The Holy Remote

[Quinn Wiley]

Quinn took a peek into the room. Everything was silent. That alone could tell him there was no one but he wanted to be sure. He didn't trust his roommates. Well, one in particular but since he generally prefer to dislike everyone as a whole, he would include the others. But he couldn't see anyone. Quinn almost sighed of relief. Finally a break from human presence!

He exited his room, closing the door behind him. Pips was around his shoulders, making a collar around his neck. A very furry, stinky and lively collar. Well, maybe not too lively right now. For once, the ferret agreed to remain still. He knew it might not be that good of an idea to take the little creature out of its cage, let alone into the common area of the room but he didn’t really care. The animal needed to move a little, more than it could in the small cage provided for him. Besides, Quinn was finally alone and he intended to take advantage of this fact in every way he could. Starting with one huge bowl of chips before lounging on the couch while watching what he wanted to watch for a change. Not that the programs played around here were always boring but the sheer thought of getting control of the remote gave him such a power trip that he didn’t care saying everything else was bad, including what he watched. It was bad because he didn’t choose to watch this instead of anything else. But today, he could.

They were actually running low on chips but he managed to find some. The date on the bag told him they were still fresh and they got his approbation after he tasted one. This wasn’t exactly his favourite flavour but he didn't want to dig through the cabinets for some popcorn, let alone make it. They would do fine.

Pips moved from around his neck to hide in the hood of his sweater. He liked sleeping there so Quinn moved it enough so he would not crush it as he got comfortable on the couch. Peace and quiet at last. Life could be so awesome, sometimes.


tag: Jack McCarthy

[Jack McCarthy]

Ugh, why did he have to have roommate? And if he did have roommates why couldn’t it be two totally smoking hot blond twins with double D boobs and a thing for Irish guys “God, were so bored. Hey Jack? You want a quick threesome? Just to kill some time?” Their voices would echo from the inner depths of Jack’s perverted and thoroughly unrealistic mind. But nooooo Jack had to deal with a fucking asshole that only served to harsh Jack’s buzz. it was bad enough to share a body with a miserable fucking tool but a miserable fucking tool with a pet? That might be all too much for Jack to bear

But Jack relationship with his roomy was more or less non existence he stayed out of his way and vise versa but this time he had gone too far….

Now it time for him to pay

BOOM!! Jack kicked open the door causing it to smash against the wall with an almighty crash and Jack Mccarthy stormed into his room, his familiar golden celtic cross bouncing merrily as he came in with a face like thunder as he stomped to the center of the room. “You!” Jack barked as he head boded back and forward as he jabbed a finger in Quinn’s face “I had a grade-A top of the range supply of the finest weed money can possibly buy right next to my collection of porn. So I look under my bed this morning, and what should I see but nothing whatsoever besides my collection of “Busty, Lusty, Thrusty” A fine publication if ever there was one, Meaning you must have stole my weed!” A more serious crime never truly existed in the eyes of Jack McCarthy as he ran his hands through his already messy hair. “Now, need I remind you of my one golden rule-DTMS!” “DON’T. TOUCH. MY. SHIT!” Jack said jabbing his finger at him with every word for empathises.

“So own up: Where is it? Huh? Huh? Tell me now and I might not poop in your bed” Jack quickly ran over to the sofa getting right in his face “Come on, let me see your eyes. I bet their all red maybe your a little tired. Rough night last night? Were you out on a date? Possibly courting; Miss. Mary Jane?!”

[Quinn Wiley]

It was so pleasant to get a peaceful moment for a change. It wasn’t easy all the time with Jack, as he was as loud as he was obnoxious. Quinn had yet seen a good side of the guy. Quinn didn’t want to see any side of the guy, it was why he waited to be alone to take control of the television. Most of the time, he remained locked up inside his room, on his computer, where that roommate of his wouldn’t bother him. But he was not here right now so he could enjoy chips and let his ferret out a little. Even if Pips decided he preferred to sleep in his hood instead, which wasn’t that bad of a thing, considering he had a bowl full of chips against him and wouldn’t want the ferret to jump in it while playing around.

