Piñata Murder

[Akeem Ten-Amen]

Akeem was walking around with a piñata under his arm. It might be important to mention that it was not his piñata nor did he intend to use it for a future party. He just found it in front of his door when he walked out of his room. A bright colored donkey with a sombrero, staring right at him. He stared back at it, then looked around at the empty corridor. Who put that there and why? There was no note stating it was for him so it might as well be for one of his roommate. Or someone found it in front of their door and, not wanting it, tossed it there so it would be his problem.

Once he realised there was no one checking out what his reaction would be, he decided to take a closer look at it. He half-expected it to blow in his face as he kneeled in front of it and poked it with a finger. But it didn’t blow up. He pushed it. There was something in it, he was sure. It was too heavy to be empty. Then again, he never had a piñata before so what did he know. Something inside of him told him he should open it and see what was inside. But he was also afraid of what he might find in there. So he decided to hold it and since it still didn’t blow up or anything, he figured it was safe enough to go and get rid of it.

He did think about sending it back to the office, claiming it was not his and all but he doubted they would do anything about it, other than shrug and tell him to enjoy the gift. So Akeem had two options: place it at someone’s door and let it be someone else’s problem or destroy. Destroying it sounded like a really nice option.

He walked the halls of the south wing with that donkey in his arm, ignoring any look it might give him and headed towards the roof. What better way to break a piñata than test the laws of physics, no? It was his opinion. Mostly because, in case it was something bad in it, he wouldn’t be near while it spilled on the floor. And if it was candy well... who cared about candy? He almost skipped his way up the stairs leading to the roof. It was a beautiful day outside but it was always windy up there. Still, nothing that should have him worry so he walked to the edge and looked down. He might not care if people were splashed by the content of the piñata, provided it was not him, but he didn’t want to throw it on someone’s head either. He moved to avoid a group of people and found a spot without anyone. He raised the piñata in his hands, ready to throw it down and cause the end of it.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" was the sound of the overdramatic yell/moan/cry that erupted from the blonde girl who seemed to jump out of the stairwell and onto the roof. Her hair had been done in a set of twin pigtails with a fair amount of ribbon and both waved almost dangerously as she struck a pose, sticking a finger out at poor Akeem.

"I cannot allow you to murder a poor, helpless pinata like that!" she cried out. "Well," Frank pulled her hand down, tilting her head to the side, "technically, like, the whole purpose of a pinata is to be murdered for the enjoyment and all, and that one doesn't look like an authentic Mexican one, so it probably doesn't have the good stuff but that doesn't matter!"

Frank threw her hands and then took another step forward. This time she alternated, swaying so she could thrust the other index finger out toward the young man in a very authoritative manner. "I cannot allow you to murder that pinata and," Frank leaned forward, "maybe hurt some people down there are you even looking? But, seriously," Frank waved, "bring the pinata over here. We gotta do that thing right," and Frank nodded most seriously, as one did when discussing the true fate of pinatas.

[Akeem Ten-Amen]

Akeem could have dropped that stupid donkey with the jump this cry caused. He quickly turned towards the door leading to the stairwell and back inside the school. It had been previously closed and he did not hear it open, though it sort of makes sense if she started screaming just as she opened the door. Because it was not a banshee that made that sound, it was a girl, although she could very well be both, he was debating about this. The fact remained that she screamed a long no and being the only other one there, he assumed it was for him. And since he didn’t know the girl, he figured it had to do with the thing in his hands. The girl had something very cartoon-esque about her, only enhanced by her hairstyle.

He looked down at the piñata as she refused for him to murder the thing. “It’s it what you’re supposed to do? Break it into pieces?” Akeem never had one for any party before but he still had enough notions about it to know its purpose. The girl seemed to admit that you were indeed supposed to destroy that thing but she didn’t look ready to let him do just that. “That’s what I intend to do’” he told her. It was not like he had a stick to hit it with, or some means to hand it so he could hit it.

