I'm Not Going Out Wearing That

[François Laffont]

“No way, that’s out of the question.”

Franck rarely so strongly expressed an opinion but his friend Frank here needed to understand something: her choice of costume was clearly at the polar opposite of what he might ever have in mind. In fact, those weren’t costumes, unless he was supposed to be auditioning for a role in Magic Mike 2 during that costumed speed dating thing or whatever. Let’s be honest, even if there happened to be a casting for magic Mike 2 at the speed dating thing, he still wouldn’t wear that.

“The definition of a costume is to dress up as something, not to take off everything,” he added as he looked at the Chippendale costume she handed him. Aside from knowing he’d feel ridiculous in that sleeveless shirt, it was the tearaway pants that shocked him the most. Tearaway pants! That alone placed the costume in the no category and he didn’t want to hear more about it. He was even embarrassed to hold the damn thing in his hands and he was not even wearing it yet.

“I mean, what’s wrong with some good old costume like an army guy or a musketeer or some undead nobility?” he asked, picking up the costume of what seemed to be a zombie count. Reading the name on it, he realised it was their own version of King Louis before he went to the guillotine, proved by the blood the model had over his neck. Okay, maybe that big wig was kind of ridiculous and so were the tights but still, it looked a lot more like something he was willing to wear. “And what about you, you got a costume ready?” Anything was better than to hear her give him another crazy option. They had been here for a while already, checking the various costumes and props they sold for Halloween and had yet come out with something good. Frank probably disagreed, thinking her ideas were awesome, but Franck wanted something on while going there, something more than boxers covering his butt. He suddenly felt really inspired when he saw that snake charmer costume with the cobra coming out of the pants because a sexual innuendo was always a good idea for a costume and he dropped it on the floor behind many other costumes. Yes, he was really inspired, otherwise he probably would have to contemplate it while she tried to sell it to him.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Doesn't that kinda depend on what question we're asking? If the question is 'can we get pants that will make me super hawt and bangable,' then shezow," she held out the outfit again. Of course she'd already painted quite the vivid mental picture of Franck wearing that outfit. And yes, he was making out with Abel Bellefonte, who also happened to be wearing an outfit like that. Then other guys would inevitably come and shower Franck with all the love and affection he so obviously deserved.

"What's wrong with those is that they are not slutty enough," insisted Frank, looking at the various costumes her friend showed. "Cause that's so the whole point of Halloween, duh," she rolled her eyes. Because of course Frank would dress up in silly costumes the entire rest of the year (as has been proven... exhaustively), but she only paraded and "strutted her stuff" once a year, and this was that time. "Plus, it's totally oh-- I've got a super slutty costume. It's gonna make the boys want to be all over this," Frank gesture at her body and then giggled.

"Or, you know, a hot stable hand who is totally dreamy," she said, heaving a sigh and then picking up another. "You sure you don't wanna try the sailor one again? I mean, what else says 'hellooooo sailor' like this? It's also got a cute little hat," she pointed at said attachment, nodding. There didn't happen to be much else besides the cute little hat, but that seemed to be decidedly beside the point, especially for Frank.

[François Laffont]

Franck frowned, puzzled at what she said. He didn't think it depended on anything but obviously his friend had a different opinion about it. He sighed when she expressed it, torn between the desire to walk away or to simply laugh at it. “Yes, well that’s not exactly why I’m going there now, is it?” he pointed out. He had no doubt it was what Frank was there for however. She already sold him once as the French sex god, he had no problem seeing her trying that again.

He sighed again as she dismissed his ideas. None of them would fit her standards but her choices clearly were not to his taste. They were hitting a wall here. He stared at the outfit he had in his hands. It wasn’t exactly what he wanted either so he had no problem replacing it on the rack but he still had to find something. “I don’t really do slutty, you know,” he said. Was she able to see his discomfort at the mere thought? He wasn’t sure. It was Frank after all, it was hard to tell exactly what she knew. He chuckled with her as she kept going on about slutty costumes and the other guys consumed with desire at the sight of it. He could get the whole ‘looking hot’ point. Even if he seriously doubted he’d find anyone at this speed dating. He agreed to go only for Frank. He didn't think he would have a lot of interesting choices for him anyway.

Franck chased that thought away when Frank brought up the stable hand. Now he was interested. “Something I should know here?” he asked with a little smirk on. The amusement shared place on his face with despair when she brought up the sailor outfit. “Frank, it only has a little hat. I’m ready to go for something a little sexier but there’s a limit.”

