{CO} The Conspiracy

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Franck, I'm so glad I found you!" Frank said, throwing an arm around her best friend and pulling him in close. By now, François Laffont was probably more or used to this sort of thing, and that Frank was doing it at the cookout while holding a hog dog in the other hand happened to be fairly normal. "see, I think that the school's putting some drugs into the food! It all tastes kinda funny and stuff and this might be, like, my eighth one and I've had a few dozen glasses of punch and all but I'm seriously thinking that they've started drugging the food to make us more sedate and get all relaxed and stuff because they're all worried about the hippies and the fact that things were on fire last time they did an event thing that was here so their solution was to start adding bits into the food that make them taste just a little bit off but in actuality do something far, far more evil: they make us all, like, mushy in the brain and more susceptible to the mind control and we all know that Elsa has crazy mental powers that just sort of seem to simultaneously grow and she's got that creepy bodyguard and so she's like a mutant Hitler, right?"

Frank paused, bobbing her head and grinning near manically at her friend. "It all makes perfect sense, right? So it's totally cool that I sort of chased all those little kids away from the table and have been sort of circling back and preventing anyone under the age of, like, twelve or something from getting to the desserts because of course they hit the desserts first and it's totally legit for me to, like, eat seventeen pieces of cake!"

and she might have been vibrating.
Just a little.

[François Laffont]

There was nothing strange in having Frank Cox calling him out and dragging him to whatever reason she was glad she found him for. In fact, if someone wondered about it, they'd say Franck looked even a little curious as to what it was this time.

Unlike his friend, Franck opted for burgers. Not that he didn't enjoy a hotdog when he could get one, then again Franck tended to stay away from that kind of food but today was the exception to the rule. It had more to do with his boyfriend being unable not to think naughty stuff whenever Franck put something in his mouth, especially in the shape of a hotdog. Somehow, and despite the fact said boyfriend was not around to point it out to him, he felt like someone else might think the same and for that reason he chose a burger. The taste was not all that much different really and he certainly did not care enough about that to complain about this injustice that had people assume a hotdog in his mouth had to be something dirty.

Surely Frank would not think that. "What is it?" he asked her, already putting on a conspiracy face to go with hers. She was ready to share something big. Of course, something big with Frank could be pretty much anything. Including her certainty that the staff drugged their food. "Anyone else, I'd say you had too many of those but you... what did you eat before coming here? You didn't get high on energy drinks again, did you?" Unlike Frank, he seemed to think it impossible that the staff might try to drug their students into a comatose-like state.

"Why should we worry about the hippies? They haven't done anything to us yet, no?" But for once Frank spoke some sense. He understood how an event like this might scare some people. To the point of drugging the food however...

Then she had to go about Elsa. "What do you have against her? I can assure you she would not put anything in it. You're exaggerating here. And who's that creepy bodyguard, Rox?" What got Frank to think Elsa was evil, he was not sure but he could see why the two would not get along too well. They were polar opposite.

He laughed as she mentioned how much dessert she ingested. "Ah, I see now. I think you should tone down the sugar Frank. And leave some to me, I haven't had any yet!" It was rather amusing to listen to Franck trying to calm his friend when her enthusiasm and vibrating nature just made him pretty close to doing the same. But she shall not win. He would not believe there was something in the food. "You think they spiked the drinks though? Not the staff, I mean the students. Like the always do during prom." Yes, he was ready to fall in the conspiracy a bit. He was only human after all.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

Frank just kept vibrating and didn't miss a beat: "What? No I haven't had any of those for a while. Kinda ran out last week after a marathon gaming session with Barry and they take a bit to come in."

"What? They're hippies! Everyone knows hippies are the harbingers of change and evil! They either are a super secret cult thing or they're going to be wiped out in a cruel act of government in a manner that makes everyone cry! It's practically in the script Franck, gah, sometimes!" There was some exasperated arm waving with that one.

"Uh, Elsa's, like, super mean and junk. Did you see what she did during the whole dating auction thing? She was all 'Frank, you're not allowed to talk' and 'Frank, we can't spray every date with baby oil' and 'no more than one intro song.' She's the fun police, Franck, the fun police! And that Rocks girl is her heavy."