The chips still didn't stay in the bowl, and it was not because Quinn ate them all or because Pips jumped in them. It was his fault. As the door smashed and Jack stormed towards him, the bowl fell to the floor and chips were scattered all over it. Even Pips jumped out of surprise and Quinn had to grab him tight to prevent the pet to run God knows where because of that entrance. Once Pips stopped wiggling, he placed the ferret inside of his hoodie so it would stay calm there. He didn’t mind the few scratches he might get, as long as he wouldn’t have to search every nook and cranny in this room for the spot he might have ran off in order to hide from this Celtic storm.

Quinn tried to follow what it could be this time. With Jack, it wasn’t necessarily something big. He had a short fuse. A very short fuse. Quinn was down on the floor, one hand holding the shivering and squirming bump underneath his sweater, the other one busy putting the chips back in the bowl. He was not interested in eating them again but he sure wouldn’t leave them all on the floor. He let Jack rant over weed and porn magazines, barely paying attention. But when he accused him of touching his thing, worse, threatened him if he did not admit to it, Quinn glared at the boy and stood, making sure Pips would not fall from his sweater. “I did not touch your shit. The only reason I’d get into your room is to let an hazmat team in,” he spat back, moving his face away from Jack. His eyes were not red, at least he doubted they were. Well, maybe he was a little tired, but it had more to do with him editing his film, scanning through different pictures until very late, not paying much attention to the time.

He frowned as Jack was done. “Fuck off, McCarthy. Your weed’s not there. Maybe it’s your other you who smoked it. Or you did and is still too high to remember it. Or perhaps that cat you love so much came and took it away,” he let out. Why, of all the boys still school had within its walls, he had to end up with this one as his roommate?

[Jack McCarthy]

Lies! Lies and slander, that was the sum of his relationship with his roommate. The way they constantly argued with each other God why did he have to be a confrontational dick. All he had to do was agree with Jack that he was always totally right in every possible thing that he did. Was that really so bad?

But at the same time Jack…yeah Jack didn’t particularly like it when he squred up to him like that;. He had those crazy eyes like Jack was any second away from getting a face full of fist.

“Woah! Woah! Woah!” Jack said putting his hands up and backing off “You’re just so jumpy aren’t you. Defensive! That;s what that is! You’re defensive because you know I’m right!” Jack said jabbing his finger in the face.

Once Jack’s two name was mentioned he poked his head out of Jack’s room door “Did someone mention m-“

“WHO SAID YOU COULD TALK?! GET BACK TO DOING MY HOMEWORK” Jack roared at his copy causing it to shut the door apologizing all the way causing Jack to roll his eyes

“Him? Really does he look like someone who would take my weed. And I’m like eighty percent sure that I didn’t smoke it. And hey, I thought we agreed never to mention that cat in this dorm. I want through all this in the list of rules I gave you when you moved in! The first rule? Don’t touch my shit”

[Quinn Wiley]

Even if Quinn took that weed, and he wasn’t saying that he did, it was not likely that he would admit such a thing to a prick like Jack. Anyway, if someone went into that boy’s stash, he totally deserved it. They say that karma’s a bitch and Jack sure earned some pretty bad karma with his attitude. It was his opinion and he would stick to that. Why did he end up with this guy anyway? There were many other students, why couldn’t he end up with one who understood that the last thing Quinn wanted was to have anything to do with his roommate and all he wished was to be left alone. Instead, he had to be assaulted during that one moment he finally was on his own in here. For weed, no less.

“I’m defensive because some big idiot thinks he can be a badass and accuse me when I’ve done nothing,” he argued. Like that would work as a good line of defense against this guy! He pulled back, not wanting Jack’s finger anywhere close to his face. God knows where that thing went before.

While Jack was busy arguing with himself, Quinn put some more space between them. That guy was crazy, just plain crazy. You had to when you enjoyed arguing for the sake of arguing. Why didn’t they give the man a dorm for him only? He bet every guy in this floor were ready to cramp up in the same room, far from him, if that meant they wouldn’t have to deal with him.

Quinn rolled his eyes at the boy’s words. Jack was such a loudmouth but until he tried to run after him for a good beating, Quinn was not all that scared about him. “Yeah yeah, first rule, no touching your shit, second rule, no touching your shit. You watched Fight Club too many times man,” he mumbled under his breath. Quinn was so tempted to get that cat to come in here just to watch Jack freak out but he was able to go after the furball with a baseball bat and once he’d get it, go after him with the same baseball bat.

