on to you

[Humphries]

To: Jack McCarthy
From: Humphries

I'm on to you.
Confess, and it shall go easier for you. Working out a bargain may even be the possible.

[Jack McCarthy]

To DEMON FUCKING CAT
From Jack McCarthy

I DIDN’T DO IT, NOBODY SAW ME DO IT, THERE’S NO WAY YOU CAN PROVE ANYTHING. YOU GOT NOTHING YOU HEAR?! NOTHING!
…I mean, I have no idea what you’re talking about…

[Humphries]

To: Prime Target
From: Humphries

ah, but wrong there is where you are being. spying upon your precious moments am I doing all the time. can be seeing you right now.

yes, I be seeing that gesture. quite rude.

and that one as well.

doing the confessed will be making your punishing the much easier. should be giving into the pressures and simply doing what is best. will be improving yourself greatly.

[Jack McCarthy]

To DEMON FUCKING CAT
From Jack McCarthy

Pissh, My room is a fortress, there’s no way you could-

…

Ok, lucky guess but I bet you can’t-

(Jack now in a typical flailly and paranoid way, kicks his foot out and spins around in a full circle his head craning to and fro)

Ok, waaiiiiiiit.you’ve just put camera’s in a bed room?...That’s illegal right? Like straight up against the law. Ha-ha! Now I got you you little shit, I go to someone with this and you’re in North Korea feeding a family of three…they eat cats over there right?

[Humphries]

To: Prime Target
From: Humphries

I could what...? doing things is quite possible for the feline. not underestimated me, you should.

permission for the scanning and recording have i. especial consideration for in your case most special, as misbehaving seems to be of commonplace regarding your behavior. handing over rights you have done when enrolling at the school.

NORTH KOREA also likely do the eating of annoying white males, yet not threatening to send you there am i. have some decorum, young MCCARTHY.

also we know about the toilet.

[Jack McCarthy]

To DEMON FUCKING CAT
From Jack McCarthy

This…this is…RACIST!! YOU ARE A RACIST SIR! This is invasion of privately, this is a invasion of everything and I for one I’m not going to take it! I refuse!

OHHHH, OHHHH Look at you go! More racial profiling. Just because you saw, an amazing attracting man with spiky brown hair and a Irish accent, you automatically think it’s me?! For shame! Shame sir! Shame!

I know a guy who knows a guy, who knows another guy’s roommate whose a lawyer, so I suggest getting a super tiny suit because I’m taking this to the highest court in the land! I’m putting the system on trial!

You know why? Because this is a disgrace! And if it’s a disgrace then I have a case! I’m being disgraced! I might as well be maced in the face! In this educational place! My own personal space! Because of my race and that’s in poor taste!

Also on a unrelated note I’m playing ace of base

[Humphries]

To: Prime Target
From: Humphries

i am a cat and therefor cannot be racist. unless you are meaning racist in that i am hating all the humankind, which may very well be true. this does not stop you from doing the thing.

already owning a suit have i. no worries regarding my dress code.

stop attempting to circumvent justice, MCCARTHY. simply doing yourself favor and offering up full confessional for the wrongdoings which have been committed by yourself.

if you could just be spoke into the head of your toilet, that shall be working.

[Jack McCarthy]

To DEMON FUCKING CAT
From Jack McCarthy

Then you’re species..ist. SPECIES I SAY AND I DON’T HAVE TO SHIT HERE AND TAKE IT! SO IT TOTALLY DOEESN’T

Well I’m sure you’re an adorable little evil demon! Where do you get suits made for cats?! Why and under what circumstances would you ever need that?!

I don’t understand you. I just don’t…

Wait…

There’s a camera in my toilet?
…
Ok, I got a confession for you

-Makes way to the toilet slowly but surely loosening his pants-

[Humphries]

To: Prime Target
From: Humphries

naturally. what was being the first clue? Perhaps the form taken of the cat?

I may be a feline, but I am still a consummate professional. You could be learning from my behavioring.

Wanting to be the explained to persons why you are defecating upon the toilet? hoping to manage to be aiming in just the right position?

For shaming, MCCARTHY, for shaming.

(especially if he actually managed to hit the camera... which was of course in his mirror, so the chances of this were rather slim, even for McCarthy...)