{SCE} Just Remember to Relax...

[Corey Spencer]

"Just remember to relax."  Spence said quietly as he peered through the binoculars at the small target that was nailed to a tree roughly 100 meters away.  One of the reasons the 'troubled' students were selected for this excursion was hopes that a change of scenery would help them open up.  Or something like that.  Spence wasn't a psychiatrist, even though he knew some people (himself included) had needed help at some point in their lives.  There was no shame in admitting it, no shame in seeking it out.  Spence had been ordered to therapy himself during his career in the Army and had seen many good soldiers crippled by wounds no one could see.  While he would debate the methods the Academy happened to be using, the goal here was, at the very least, to try and find some common ground.  And if Spence was able to break out his civilian model SCAR-L assault rifle for some practice, then all the better.

At the moment Spence, and one of the students had been labelled 'problematic' were laying in the brush on a stretch of flat, grassy terrain.  He'd secured the vaguely person-shaped silhouetted target to a tree at a distance that would be a challenge, without being impossible.  He would probably be chastised if the board of directors knew he'd handed a student with a history of violence or acting out a chambered, 7.62 caliber assault rifle but he really didn't care.  He'd always found something oddly therapeutic about shooting and, if anything, he figured it would show the student he had a certain amount of trust.

"Alright.  Make sure you've got you stable base."  Spence lowered the binoculars and looked over the student to make sure their prone shooting position was satisfactory.  His eyes traveled along the teenager's body, checking the lines and angles for proper form.  He nodded a little and shifted some, bringing the binoculars up so he could get an up close look at the target.  "Just like I showed you."  He directed, his tone low.  "Exhale, hold, switch the weapon to semi and pull the trigger."

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina had steeled herself for this, but the further they’d gotten from camp, the more on-edge she’d become. They were alone. Spencer was a male figure of authority. Her history didn’t allow her to relax for a second. Selina had almost died at the hands of a man his size, and she’d been sexually assaulted by a male teacher when she’d been caught unawares and alone. Spencer was stronger than she was, more experienced, and much bigger. He would have every advantage in a fight, and he also knew how to work the rifle that she was currently aiming at a tree. Selina couldn’t get any tenser if she’d tried. Being told to relax was laughable.


    Back when she’d found out that he’d expected her to be prone on the ground, Selina had almost flat-out refused. She wasn’t getting into a position so vulnerable with anybody around, much less a male teacher. She’d had to remind herself that he wasn’t technically a teacher, but nonetheless her entire body had gone rigid, her face an unreadable mask. She’d forced herself to do as he’d said and had focused on learning the weapon instead of on the man next to her. Show no fear. Weakness could be taken advantage of. They most certainly weren’t in any war zone, but Selina was preparing herself for battle all the same.


    Selina swallowed her fear and purposefully focused on her rage instead. Rage was painful, exhausting, and sometimes dangerous, but she’d take anger over fear almost every single time. Fear may have helped her to remain alert and to be cognizant of every movement this man had made but anger shut most of it down. Anger narrowed her vision to focus only on what was directly in front of her, however that was a chance she was willing to take. This man had done nothing yet that seemed suspicious, so she was going to picture every person she’d ever hated or feared pinned to that tree and she was going to shoot.


    Selina’s anger was cold. Her tense muscles slowly started to ease as her rage allowed her a singular purpose. Eliminate the target. She followed his instructions to the letter and fired.

[Corey Spencer]

The shot rang out through the quiet forest, stirring a few birds from their nests nearby. Spence let out a low sigh as the bullet struck the tree just a few inches from the target, sending bark splintering off to the side. He frowned a little. It wasn't bad but he expected better. He always did. The girl who'd taken him up on his offer to shoot had done so, he believed, with hesitation. He felt the tension coming off her from the moment they stepped away from camp and found themselves in the wilderness alone. The big man wasn't going to make any assumptions but it was obvious right from the start she held a certain mistrust for him. Beneath the pretty, relaxed demeanor a great deal of anger seethed. Spence could sense it a mile away and that had shown in her shot.

"Anger has no place on the battlefield." He said quietly, lowering the binoculars and casting a short glance in Selina's direction. "An angry shooter is one prone to mistakes." It was a common misconception that one had to operate with hatred and rage when navigating a war when that assumption couldn't have been further from the truth. "You were close, though." He said, wanting to give her encouragement. She had done well for not having handled an assault rifle of this sort. Her posture was solid, her grip firm and in place. She took direction perfectly. All in all, Spence was impressed. "Take a couple breaths." He directed, his tone low. "Try again and this time, no emotion. Cold, calculated, clean. No hatred, anger, anything. Just you and the target."