Pips got tired of staying hidden in the sweater and let its head out. Quinn didn’t mind but he kept a hand on the ferret’s body so Pips wouldn’t get out completely and start running around the room. He had enough problems with Jack only. “When will you understand that I don’t want anything to do with you!? I can’t care less whatever you hide under your bed but if you brag about it, you shouldn’t find it weird that someone comes in to take it from you.”

[Jack McCarthy]

You know, this whole room mate thing could have worked out so very well for Jack. He could have roomed with literally anyone else, watching horror movies surrounded by cuddly toys with Luxanna or if he was lucky some flirtatious lesbians that would sleep with Jack for the comedy of it all, but ohhhh no he just had to shack up with weasel boy. Seriously who owned a weasel what fucking hipstery pet was that? He hoped that it clawed his eyes out before it did it to Jack. He didn’t really like that animal he didn’t like any thing covered in fur or walked on four limbs, cats just happened to top that lists but he was honestly worried about the ferret clawing his eyes off at one stage.



“Well, that bid idiot should wait in line because I’m accusing you first!” Jack shouted back at him people his hands on his hip so you KNOW he’s serious inwhat he’s saying.



“Fight club?” Jack muttered his brow creasing in confusion what the hell is Fight Club? “When you’ve arrived here I gave you a written list of things to do and not do! The thing was like a book! Those are the first two rules!”



“Hey, I’m not the one of trial here, you are! Welcome to the roommate court! The honourable Jack Mccarthy preceding. The defendant is accused of being a fucktard! If I had a gavel I would bang it against something. Maybe your head…

[Quinn Wiley]

Quinn had noticed how his roommate seemed to hate animals. It wasn’t just this cat he claimed came straight from hell to torment him, Pips was also disliked. It was only another thing to hold against Quinn and the boy cared very little for Jack’s opinion on his ferret. Considering that everything coming out of his mouth was nonsense and everything he did was insane, there was no reason to react on whatever opinion he might have on Quinn or his pet or anything else for that matter.

Unless he was lashing out at Quinn for absolutely no reason. Obviously he didn’t get that the idiot was him and Quinn laughed bitterly at this. He felt like pointing it out but he did not trust this guy. He was able to punch him for no other reason than he felt like it. He rolled his eyes as he was once again told of the rules. It wasn’t like Quinn took a look at them. He brought the list to his room and tossed it in the trash. He would have used it to test his power if had he not feared to burn the whole room at the same time. “This dorm doesn’t belong to you McCarthy, I’m free to do whatever I want. And for the last time, I did not take your fucking weed,” he argued. He wouldn’t call him Jack, not when he was being such a pain. He was the reason why Quinn was being rough all of a sudden, tired of being accused for no reason. He didn’t want to lash out however, because it might upset Pips and he didn't want his ferret to run away because of this idiot.

He groaned at his silly act. Roommate court, yeah right! “Oh, so you’re the judge, the jury and the executioner here? You’re pathetic McCarthy. Get over it and find yourself something better to do.” Quinn eyed towards his room. He was tempted to get in there and lock the door in Jack’s face. He should also put Pips in his cage if that argument was to keep going.

[Jack McCarthy]

Yes, Jack did think that every single member of the animal kingdom had somkind of terrible grudge against him, but in Jack’s mind it wasn’t an irrational at all. It was a very rational fear indeed. Animals were bitches, mother fucking bitches,, that just wanted to claw and bite and claw Jack some more. Dogs, cats, horses, Cows.All hated him, which is why he didn’t like Quinn having the fucking ferret. He’s seen the way he’s stared at Jack’s neck.. and he doesn’t like the look in his eyes…

“Sure you can do what you want. You can have a big fucking gay farret orgy with all your little ferret friends for all I care but when you break rule one- DON’T TOUCH MY SHIT. Then you got problems. Then you get JACKED!” Jack said jabbing his finger in Quinn’s face “What do you think? The “Getting Jacked?” That’s my new thing, my new catchphrase. I’m thinking of getting that on a t-shirt”

“Oi!” Jack said sounding wounded “Don’ talk like that to a judge, I’ll hold you in contempt of roommate court, the most honourable count in the land. And you stand excused of stealing my shit. So if you didn’t take it who does?”

