hadn't realized that He had been shielding him when they were friends and then no so much after they had fallen out. He had thought the problem was gone, after all LDR was almost eighteen. He sighed and rolled his eyes as he walked over towards LDR not fully awake just trudging towards the shorter boy. "really, I thought you were done with bullies. You're almost eighteen" He said patting the desk for the boy to sit down at so he can handle the bullies.

It wasn't as if he wanted to help LDR but half asleep, he wasn't really able to keep the facade up of not caring about him. Besides Ellen, Ldr happened to be the only person he cared about. "this is the last time i'm doing this, I mean seriously." He said as he was picking up desk to put in front of the door for the bullies to trip over when they fell in after he opened the door. He was just not in the mood for arguments or anything else, at least not until he woke up completely.

[Lister D. Reynolds]

LDR didn't move until he was sure that Ben wasn't just going to let them have at him. Even though he could easily just have hidden at the back of the room, LDR stayed behind Ben. He peeked around to watch as a bully tripped in, resisting the urge to grip on to Ben. Sure things had been weird between them, but it wasn't like Ben didn't make him feel safe. The bully gave a frightened look as he registered who it was they were up against.

The bully looked back at his friends who had already fled away, knowing that Ben could make their lives a living hell. LDR stepped back a bit, looking up at Ben and shrugging "So-So-Sorry...I-I-I-I..." The boy shakes his head before looking back down at the ground, shuffling nervously "I-I-I gu-guess you wa-want to ta-ta-talk ab-about...uh..."

[Benjamin Banks]

Ben lookes at the two boys who were chasing LDR woth boredom. It was really surprising they had the time to bully his friend. Did ldr still count as his friend if they hadnt talked for awhile?

"If you want to talk about it?" he said sitting on a desk and resting his hands on the edge. He missed the younger that was for sure. It was going to hard to go back to ignoring him.

"i remember when you used stutter less when we talked"

[Lister D. Reynolds]

LDR didn't know what to say so he shrugged, moving his arm across to grip the other. He stood still, looking down. No, he didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to talk about anything really. He just wanted to go back to his dorm and hide in his room, playing video games until the late hours.

He shrugged again "Th-Th-That wa-was before ev-everyth-th-th-thing we-went wr-wrong..." His eyes flickered up for a second before returning to the ground. Standing in the same spot was making him feel even more nervous so he moved towards the teacher's desk and sat on top. Swinging his legs he looked back up at Ben "I-I-I-I-I..." He shook his head and looked back down.

[Benjamin Banks]

Ben looked at ldr and he scratched his head. This was his fault, he had put so much trust in the younger boy it had made it easier for him to be hurt. He wouldnt be upset if he hadnt let LDR in. Still for some reason it didnt seem like a bad idea, it seemed like a stupid idea.

"I missed that, playing video games...hanging out." he said before he could stop himself. It was hard to not let words slip out, he couldnt lie to LDR to his face.

" I just dont know how to make this better, i dont know why im even mad"

[Lister D. Reynolds]

"I-I-I-I kn-kn-know wh-why you're ma-mad...a-a-and I-I-I'm so-so-so-sorry. I ne-ne-ne-never mea-meant fo-for he-he-her to..." LDR looked up at Ben again, he shrugged one shoulder. It was true, he never meant for Blair to kiss him or for Ben to hear about it.

"I-I-I-I-I mi-mi-miss play-playing games too...a-a-and you we-we-were someone I cou-could talk to." A small smile curled at the corner of his lips. Maybe this meant Ben would be his friend again. It certainly seemed like Ben had mostly forgiven him.

[Benjamin Banks]

Ben sighed and shrugged his shoulders. He honestly wanted to believe that LDR was trustworthy, he wanted to look past all the nonesense but he just didnt know how. He had spwnt three years ignoring the boy and blocking out his feelings it was kind of hard to admit they were still there. " I know, I just dont know if I can trust you. I'd be lying if I didn't say the feelings weren't still there...i just dont think...Everything is complicated and I don't think we can fix this"

Ben nodded, LD had been his confident as well, the first person.he went to with his mafia idea. Now he was leaning towards politics and he wasn't sure he really wanted to. He remembered yhe Art club and art class ge took.in senior year, he missed it. "I don't wanna be that person, but I just cant Seperate my feelings, I dont understand them. Yhe part of me that has romantic feelings for you feels betrayed still, even though the other part wants to be friends. I just...i dont know LD"

[Lister D. Reynolds]

"I d-d-don't kn-know either man..." LDR looked up to stare at Ben "I-I-I'm sorry things ki-ki-ki-kind of...blew up." He mimes a tiny explosion then realizes it looks really weird and goes back to gripping his arm. A smile has flickered at the corner of his lips Yeah this is working. I can get Ben back and we can... The smile faded We can what? What's going to happen now? Is everything going to be fine and dandy or is it still going to be weird?