And with that he returned to peering through the binoculars. "Fire when ready."

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina heard what he’d said, but she hesitated. Letting go of her anger meant she had to face her fear and she wasn’t sure if she was capable of that right now. Supplanting one emotion with another wasn’t the best way of coping, but fear was paralyzing. Anger had a certain energy to it that could be used to get things done, even if not done well. Selina almost pulled away and stood, but that would be admitting defeat of sorts, and her pride wouldn’t allow that. So she took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her inner turmoil.


    Once stirred, her hatred was difficult to silence, but she tried. The cardboard cutout became a target once more instead of a projection of her past. She could do this. Giving into fear was unforgivable in her own mind. Particularly in front of someone else. She would do this. Selina’s self-talk was slowly getting her to where she needed to be. Picturing her favorite sensei in her mind also helped her to get back into focus.


    She’d had lots of practice from martial arts in clearing her head and remembering her teachers’ caution that anger made a fight dangerous helped her to regain her ground here. Giving into your emotions in the middle of a duel would lead to injuries, either your own or the other person’s. It was not only irresponsible but unacceptable. She’d worked through this type of thing many times before, but only ever with a female instructor. Her panic and her fear had helped her to forget one of the most basic things she’d been taught, and for a brief moment, she felt shame for her slip in control.


    Selina took a few more deep breaths, unaware of how much time had or had not gone by. When she’d gotten where she needed to be for aikido, she aimed once more. Her muscles relaxing further now that they weren’t tight with the strain of added emotion. She went through the now familiar steps and exhaled before pulling the trigger once more.

[Corey Spencer]

Once again the sound from the rifle echoed through the trees. This time, the girl's aim was true. The 7.62 round found its mark, embedding itself into the tree behind the target, a clean hole where the silhouette's throat would be. Spence couldn't help a smile as he peered through the binoculars. "He's not walking away from that." He said with an approving nod. Even though it had taken a little time for the girl to settle herself to the point where she could fire clear headed the results showed.

"That breathing technique." Yes. Spence had even noticed that. He was well trained to pick out the small stuff. It didn't hurt that it was rare to find the soldier who hadn't dabbled in some sort sort of martial art. While Spence's expertise resided within the realm of boxing and wrestling he'd known a number of soldiers who had practiced many of the more complicated and intricate arts. One, in particular, had used similar breathing exercises whenever under duress. Spence couldn't place it, exactly, but he knew it couldn't have been a coincidence. "What martial art do you study?" He asked curiously, figuring it a good way to start conversation.

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina smiled herself at her results. Probably the first time she’d smiled since being within three yards of the man. Selina glanced up at him in slight surprise that he’d noticed anything, particularly something as subtle as breathing… and then her mind came crashing back to the present and her first instinct was to tense, stand up, thank him and leave… but she didn’t. He’d been perfectly civil this entire time, and he hadn’t pressured her or tried to do anything… unsavory, so she decided to give him a chance. If a wary one.


    “I study Aikido,” she answered simply, her voice a bit rough from disuse. She hadn’t spoken since they’d left the camp and the majority of the time her jaw had been clenched shut, so getting used to talking again would take a little bit. She realized being with someone who didn’t speak might have been awkward, but she couldn’t really think of much else to say. Her every instinct was telling her to run the other way, and fighting that was taking up most of her energy, but she was actually willing to try. “And recently, I’ve just started learning the first katas in karate,” she added in an attempt to be slightly less stiff and unsociable. It was more than any male teacher figure had gotten from her in years, though he had no way of knowing that.

[Corey Spencer]

Spence studied the girl with a knowing eye. He'd spent the better part of ten years as a leader of men among one of the most diverse sub-cultures this country had to offer. Men and woman from all walks of life, from every corner of the world, from every background, social or economic class carrying all manner of stories of heartache, agony and heartache had entrusted their lives to him. And while he'd not failed in his duties as a leader, it was those few who he'd let down that hadn't made it back that stuck in his mind the most. The unfortunate soldier who made use of breathing techniques to remain calm was one such soul.

"Akido." He repeated, nodding thoughtfully. It sounded familiar and fell into place as he brought up memories of his fallen comrade. "That's impressive." He replied to Selina's talk of the new art she'd taken up. "I dabbled a little in a couple of the more technical martial arts, but not much. I wrestled in high school and picked up boxing in the Army." Spence spoke to the girl as if she was an equal. He wasn't attempting to pick up her spirits or humor her. He wasn't her father, older brother or even her teacher. He was just a paramedic who happened to have been trained in wilderness survival who'd been roped into overseeing a bunch of kids. Some of them, thankfully, seemed as though they had more going on upstairs than others. "I had a friend a long time ago who studied akido. That's how I recognized your breathing."

