Dear Erika

[Everett King]

[Erika Conner (Bellefonte)]

Finding the letter pushed underneath the crack of her door, Erika lifted it up and looked at it with a dull expression as she chewed on the strawberry stick she had stuck between her lips. She had received letters like these before and they rarely contained anything interested, though, just for the sake of being polite, she still read them. Closing the door behind her with the back of her foot, Erika walked towards her bed and plumped down on it, kicking off her shoes before resting her head against her soft pillow.

Opening the envelope with her nail, Erika slid out the letter and started reading, pretty much excepting yet another creepy love letter from a guy who was too much of a coward to even sign his name. Or girl for that matter. Those kinds of letters came occasionally too.

However, the first word had her holding her breath. There were only one person calling her by such name, and it was the last person she had ever expected to get a letter from. Her face fell silent as she continued to read, her expression turning further and further into a confused scowl the more she read.

The note fell from between her fingers and landed soundlessly in her lap. The only sound she could hear was her own breath and the racing beat of her heart, trying to jump its way out of her aching chest. How dared he? She wasn't sure what to feel. Was she supposed to be happy? Sad? Angry? It was almost as if she was feeling all three emotions all at once. The happiness of knowing her feelings were returned, the sadness over him giving up on her so easily and leaving her with nothing but a piece of paper, both telling her to forget of him, yet there were this lingering hope to his words that she wouldn. Maybe she was reading too much into it. Or maybe the last, the anger was clouding her mind.

Who was he to decide what was best for her? Who was he to decide whether or not he was a mistake? Yet again, Erika had let herself care for someone who didn't even ask for her opinion or let her make her own choices in life. This time, it hurt a lot more than what it had with Ellen - this time there was no clear reason behind the words, other than cowardice and a feeling of low self-worth.

Standing up, she paced through her room, back and forth, back and forth for several minutes, feeling the rollercoaster of emotions completely engulf her mind. She was so confused, so hurt, so angry she didn't know what to make of herself. She didn't know what to think, what to do or...

She let out a sigh as she fell down to the ground, wrapping her arms around her knees and pressing her forehead against her knees. The tears she so hopefully wanted to come and rid her of the devastating emptiness didn't want to listen. Instead, her entire body shook from anger. How dared he say such things?

A little part of her already knew he was the guy at the dance. Maybe she had known from the start, maybe she had realized it too late, or maybe she had simply hoped for it to be. She didn't know. She didn't know anything anymore, other than the aching feeling in her chest, as if her body was refusing to let her breath, feel or taste the bitter hilariousity and contradiction of his words. On one side, he told her to forget him, to move on, and on the other it was as if he pleased her not to. It confused her.

And then he dared to tell her he loved her? Who left someone they loved without even giving it a chance? What kind of love drove someone to such drastic measures?

''You're shit outta luck if you think it's going to be that simple. If you think it's going to be that easy for you to...'' she whispered, but her voice trailed off. He couldn't hear her. He was gone.

And then the familiar burning sensation filled her eyes as the tears threatened to fill her vision with a cloudy haze of salt and water. And she happily let them fall.