"What? No, I only had, like, a bunch of punch and some cakes and some cupcakes because those are just shrunken cakes and they don't count and maybe I think there was candy? I seem to remember eating some candy. And I totally saw one of them spiking the punch!" Frank pointed a shaking finger at Franck, somehow managing to get it pointed toward the punch bowl. "There was, like, the hick one! You know, the really tall one that's got this super obvious thing for the really hot one who's all into rules and stuff? He's friends with the really muscular one 'cuz they killed people together or something. Anyway, he totally had this flask thing and was pouring it in! He's obviously working with the other one because it's all a conspiracy and--"

Frank paused, tilting her head to the side. "Do you smell frosting? I so smell frosting..."

[François Laffont]

Franck had not seen his friend excited like she was now this often. That was saying something. And it explained why he was concerned it might not be all her doing. He remembered how impossible it was to follow her mind when she decided to give up on sleep and enjoy energy drinks instead, illegal in the State too for what he remembered. One might argue that it was always impossible to follow Frank’s mind and one might be right. But Franck believed he was getting pretty good at that with time. Or, at the very least, he knew how to go along with it and pick up from there once he understood what was going on. Right now, however, it was pretty hard to.

Marathon gaming, right, that he got. Barry. Marathon gaming friend. He was with her so far. Then evil hippies. Wait, what? “Hippies are about peace and love Frank. You mean cultists. And so far, if they are in a cult, they haven’t done anything that terrifying, other than sell organic food and homemade crafts.” Ooh, how evil that was! Murdering fashion, one poncho at a time.

It took all of Franck’s attention to follow her train of thoughts and the fact she was so over the top, not even able to stand still just to further prove it, made it all the more harder for Franck to focus on what she said. He was ready to jump around too and he probably felt a little suspicious of everything as well. Something that must look more realistic on his traits than on his friend who was far too cartoonish to take her seriously.

Elsa was the next target. Seriously, what did people have against the girl! “Elsa’s not mean, she’s just not as wild as you are. But you’d be surprised what she can do.” He was certain Elsa could be fun. And that was not just he being unable to speak ill of someone, even less a friend. He’d rather not tell Frank he agreed with Elsa though about the auction.

To anyone else, this amount of food was astronomical. To Frank, it was just a snack. She would attack the main course soon no doubt. It was also when she lost him. “You saw candy spiking the punch?” Oh. A guy. A tall one, in love with a girl and friend with a tough guy because they.... killed people? “Wait, no, I’m not following you anymore. What? You mean like in a game? I think your brain is still with Barry in front of your console.” It would somehow explain a lot.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"And you don't think that's evil?" Frank asked, gasping in surprise. "just think of all the horrible food they've created! And how many taste buds have died from their evil machinations!" Frank trembled at the thought, and swore that the trembling made the frosting smell all the stronger, which nearly had her doing a few more circles to try and figure out where it was coming from.

But no, they had to talk about Elsa first. "She's so mean! She bans me from places and shows up whenever I'm about to do something. It's like, like there's some big Fate thing that's just manipulating us and making sure I don't have fun by dropping her right wherever I want to have fun and if it's not her it's the cat or the one lady with the boobs or sometimes you but that's okay because we're friends and the one time it was Drew and either this Fate's really busy or there's actually a lot strange things going on."

And Frank has to stop to breathe and, coincidentally, let Franck get a few words in edgewise. "Nuh uh! There's a conspiracy, Franck! It's all evil! And i know I smell frosting!" Frank began ducking her head and spinning then, becoming in a few seconds one of those small yappy dogs chasing their tail.

[François Laffont]

It took a moment for Franck to understand what she was getting on. Because hippies did not equal evil in his head. But she mentioned food and he really should have thought of it sooner. “Organic food evil? Because I bought some before and I don’t think I changed too much.” It was not like he started to believe her but it was always so hard for Franck not to fall for her antics. Beyond the fact he was an empath and found it hard not to end up in the same state as she was, their friendship had given him yet another reason to keep playing along with whatever crazy idea that came to her mind. Because of that, he might really start wondering if the strawberries he took from them might not have been poisoned. Even if it would have worked on him a long time ago had it been the case.

“Alright, she’s not as much fun as you. But she has to, she’s the one having to run so many things, she has to maintain the order around. Besides, she should be here right now and I’m pretty sure you can have fun. Don’t be too hard on her,” he said, ready to admit Frank was right but not ready to let Elsa be treated like this without taking her defense as well. They were both his friends after all, he could not let one insult the other. Even if he could understand why Elsa was so evil in Frank’s opinion. Something told him Elsa could take it and even accept being evil for that. Someone had to, like he said.

