I Swore It Was The Last Time

[François Laffont]

Summer was there. The sun was up, the temperature was warm and there was no school. Yet Franck wasn’t really feeling the excitement that every student should feel under such circumstances. In the five years or so he’s been here in Kalispell, Franck had tried to contact his mother only twice. First, only a few weeks after coming here. The letter came back to him, unopened. Return to sender. Franck had tried his best to act as if it didn't affect him but it hurt him greatly to receive such a clear sign from his mother that he no longer existed for her. He had poured his heart in that letter, not accusing her once, telling her more in details what he had and she thought was the work of the devil. He told her about his life here, how much he missed her despite how they parted ways. And she did not even bother reading it. The envelope had not been opened.



Why he thought this time it would be different, he had no idea. Maybe because more than four years passed since that time and Franck matured. He wrote her again, told her more or less everything that had happened to him since he left France. Again, he tried not to judge her. She was his mother and he loved her no matter what. She did not return his letter without opening it this time. She read it and wrote back. That fact had him hopeful when he finally saw the letter in the mailbox. He was glad, he feared she might have changed of address. His father was at home and Franck didn’t want the man to see the letter. He knew Simon Laffont was only trying to protect his son but François needed to read it.



He told the man he was going out and should come back in a short while. He jogged all the way to the park. He would be fine there. He made his way to a bench and after sitting down, pulled the letter out of his pocket.



In the end, maybe he should have left his father protect him. His mother was more or less begging him to leave her alone. She wrote that what he was was not natural. Basically, she put in words what she said in gesture before: she had no son anymore. Franck tried not to cry at this but he felt like the woman just plunged a knife in his heart and pulled it out to toss it on the ground. He was ready to forgive her, he wanted her around but she didn’t want of him. He wouldn’t have thought he’d be so destroyed at the thought.

[Scott O'Riley]

If there was anywhere outside of BA that Scott could easily say was his favourite spot, it had to be the park. It was a great place to take in the scenery, check out cute girls and just be quiet by himself. Scott was essentially an introvert. He was a dick, but he was still more comfortable on his own.

Summer was closing to an end but the park was still filled with townspeople. Most of them were people he didn't recognise and that was also another reason why he liked the park. The anonimity he had there was refreshing.

Which was why when he caught sight of a much too familiar face looking like a kid whose ice cream melted too fast in the sun, Scott had to hold back a groan. Granted, he could just ignore the guy and go on his merry way but something held him back. It was so stupid.

Sighing, he walked over to the French boy and sat beside him, crossing one leg over the other and leaned back.

"Why do you look like your puppy just got run over by a truck?"

[François Laffont]

If there was one person right now that Franck wanted around him, it certainly was not Scott. You don’t deal with some bad news by throwing yourself at the arms of one who could make it worse. Granted, he didn’t notice him at first, too caught up that he was in his thoughts. But he was then aware of someone sitting down next to him and he allowed himself one quick glance in their direction. Franck would have been too nice to ask whoever chose this bench to sit down to leave him alone with his pain. The fact it was Scott only made him turn his head away quickly. He didn't want to show that much vulnerability to him.

He was actually expecting Scott to ask him a favour or perhaps to steal his letter from him and read it himself. Not ask why he seemed so down. Like he cared! Franck was certain he didn’t. For a moment, he turned his head back towards the boy, ready to ask him why he cared but he stopped. He couldn’t say that. He knew he couldn’t. His mother raised him too well, Franck was unable to confront anyone even when it was justified. Well, not without some alcohol in his system first it would appear. There was no alcohol around.

“It’s nothing,” he replied, looking away. Was it obvious he was lying? Apparently, she thought him too well about that too. You shall not lie, right? He sighed heavily. “What do you want?” he asked, expecting it was the only reason why he bothered to talk to him in the first place.

[Scott O'Riley]

He didn't need to have any telepathic abilities to know that Franck was lying but he didn't address the question as he sighed.

He wasn't entirely sure what exactly his relationship with this particular BA student but ever since they were younger, Scott knew he was a manipulative person. He had probably used Franck more than once. He hadn't regretted it, he knew that.

So why was he there asking the boy what was wrong?

Hell if he knew. But now that he had, he wasn't about to leave without getting an actual answer. "An answer would be nice. Nobody sits by themselves in the park clutching a letter with that sad face and legit says nothing is wrong."

[François Laffont]

The problem with Franck was that he was always ready to give the benefit of the doubt. Even to those who probably had too many chances already. Scott was of that category. Franck knew he was too good for... well his own good but he still helped people as much as he could. And would whine later on because he was used. Scott was not the only one doing this. Franck had himself to blame for always be ready to give them a hand even when he shouldn’t.