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Well, of course you don't do slutty, normally," replied Frank, waving a hand. "But that's part of the magic of Halloween," said in a manner that was decidedly mystical, which also apparently warranted moving next to Franck and doing a wide sweep with one hand, as if to indicate the entirety of the costume shop. "You're to let loose, pretend to be someone else for a few hours and all. Get your trick on," Frank giggled as she said then, flinging an arm around Franck.

"And ohmigod, seriously, have you seen the new stablehand? Not Cyril, he's cool and all but I'm talking about the dark one? Well, I totally set up this thing where I was all pretending to be wounded and stuff and he totally bought it and took me in to the stables and tended to my wounds and he totally took his shirt off and omigod," She hopped up and down and squealed and then turned to look at Franck, her eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Are you trying to distract me from your costume because... what? Oh, okay, yeah. I suppose you should be kinda classy sexy and all. Hmm...." Frank stroked her chin and looked around.

"What if we, like, found a prince costume that involved tight leather pants? You know, the kind that cushion your French sausage and hot buns in a tight little package."

[François Laffont]

He supposed he should be glad that Frank actually agreed that he was not the slutty type. Then again, his preppy attire kind of proved it on its own. He raised an eyebrow at the mention of the magic of Halloween. He wasn’t quite sure about that. Well, she was right about it to be an excuse to be someone else but apparently that someone else did not involve walking around in underwear and a sailor hat. It was asking too much out of him. He took another deep breath. It would appear he had to go through every costume they had on sale again and find something that would be sexy enough for Frank to stop being on his back and not too revealing for him not to be ashamed. There was no point in wearing the sexiest outfit they had in store if he couldn’t assume it and Franck doubted that he could.

He welcomed the interlude where Frank talked about the stable hand. Franck knew they had stables but he never went there. He wasn’t doing any horseback riding so he didn’t see a reason to get there. Of course, Frank was different. There really was no place on earth where she couldn’t find a reason to go to. That did mean he had no idea who that dark guy was. He was astonished at her whole setup but raised his hand to stop her from talking for a second. “Wait, what does his shirt got to do with you being hurt?” he asked. He couldn’t believe she managed to pull that one off but at the same time, he thought that he shouldn’t be this surprised about it. Franck couldn’t imagine himself doing that, perhaps it explained why.

He chuckled but there was something almost desperate in it. “Does it really have to be that tight?”

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Huh? Well, obviously there needed to be some bandaging done and only a shirt would do. I mean, c'mon," Frank rolled her eyes and snorted. "How else are you gonna have the whole beautiful princess meets hunky wounded stablehand thing play out? Huh? It's gotta..."

Frank got distracted by one of the Halloween decorations. In this case, it happened to be a hanging skeleton with eyes that lit up whenever you poked a button. Frank naturally felt the irrepressible urge to poke said button, hold it for a while, and then release. Then she seemed to remember Franck and the whole conversation thing, turning to look at him, blinking all the while.

"Wellllll,' she said, tilting her head, "it's gotta be at least a little tight, I guess. You gotta work with me here, Franck!" she hopped up and down, frowning. "You don't wanna ruin this thing for me, do you? 'cuz the whole point of this is for all my friends to dress up all sexy and party all sexy and it's supposed to be an eighteenth birthday party thing and it's pretty much sexy dressing or nothing since I can't really drink or smoke or do anything because my metabolism's all jank and stuff so you just gotta do the whole dressing sexy thing? Plllleeeeeeease," and there was a little dance, then some outrageous puppy dog eyes.

[François Laffont]

Franck thought there really was only Frank to think a shirt was the only logical thing to use to make a bandage. Then again, he didn't know the whole story but he still thought something else could have been used. Of course, this was Frank and if she wanted to see someone shirtless, she was able to eat the shirt off that person’s body if necessary. He frowned at her words. “I thought you said you were the wounded one? Besides, aren’t the stable guys all like almost thirty or something?” he asked. There was something a little creepy about dating someone who was easily ten years older than you were. The fact she was to celebrate her eighteenth birthday this month didn't help take the creepiness of it away.

He was not surprised she got distracted by a ‘press me’ button. It only had him shake his head with a smile, thinking she must be terrible to deal with in the toys’ aisle of a megastore. François had his hand been smacked by her mother’s too many times as a kid when he kept touching things on shelves for him to do that again. He even seemed to hesitate doing it when he should. Buying a mattress had been the hardest thing for him for he couldn’t dare do more than sit and bounce slightly on them.

