B is for BRILLIANT PLAN (also Boyfriend)

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

It started with a text. Well, technically said text came from Frank Cox, and she never limited herself to just one text at a time because she usually forgot that she wanted to say something in the first text and then went back and added more and then that more reminded her of something that she'd wanted to say for the longest time and about a dozen texts later the recipient had likely spent most of their time laughing and wondering why they ever allowed Frank to have their number.

This chain of texts hadn't really proved all that different, though it had been slightly more mysterious. Because Frank had repeatedly insisted that she had a 'bril plan" that "ws so gnna wrk!" and there were at least three texts that were nothing more than a string of emoticons. And a set of dancing kirbies, because of course there was.

Frank had finally arrived at Franck's house, because of course she just went straight there instead of trying anything else. Plus, she wanted to make sure to try this out without anyone to see, and then drag Franck (who would totally be on board by that point) out to experience it for real.

It being Frank in drag.
And a wig.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" yelled Frank, though she attempted to deepen her voice which didn't sound child molestery at all. "FRAAAAAAANCK, OPEN UP! It's time for you to realize my brilliant plan!"

[François Laffont]

By now, Franck was getting used to the way his friend Frank texted. Her idea seemed to be why write in one what you can in ten? François barely had the time to reply to one that he would find two more from her already. And no need to say that the second he replied to them, he’d end up with even more. In the end, he seemed to know even less about what she wanted to do then before she texted him. None all of her messages made much sense, especially when she decided to erase some letters. It didn't matter how many times he told her he barely understood when she did. Frank could be hard to follow when she articulated her words properly, imagine what it was like when she decided to take away some letters. He was even tempted to ask her to buy a vowel, like in that TV show but he knew he’d get even more texts and the last one with the bunch of emoticons just made him laugh and wait to see what her brilliant plan was instead of asking any further. Because there seemed to be no point in asking.

Frank did mention they had to meet for that plan that, he assumed after he was done playing Da Vinci Code on her texts, was meant to be brilliant and work. What was supposed to work? He had no idea but somehow he doubted she wanted to study or anything like that. Was she interested in having some party for the new school year? With Frank, everything was possible and since he happened to be her best friend Franck was often dragged in her crazy ideas.

If he expected her to come over, as he did remember telling her he was home right now, he was not expecting her to arrive this quickly. She must have walked and texted at the same time, right? That would explain why some were had to follow. The voice did sound a little weird as he arrived at the door but the way she called him and the mention of the brilliant plan left no doubt in the young man who was there. A good thing because he froze when he actually saw the person at the door. “Frank? What are you doing dressed like that? Is that... a wig?” he said. Quickly, Franck’s brain was trying to find what kind of plan would require his friend to have this weird looking haircut and this strange voice. She was not interested in going into the boys’ locker room, right?

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

Frank certainly didn't have any patience, like, whatsoever. She shifted her feet and probably would've started hammering on the door given the opportunity. Franck could've teleported out the moment she'd arrived and she still would've whined about the few second delay it took for him to materialize in front of her.

So when he finally arrived, Frank was partially exasperated. She let out a sigh, rolling her eyes. "Isn't it obvious? I'm a badass hunky dude now!" she declared this with her slightly deeper voice while gesturing at herself. Feeling that wasn't quite enough of a display of her utter masculinity now, Frank thudded her chest a few times and gave Franck her "manly look," which seemed to involve crazy eyes and a sort of snarl.



This being Frank, it only held for a few moments before she giggled, which really didn't bode well. She moved forward, flinging an arm around Franck and pulling him a step or two forward. "See, I've noticed that we've got the same problem," she said, still using her "guy" voice for no discernible reason. "We're both totally hot, but don't have a significant other. It's like Noah's ark and you're the unicorn and I'm the, I dunno, leprechaun or something. We're gonna drown.

"But aaaah," she nodded and poked Franck in the chest, "you know who gets dates? People in relationships. Because they're all unavailable and that makes you want them." Frank nodded now, her eyes wide, the plan obviously coming to fruition.

