What More Can I Say

[Vesper Bae]

January 8th, 2015

Six months of mandatory sessions, and there was still little result. In the minds of most, really, there was no result. No verbal word of the trauma this girl encountered six months prior. No indication that she remotely wanted to talk about it. Nothing. Really, truly, nothing. But they still sat there at the same allotted time in the same seats with little conversation passing between them. Vesper might ask a question - generalised as opposed to far too forward - and a majority of the responses given were snarky. Sharp.

Six months, and she still didn't feel useless. After all, it was hardly her trauma to delve into any more than she already had with her ability to do so.

Two bullets. To the throat. 

Today was no different, and by now the memory manipulator was well aware that she seemed to be the worst counsellor in the school's ranks, as she'd been told so by the girl across from her. Clearing her throat, she didn't waste a glance to a clock to remind her of how much time she had left today. Vesper shifted slightly in her seat; she crossed her legs, her elbow settled on the armrest, her hands folded together in her lap.

"Let's switch trajectories," She offered, a small tilt of her head to indicate that it wasn't such a suggestion, but a decision.

Hot button issues for the woman who saw too much without ever asking, "Would you mind telling me about your father?"

[Ellen Banks]

Why must this school be solely populated by people that simply couldn’t take no for an answer? Was this school just made for the most stubborn mutants they could possibly find? Because Ellen seems to meet every single one of them in abundance at this damn school. They all just flocked around Ellen like she had some kind of magnet attached to her or something.

Case in point these “Sessions”

After Ellen had her…”incident” The Bellefonte’s were very demanding that she seek therapy for what happened to her, which in all honestly she desperately needed. Despite the mask she put on for the outside world, she was scarred by it. Really who wouldn’t? It was worse in the early days of her post shooting life. She went around the school like a zombie. Her face pale, her eyes wide, so so scared. But those scars much like the ones on her neck had faded and she had convinced herself she was fine. Sure she suffered from PTSD and sometimes she woke up screaming but she was handling it.

So you could tell how receptive she was towards sessions she thought she had proved she was dealing with it fine and no, she was not willing to go through with such stupidly and she had made it so very clear what she thought of the entire idea of therapy but that didn’t seem to stop her. She had made that abundantly clear with her sharp tongue

Frankly, these sessions bored her…

Ellen as always was in her chair her posture. Stern but composed her body language clearly bored and her eyes glazed over idly twirling a lock of hair with a lone finger clearly counting the moments before this session would end. “Or, we can just stop pretending and just admit this isn’t working and my mental health is fine. Stop wasting your time and more importantly mine” Ellen muttered to herself.

Her eyes flicked to Vesper narrowing somewhat at the mention of her father not really expecting the topic of conversation to shift to something that haven’t talked about in the past. Instantly her mind couldn’t help but conjure up images in her mind eye. Her father towering over her. Her as a small child cowering as he roared at her. Being locked in the basement so many times. But her face didn’t betray anything “My father?” Ellen said with a raised eyebrow and a shrug of her shoulders “Well, for one thing I can tell you about him. He doesn’t approve of your line of work. How was it he described it? “A bunch of namby pamby witch doctors spouting jargon to people too soft to deal with their own problems. He’s very dramatic.” Ellen shook his head back and forward “I fail to see what my relationship with my father has to do with anything

[Vesper Bae]

The smallest of indicator's first came from the girl's eyes; how they narrowed with such intention that likely couldn't be controlled in its first instance. Or perhaps it was a mechanism put in place, stern as she was. Bored as she always seemed to be. Any minute indicator was wiped clean the second she had the means to. For someone of her age, that control was impressive. It'd been six months, and she had time to get to know that about her without a word in place between them.

A small nod, there, as she indicated that she heard the detailed explanation as to how her father saw Vesper's own profession. A movement just to share that yes, she'd been listening. "Is there much harm in telling me what kind of person he is?" Vesper asked, honestly.

[Ellen Banks]

For a moment Ellen thought that Miss Bae would just naturally assume she had said what she had said to get a rise out of her, which would be a fair assumption considering Ellen’s habit of using her sharp tongue against people not to mention that she made it clear that she didn’t want to be in these sessions but clearly Vesper wasn’t so easily stung and that’s really wasn’t Ellen’s style. Why should she lower herself by needlessly mudslinging? That was actually her father opinion on the subject and couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the idea of Ellen getting “Help” but it wasn’t like Ellen had a choice in the matter, the Bellefonte’s were insistent that she takes part in them for the rest of the year…

Of course the idea of using her powers against Vesper had crossed her mind. Stare at her with those hypnotic eyes and tell her that they had such a wonderful session and Ellen didn’t need to come by any more, but naturally Elsa knows every page in the Banks playbook and would frogmarch Ellen back to the shrink.

At Vesper’s words she actually to took a moment to sit up taken aback by that question blinking somewhat.

Never had such a simple question had such a complex answer.

How does she even begin to try and asked that question?!