He laughed as she kept going about frosting. “You said it yourself, they have cakes and cupcakes. Of course there’s frosting. But I think you’ve had enough for today.”

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

Frank's eyes went wide. "No, Franck! You fell for their evil tricks!" She reached out and grabbed his shoulders. "You'll be perverted by their organic foods stuff and start wearing trendy second hand clothing and beanies and glasses and liking bands before they became cool and popular and all sorts of just horrible things!" Frank let go of Franck, mostly so she could wave her arms in what was obviously a sign of panic. yeah, there was a bit about Elsa and all, but Frank didn't really have the time to focus on the enemy of all things fun and enjoyable right now. They had organic food to worry about and, well, the frosting thing.

"But it's here!" Frank said, pausing and stopping. "Like, I can smell it, like, right here," Frank said, pointing. She sniffed again, before leaning forward. "Franck, I think you might smell like frosting. I don't think that's an organic food thing that's infected your body and might be turning you into a gay hipster or something, but it's possible. You should probably let me, like, eat some of your hair or something."

And this is why Frank started edging closer to her friend, lurching up on her toes, mouth moving as she attempted to get closer and closer to the obviously delicious and frosting scented hair. (It may also offer an opportunity for Franck to notice that there was, in fact, frosting hidden behind Frank's ear, and that was just the visible bits).

[François Laffont]

Franck startled and if he did not hit a ceiling or something it probably was because Frank was holding on to him and somehow it was enough weight to keep his feet on the ground. Because the way she jumped at him in terror because he ‘fell for their evil tricks’ really was this close of giving him a heart attack. It seemed Frank had yet realised how jumpy her best friend can be. “What? Don’t be ridiculous. Unless hippie becomes trendy, you really see me wearing that? Even if it does, you see me wearing that?” Franck didn’t particularly enjoy pointing out how vain he could be when it came to his looks but if that could reassure her that he would never wear second-hand clothes and even less a beanie hat, he would say it. She was too panicked right now and the last thing he wanted was to end up like that. Once she let go of him, despite how terrible that would be for him, he ended up the one holding her shoulders. “Frank, please. Calm down. They won’t turn me in anything. I know you wouldn’t let them, right?” His voice had more panic in it than he wanted it to but it had to be expected. Until she calmed down, it would only get worse.

Frosting did an even better job at casting her panic aside. That didn't mean she was calm though and now Franck was both panicked and vibrating because of frosting. A weird mix that must have been even weirder to look at. “What! Eat my hair? No way. I didn't even have cake yet, it’s gotta be someone else. Probably you.” And to prove that point, Franck started smelling her. “Yes, that is definitely you.” And he reached for her ear and with a finger got most of the frosting from there.

Franck inspected said colourful frosting, a puzzling frown on his face. It was not the first time he had that one while being with Frank but it might just be the most puzzling one he had in forever. “How did you achieve that?” Was Frank eating with her ears too now? He knew she needed a lot of food but he thought her mouth was enough to supply all of it.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Yes! Because they would be brainwashing you into thinking it was cool and all. And you'd be smoking! Haven't you seen the videos!" and this would likely explain why Franck would find his inbox flooded with links to after school specials in a few days. Frank might not precisely remember why she'd send them, and Franck would probably just spend a few minutes with his face in his palm and wondering if he should've sedated Frank a little earlier, but they would definitely be there.

"I'll save you!" Frank practically shouted, waving her arms emphatically. "And it starts with my eating your hair to get at the--" Frank paused, mostly because Franck's hands had come up instead. Frank froze mid-gesture, keeping her hands as still as if she'd been tagged during an intense game of freeze tag. Her eyes were the only things that moved, following Franck's movements ad he reached up and took it.

"YOU MAKE FROSTING NOW?" Frank shouted this time. She lunged for the finger, seeming to just barely stop herself from biting and making Franck Franck of the Nine Fingers. "That's amazing! Wait, what?" Frank looked at him. "Whaddaya mean how did I... you're the one who made the amazing frosting!" she gestured at his finger, which held the proof at the tip. "And it looks delicious. Kinda like the cakes I sort of remember eating..."