But she refused to let him just throw it. His sigh nearly turned into a groan as he looked back at the girl. Of course he checked that he would not hit someone with it! Splash someone was of no concern to him but he would not throw it on someone’s head. Not from this distance, not without knowing what was inside. “You want it? Fine, it’s all yours,” he said, tossing it her way. All he wanted was to get rid of the thing. Whether it was by throwing it on the ground or giving it to her, he could not care less.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Yesss, but you gotta do it right," Frank replied, adding a slight roll of her eyes. "This isn't that hard, seriously." Frank shook her head, more out of pity than anything. What kind of person didn't know how to properly operate a pinata? Clearly this guy had missed out on an awful lot of birthday fun time, and Frank couldn't help but want to hug him or throw a party or---

"Incoming donkey!" she said as her brain processed what Akeem was doing. Her reflexes kicked in and she dove forward to snatch it out of the air. Of course, Frank, being Frank, literally dove, and soon found herself rolling a few feet on the ground, pinata clutched to her chest.

Panting, Frank looked up and around her. "Wow, that was close," She said, shifting to look at the guy. "You seriously need, like, pinata handling class, dude. That was so not Raven," Frank shifted again, but was finding the whole getting up while still holding onto the pinata thing kinda difficult. She was mostly sort of wobbling about, kind of like a turtle or a fat old person.

[Akeem Ten-Amen]

Akeem rolled his eyes at the blonde fury. Doing it right? Who cared? “Whoever gave it to me forgot to add the stick to hit it with,” he replied, his tone showing just how stupid he considered all this discussion to be. Maybe he should add that it was filled with an unknown substance. Sure, you were not necessarily supposed to know what was inside, being part of the fun of tearing it apart and everything, but you normally expected something, like candy. He didn’t ask for a piñata and didn’t think he was close enough of anyone here to receive one from them. Or, to be precise, he had no friend who’d think of it as a nice gift. He was not Mexican, he was Egyptian, so it was not a cultural thing. And anyone who might dislike him and choose to send something nasty to him wouldn’t do so in a rainbow-colored donkey. Of course, it could have been a gift to one of his roommates but without a note, he just assumed he had the right to dispose of it the way he saw fit. And that was by throwing it down the roof.

Or send it to a young and crazy blond girl. Who dove like she was a football player catching the ball or something. The image came to him and for one minute, he seriously expected her to yell out of victory as she stood up before throwing the piñata on the ground. Of course, that would certainly result in damaging the thing quite a bit but she decided it was her problem so Akeem was washing his hands on the outcome.

She did not throw it on the ground. She rolled over while keeping it close to her chest, like it was precious or whatever. He raised an eyebrow at her comment. “So not Raven? Who says that kind of thing?” he let out. It took him some time to catch the reference, the show obviously not being something he ever cared to watch when it played on television but something his sister might have glanced at in the past. He made a few steps closer to her but since he still feared what was in that piñata, he kept a reasonable distance between them. It could still blow up and it won’t on him.

Feeling like he should at least warn her, he nodded in direction of the thing. “I have no idea what’s inside. You break it and don’t like the content, it’s all on you.” True, Akeem was a little curious but he was mostly cautious. He didn’t want to risk being covered in slime. Candy was not worth taking the risk. He stood there, watching her wiggle her way up. This girl was odd, like really odd. “You can put it on the ground, you know?” he felt like advising her. Eh, at least it was funny to watch.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Sticks are everywhere," Frank retorted. "Sure, they're not, like, official pinata hitting sticks, but they're still around," she gestured with one hand while still clutching the pinata (assuming that bit of conversation happened while she was still holding it; things get a little fuzzy sometimes with that liquid time and all). Frank was still narrowing her eyes at this guy, trying to figure him out.

He didn't look familiar either: "I don't know you..." was how Frank worded it, before tilting her head to the side to try and get another look at him. No, that really didn't help either. She adjusted her grip on the pinata, trying to figure out who this crazy person was and why he wanted to harm innocent pinatas without knowing what was in side.