He considered Ben for a moment before sliding off the table and leaning against it "So can we fix this?"

[Benjamin Banks]

Ben looked at LDR and he really wanted to say that everything was fine and he was forgiven. However he knew things were never that easy, it was like he was finding a new way to mess things up. After all who started having feelings for their best friend? He was sure that everything was mostly his fault, why should it matter that LDR likes the other girl? Wasn't he fully prepared to leave LD alone if he wasn't into guys? At least that's how this whole confession thing turned out and then they went on the date...yeah that just complicated things.

"It's not gonna be easy, but i'm willing to try if you are. Just be...patient...mi still not at the point were I can just forget everything" He said staring at the clock, anything to not look at the younger boy in the eyes, face or anywhere. He just wanted to be okay with everything again.

Lister D. Reynolds

[Lister D. Reynolds]

It was hard to tell whether or not LDR was smiling or frowning. There had been a long pause between them. A pause which LDR used to study his friend again, he looked stressed. Tired. Like something had been eating away at him, for a brief moment LDR believe it was him, he had to shake away that feeling. Nope, no negativity. Be Positive.

The boy shrugged, trying to keep it light "W-W-We ca-can try." He looked around for a few moments before returning to Ben, a smile spreading across his face "So...uhmm...do y-y-you wa-want to...uhmmm..." He stopped and rubbed the back of his head, suddenly not sure where to go from here.

[Benjamin Banks]

Ben sighed and ran a hand through his hair, where did they go from here? It wasn't that hard to see that they had to first leave the classroom. However for as many possibilities Ben could calculate, he was never able to factor LDR into anything. Every time he tried his powers went wonky, there was so many factors it made his head spin. "Come on, ill walk you to where you need to go, just to make sure you get there safe" He said walking over to the door after grabbing his back pack and slinging it over his shoulder.

He offered LDR one of his rare smiles as he opened the door. He had no idea where this was going but it was an opportunity to revist the days when things came easily to them. He knew that pretending to not care hurt just as much as caring. "Where are you headed ayways?"

[Lister D. Reynolds]

LDR returned the smile back at Ben, the tightness which had constricted his chest since he tumbled into the classroom disappeared. He moved out the door, being careful not to bump into Ben "Uhmmm...I-I-I wa-was headed to m-my do-dorm...we-well ac-actually to Tr-Track but I-I-I ki-kinda ju-just wa-wa-want to...uhmm..." The boy shrugged as they started to move down the corridor.

There was another long pause between the two. LDR glanced sideways at Ben, something was different about him. He couldn't really explain it but Ben seemed to be carrying himself, it wasn't the same energetic bounce he had. After a few more moments LDR spoke up "S-S-So...how-how...How's co-college?" Nope that was a boring topic "So-Sorry...uhmm...pl-play any go-good ga-ga-..." The boy shrugged, giving up at trying to make conversation. They hadn't talked in so long that LDR wasn't sure what he was meant to say.

[Benjamin Banks]

Ben nodded and then started towards the track, he was all for ignoring the fact that LDR wanted to go to his dorm. Ben wasn't sure he'd be able to handle being back at the scene of the crime just yet. "track, that seems like a good fit for you" he said smiling stuffing his free hand into the pockets of his jeans. He wasn't sure why there was this comfortabl awkwardness now that he wasn't pretending to ignore LD's exsistence. Ben knew that he wasn't the fairest person in the world, after all he had written so many letters telling the boy they couldn't be friends that his shredder broke. Why should it matter that LD kissed someone else, they weren't together.


"School is boring, the parties are decent, and i haven't had time to play video games." Even if Ben purposely stopped playing video games because they reminded him of the shorter boy. It was all irrevelvant, he was too busy trying to get over his feelings to actually feel anything. He knew that being around LDR was only going to twist his judgement again.