[François Laffont]

“Videos, what videos?” Franck asked, suspicious as to which one of them smoked something. Still, his voice started to take on the same tone as Frank’s. They were unfolding a conspiracy, he had to take the proper tone now that his emotions started to let him fall into that. Away from her, he’d just laugh at this. For now, he was too much into that for it to happen. “Me, smoking? You have to be kidding me. You know I wouldn’t. Besides, who wants to kiss a smoker? You imagine the breath I would have.” Now, Franck started to sound like those bitchy gay stereotypes you get in those sitcoms but that didn’t seem to be something he noticed. In fact, the way he frowned and looked disgusted at the thought of this breath and how he swatted the air as if to chase it away only made him look even more like the stereotype.

Franck would do everything to save his hair. Frank could mess with his hair. She could ruffle them, comb them, even put little butterfly clips in them if she wanted. But she better not eat them. There was a line not to cross after all. Luckily, the solution came on its own when he noticed the frosting behind her ear. How she could put some there was beyond him. It was amazing how he could still be amazed by the things she did. He would have thought he’d be used to it by now. But no.

He startled when she yelled. He was easily startled so this was no exploit but that didn’t stop him from startling and looking at her with some fear in his eyes for a second. It made him not move his finger despite the danger that was Frank’s mouth coming closer to it. She was like a shark and the frosting was definitely blood. “As much as I’d like, and I’m sure my boyfriend would like it even more, I am not making this. Are you sweating frosting all of a sudden?” No wait, that did not make sense. Franck forced himself to calm down, to use his head again despite all of the excitement he got from Frank. It allowed him to pick up what she said last. “See? It’s your doing. You must have had some on your fingers and you... replaced hair behind your ear?”

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"The videos," Frank helpfully supplied before waving her hands a few more times at this point. "AND THEY'RE CLOVE CIGARETTES!" Frank grabbed Franck's shirt to give him another shake. Clearly he wasn't taking this nearly seriously enough: "That's like catnip for gay hipsters! Catnip! Have you seen what that does to cats? Just drop some in front of that one staff member and he goes nuts!" Frank waved an arm again. "You'll be rubbing against everything and every--actually, we might want to get you some clove cigarettes..."

Which was actually something of a French stereotype, right? Frank was already drifting closer though, mostly because she could still smell that frosting and all. Which of course required some more yelling and hand waving and talk about sweating frosting and how that would've made a boyfriend happy and...

"I don't know, "Frank said, tapping her finger to her chin again. "I do remember diving into cake? Maybe that happened? It's all kinda blurring." Frank waved a hand for a moment, then paused to stare at it for a while. After several seconds of silence, she leaned over to Franck: "Do you see three hands too? Or is it just me?"

[François Laffont]

Apparently, those videos were so obvious that he should have known about them. Except he did not. As for clove cigarettes. Wait, what? “They make that?” Franck asked with disbelief. Somehow, he didn’t think they’d taste that good. Then again, normal cigarettes didn’t taste good so he could not be sure. What he was certain of however was that he wanted to try clove cigarettes as much as he wanted to eat a mudcake. Frank was certain he would end up doing that and become a gay hipster. Or was it catnip cigarettes that made him that? He could not follow her anymore. “Catnip?” But she was already going on about the fact that maybe he should have that to rub against... “No. Frank, no,” Franck said quickly. That girl was far too interested in what and who he was rubbing against.

“I don’t need clove cigarettes to do all the rubbing I want, ok? Plus, I think it’s something Jasper should care more than you,” he told her. He knew that would not stop her. To her, he really should get all the rubbing from everyone. Great, now he started to think like her! His thoughts were all over the place but he tried his best to remain the level-headed one, since there really was only him to be that around here.

“Turn around a minute,” Franck told her, even making the movement with a finger. He pulled some of her hair away from her ear and got what remained of frosting there, making sure that was nothing left. “You might want to wash your hair tonight,” he said, although he believed it was obvious, with frosting most certainly in them.

Franck frowned, although not only because he was puzzled but also out of amusement. “How can you forget that? Are you taking your fantasies for reality again?” And then she had to say one very scary thing. “Okay, I think we will sit down and get someone to look at you,” Franck said as he gently placed his hands on her shoulder and directed her to the nearest seat he could get. Was seeing three hands normal when you had too much sugar? Even so, he figured it might be best she sat down before she sent those three hands flying in people’s face and ended up taking a few eyes out by accident.