"Obviously I say that kind of things!" Frank pointed out. "I say all kinds of things! Kumquat!" Frank's eyes got wide and she rolled her head a bit as if to further add to the whole crazy vibe that she was clearly contemplating. She adjusted her grip on the donkey again. "And I can't put him on the ground. You'll get all weird and maybe try to throw him at someone or you'll turn out to have, like, pinata exploding powers or--

"PINATA-KINESIS!" Frank said, her eyes wide. "That's your power, isn't it? You control pinatas with your mind? Don't look into his eyes!" Frank covered the pinata with one hand, twisting to further protect him from the evil pinata sorcerer.

[Akeem Ten-Amen]

She didn’t know him. Well, he didn’t know her either. It was not like he asked his roommates to fill him in on all the people he had to know around here and what happened. Even if he did, he doubted some crazy piñata lover would be amongst those worth knowing about. He supposed she could be cute, if she could stand still for a minute. But she had to come out with the craziest of things to say and the craziest of things to do. Who cared so much about piñatas anyway? Was she the one who put it in front of his door? Certainly not or she would have told him so already. Right?

He didn’t need her to further prove how she said anything she wanted, he already figured that out on his own. Who was this girl and how come she was not institutionalized? Obviously she forgot to take her meds today. He was the one who ended up with wide eyes as she claimed he could control piñatas. It took him a moment to blink but when he did, he did it several times, too shocked by her to actually say anything.

He recovered however. This girl was crazy. Plain and simple. “I’m afraid I don’t have anything this magnificent,” he let out, his tone slow as he poured all the sarcasm he could in each syllable. Piñata-kinesis. What the hell? He would seriously pity the one person who’d end up with a power such as this. They landed on the lamest one possible.

“I’m not going to touch it, I promise. It’s all yours and so is the fun of discovering what is inside of it,” he promised her, raising his hands to show he was harmless. That is, if she actually bothered to look. He preferred not to point out that if he could not control that donkey, she could control her. But who would want that?

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Awww, that sounded like such a cool power!" Frank said, pouting slightly. She did let her hand drop from the pinata's eyes, because obviously it didn't need her protection if the guy didn't have the power that would make it do weird things or anything along those lines. The guy was walking forward now though, and seemed to be holing up his hands or what not.

"You did promise," Frank agreed, nodding. "Why, did you, like," Frank held it up, "want to say goodbye to it or something? I'm not sure it'll really miss you if you were going to straight up murder it in the most heinous of ways. That's not going to fulfill its purpose in life."

Frank made the pinata dance a little before thrusting its head forward. A squeaky voice with a fairly decent Mexican accent soon came from the general direction of the pinata (and girl holding it): "Why did you want to murder me in a way that wouldn't fulfill my life's purpose? Do you hate pinatas? Did one molest you as a child? did you have a sad time birthday party?" Frank stuck her head from around the pinata. "That would totally suck," The pinata's head bobbed: "Si."

Oh, and Frank was the voice of the pinata. Just in case that wasn't obvious.

[Akeem Ten-Amen]

Cool power, yeah sure. Not likely. “Kind of limited though, no?” Akeem started to consider leaving her alone with her donkey. It would be safer. Otherwise, he might just get dragged into her insane world and who knows if he’ll ever come out of it. Akeem had his feet firmly sunk into reality, at least he liked to think so. This girl, she was everything except reality.

The best proof of that was that she acted as if the piñata was an actual person. One he could control and needed to say goodbye too before killing it. “It’s not mine alright,” he objected, wanting to stay as far away from this thing, especially now that it seemed to have some sort of life purpose or something. She loved the thing, so he had to stay away from it. “Someone just left it at my door. What was I supposed to do?” Probably many other thing than just throw it from the roof but it had been his choice nonetheless. Although leaving it to her was also quite acceptable for him.

