she's not going to listen

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

She's not going to listen to you. The words rang in Zoe's ears even as she approached the door, her steps confident, her stride sure. She'd been here before, though now she lived somewhere else. It felt almost strange, heading here now, but there she was, striding through those familiar walls, heading to a familiar room. Well, Zoe was a different person now: she knew that. This Zoe, the one who walked down the halls, was different from the Zoe who had shyly followed Devyn all those months ago.

This new Devyn wasn't the Devyn Solway that Zoe had fallen in love with, not if everything she'd been told and see was true. The videos, the blog posts, what Alice and others that Zoe had trusted said... what she'd heard from Liz and Beau. All had led to her coming here, to meet this person and to try and see for herself, to see if she could help or do something or possibly reach out again.

So Zoe paused, stopping at the door, looking at it. She nodded, then wrapped her knuckles against it, hoping that she'd timed things well so that Devyn would be inside. She'd been reported as heading into her room, and it was a normal time for Devyn to, well, actually it was the sort of time that Devyn usually slept... but Zoe really couldn't think of a better time to show up.

"Devyn?" she called, leaning forward slightly. "Devyn, it's me... it's Zoe..."

She paused, chewing her lip and staring. Her eyes fell on that nameplate: Devyn Solway . And her heart hammered. Well, at least this time she went to Devyn, surely that had to count for something, right?

[Devyn Solway]

This normally was when Devyn was asleep, but she was wide awake. There was no way she could sleep when her mind was running wild with all sorts of thoughts and her power threatened to take over at any moment. Well, for the most part her power seemed to be held at bay. Her eyes were darker green then normal and the shadows around the room did move a little, but nothing was pulling in her direction at the moment. After she made her post, she messed up her room a little bit, and then went out to just work out in the woods for a while until she felt tired. Just being tired was not enough for her body to allow her to sleep and now she was just sore, hungry, and wide awake.

Her fists hurt; she had been punching her desk, the only object in her room that could take a beating without really breaking or causing actual damage. Her bed was flipped over an on the ground, trash can knocked over with its contents of balled up paper all over the floor, and she pretty much needed to go pick up a new phone tomorrow. So Devyn was laying on the floor, half curled up as she let ice bags wrest on her bruised knuckles as she lay there staring off into space. There was a knock at her door that caused her to flinch a little. Who thought it was a good idea to come talk to her now?

The voice, she instantly recognized it. Now she really didn't want to get up and answer the door. What could Zoe have wanted? To yell at her? To use her power and get rid of a 'problem'? Devyn could see either happening since when a person was upset they could do things out of character. Best to just get it over with. Devyn thought to herself as she pushed herself off the floor, ignoring the pain in her hands as she moved over to her door and opened it. She honestly didn't know what to say and just gave Zoe a quick look before making any eye contact. "...hey." Devyn said, it was all she could think to say. She moved away then, leaving the door open and moving to go back to her spot on the floor.

"You can come in if you want." Devyn did offer, but she didn't really know if Zoe was going to or not. She didn't want Zoe to heave to deal with anyone saying they saw her going into Devyn's room and DL twist it into Zoe cheating or something and cause more drama. Dev was so done with it all, but she prepared herself to be yelled at, hit, or whatever it was that Zoe might have been thinking about doing...depending on how much she knew about what had happened.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe raised a hand to sort of wave at Devyn as the other girl opened the door. A nervous smile appeared on Zoe's face, though it seemed to waver as she beheld the girl on the other end. Devyn certainly had looked better before. Still, Zoe wasn't going to let that stop her. She nodded and stepped into the room, though she didn't go too much further. So what if DL made something of this? She'd already talked things over with Alice and others: pretty well everyone who mattered knew that she was here.

Zoe looked about for a bit, nearly wincing. "They really aren't that different, are they?" she wondered aloud. "The, um, dorms, I mean," she flushed and turned back. "I, ah, I'm in the college ones now. I got the last few credits," she smoothed her skirt again, looking to Devyn. Yes, she still looked so much like the girl who Zoe had fallen in love with all those months ago, but there was something else there. Zoe swore that she saw some shadows creeping around Devyn's edges, as if she were about to be eaten by her own darkness.

Well,, that should hardly be surprising. That was why Zoe was here, after all.

[Devyn Solway]

Zoe looked as cute as ever and the air about her was different. That was good. It was good that she was doing well. Devyn had already moved away, moving back to the floor but instead of laying down she sat there, and picked up the ice bags and put them back on her hands. Ice bags and packs worked wonders for numbing pain and making sure that any swelling didn't get too bad. Devyn have wished to just make a large ice bag and put it on her entire body, but that probably would end up doing more harm than good after a little while.