Frank wanted to compromise but it seemed to require something tight. He thought about it. Maybe he could get something not too tight, just enough so he could actually move in it without the pants to show everything there was to show. Otherwise, he would like to get a jockstrap or something to keep everything in place and hidden. And then, to make sure he couldn’t say no, she went with her puppy dog eyes while pleading that it was her birthday and she wanted everyone to be sexy. Considering how many times she sued that term, the Silverlight would never have that much concentration of sexy within its walls. “Alright. I’ll be a sexy Disney Prince, just for you. There must be something like that around here,” he said, starting to look at various costumes. He pulled out one that was Flynn from tangled although he would have been the last to know. All that he saw was the Disney logo. And he figured she might like the jerkin. “The pants aren’t tight enough for you though, right? How about this one?” he asked, pulling out another prince costume, this one red and similar to the Prince Charming’s in Once Upon A Time. “I think none would really be tight enough for you.”

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"They aren't, like, all thirty or whatever," said Frank, waving a hand. "Besides, don't you get how rich people do the whole dating thing? I'm supposed to be looking for older guys to have super romantic flings with and all that jazz. Plus, not like there's a line of guys my own age lining up to lay a claim in Franklin." Which of course needed a gesture to help further explain, which in this case required her to run her hands down her curves and wave a little, ending with a short snap.

Which of course soon translated into her cooing and being distracted by shiny object,s which might say a good deal more about her inability to get a date then anything else. Though Franck's compromising had Frank turning right back toward him. She eventually let out a little giggle and danced in place before strolling down the lines, looking over the various princes.

"Shame that the last movie was all girl powered. I'd say we should totally dress you up as Elsa but, c'mon, that's already gonna be, like, super confusing with Erika's twin and---oh, I should invite her to the party, shouldn't I? I dunno if she'd go though: she doesn't seem to like me all that much for some reason. And it's super easy to find tight pants," she started flicking through. "You just gotta find a costume that's, like, a size or two too small. Or we can just mix and match. I'm sure there are assless chaps around here somewhere..." and of course Frank had to start turning to look. in point of fact, she looked about ready to start yelling and see if she could get someone to come and show her where they kept the assless chaps.

[François Laffont]

Alright, so maybe they weren’t thirty or close to that age. Not like Franck would know for sure, he was not doing any horseback riding. He still found it a little weird to date someone who ought to be almost ten years older than she was. Then again, they were not dating. She just managed to get him shirtless and enjoy the view. It was kind of what he did when he went to check on the gym teacher. Who happened to be nice enough not to mention it if he realised what Franck really came there for.

Franck thought he knew the very colourful world that was Frank’s but she always managed to surprise him. He shook his head with a soft smile as she gestured at her own unclaimed body. “What can I say, even a rainbow doesn’t seem as colourful as you are. Not every guy can handle that,” he said. He didn’t want Frank to change but he could understand how guys thought she might be too much. “You’re not really dating him are you? Or that romantic fling and all that jazz?” he asked. With Frank, you just never know. One moment she might say she only saw him shirtless, the next he’ll find out he wasn’t the only one who was.

Franck had no intention of going there as Elsa. He might actually not mind dressing up as a girl in a crazy evening with Frank, to joke, both swapping genders and all, but not in public. Besides, he didn’t want to spend an entire night with heels. He didn’t remember if she wore any but girls always had heels and walked in them as if it was the easiest thing in the world. He didn’t want to try and see if it was the case. He was most likely to end up like Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality and smash his face to the ground a couple of times.

To imagine the Bellefonte Elsa at some costumed date thing was really amusing. He couldn’t see her there, except perhaps if she felt like she should show people she was not as unapproachable as some liked to think. But he felt like she enjoyed appearing unapproachable. “I don’t think she hates you. You’re probably way too different. She doesn’t handle wild too well. You can still try though,” he said. Oh, was he glad Elsa was not around while he talked of her like this!

He nodded, already checking for a smaller size. He didn’t want to buy both size to get every piece fitting him but it kind of was why Frank was here. He didn’t like using her like this for her money but he knew she didn't mind. He wondered if she wouldn’t mind either if he really took advantage of it. Not like he meant to try or would think much about it since she scared him at the mention of assless chaps. “What? No, Frank, no,” he said, grabbing her arm to stop her from asking around for those chaps. His tone was gentle but he still meant it. No assless chaps. “By the way, will you need help setting everything in place? I wouldn’t mind coming sooner if you want.”

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Yeah, it's tough to find a guy who can handle all of this," said Frank, waving a hand, fingers splayed wide, to indicate her entire body, sort of rubbing the air around her. She giggled at that, adding a quick shrug. She knew that she could sometimes be hard to handle: she wasn't that dense and all. She just also knew that several guys were willing to overlook something as paltry as her personality given her looks and money.