He blinked. This girl was insane. Clearly. She was not impersonating the piñata! Worse, she even talked to it! Who did that!? Her Mexican accent was... well, he’d rather not think about it, or what she said to him through that thing. Now he really needed to get away, before getting warped into this. “I never had a piñata party,” he let out first but he somehow doubted it would do any good to admit that. “I don’t open anonymous gifts. Who knows what’s inside that thing,” he argued, pointing at the donkey. It could be candy. It could be drugs, in a very stupid Mexican cliché. Or it could be something bad that would attack him the moment he breaks it. Either way, he didn’t want to try.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Limited can be fun!" Frank shot back. That was of course before talk about ownership of the pinata and all that, because naturally she wanted to make sure that got out there and she did still happen to be quite good at sliding words into conversations at just the right point in time. The guy seemed determined now to disown the pinata, which struck Frank as almost being suspicious.

"So first you wanted to murder it, now you don't want anything to do with it?" She questioned, her eyes narrowing. She adjusted the pinata so that it pointed a hoof accusingly at Akeem, even giving it a slight thrust. The whole experience must have shaken him, because he was looking scared now. She could tell it on his blinking eyes and crazy features.

"You've never had a---" Frank sputtered. "Can you believe that?" she asked the pinata. "No, senorita, it's very sad," she replied in the pinata voice. "He thinks you're filled with drugs," Frank continued, tapping the nose of the pinata, "oh, no, I'm not filled with drugs. Everyone knows that drug pinatas are mean and nasty, but I'm good.

"See?" Frank said, turning back to look at the guy. "it's filled with delicious goodies! But you'll never experience that, because you're scared," Frank nodded knowledgeably, totally convinced of her own rightness.

[Akeem Ten-Amen]

Limited didn’t sound fun at all. If he was to control inanimate objects, he’d rather it to be any objects, not a colorful papered thing. What use could he had anyway at making piñatas move around to his will? He saw none. Of course, she proved to him in very few minutes that she was not thinking like him or any sane person he knew of so she had to think it was a cool power worth having. It actually made him wonder if she didn’t have some lame power herself that could really be of no use.

“Pretty much, yeah,” he answered her. And he was not seeing anything bad in it. He just wanted to get rid of it. He was still a little curious as to what might be inside but he couldn’t see it being anything good, as he knew no one who would give him something wrapped up inside a piñata. If this was full of flour or bugs or anything bad, he’d rather it blew up away from him. And if it was candy, well he didn’t like them enough to try and reclaim the thing from her. Although he was not sure she wanted to break it so much as marry it right now.

She kept talking to the piñata, discussing his case. This was surreal. He eyed towards the door. To reach it, she would obviously notice him walking pass her and he was hoping to get away without her adding anything to it. He was thinking that as she said this piñata was too nice to be carrying drugs. Or more like the piñata said that. “Ever heard of don’t judge a book by its cover?” He let out. But why was he even trying?

He didn’t like she claimed he was scared. He was not scared. His jaw clenched and he tried to calm down before pointing at the donkey. “Then why don’t you give it a shot and see what’s inside?” He bet he was right to not want anything to do with it.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"What--" Frank said, her head tilting the side. "That's totally stupid! Of course you judge a book by its cover! That's how you can tell which ones are sexy," she leaned forward, "they show shirtless men hugging each other," she nodded conspiratorially before giving him a few winks and leaning back. She wasn't sure what else he could possibly be referencing with that comment after all, and she stroked the pinata as she kept listening.

"Because you have to do it right. Weren't you listening?" Frank held up the pinata, speaking in its "voice" again. "You have to hang me up and get a bunch of people," Frank interjected in her normal voice: "Preferably hopped up on candy already," now pinata voice: "Si, and then you blindfold one and give him a steeck. Then he take the steek and he start swinging.

"And when he hits the pinata," Frank said in her normal voice, giving the sides of the pinata two slaps at the same time. "And boom!" she brought them out. "Candy everywhere." Frank sighed, looking up at the sky. "It's glorious..."