[that's the last of the gifs, i swears]

[François Laffont]

François knew better than to leave Frank waiting at the door. The girl was able to smash her way through, or more like eat her way through, the door if he was not coming quickly. Not to add that she was not exactly quiet. He supposed his neighbours were probably working or too busy to really care. There was one, hell he could hear the video games from his house sometimes, it wasn’t like he had the right to complain. Anyway, he worried more about the girl in front of him than whatever his neighbours might have to say. He did hope she was wearing a wig. Because if she died her hair of a darker brown color and cut them like this, she was crazier than he thought, in a bad way.

“Badass hunky dude, riiight. And, uhm, why?” he asked. Yes, he was not letting her in. No, he didn't realise that he was blocking the way. He was too busy trying to understand why she wanted to be a boy all of a sudden. She always had a reason for acting the way she did. It sometimes made sense only to her but there was a reason nonetheless. Franck just couldn’t find it.

To Franck of course, she didn't look that manly. She was Frank with a wig. And a somewhat deeper voice. And crazy eyes. But not manly. Of course, she then started giggling at her own impersonation of a man. She might have to work on that. Was it why she was here? She wanted him to help with her brilliant plan by showing her how to be more like a guy? He could live with that. He still couldn’t understand why but he could definitely do that. It was a level of crazy he grew comfortable with.

He let her drag him inside as she started her explanation. Having the same problem. Yeah, that was not helping one bit. She did make a point as she added they were hot and single. Although, he might argue she wasn’t as hot looking like that. “I’m a unicorn? Not quite sure about that. Please tell me that look s not permanent,” he said. He was totally trying to change the subject because he feared he might start to know where she was getting at. Trying to pull her hair to see if they were hers or a wig seemed like the best way to do it right now.

Sadly, his friend was far from over and said exactly what he feared. “So your plan is to be my date? You do realise were playing on different fields, right? Or, well, actually, I guess we play in the same...” he began to say. That might be on a level of crazy he was not all that comfortable with.


[Can play that game too ]

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

No, Frank didn't care that Franck wasn't letting her in. This plan wouldn't work if they hid away. They must leave, emerge into the world like a beautiful gay Siamese butterfly, spreading joy with each flap of their conjoined wings.

Thankfully, she didn't read minds though, else she might be slightly offended at Franck disparaging her masculinity. She totally looked dudelike: she'd been studying up on how dudes worked and had watched like, a dozen movies all about girls dressing up like dudes and tricking people and having a guy awkwardly fall for her and she just really wanted a boyfriend, okay?

"Yes, unicorn! Because you're fabulous, unique, and have a large horn," she said, nodding with all the wisdom such a statement deserved. She'd forgotten to do the voice thing, and she quickly continued for the next, as well as moving to the one-armed hug again. "And we're not going to just be dates: we're gonna be each other's boyfriends. Because then people will be like 'they're so sexy and desirable.' Plus someone will probably be all mean and think they should steal you from me and you can act all conflicted and stuff but not actually be guilty because it's totally made up!" Frank nodded. She also realized that she didn't want to actually go back into the house, so she attempted to wrangle Franck so they would end up outside. you know, out, out and about, out and proud, some sort of combination of out and something.

[François Laffont]

“I’m amazed by the number of references you make of my penis,” Franck replied as she explained why he just had to be a unicorn. Especially considering she had never seen it. Then again, Franck didn’t need to see anything to make assumptions. To choose though, he would have preferred something a little more manly. Could you really blame him? Then again, she was able to say a horse and end it like My Little Pony while still adding a reference to his genitals.

“You might want to watch your accent if you want to pretend to be a guy. And tone down in the impersonation. Simple is better, trust me. Unless you want them to steal me from you because they pity me,” he told her. He didn’t want to sound bitchy but right now she did not exactly acted or looked like the type of guy he’d be all over of. And he supposed that, for this to work, it would need to be somewhat believable. Then again, did he really want this to be plausible? Dating Frank Cox... he bet the guy version of him was as crazy as the female one. “You got a name, badass hunky dude?” he asked her. It was weird enough to refer to them as the two Franks but if he had to date a guy called Frank also...