For the first time since she had began these sessions did she show any other emotion besides apathy as her mouth pursed together and her brow furrowed in concentration “That’s not an easy question to answer…” She mused trying to get her thoughts together to describe the bogeyman that had been her shadow for so long. “He’s…A serious man. A perfectionist. That demands perfection in every aspect of his life. Anything else is unacceptable.” Ellen said more or less summing up what she has been told and instilled to believe since she was a child.

[Vesper Bae]

A small moment, sparingly shifting in her own seat, but Vesper's eyes didn't waver to the fact. The broader picture built itself around what she said just that little bit more than how she said it.

Certain choices were more prominent than others. Certain words provided a different pull. Where a person first started with a question like that offered the most pressing explanation - a word or a phrase determined to pierce the silence before anything else could. Those little memories associated with the man in question already told Vesper certain things about him, but it was always more pressing to actually hear her say it.

"And how did that affect you growing up?"

[Ellen Banks]

Ellen didn’t really enjoy how this sessions were going, the other seasons she was ironically she was more comfortable talking about the events of that day in June, the reason for that was simple. She simply numbed the experience out of his mind like it happened to someone else that just happened to share the same name as her. That’s how she managed to disconnect herself from that situation hence how she managed to remained so detached from this situation.

But her childhood? That was a little more sensible a subject….

At the question Ellen let down her shield for a moment and sighed leaning forward trying to process her question properly before looking up with a grim expression. “Strict.” She said summing it up “Let’s just say it wasn’t typical. I wasn’t allowed, stuffed toys, and I was told the truth about santa when I was seven. I always needed to live up to his expectations if I didn’t there would be P-Punisments. Ellen said shuddering slightly remembering how quickly he seemed to fly off the handle, not to mention how damp and dark the basement was… “The way I see it, I should thank him, he never dressed anything up. He told me ever since I was a small child about how life wasn’t somekind of fairy tale, it’s a cold harsh jungle and only people like us that make it in the end” It was a testament how much control her father had over Ellen that even now she wouldn’t speak against him, as if her father would somehow find out what she had said. Did she believe what she had said? It didn’t matter.
It’s what she’s been taught to say

[Vesper Bae]

Truth be told, Vesper knew she should have been content with the fact that Ellen was talking at all. Offering any kind of insight was better than the idle quips she'd throw across a room in earlier sessions. Far better than the silence that fell amidst all that.

She was appreciative; the slight softening of her features might have been proof of that, because they were finally getting somewhere. There were myriads of ways Vesper could respond. Many things she could draw from the words given to her. Alternate directions depending on where they needed to get, really. But just because she'd been assigned to Ellen to help with the trauma that lingered from June, didn't mean it was the only discourse they needed to cover.

A step by any means was a step.

"And have you?" She asked, raising her eyebrows at her own simple, structured question, "Made it, I mean."

[Ellen Banks]

Yes, she was certainly feeling a lot more chatty then she ever had before. What could she say? She must have caught Ellen on a very good day. Either that or she had formed the perfect method of questions for her to soften up and get her talking, it was almost like she had forgotten about her deference for a moment thinking so deeply about the questions she was posing to her.

Clearly she had done her homework on how to handle Ellen

She couldn’t help but to wonder what she was thinking at the moment. Who knows maybe she was about to send her to a mental asylum. Which would be a crying shame if she was considered crazy before Frank Cox. Ellen leaned back in her chair suddenly weary “I did, but that seems like a million years ago. Now I’m not so sure. Things used to be so simple”

[Vesper Bae]

Dissecting the chosen words felt like such a large part of a moment in time. Sitting stagnant, crossed legs and comfort in a small lean to her elbow on the armrest. They mightn't have been getting somewhere with the original point, but on some level these things seemed to interlock. Who a person was was defined by many traits. Her response was interesting. It brought a small light to Vesper's eyes. Not quite surprise.

Really, this newfound encounter was surprising. That went without saying; without expressing.

"One would assume that there would be no back steps. Once you've made it." She reasoned, or rather, mused the idea out loud. It could be taken in a myriad of ways, but then that was partially the point of it all. "What steps might have taken you backwards?"

[Ellen Banks]

Dear god, at the very least say something, react in someway. Ellen felt like shouting at the good doctor. I mean if they thought she was crazy she should just say so already. She kept things ever so close to he chest didn’t she? Her expression was more or less blank. If she was feeling anything or drawing her own conclusion to what Ellen’s probably was

Ellen lightly tapped her foot against the floor as she considered Vesper’s question, she liked to throw Ellen curve balls that was for certain.. “That seems to be a fair assessment” Ellen agreed shrugging

“What happened,…In June I mean.-“ Ellen couldn’t bring herself to fully address her shooting “People don’t look at me the same way as they did before ever since it happened. They-“ Ellen’s eyes flashed dangerously “They pity me.” She spat out as if it was an ugly word.