"Well, I did kinda get kissed by one or did some kissing or something,' admitted Frank. she stepped forward, looking through the pants, determined to find a tight pair (and potentially a pair that didn't happen to have an ass as an added bonus). "You know, Lily, the really hot one that's all dark and suave and totally sexy. Guy's a total pantie dropper," she turned and looked at Franck, grinning wide, "or I guess boxer raiser in your case. That still works the same way, right? I haven't, like, seen much. There were those really odd cartoons and stuff, but I'm not sure they were anatomically correct. Oh, chaps!"

And Frank darted into an aisle. soon leather "pants" started flying into the aisle behind her, which was never a good sign. She pulled her head out for a moment, realizing that Franck had said something else too. "Oh, yeah, you should totally show up early," she said, before ducking her head back in. She pulled it out, looking to her friend. "Not, like, because I'm totally setting you up with someone or anything," head back into the sea of leather, then back out, a deadly serious expression on her face. "Because I'm totally not. I swear," Frank darted her head back in, fidgeted for a bit, and then another pair of tight leather pants shot out behind her.

Best not to think about how she'd managed to find a relatively large stock of them.

[François Laffont]

Franck would never say that his friend was dense. Not only because he was nice, or because that expression was not part of his vocabulary, but because he knew she could be smart. She only tended to have the attention span of a goldfish. Of course, Franck had no problem at all with her big and quite extravagant personality. He liked it. But he also understood the qualities you look in a friend were not necessarily what you wanted in a lover. He could tell her he’d go for her had he not been gay but those words were very easy to say when he so obviously didn’t swing that way. He felt actually lucky that he wouldn’t have to seriously think at this.

In a way, Franck was impressed at how quick his friend can be. Then again, some might say she wasn’t but this was Franck’s point of view and we’re talking of a guy who looked at people he liked from afar, barely doing anything to show his interest. No matter how much he liked the idea of getting a crush of his shirtless and kiss him out of the blue, he doubted he’d ever be able to do that. “Lily?” he let out as she gave the man’s name. Wasn’t it more of a girl’s name? Was Frank...? No, she said guy and he definitely was not the one she should hide any interest in girls to. Hot, dark, suave and sexy. That was a lot of adjectives that meant pretty much the same, he thought, but he got her point and had a little smirk. “He dropped yours?” he asked, although he said it mostly as a joke. But Frank was already trying to understand what effect it would have on a guy and how she should describe it. “You don’t really want me to explain that, do you?” He knew she could be serious in her question but he hoped the tone he used made her understand he was not really inclined in giving her an anatomy lesson.

Luckily for him, she was already running through leather pants. For once, he didn’t mind, even though it might mean getting some without anything to cover his ass. He didn’t quite understand the point of these pants but figured they had one, one that might not simply involve being a stripper.

He had to duck to prevent being hit by some pants as she was not looking around her at all. “And what will you be wearing?” he asked her as he grabbed some of the pants she tossed to either keep them in his hands when he could accept wearing them and back on the aisle when he clearly wouldn’t. He had a brief nod that she most certainly didn’t notice since she was already looking back at the pants. He didn’t know how much preparation the room will need before the others arrived but he knew he would need some and being with his overly excited friend might help.

He frowned however as she kept talking, stating with perhaps too much force that she was not trying to set him up with anyone. That rang an alarm in his brain. “Frank... what did you plan again?” He somehow feared what kind of guy she might have brought ‘just for him’. He even wondered if they knew who they were brought for or if they were supposed to be gay for the evening.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Right, Lily," answered Frank, having come out and eyeballed Franck. The guy had already grabbed one of the flung pants, but Frank wasn't sure that was enough. She'd have to move and see if she could eyeball them and him and see how the two would look together or something. "Though he totally hasn't dropped my panties yet. I'm not quite that desperate," she paused, tilting her head, tapping her fingers against her chin, "okay, I probably am about now, 'cuz it's been, like, way too dang long. But, like, he was all mature about it and stuff. 'bout time I can legit go after the older hotties and stuff."

Frank finally picked up a pair of leather "pants" that seemed to be missing the ass part of the pant, holding them up to Franck and considering them intently. She looked like she probably would have started grabbing certain areas and trying to determine how they would look in the pants. Thankfully, Franck kept talking, and Frank had the attention span of a squirrel hopped up on Redbull.

"What? I planned a party with smexy costumes, remember?" she asked. She let out a giggle and moved around, this time holding the "pants" up to Franck's butt. "We're gonna make sure that you totes get a major hottie out of the whole thing. Like, for serious," she nodded solemnly, then moved back around, "how naked are you gonna get again?" she asked, looking him the eye, her expression showing far more solemnity than the occasion warranted. "Like, percentage wise," she also waved a hand at her chest, hoping to make that even more apparent.