He didn’t seem to realise she was dragging him out of the house. He was too busy trying to think how on earth she could believe this would not blow in their face. Like, seriously, wouldn’t be kind of a major jerk for breaking up to date someone else? And if they said it was for fake, then he’d be a major jerk for pulling this trick on the other guy. No way was Franck adding this stain to his relatively spotless reputation. “And what do you intend to do for yourself? You’re single too and it’s not like I could play your boyfriend, everyone kind of knows I’m gay,”

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Right, right," said Frank. She coughed a few times, trying to figure out the best accent to utilize. "So, should I go for British---" she had begun, only to fall silent as Franck kept going, talking about pity and stuff. Frank began starting to say that would work, but Frank had already asked her a question. "Well, my name is kinda already a bloke's name," yes, she was still stuck on a British accent and doing a pretty solid job, actually. "I figured I'd go with Richard Stone. That sounds manly, right?"

And yes, they were now out of the house. And no, no of course Frank didn't see any problems with the whole plan. She still thought it was the most brilliant, obvious idea that she'd ever come across and she couldn't believe she hadn't thought of it before now.

"Well, obviously I'll be picked up by a guy who's looking to swoop in or something. No, no, no, that's not how it works!" Yes, she did slap Franck on each no, though lightly, at least. "Some guy will start having feelings for me and be all conflicted, because I'm obviously the broest of bros. He'll so sing about it or something, and then he'll find out I'm a girl in this awkward manner, and we'll have this big misunderstanding or something which will inevitably lead to us confessing our love and so forth." Frank sighed, clearly enamored of the plan. And why not? It was brilliant and all.

[François Laffont]

François could easily believe that his friend had not thought of a name for her fake identity. He also knew she could come out with one in a heartbeat. If there was one thing you could trust Frank with, it was to always find a solution, no matter how crazy, to everything you throw at her. The British accent got Franck a little perplexed. She had it right, it was not the point. But he just saw the irony of the whole thing and couldn’t quite get past that. “After centuries of hating each other, England and France are making up here in Kalispell,” he said. He was not expecting her to see a problem with that. In fact, he just realised that he most probably gave her the way she would introduce them to everyone they would run into.

He didn’t mind the name. “Richard,” he replied, saying it the French way, which was pretty different than the way it sounded in English. “Unless you go for Rich or Richie. What’s that other nickname you can do with, Dick? No, on the other hand, don’t go for Dick.” He wasn’t really talking to her as he said that. He was trying to play along with her crazy idea. He couldn’t imagine it working. If he had known how she got her inspiration out of movies, he’d be even more against it. “You might want to improve on your manly attitude first though. I might not go after bears but if it’s too obvious, no one will believe it,” he suggested her. Not that he thought anyone would believe it for that matter.

Frank then proceeded into finding how she could have it work for her also. As he said, he was gay and dressed like that, unless the guy was bisexual, she wouldn’t get the right person for her. He frowned as she slapped him. Not that it hurt but that clearly wasn’t necessary just because he pointed out the flaws in her brilliant plan. “So your plan is to ungay a guy? Or make a straight one very confused for suddenly thinking he is gay?” he asked. Considering he thought he’d end up sharing that wig with her as they swapped places, he didn’t mind. She could try that as much as she wanted, as long as he kept his hair.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

No, no Frank did not get the reference at all. She also didn't say or do anything along those lines, having instead focused on the nickname. "Yes! Dick! You know that's my dad's name. He really is called Dick Cox!" she giggled, clearly enjoying the double entente created there all too much. She'd picked the name more or less because it had been her dad's after all. She probably would've continued right along those lines, maybe suggesting that he could call her "his Dick" or something when he said something that caught her attention:

"You date bears?" Frank said, her eyes going wide. She hit Franck on the shoulder. "Well, that explains why we haven't been able to get you a guy yet! We just need to find a bear shapeshifter! Or wait, is it, like, literal bears? 'cuz we could totally go back to where we were camping and stuff. I think I saw some bears when I was out looking for the Majestic beast that is Bigfoot. Or, or, or, is the bear thing more of a---

"Oh, right, plan," said Frank, who'd probably talked over or around what Franck had said, like she was so apt to do. "Well, I was thinking more the latter one. You know, like how Shang was all 'you're totally hot Ping' and confused and then super relieved when she turned out to be this cute chick in the end. Though I suppose I could always get the attention of a pan or a demi or a bi or whatever. Sexuality is very fluid, Franck,' she threw her arm around his shoulder, pulling him close, "you should learn that now. Fluid and super hard to understand. Except for me: I just like cute boys," she giggled at then, leaning over to give Franck a light peck on the cheek. Yes, he definitely counted, though of course Frank wasn't stupid enough to think she could "turn" him or anything (and it was debatable whether she'd want to, actually).