[Akeem Ten-Amen]

Sexy books, right. Because you know a book is interesting judging by the level of sexy it looks. He supposed that explained why Fifty Shades became so popular. Although the cover didn’t look interesting at all. Those books... he had never been interested in those and found it hilarious that a bunch of girls suddenly found out they loved feeling pain thanks to them. Of course, they needed a whatever-the-guy-was-called to feel the pain with but that only made it all the more ridiculous.

“And why do you think I want to read a book with two shirtless men hugging each other on the cover?” Wait, she didn’t think...? No, no. That was impossible. She said that just because that’s what she’d like to see. That was crazy, he’d figure she would prefer a guy who’d prove to be straight but he supposed that if she could not have this fictional character anyway, she might as well give him all the reasons why he wouldn’t be with her. He had to try and think crazy to understand her, this sounded crazy enough.

“Yeah, I wish I had a stick right now,” he mumbled under his breath. And the piñata might not be the one feeling the most of it. “I know how we do it,” he felt like arguing with her but at the same time he highly doubted she was listening to him. She was too busy talking to the donkey.

“When don’t you have your piñata party then?” Yeah, she could have it. And then have the bad surprise of finding out it was not filled with candy. He wondered what would be funnier to see come out of the piñata. There were just so many possibilities. It would really be boring if it was filled with candy all along.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Uh, because it's sexy and therefore awesome?" Frank said, using the same tone you used when explaining something super awesome to people who just weren't getting it. she even gave him a look that seemed to doubt his intelligence for a few seconds. "Clearly we're going to have to work on your fun having and understanding the world." There was something in the way Frank said that which should be somewhat ominous. one only had to ask Ellen Banks what happened when Frank made proclamations like that to truly understand.

"Well then," Frank said, before grabbing the pinata and working her way back around to Akeem. "we should totes hook up and do the party thing. Well," she tilted her head, "not, like, hook up hook up, but hook up as in look each other up and get things set up to do the party. 'cuz I so wanna do one because they're awesome, as we've already said, and you so need to do one so you can experience the awesome."

Frank's head bobbed again and she pointed once with each hand holding the pinata. "win/win," she grinned and tapped him with her elbow again. "eh, eh, you up for it? Whatever you said your name was?"

[Akeem Ten-Amen]

Sexy and awesome, two shirtless men hugging? If she was into that kind of stuff. Apparently, some girls found it really hot, even though it was gayporn. Maybe because usual porn involved a woman and they didn't want to see that. Not like Akeem really bothered to understand that. For once it was not a thing only this weird creature was doing but just because she admitted to having an interest over something that could remotely be considered as normal did not mean he believed her to be. The worst part was that he was the one appearing for the crazy one in her eyes.

“I can assure you I have all the fun I need without having to look at shirtless guys,” he responded. He didn't want her around him any longer, let alone help him have fun. He was actually afraid what ‘fun, meant in her world. Normally, he’d get rid of someone like this by just walking away. But that would mean getting past her and he would prefer to keep a good distance between them.

An idea had come to her mind already, sadly for him. Now, he had to enjoy a piñata party, because he said he never had any. Oh great. He should have known this would be held against him. She loved the word awesome, clearly. Some said ‘like’ every ten seconds. She said awesome. Almost made him want to say it too, with far more irony than she used. “I’m fine with parties but I am not standing near that thing when it blows up,” he said, referring to that blasted piñata she just couldn’t stop holding like it was precious or something. There was no win/win situation for him here. More like a lose/lose.

“I didn't tell you,” he said as she talked of his name, not telling her any more now. He might not be the hardest to find information about but he was not going to make it easy on her. He touched the papered donkey and gently pushed it towards her chest. “I gave it to you. It’s all yours, for your party and everything in it is yours too.” And if a roommate of his complained about missing a piñata, well he was not the one who broke. Having zero responsibility felt so great.