Zoe spoke up about how the dorm rooms were just the same. They had that conversation before when Zoe had come over to the girl’s room and said they were just like the co-ed dorms. Now Zoe was in the college dorms and explaining as such. Devyn did wonder a little bit how Zoe was able to jump into college when the semester was nowhere near ending yet and she thought Zoe had to repeat all of her senior year. "That is good. Now you are caught up with your graduating class." Devyn said. How she spoke was not really like how she normally talked. There was no hint to flirting there, no teasing, no fun...almost nothing.

"Can I help you with something?" Devyn ended up speaking up then. She figured by now if Zoe was angry with her she would have yelled by now or done something. Instead Zoe was making normal conversation as if everything was normal. The pain she was already feeling felt a little worse now that she could see Zoe, smell her scent, and the fact that she was just so close. That was why Devyn was not looking at the other girl, she just looked at the ice bags and how the ice slowly melted.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe nodded. She was tempted to point out that she still wasn't exactly around people she knew, but, well, that was getting better. Plus, she was now in the relative schooling as Alice, which certainly helped matters more. She was tempted to go on, to talk about her show or maybe just a few other things, when Devyn suddenly jumped straight to the point.

Zoe nearly recoiled from the question. She looked at Devyn, blinking. Devyn almost looked as though, as though she were in pain or something. Though... that was just a repetition, wasn't it? Wasn't that precisely what Zoe had been seeing, why she was there?

"I'm... well," she looked away for a moment, then nodded, turning back to Devyn. "I'm actually here because... I wanted to know if I could help you with something," she paused again, smoothing her skirt. "I heard about what DL said and did... Alice told me, and so did Liz..."

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn would not have minded if Zoe wanted to talk about the things that were going on in her life, she only had a rough idea now ever since she was told to stay away. She knew about the show since she had tried to be one of the models for Zoe but that didn't work out. Yet, she didn't really know the details of anything else or even much about the show. She would have been fine hearing anything so long as it didn't involve Zoe's relationship or anything about Devyn.

Still, sh wanted to know why Zoe was here at the current time it was and well with what had happened not too long ago. So she wanted to get to the point and not deal with waiting for the unknown. Zoe still spoke like Zoe. Everything about her still looked like Zoe; the girl that she loved, but against there was a different 'air' about her. Zoe looked away for a moment before looking back to Devyn and then getting to the point, but not in a rushed way. It was still with pauses and well Devyn was just really confused now. Zoe wanted to know what she could help her with?

The confusion was clear on Devyn's face as she tilted her head a little to the side. Zoe said she had heard about what DL said and did and how Alice and Liz told her. Did Alice tell her that she came at Devyn when Devyn was just merely defending herself? Did Alice or Liz tell her then how Devyn didn't even say anything to Alice and then that Tim kid stepped in? "Don't worry about it. I'm already planning on transferring. Don't have to worry about any drama from me anymore." Devyn said as she let out a sigh. She played with the ice bag a little, distracting herself.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

More confusion, as Devyn pieced things together. The next few things had Zoe's eyes widening. "Transferring?" she repeated. "Devyn it's not--- it's not the drama you were causing for me or anything. You're... you do realize that transferring isn't going to help things? It's just putting you somewhere else. You... there's something different about you now," and about Zoe herself, but not in the way she saw. She paused, looking Devyn over.

"You're letting the dark parts win, Devyn," she said, her voice soft, "and it's not something anyone wants." Not even Zoe, or possibly especially Zoe. Again, she couldn't help but wonder if there was a point here, if Devyn was actually going to bother to respond.

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn didn't understand why Zoe's eyes widened or why there was even any shock to begin with when she brought up transferring. It should have been a logical conclusion as a possibility of what would end up happening eventually. Kids transferred out of schools all the time, especially when it came to the mutants schools because sometimes you needed something another mutant school did not have for you. "Yes, transferring. I'm probably going to be forced to transferred or locked up if I hit another strike." Devyn pointed out.

She was on her last bit of leeway with the school and there was only so much they could do for her. "Putting myself somewhere else is probably what I need." Devyn added as she removed the bags off of her hands to give them a break for a moment. They were still sore but you could not leave something so cold on them for too long without it leading to other kinds of damage. Devyn looked at Zoe now as the girl said that there was something different about Devyn. Yeah, she was broken. She had been broken for months now. Nothing was helping put her back together and she had just about given up now with everything. What was the point of it anymore? Why try you you had nothing?