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina wasn’t so sure about being impressive, as she knew many who’d excelled in multiple fields of martial training while she was just barely learning her second, but she nodded to him regardless, “Thanks.” She wasn’t incapable of taking a compliment, even if she wasn’t exactly the most socially proficient at it. His being in the Army explained a bit, though she didn't think anyone outside the army would have open access to such powerful weaponry… or at least she hoped not. She hadn’t yet taken it upon herself to study much about America’s gun policies.

    "I always wanted to try boxing," she admitted with a half-smile, "but we could never afford it while I was taking my Aikido classes and I couldn't give up what I'd already started. Didn't want to either."

    Selina nodded once more when he mentioned her breathing, “My teacher wouldn’t allow us to practice without a clear head. Too many ways to injure ourselves and others,” she explained shortly. She hesitated before speaking again, wondering if he would take offense to her question, “To remember his habits so well… you were close?” she asked in curiosity. To be able to recall how a man breathed during duress was one hell of an impressive feat in her mind, but then it could have just been a soldier thing.

[Corey Spencer]

One of the first things a young Sergeant named Corey Spencer had learned about people is most responded well when sharing common interests. After making this obvious discovery Spence had taken it upon himself to learn whatever he could about his soldiers and their hobbies, lifestyles and backgrounds. His excursions taught him a great deal about the people he was supposed to lead as well as himself. The faint trace of a smile Selina turned up to him was just another reason why he'd taken pride in being as well-rounded as possible. "If you're interested, you're welcome to stop by the gym Fridays after the last class ends. I'm usually sparring then."

The question had Spence nodding faintly. His dark eyes turned to look out over the clearing in front of them as the memories came flooding back. He found it strange the little things you remembered about someone when they were gone. He smiled a little as he thought it over. "Corporal Joseph Ortiz." It had been so long since he'd uttered the name. "He was attached to my team during my second trip to Iraq. He was a reservist on his first tour. We spent four months driving around Baghdad." He chuckled lightly as he shifted a bit to prop himself up on his elbows as he spoke. "You'd be surprised how well you can get to know someone in that short amount of time. Ortiz was the luckiest son of a bitch I ever met. He took a shot to the kevlar while taking a piss. He'd just looked down to button up and the round hit him at just the right angle to bounce off his helmet. He had an RPG round land right as his feet. Should've taken him out then but it didn't go off." His head shook as a thin, almost wistful smile touched his lips. It wasn't the danger the soldier in question had made it through that brought about the fond memories, but the quiet hours spent in the small team traveling through the desert. "Survived three IED's without a scratch." His features grew stoic. "His luck ran out on the fourth one." The big man's eyes shifted to look at the girl.  "You just... sometimes remember the little things about someone after they're gone."

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina was slightly surprised by his offer, but she wouldn’t let such an opportunity slip by if he was serious. Besides, the gym was accessible to the public and caused her much less anxiety than being alone in the wilderness, “If you mean it, I’d definitely take you up on that.” If he was just being polite, she wouldn’t hold it against him.


    Selina sat up with her legs crossed in front of her as he started his story, relieved to be in a slightly less vulnerable position. She knew she was probably being slightly paranoid at this point, but her fear wouldn’t allow her tense muscles to ease again just yet. Although, when he drew a laugh from her while describing Ortiz’s skills for dodging a bullet to the head, her posture relaxed of its own accord and she found herself focusing more on his story than on her own discomfort. Spencer was slowly becoming more human to her skeptical mind and less of a potential enemy. And though her guard was still high, not every instinct was telling her to run for the hills.


    Selina didn’t understand all of his terms, both language and cultural barriers hindering her comprehension, but she understood the majority of it, and what she didn’t know she could almost guess by context. His honesty and openness was not what she’d been expecting, though she wasn’t sure what she’d thought would happen… this wasn’t it. Selina was genuinely starting to respect him, which was not something she could have ever foreseen.


    She met his eyes after he’d finished and nodded. Though she’d never had someone that close to her die, the things that brought Selina’s mother or her home country to mind were often small and seemingly insignificant. “I suppose that’s true,” she said quietly, thinking over his words for a while before glancing back at the tree she’d shot. “…And now you’re stuck watching over mutant delinquents in the wild,” she stated with a wry grin.

