Force of Dork (Kirk)

[Riley Forrester]

To: Kirk Morrowik
From: Riley Forrester

*pokes*

Dude I feel like it's been ages since I've seen you

How have you been?

Please tell me you're still alive!!!

Should I send in the troops?

[Kirk Morrowik]

To: Riley Forrester
From: Kirk Morrowik

*rises from the depths*

I LIIIIIIIIIIVE!

It has been. Or feels like it.

Pretty good. What about you?

I heard you moved into a flat or something?

Shouldn't you have asked me that first?

Only if they bring pancakes with them. I'm starving.

[Riley Forrester]

OH GOD

*Shoves back into the depths*

NO GO BACK FROM WHENCE YOU CAME

Definitely feels like it. We should remedy that

I'm good. Still a dork, but good.

Yeah.

Me and Zoe live there now. It's great. You should come over some time.

I do what I want. Screw logic.

No can do. I ate all the pancakes.

[Kirk Morrowik]

HEY!

*pulls into depths*

And after all the dirt I climbed through just to answer you.

*sassily turns*

We should. Movie night?

We're both dorks. We've survive the disease together.

Nice.

When are you marrying that girl?

Do I need to pull more disney songs out?

You're already doing the "living together" part.

It'll come bite you in the ass when you aren't looking.

HOW COULD YOU??

[Riley Forrester]

WHAT THE HELL BRO

*hangs onto the edge*

I'm not going in some raggedy ass hole!

Make sure you take a shower.

*sassily unfazed*

Yessssssss. What movie?

We're all in this together.

NO KIRK DONT ASK

NO NO DISNEY

I know I know

I just want to take my time with this all, you know? Wait til it's the perfect moment.

I'll wear butt protection.

CAUSE IM EVIL!

[Kirk Morrowik]

WE RHYME TOGETHER

WE DIE TOGETHER

*hangs on like a backpack*

IM 22 YEARS OLD MOM

YOU CANT TELL ME WHAT TO DO ANYMORE

I was in the mood for Spirited Away or something.

Did you just quote High School Musical at me?

I AM ASKING

Sha la la la la la
My oh my!
Looks like the girl's too shy,
Ain't gonna get the girl.
Sha la la la la la
Ain't that sad?
It's such a shame?
Too bad, you're gonna miss the girl,
Go on and get the girl

So that does mean you're proposing

I better be at this wedding

It chews through it

Trust me I've tried

DAMMIT!

[Riley Forrester]

IM TOO PRETTY TO DIE

What am I, Dora the Explorer?

IM NOT DONE RAISING YOU YET YOUNG MAN

YOU GET BACK HERE AND APOLOGIZE OR YOURE GROUNDED

Ooooooo

I'd be down for that

Yes. Yes I did.

*come at me bro*

NO YOU AINT

KIRK NO STOP

STOP GUILTING ME WITH DISNEY

..........

Yes ok I am but don't tell Zoe

Hell, delete that text man I don't want her to know yet

Well shit

Dammit.

Logic coming for da booty

HA!

[Kirk Morrowik]

DONT YOU KNOW ONLY THE GOOD DIE YOUNG???

Only if I get to kill that damn Map

BUT MOOOOOOOOOOOM

WELL EXCUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS

Good. When you want to watch?

God. Damn. You.

YEAH I AM

Let's get down to business
To get you, your Hun.
Did they send me daughters when I asked for some?
You're the saddest Punk I ever met
But you can bet before we're through
Mister, she'll make a wife out of you

Hey, why so secretive? You really that worried?

Yeah

Swiggity Swooty.

[Riley Forrester]

SHIT

WHY DOES NO ONE TELL ME THESE THINGS

Deal

He had it coming

DONT THROW YOUR BUTTS AT ME

NO

YOU AINT EXCUSED

Later today? I've got some free time

God. Bless. Me.

OH GOD NO STOP

Well sort of

I just really want to make sure it's perfect and all

I know Zoe really wants me to ask

Every time we go near a jewelry store she kind of lingers near it. I've seen her around a few too. It's kind of obvious.