"I know. They were always going to win in the end. It was just a matter of time." Devyn said as she gave a small shrug. What did Zoe want her to say? What did Zoe want her to do? She didn't know and she didn't understand why Zoe was here. Sure she said she wanted to help, but why? was there anything she could even do? It was not like the people Zoe hung out with even liked Devyn by this point.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Transferring, then talk about a strike. Zoe stood still, flabbergasted. She'd half expected to find some sort of stalking beast, a growling wolf like everyone suggested. Instead, she found someone who looked and sounded incredibly beaten down, battered until they were no longer themself. She heard the continuation, putting somewhere else.

"This isn't what you--" Zoe began, only to stop as Devyn insist. "That's not true!" Zoe's voice had a little more backing to it and she stepped forward. "We both know that there's always been light and dark to you, and that the light was winning. The dark parts only win if we feed them, Devyn. You need to stop feeding that darkness, and if you don't do it here, you'll never do it. You're just giving up: that's not fighting, that's not you."

Zoe hesitated for a moment, staring Devyn down. She figured that Devyn would likely react poorly, was expecting it. Well, Zoe had stopped being afraid of Devyn a while ago. She stopped being afraid of a lot of things over the past few months.

"Just listen to yourself!" she said, nodding to Devyn. "And you don't have to transfer now: strikes can be erased. You just have to work at it."

[Devyn Solway]

Many would expect Devyn to have already shifted, using her power, growling angrily, and just ready to go on a rampage. She almost did. After she posted up that next message on the DL post she could feel herself already giving way to it all. She did in fact see the next message pop up but she closed her laptop before she could even read the text. She almost lost it then, but instead she managed to send the text out to Beau, and then she through her phone. So many emotions, all at once. Pain, hatred, sadness, loneliness, self-loathing, and so much more.

It all just because too much and Devyn just snapped. Snapped in a way that was not her usual rampage and destruction of things around her, but more so just stopped all together. She just accepted it all as how it was going to be forever for her and just went to exercise to burn away as much tension as she could. Then she was laying on her room, just lying there and now Zoe was here. Devyn informed her that in the end she was going to lose to her darkness. She should have known all along and was just now accepting it. However, Zoe didn't seem to accept it as she denied it and stepped forward. "When I was with you, it was." Devyn said, still not looking at Zoe as she didn't really put any emotions behind her words. It all just hurt so much.

Zoe said that she was giving up, that she was not fighting, and that was not her. Did Zoe even know her? Did anyone know her? Did anyone understand her? Devyn knew that she felt like she didn't know herself anymore. Devyn didn't move, didn't show any signs like she was about to lose it and do something wild or dangerous. She just sat there, looking at her hands as Zoe told her that she didn't have to transfer. That strikes could be erased. "Why should I stay here?" Devyn asked, now looking over to Zoe. Her mouth opened to say more but no words would come out, they felt chocked up in her throat and she could feel her eyes glossing over a little bit.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

And there she went, throwing things back at Zoe. The Brit felt her stomach twist, thinking that she'd somehow caused this. But she'd needed to pull apart from Devyn: her own growth showed that all too clearly. It also seemed just as clear that she probably should have come back sooner. It wasn't as if Alice was going to walk away just because Zoe talked to Devyn: she'd even found it almost funny that Zoe had doublechecked with her.

Before Zoe could say or do anything else, Devyn continued. She asked the question that Zoe had half been expecting, just unloaded it point blank. Zoe barely even blinked: "Because there are people who care about you here," she said, the answer coming almost too quickly, "and before you even start, you know there are people. There were people who defended you on that filthy blog, and there were people that contacted me, and... and I'm here."

There, that much should have been obvious, but sometimes you needed to say the obvious. Zoe wondered if she should add more, that this wasn't an attempt to rekindle romance or anything. That she wasn't looking for a fling or that she wasn't saying things were rocky with Alice. She just knew that she needed to be here, that she owed Devyn this much, and that she had to try, because Devyn had to listen to someone.

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn was not trying to throw it at Zoe or blame her for anything; she was just stating the facts. Before Zoe yeah she had been doing pretty well with her own battle with her darkness. Then with Zoe it might have been an up and down at times but it had made her grown, made her realize thing, come to understand other things, and it made her not to want to be that beast unless it was for Zoe and her friends protection. Then the breakup happened and she had just been in her darkness ever since, able to only ever pull herself out of it enough to at least push on to the next day, go about life as if things were normal, and still try to have some fun.