[Quinn Wiley]

Quinn wanted to protect Pips. Jack was loud, and insane, and loud, and aggressive and loud some more. If there was one good side of this guy, Quinn had yet met it. The only thing he liked about his roommate was when he wasn’t around. It was how he liked to deal with him, by each staying on their side and not doing anything together. The lesser he saw of Jack the better.

If it wasn’t clear that Jack was indeed loud and insane, the words coming out of his mouth proved it. Would he ever be able to say something that made any bit of sense? He doubted it. Or if he was to, he doubted he’d be able to hear it and even if someone recorded it he might not believe this came from the same guy who just suggested he attended gay ferret orgies. “I think it says a lot about you,” he answered when he came up with the ridiculous catchphrase of ‘getting jacked’. He doubted he would be able to sense the sarcasm in his voice and get that Quinn thought he was a complete idiot but really, that was his problem.

All of this masquerade was getting on his nerve. “Will you quit it already!” Quinn nearly yelled. “If I said I didn’t touch your things, I didn’t touch your things. Why would I want anything that you have anyway?” That guy was crazy if he thought Quinn was interested in anything he might possess.

[Jack McCarthy]

Rest assured that Pip had nothing whatsoever to fear from Jack odds are that he was more afraid of it then it was of him and personally Jack wanted literally nothing to do with his little pet. With it’s tiny razor sharp little clawed just waiting for them to be used on his. Just keep it away from Jack and she will have nothing whatsoever to fear from him or Jack’s old faithful bat.

Insane….The jury was out on that one, she thought that was rich that there were nightmares walking around the school like Franny Cox (Or was it Fran Cox? He could never remember point was she was that crazy girl) Yet Jack was the insane one. He preferred to think of himself as a misunderstood genius. After all many super smart people weren’t appreciated in their time in a hundred years Jack will be worshiped as a king. Watch, the entire school will be knocked down soon and replaced by a giant statue of him

Because why wouldn’t it?

Jack rolled his eyes for a moment, god damn it why would he continue to deny it? Jack being the mastermind that he was has already deducted that he was the culprit Damn his master criminal mind! “Ummm Duh!” Jack said rolling his eyes “Because my stuff is totally awesome, my room is packed full of goodies that you can’t wait to rob. Don’t deny it! I see it in your eyes, you have the beady eyes of a chicken natures most untrustworthy animal. You have chicken eyes sir!”

As a sidenote as he was talking his left hand wandered into his pocket where it up brushed against what felt like a small bag

…A small bag of weed….

Ah…

“Ok who wants to hear a funny story?”

[Quinn Wiley]

Whatever way Jack liked to think of himself to be was of no matter to Quinn, he made his opinion and the boy was crazy. He had wished Jack would listen to the one rule Quinn had regarding his roommates: don’t bother me and I won’t bother you. One rule, it was a lot simpler to remember than the list Jack provided him with. Not like he cared much about the boy’s rules, they could pretty much all be summed up by the one he had, that they should stay each on their side of the dorm and deal with each other as little as possible.

He wished he could do that, not deal with Jack, but it was the guy who came after him and now Quinn wished he had taken the weed. Not even to smoke it, it would have been so much better to just burn it, using it as a target to throw his fireball straight at the tiny bag. The face Jack would have made had he done this! But he also would receive quite the beating and, unlike his cousins, he doubted Jack would hit while trying not to cause too much damage. The reverse was more likely to happen. Quinn might claim he doesn’t like his smile but he’d prefer to keep his teeth inside of his mouth.

To prove he was crazy, chicken now became untrustworthy he had their eyes. He didn’t have chicken eyes! Since when chicken had eyes even remotely resembling his!? “The only thing I’d take in your room would be a picture of it to use as proof it needs to be decontaminated,” he let out, trying to stay calm. But this was something hard to achieve when dealing with Jack for that long. “I don’t care about your shit. I’ve got all I need in mine.” Whatever the other guy was to conclude of this was his problem.

Quinn frowned at his sudden calm. He feared that, as he had no idea what would happen next. So long as Jack was yelling, he was not punching him in the nose. His frowned only became more apparent as what he said. What now?