[Kirk Morrowik]

It's a conspiracy you see

ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

*dramatic music plays*

*throws Butts at*

TOO BAD IM EXCUSING MYSELF

*angrily trips out the door*

That would be fine with me. I've got nothing else planned

*shoves musical into the depths*

Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine

That's pretty damn adorable

It sounds like Zoe is literally dying waiting on you there Riley

I'm sure she'd be happy no matter what so long as you pop the question

Because obviously she want you to get the hint to pick out a ring already

[Riley Forrester]

I KNEW IT

I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!!

Where did all this music come from?

Did you hide a hand or something?

*slaps away sassily*

For some reason I can see that actually happening to you

Just angrily tripping your way down the stairs or something

Good. 7 sound good? Or later?

Actually I was never really into that anyways

GOOD

It is. It really is

I knooooooow and I feel really guilty but I just want to hold off until the right moment

Yeah but I want it to be all special and everything, you know?

I know I know. I've got one picked out and everything. She's made it pretty obvious which stone she'd want too

[Kirk Morrowik]

YOU GET A CONSPIRACY

AND YOU GET A CONSPIRACY

YOU ALL GET CONSPIRACY THEORIES!!!

Well duh

It's always the Illuminati

Or Aliens

I forget which now

Well no my hands are right here in plain sight

For me at least

Unless you're Superman

*more dramatic music*

That's because it's already happened already

My sisters somehow managed to catch it on camera

Sounds good. My place or yours?

Good

Riley that's sweet and all but i feel like you might kill your girl first with the wait

Riley

It's a fucking proposal

How could it possibly get any more special than that?

Which stone? And I want to see this ring.

[Riley Forrester]

OMG THANK YOU OPRAH

Shit

Why do I always not get these memos?

I'm not saying it was aliens....

But it was aliens

*band

If I were superman I'd come over there and whoop your ass for being disrespectful to superman

Seriously are they under the floor boards or something?!

Wait seriously?

I am so watching this video

Put it on a cinema screen

Eh, yours

I'll text Zoe and warn her I'm going out for a bit

Zoe's stronger than she looks. She's seen some real shit

Kirk

I get that but I want it to be a special proposal

I don't want it to be like all the other proposals you see on TV or something

I want to make this unique for Zoe

Sapphire. I even saw a picture she took of a sapphire ring once.

You'll see the ring sometime but not now

I'll show it to you in person eventually

[Kirk Morrowik]

Oprah is love

Oprah is life

Because you don't read the fine print

And because we don't send you them on purpose

It's always aliens

Or the Illuminati

Oh, makes a hell of a lot more sense now

SO YOU ARE SUPERMAN

I'll never tell

*music intensifies*

Yes seriously

Sure

I'm pretty sure my sisters have some nefarious collection of all the times I screwed up somehow and watch it religiously as some sort of laughter treatment

Alright

You bring snacks though

She could come too if you want

I know she's strong but this is emotional stuff and coming from you

Riles im denser than a brick but even I know this is probably eating at Zoe

*sighs like a dramatic teen*

Look I get it yeah

Maybe just hurry the plans up a little faster

I'm talking more for your girlfriend's health than anything

Sapphire?

Nice

Got a hell of a lot more color to it

Personally I'd like a kickass ruby ring

But I digress

You better show me it sometime

[Riley Forrester]

She is

Hey wait

Didn't we get rid of the fine print or something?

HEY

Am I not cool enough for your memo club?

It is

It should

I NEVER SAID THAT

*narrows eyes suspiciously*

*I'm watching you*

aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

That's pretty serious

Yesssssss

I must join in their laughter treatment

It sounds amazing

Sure thing. Should I just wing it?

I'll ask her if she wants to

Are you really sure though? I don't want you to feel awkward or anything

What's that supposed to mean?

Well shit

*groans like a dramatic teen*

Look I'm trying alright?

I really do want this to happen

I'm glad you're looking out for her too, but she'll be fine

Yeah

Ikr?

It does

Of course you would

You just want to be the red power ranger

I will

I promise