[Vesper Bae]

The admittance of an agreement was, in honesty, something Vesper hadn't expected. Ellen offered a very stagnant, stonewalled exterior, armed with evident quips to the councellor's lack of skill in her own line of work and other things of the like. And there they were. She doubted anyone could find the means to argue about any kind of progress. A conversation was still a conversation.

Because there was the first sign of a mention on her behalf. There was the slightest raise to Vesper's chin at the month. June.

"You aren't one to accept sympathies over the event, I take it." She denoted, though she kept her tone light. Open for interpretation just in case she was wrong. She may very well have been.

A newer approach. Curious. "Is it always pity?"

[Ellen Banks]

Vesper was being very careful in her questioning ot Ellen hich if nothing else was quite a sensible tactic to take. If she was ever asked directly about the incident in question then Ellen would instantly clam up and it would go back as business as usual. Maybe even worse then before. But seeing as the questions seemed fairly innocent and innoxiously to say the very least. It wasn’t like any of this mattered anyway. Did any of this have a point she wondered to herself if this was just idly chit-chat at this point? Was this a therapy session? Or a tea party?

Ellen raised her head a little frowning as if the answer to that was obvious (And in her mind it was obvious) “No, not sympathy. Pity. Pity is poor man's pride. You pity, a lame dog, you pity a homeless beggar, but they will not pity me. I rather they find me repulsive then feel sorry for me” Sympathy, Pity, in Ellen’s book all dirty words indeed, and it was among the worse things about what happened to her

Ellen shook her head lightly tapping her fingers against the chair considering the question “No, not always. Some stare, some try to avert their eyes. I suppose there’s some kind of sick fascination. I was dead and then…” Ellen shrugged trying to find the right words “..I wasn’t. Who else do you know that can say that? But I know, there’s a small amount of people who would say…That I deserve what happened to me.” Ellen blinked her voice deadly calm “Karma I think one would call it. I haven’t exactly endeared myself to the general population of the school. Which I’m sure you’re aware of. Ellen paused for a moment, her hand covering her chin staring into space “I think most of the school hates me…” Once again despite the clear implications of that comment she might as well been discussing kitting patterns “You probably get that a lot I would imagine, pubescent teens thinking that the world is against them projecting their own lack of self esteem on others. But like I said I have time for self pity, quite frankly I don’t have much time for it, and maybe I’ve earned most of it and nor popular opinions about me. Unlike some I don’t need to constantly lean on people to make it through the day. I’m doing just fine on my own”

[Vesper Bae]

It should have been expected, really, that sympathy and pity ran parallel in her mind. To each their own, in that respect, and Vesper would wear no judgement for Ellen's harsher tact for such words. Given what little she'd just learned about the girl's father, it didn't really surprise her.

They were opening many vessels now. From preservation to distance to hatred.

But there was a point. In everything she said; every word lined with precision, like she was working wonders to drive a point home. And truthfully, she was. Every statement, with reason.

Vesper wanted to start at the most poignant. The first.

"Are people who make bad decisions bad people?" She asked openly, "Or are they just people who make bad decisions?" Curious in her tone, understanding in her nature and a willing urge to listen, "What do you think?"

[Ellen Banks]

Was she? Was she really working up to some kind of point? Because if she was Ellen was having trouble figuring out. Here she was –Wonder of wonders- actually speaking to her, which she supposed that was an achievement all to in it’s self. Maybe that was way her father was brought into the conversation the way he was. Maybe that was some kind of surprise tactic designed to get Ellen talking now that was placed ever so neatly on the back foot. Clever, she should be proud of that and give up while she was still ahead, because clearly she was over her head as evidence by her questions.

If there was a point she was taking quite a long time getting to it….

Ellen brow furrowed at the abrupt question posed to Ellen. “Really?” Was the unspoken answer that was plain to see on her face but was left unspoken. She wondered what game the good doctor was playing and yes, curiosity got the better of her as it always seemed to do.

Lets see where this rabbit hole goes

“Good people, smart people don’t make bad decisions” She stated quite plainly “If you make a choice and not prepared for the ripples of it then that’s your own fault. That’s what separates the good from the great. Because when push comes to shove and the pressure is on. Great people don’t make mistakes”

"Banks don't make mistakes Eleanor" A voice drifted in from a long past childhood memory seemed to say 

[Vesper Bae]

With a quick blink, Vesper opened her eyes with raised eyebrows. She could challenge a little questioning look with a slightly stern one of her own; Yes, really.

Rather than offer a simple answer, she gave something complex. It seemed to round things in a strange way, or even add something new to the equation. Were they talking about excess factors? Adding context to the most basic to prove it couldn't possibly be so easy as yes or no? Right or wrong?

Or perhaps it was the word. Mistakes. Echoes carries across the air as if they were literal words strung low to remain in view. She was never taught to make mistakes. Or that mistakes were perfectly fine to make.

"Smart, clever people are good people," Vesper started, her tone questioning the denotion she'd made. "Good people are great people," A small nod with her head, just to ensure she would continue, "Bad people are those that make mistakes, common or otherwise."