She was not blaming, just being honest, and she already blamed herself for everything now. It was all her fault. Zoe answered the question, Devyn having a forced half smile on her face at the words. Yeah, there were those that did care and did have her back. It was because of them she had not outright lost it so many times. Still...she figured it was better to leave the school and have contact with them maybe over emails or something compared to remaining her and possibly ending up a threat to them one day. That last bit of what Zoe said caused Devyn to look away from her. Zoe was here because people contacted her. Did she even want to actually be here?

"Thank you for being here. It is appreciated." Devyn said as she gave a small nod. She then stood up carrying her ice bag to the freezer before she moved to go lay down on the couch. There was something she wanted to say, but she felt like it was unnecessary. Then again, she was supposed to be the bad guy, right? Perhaps she should say it? It might not have been all that bad. "No one was there for me when I needed it the most. Four times. Four times, no one has been there when I needed them the most." Devyn said and then collapse onto the couch, burying her face into a pillow. She was starting to shake a little.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe smiled a little as Devyn said thanks. She gave a nod of her own. Yes, she was here, and she appreciated being appreciated. Zoe kept her eyes on Devyn as the other girl moved about the room. It still felt strange, even this. Like, part of Zoe felt like she should be embracing Devyn or something, but, well, that felt more like some sort of leftover reflex, something she was just so used to doing that she reacted without thinking.

Of course Devyn continued. Four times? What was she even talking about? Zoe thought about asking except... except that was just distracting. That was Devyn clinging to the past instead of focusing on the now.

"Devyn..." she said, waiting as Devyn sank down. Zoe walked over, moving slowly, as if she expected Devyn to go feral and start attacking her at any moment. People kept painting Devyn as the villain, and she did act it from time to time. Except that Zoe knew better. She also remembered what she'd said to Alice: that she was sick of everyone paying hate back with hate. It just built more, more ugliness and... and she was done with it. And she was done with Devyn thinking she was hated too.

So she put a hand on her old friend, gently, just on the shoulder. "Devyn, people are here now. I'm here now. That's what matters."

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn didn't see the smile. She was not paying attention. She merely gave Zoe glances but mainly her eyes remained lowered. Her green eyed gazed cast down towards the ground, practically communicating her submissive state. She was done fighting, done trying, and was just so done with it all. Zoe didn't seem to understand what Devyn had meant by it all. Yes, she thanked Zoe from being here and she did mean it. She brought up the four times for a very important reason, since it was why she felt the way she did now. Why she didn't see the point in any of this that was currently going on between her and Zoe.

Zoe came closer to her now that she was laying on the couch, Devyn could hear her footsteps, feel her presence closer, and even pick up her scent even with her face buried into the pillow. She curled up a little, pressing her face down into the pillow a little more as Zoe spoke. There was a touch then, on her shoulder that made her flinch. Devyn moved quick. pulling back and half jumping off the back of the couch as she put some distance between her and Zoe. She had enjoyed that touch, it had felt comforting on some level but it hurt as well. "That is the problem Zoe. You misunderstood." Devyn said, her voice a little shakey.

"No one was there for me when I needed them most four times. It formed holes inside me, holes that have never been closed up. I tried to close them. I tried to get help closing them but everyone always pushed me away. Now..." Devyn explained a little as she started to take a few more steps back away from Zoe, not looking at her. "Now it does not matter. It's too late." Devyn said as she clinched her fist, feeling that they were still sore but her emotions were shaking up and colliding with one another again.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe pulled her hand back as Devyn flinched, feeling a blow to her own gut. Devyn didn't want her to touch her: she must still be wary of Zoe's touch, must remember what happened. Zoe nearly felt like crying, but tried to remember that she was here for Devyn, that Devyn had to be hurting far worse. The words that followed confirmed as much.

Four times again, that mention of all those holes inside her. Tried to get help, and now... "It's not too late!" Zoe insisted, practically stomping her foot. "That's what I'm telling you! That's why I'm here!" Zoe nearly felt like slapping Devyn. "Everyone is filled with holes Devyn: you, me, everyone! But we keep going. We don't let ourselves become the holes and we get up. You're a fighter, Devyn. It's what you do, who you are. This... this isn't you."

Or at least it's not the you that Zoe remembered, the one that she'd fallen in love with. This sad creature was a strange shadow, a pathetic being who'd slid into Devyn's flesh and walked around as her.