[Corey Spencer]

Spence was, by his very nature, a man of few words and subtle humility. He never bragged about his service, never bemoaned the sacrifices he and his fellow soldiers made and rarely, if ever, bothered to offer the information that he'd even served in the first place. He wasn't a hero, would never be a hero. Heroes did things they weren't used to. Stepped outside their normal scope of duty and responsibility. He was merely a man doing a job and he certainly wasn't one to flippantly toss out a story of his time downrange. Especially when it fell in with the more tragic experiences he'd had.

Something, he suspected, had affected Selina perhaps not too long ago. Maybe someone had hurt her, maybe she lost someone, maybe she saw someone hurt. He didn't know and couldn't put the pieces of her demeanor together well enough to guess. Whatever it was, he sensed tragedy in the girl's life. Through the years Spence found it was often the worst moments in someone's life that yields the strongest bonds. He wanted her to see he wasn't some mindless automaton sent by the Academy to keep watch over them. Spence was no councilor, hell, he wasn't even a teacher. He was just a paramedic now tasked with looking over kids unjustly labeled 'troubled'. Just the word alone was enough to bring a bad taste to his mouth. If they had done this while he was attending the Academy he was certain he'd be among the youths herded onto the bus against their will.

Carefully, sensing the tension of the girl and moving with slow, almost deliberate motions, Spence followed suit and pushed himself up to a sitting position. He remained aware of the space he gave her, not wanting to draw too close even on accident. "It's all about the chapters in your life." He said, a thing smirk touching his lips as he cast a glance in Selina's direction. "That one's over. It was time to start writing a new one." It sounded cliche but it was true. Even though he still felt the lingering, residual affects from his most recent trip abroad, Spence was content with his decision to leave it all behind for a new beginning at the Academy. He let his gaze drift out over the clearing Selina had been shooting across. "Sometimes it's hard to turn the page but believe me. It's possible."

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina looked up at the man, watching his every movement with cautious eyes and waiting for the first sign of hostility. She soon noticed that he was moving in the same way that she had around Olivia and a part of her was grateful for his understanding… while another part of her immediately shut down. How much had she given away? Selina tried to force rationality into her thoughts, but it was difficult when her effort to conceal her tension and fear had seemed to be for nothing. Not that she’d been doing a particularly good job of hiding anything, but she still felt the keen pain of defeat.


    So when he finished speaking, her answer was almost automatic, “Don’t you dare pity me,” she spat with a cold glare. Her defense mechanism was powerful and its response was immediate. Selina was used to others looking down on her and though he seemed more understanding than most she couldn’t force herself to trust his intentions just yet. She was also far more comfortable being at odds with an adult male. Hostility was the only way she knew how to react to them, although whether or not that hostility was verbalized depended on the situation.


    Besides, how could she even think of turning a single “page” when her past kept her in tight chains that she could never seem to leave behind, no matter how far she traveled. That Charity woman had openly admitted that even though the school had not found out about any of her recent infractions, she was still required to come here by the administration. Clearly no matter how much time passed, she would still be a “problem.” No matter what she did or didn’t do, she would always be followed by the actions that, up until now, had solely been a result of defending herself.


    Selina didn’t really do pity parties, but sometimes she couldn’t help hating the circumstances she’d been forced into. If they were so determined to see her as a problem, why not actually become one? Selina quickly pushed the thought from her mind, as she thought of her mother. She would give this another try. For her mom and Maria’s sake if for nothing else.

[Corey Spencer]

"I don't pity anyone who has a chance and a choice." Spence replied, his voice calm and honest. He wasn't truly sure what he was trying to accomplish with the young woman. He certainly wasn't qualified to comment on any condition or disorder she may or may not have, nor was he foolish enough to think anything that could linger this long into her life could be 'fixed' or sent away with a heart-to-heart talk with a stranger. His expertise was on keeping injured people alive. He worked on bodies, not minds.

"That you're here means you have a chance and that you're fighting means you made your choice." The big man's eyes shifted to look at the girl. He was the adult in this situation, yes, but he was no authority figure. He regarded every student on this trip as equals. He was there to ensure they remained safe, not to boss them around or attempt to get them to 'fall in line'. "Look, Miss Taylor." Yes, Spence had made it a point to learn the names of all the kids under his care. "I'm not a councilor. I'm not your teacher. I'm not here to tell you what to do and I'm certainly not trying analyze or dissect you. I'm just an EMT. I'm here to make sure you all get back home in one piece."

Spence would pause a moment to let that sink in. It didn't matter how many rockers or chevrons his uniform had while in the Army. Even the greenest private fresh from Basic was to be treated with the respect they deserved. The same held true here. Selina wasn't his subordinate. She was just a girl he thought could use some therapeutic time behind a rifle. "Now." He said, shifting to face the shooting 'range' they were using while bringing the binoculars up in preparation. "Why don't you get behind the rifle again and see if you can't make it two out of three?"