[François Laffont]

Franck stared at his friend, just hoping she was joking. Seriously, Dick Cox? Had anyone ever thought about it for two seconds before picking his name or did they wish their son to become a famous porn star someday? In his mind, he did hope his name truly was Richard and only those who liked to joke called him like that. Then again, with a family who dared called their son like this, it explained a lot about Frank’s personality.

He sighed as Frank took his comment too literally, obviously. Of course he was not dating actual bears! No grizzly or Teddy Bears or Care Bears approached him this close. “Not real bears Frank! he let out, trying to make her stop before she started him on a date with Bigfoot. “I figured, since you love images so well, that you’d know what I meant. I’m talking of big, bulky, hairy guys. I supposed it was too gay for you to get it,” he tried to explained to her. Though he was surprised there was actually something too gay for Frank to get. Not that he questioned her sexuality but he figured that kind of flashy world would interest her more and so that she would know its expressions.

No matter how many times she did it, Franck always tried to stop her from going too crazy and she would keep talking over his words of good, common sense. Most of the time, he chose to give up. She was unable to think of more than one thing at once and if her mind was currently focused on bears, unless he derailed that train it would go on and on and on. Luckily, it was easy to plant another idea in her mind. Except when she had a brilliant plan in place. Then it would always come back on its own when you least expected and wanted it.

He didn’t consider his sexuality as ‘fluid’. He was gay. He never was interested in girls in the slightest. But he was not surprised that she wouldn’t fit in a mold. She never did. He didn’t get her reference but again, chose not to ask. It was better for he would have an hour of hearing about it, at least. It was best to spare his ears. He smiled as she kissed his cheek. “Well, we’re having the same type. I’ll tell you what, how about we get something to eat and we go to the park try that new personality of yours around people? Like this you can practice your plan while doing your favourite activity in the world, how does that sound?” To Franck, it mostly sounded that she would see it was not working or eat and totally forget about her plan and they could both go home as if nothing happened. He had the right to dream!

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Aww, not real bears?" Frank had to frown at that. Of course, as this was Frank, the frown lasted for about as long as it actually took her to frown. Then she was shrugging it off, going "Well, that just makes it easier and stuff. Plus I won't have to dress up in a teddy bear costume or something, which would've been really weird."

There was nothing in that sentence that would lead anyone to believe that Frank wouldn't go through with it either. If she said she would dress in a bear costume to go on a date with her very gay, French best friend, then she'd probably show up. It would likely be a brilliant pink costume too. With bows. Or not, whatever turned Franck on.

"Oooh, food!" said Frank, clapping and turning. she then realized that was probably far too girly, even for her. "I mean, yeah, that's cool," she said in her deep voice, giving Franck an arm punch before moving to swing an arm around her shoulder. "Though eating isn't really my favorite activity. That's probably having parties. Or singing. Or dancing. Or party games. Oh, especially party games involving singing and dancing," Frank nodded. She also started walking forward, and since her arm was still around Franck, that meant moving forward with him as well.

[François Laffont]

Frank in a teddy bear costume would have been more than weird, it would have been scary. Franck could totally picture her showing up one day in such costume though. Because it was Frank they were talking about and everything was pretty much possible with her. As he thought of that, he figured turning into a male version of herself to play her boyfriend was not the craziest idea she could have come up with. She was able to pay for some male stripper or whatever to go after him in front of everyone. He was glad she had yet done something like that. The worst had been the date auction and it had been pretty epic and weird already, he didn’t need to add more to it.

As he expected, the mention of food pleased Frank, and got her out of character. He laughed at it and held his hands together between his. She got back into character before he told her about it but that didn’t mean he would not mention it. “You might want to tone down the fangirl attitude. Unless you want to be that kind of gay,” he advised her. If so, he would then have to deal with lots of songs from musicals and comments about people’s lack of style. The punch was not necessary but he did feel they would have work to do if they wanted to turn her into a guy so he would start with one lesson at a time and pray his arm could take it.