[François Laffont]

“Well, I’m glad to hear that,” Franck retorted. Although he supposed he couldn’t really talk when it came to dropping any panties right after meeting someone attractive, he hoped his friend would not start a relationship that way. She didn’t seem to be talking of a one-night stand, although Franck might not be entirely sure what she might be talking about when it came of that stable guy. She seemed to want some action, that much he understood, and Franck knew his point of view of having a deep connection and feelings for someone before doing anything of the like seemed rather outdated. He loved that no sex before monogamy rule and it would appear it made him look odd amongst those his age. “Hey, you’ve got no reason to despair about it. If you do, I should despair too and that is not something I intend to do,” he let out. He didn’t seem very good at finding someone either, generally falling for the one straight guy in a bunch of gay ones. Why he had to do this, he didn’t know but he still believed it was the case and found it rather annoying.

He let her circle around him with her pants although he noticed it was missing a bit of fabric on a particular area. He was busy listening to her right now. The fact she seemed more taken by the pants made him believe she might just say more than she intended. And that is exactly what he felt she did. The fact she said they would get him someone made him fear for the worst. “Frank...” Sometimes, it didn’t matter how much he loved this girl, she could drive him crazy. “I’m not going out in any level of naked,” he pointed out as he grabbed her hands, as if the fact he held her would get her to listen to him more carefully. “If I like someone, I will decide how naked I want to be with him but before that, you all will have to deal with tight pants, you hear?” This even made him forget to ask who she considered as a major hottie and meant to send his way.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"pfffttt," Frank made the noise of protest, adding a dismissive wave, "I'm totally not into despairing. It's, like, too hard and totally not fun or anything. Besides, I got the hot stablehand now, which is, like, The Dream." With the emphasis that Frank put on it, you'd think she was talking about a very specific Dream that required capital letters and had likely been spoken about in some huge, dramatic, moving speech at some point in history, which of course brought up far too many questions.

Most of which probably couldn't be solved with tight leather pants (though that wouldn't stop Frank from trying). She giggled as Franck reiterated the whole "need to not be that naked" thing, even offering a thing. She took a deep breath and stepped in front of him, putting on her most serious face (which apparently involved a gesture wherein she extended her hand at the top of her face, fingers splayed, and brought it down, as if pulling her expression taut).

"I promise I won't make you get naked if you don't want to, honest. Plus, like, sometimes not showing off skin can totally be hotter anyway," she threw the pants aside, clearly not caring where they landed, and then dived back into the outfit pieces. more pants started flying behind her, a few even having all the necessary fabric. So maybe Frank really could listen. Though she soon came out with a small pile of leather pants in various designs, so apparently the selective hearing was still very much in play.

[François Laffont]

It was good to see that despair was not fun enough for Frank to dwell in it. Franck believed that the day Frank Cox shall do so, the world would come to an end. She could feel down on occasions, of course, but she was such a positive person that Franck could not imagine her turning like an emo kid. He had a little smile at the thought of this stablehand having to deal with Frank. “Does he know about this? That you’ve got him?” To think that Frank decided this without telling the man was not something very hard to believe. He hoped that man knew, because that dream as she called it seemed to please her a lot.

Franck stood there, not daring to make a single move, not even bat his eyelashes, as his friend seemed to be studying him. The while situation must be pretty funny from an unconcerned party who would happen to fall on them here. If he said or did nothing, it was because he feared the next thing that would come out of her and he wanted to be prepared to stop any kind of plan she might come up with the ashes of the previous one that just burned at her feet. She probably thought he was being stubborn but Franck would keep on insisting the sexy part of the costume didn’t have to be too sexy. He was not dressing in the hope of getting a few bills thrown in his pants.

He nearly sighed out of relief when she said she would not get him naked. Finally, they started to have the same goal in mind. “You don’t want to give away all the goods at once,” he said, that being something he swore he heard somewhere, possibly on television. Whether or not he believed in it was not the matter here, so long as he ass remained clothed. Since Frank didn’t seem to care about the mess she created, Franck tried to clean up behind her and replace the pants she tossed where he figured they belonged. “Don’t you think there are enough pants in the pile?” he asked after a while, seeing she kept adding more. “We still have to make sure the costume fits,” he reminded her, looking at the various pants she put aside and sorting them out, putting away those he knew were not his size. This left him with still quite a few pants but he managed to take away many of them. “I suppose you want me to show it to you?” Franck wished they could go. As much as he enjoyed shopping, this was starting to wear him out. He’ll put on the top of the costume he had in hands and try the different pants so they could choose the best one but he hoped this would be over after this.