[Selina Taylor]

    Selina smirked at his chosen words. Her cynical mind immediately wondering how much choice the students forced to attend these places truly had, but she didn’t respond with her negativity this time. Selina didn’t regret how she’d replied earlier, but she was also trying not to be as judgmental and reckless. Selina glanced away from him for a brief second after he finished and sighed, “You... seem genuine,” she finally admitted. It was probably the closest thing to a compliment she could give him at this point. “I don’t really know how to deal with that,” she confessed frankly. He had defied everything she’d thought he would be.


    It wasn’t an apology but he had been forthright with her, so she allowed herself to be somewhat more straightforward with him. A bitter undercurrent that came all the way from Selina’s core being wanted her to lash out again, but she stopped herself this time. Her hatred was sometimes a poison that ate away at her, and at other times it was her only lifeline. It wasn’t something that she could truly control at this point in time, it merely was what it was and she had to deal with that on her own. She wasn’t looking to anybody for answers nor did she need or want to be ‘fixed.’ Selina knew better.


    The reason she’d come with him to learnt to shoot was actually quite simple, but she wasn’t sure she could tell him. This was merely her own attempt at better controlling her fear and anxiety around adult men, and she knew that limited exposure could sometimes help with that. Perhaps she was using him in a way, but she truly had expected nothing from him. If anything, she’d originally expected only harm and a further reason to hate to come from this, but he hadn’t yet fulfilled expectation in that regard... and she now allowed herself a vague hope that he wouldn’t.


    Selina looked him in the eye after he said her name and briefly wondered at his chosen way of presenting himself to her as she listened to what he had to say. “No, you’re not,” Selina agreed evenly. “But you are in a position of power, whether or not you believe so, Mr. Spencer, and I would be the one to pay the price if I failed to recognize that.” Selina’s voice was hard and unyielding, but not cold. “If it’s my word against yours, the academy will believe you every single time. There’s nothing that can change that.” Perhaps her past gave her a harsher view of such things, but she was no fool either.


    Selina then nodded and did as he suggested, though still highly uncomfortable with lying prone, and aimed for the exact same place on the target that she’d hit before. The calm mind frame that she needed came to her much quicker this time since she knew what she was doing. She also had less fear to conquer as he had become more of a neutral threat in her mind, and though she didn’t trust this man, she didn’t expect anything ill from him now either. Selina took her time to focus on the routine, to make sure she did everything the same as before. Then she took a few deep breaths, and waited for her last exhale to fire.

[Corey Spencer]

Spence offered a half smile at Selina's comment. He was used to shattering conventional thought on anything from his size to his previous profession. There were few things he got more satisfaction out of than being far more than people tended to give a muscle-bound, former US Army operator. "Because I am." He replied truthfully. Spence was well aware that people like Selnia (and himself, for that matter) could see through the bullshit of their superiors. He'd known far too many Sergeants and officers in the Army that tried to be something they weren't and every single one of them failed as leaders and mentors. "I try not to be anything I'm not."

The big man's head shook faintly as Selina gave her opinion on the matter. She wasn't wrong, if there had been any sort of issue the Academy would be more inclined to take his word over hers but she'd failed to see the most pressing detail of this. "The only problem with that way of thinking is the fact that I'm not against you." Spence pointed out, his voice remaining as calm and even as ever. He wasn't under the impression the young woman was capable of throwing off years of a rough past with just a few poignant bits of wisdom but the more she spoke, the more curious Spence grew. He saw a fiery toughness in the girl that went far deeper than the strong exterior she put forth. He'd seen the same thing in a number of men and women that had become excellent soldiers.

"Whether you believe it or not, I'm here for you. All of you." Hell, that was the main reason he'd returned to the Academy. To be able to give back to the place that had taken him from his own violent childhood and given him a chance to make something with his life was a duty he'd gladly undertaken. There would always be another soldier to step up and take his place within the ranks. To be here, with the young men and women that would have the potential to shape the future in a way none could possibly imagine was daunting but welcome task.

Peering through the binoculars, Spence focused on the target once again. He pulled back to look over Selina's shooting form and nodded. She followed direction well, understood the concepts he had taught. He couldn't help but think she'd make a solid soldier if she had been inclined to enlist. Upon returning his attention to the target in front of them he waited. When the third shot rang out a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Too easy." He said, casting a glance toward Selina. "You sure you've never done this before?"