Since she was going on about parties and dance and he believed they wouldn’t go anywhere at this rhythm, he placed an arm over her shoulders just like she did with him and directed her steps. “Yeah, we might choose to get our gay Glee date some other time, for now let’s just go for food and park alright?” he told her. He couldn’t believe he was actually walking around with Frank dressed up like that but the physical contact he had with her helped him forget about it a little and just play along. It sure put him in better dispositions to do so.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"There are different types!? Is it like Pokemon!? IS THERE A DRAGON TYPE OF GAY? I WANNA BE THE DRAGON TYPE! Well, unless you're, like, the faerie... OMG!" this was soon followed by Frank effectively pounding Franck's arm (probably super-effective) for a few seconds. "THAT'S WHERE THE FAERIE THING COMES FROM, DOESN'T IT? OMIGOD, THAT IS SUPER AWESOME!"

She likely would've continued on in this vein for some time, but Franck obviously knew how to handle here and was now directing Frank toward the whole date thing and heading toward the park and all that. It didn't diminish her energy, and while she might have moved off the subject of "Glee dates" (though don't think that she now wasn't figuring that they'd be singing "Teenage Dream" while crying at some point in the very near future), she hadn't quite moved off the types.

"i so wanna be a dragon type of gay now. Does that mean that my breath has to stink and i have to go around growling at people? Maybe I should go for the fire type... no, water! I'm obviously all bubbly and stuff... oh, should I be more serious and all?" this actually caused Frank to pause for a moment, realizing something: "What kind of guy do you like, Franck? Dragon types, right?"

[François Laffont]

The only logical explanation for Frank’s reaction was that she came from another planet. How else can you explain that she believed you could have Pokemon-inspired types of gay people? There really was no other way to explain it. He stared at her as her voice reached higher and higher tones the more she talked, claiming to be a dragon type before calling him a faerie type. A faerie! Did he look like one? If there was someone who was closer to a fairy here, it had to be Frank. She already had the glitters. He just stood there, hoping for that outburst would end, and hope none of his neighbors nor anyone in the area were home as they would obviously have heard her otherwise. “Stereotypes, Frank, not Pokemon types,” he told her once she finally gave him a minute to say a word. Although, she was probably able to take it as stereo type. Not sure he wanted to know what that type was like.

“Anyway, I don’t think I’m pink enough for a fairy,” he pointed out. He gave up trying to understand her. No one could expect to succeed at that, her brain was not working like everyone else. He simply hoped that the food would help her forget about this. If not, he could still just stuff it in her mouth. She already proved she mastered the art of talking and eating at the same time but she wouldn’t be able to put as much energy on both so his ears might be spared a little bit. Only a little.

As he shook his head thinking about the Pokemon types, he couldn’t help but to laugh a bit too. He might not be able to understand how her brain worked but it was always unexpected and interesting. “I hope not, or don’t expect any kiss,” he replied on a neutral tone as she brought the types again. At least she was not over the top about it, it was easier for him to deal with her craziness then. “You fit more the fairy type yourself,” he added. Not that he particularly wanted her to play the little fairy while being in her guy costume. “Although, to fit the character, you might want more to be fight or rock or something tougher.” Okay, this was being ridiculous and Franck couldn’t believe he knew Pokemon types so well. It was time to move on. He stared at her as she asked the type of guy he liked. “If by that you mean the tall, muscular, dark haired, mysterious gaze type of guy with a killer smile, yes, I am.” Somehow, he doubted it fitted Dragon.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Ooooh, that makes sense," replied Frank when Franck explained what he meant by types. She even nodded. Did this stop her from going on a Pokemon infused rant for some time, all discussing dragons and coolness and things of that nature?

Of course not.
She was Frank, after all.

At least she had some relief in Franck confirming that he wasn't a faerie. Not that Frank would've ever dared call someone that unless they asked her to first. Nope, she was all about spreading sunshine and joy and happiness and all that good stuff. Insults were for losers who just wanted to bring people down.

Frank did comment back a few times as Franck responded, admitting first that she was probably a fairy type who wanted to be a dragon or maybe a dragon-fairy which would've been super cool and she'd have to write the Pokemon people and talk to them about it because clearly it needed to happen like, yesterday and all. "Sooo, you like mysterious dark-haired...wait a second, isn't that you? Are you describing yourself? You don't want to date yourself, do you? Because that would be kinda weeeeeeeeird. I'm not sure I could really imitate you either. I guess I could, like, do the accent and stuff, but the rest would be so haaaaaaaaaard."