He sighed heavily as Scott seemed to have eluded the question and bring it back on Franck. He never thought the guy would bother about his problems so he must really look like shit right now. “What? No asking who the hell still writes letters in 2014?” he asked in a (failed) attempt to joke.

He looked at Scott. In the end, he didn’t know that much about the guy. He knew about the things he’d get himself into when he wanted to use him about them, that was about it. Well, he knew how he felt but that was the case with everybody. “You get along well with your family?” he asked. If Scott didn't, if he said he wasn’t happier than now that he was away from them, then he wouldn’t be able to understand. Franck looked down at the letter once more. “Apparently I’m so not the son expected for that I’m no longer a son at all,” he pointed out. He wasn’t even sure if that made any sense. Never mind. It would be the biggest cosmic joke that he’d be able to relate to Scott and tell him that news before any of his friends or his father.

[Scott O'Riley]

Raising an eyebrow at Franck's joke, Scott shrugged and was more than ready to leave when the other boy asked him the question. It was personal and hit too close a nerve for Scott to actually ignore. The additional personal information that seemed so unnecessary actually sealed the idea to stay.

"At least you don't have to live up to their expectations anymore. Ever think about that?" Scott asked, a hint of bitterness in his voice. His parents had put so much pressure on him to do well in everything that he didn't even know what individuality even was. His whole life was an expectation and he had been forced into a role he didn't want to play.

Everyone had baggage, of course. But tell that to the teenage mutant military brat.

[François Laffont]

Scott didn't need any bitterness to show up in his voice for Franck to sense it and he realize that he struck a nerve. He never thought that he would and almost felt like apologizing. But he was too busy thinking about what Scott said. Not having to live up to their expectations. Obviously, whatever they had in mind for their son seemed to be incompatible with said son.

Franck didn’t have that problem. He always tried to be the son they wanted. He had been told certain things, like respecting your elders, not to lie, always try to help, that sort of things and he wanted to apply it as often as he could, to make them proud. He knew he didn’t need that for his father to be proud of him. He naturally was, as you’d expect a father to be. His mother, however... He looked down at the letter. “I’d rather have that. At least it would mean she still cares about me. That I’m not just some monster,” he replied although something in the soft tone that he used could imply he meant these words to him more than to Scott.

He forced himself to look up at the boy. He never thought he’d have him show a vulnerable side of him to Franck. He was most probably unaware of it. It was because of such moments that Franck always fell for it whenever he needed his help. “I’m sorry if your parents ask too much out of you. But at least it means they want the best for you, even if it isn’t what you want. They aren’t giving up on you,” he said. Obviously, they were divided on the matter.

[Scott O'Riley]

It was different for Franck than it was for Scott simply because Franck knew what it was like to have parents who showed genuine care. For as long as he could remember, he was pretty sure his pet cat Nibbles showed a lot more compassion to her babies than his parents ever did.

Scott didn't understand why he always felt the need to make people like Franck feel better about themselves. It was almost masochistic of him to remind himself that his peers, most of them, managed to get some form of affection from their parents while he didn't. And by wanting to make them feel better, he just made himself feel a lot worst.

He scoffed and got off the bench with a roll of his eyes. "You would think that, wouldn't you?" Scott said, sliding his hands into his pocket. "Well you can sit here and feel sorry for yourself, or you can be the monster your parents think you are and enjoy it. Hell knows how long you're gonna last."

[François Laffont]

François startled at Scott’s reaction. He did sense some envy and obvious pain as they brought up their parents. Franck was sorry for him if his parents never showed how much they cared for him in a way he could understand. Franck used to be somewhat of a mama’s boy. And then he became an empath. Although, if he wanted to be fair, he had to say she started to take her love away when she feared he might be homosexual. He was still young though, perhaps she could have loved him again. No, Franck knew she would have loved him again only if he hid the truth from everyone and tried to date girls.

Still, the way Scott responded, he didn’t expect that. He stood up quickly from the bench, as if he didn’t want to be left alone or something. “I just wished she’d understand,” he admitted, looking at the letter. He really shouldn’t, it only hurt him more each time he looked at it. He shoved the letter in his pocket and forced a smile on his face as he looked at Scott. “I guess I should look on the bright side. I won’t have to hear I’ll be even more end up in Hell since I’m gay,” he said. His smile couldn’t look genuine though and that made him sigh.

It was then that he realized Scott never told him why he was there. “What are you doing here? It’s not like you to care about how I feel,” he pointed out. His brows furrowed as he stared at the other guy. Could it be he needed Franck’s help and decided to play nice before telling the French boy to do something for him?

[Scott O'Riley]

When Franck continued with his self-pitying monologue, Scott tuned him out and shook his head. The joke did get him to chuckle lightly as he scuffed the ground a little with his Chucks.

Scott raised an eyebrow at Franck presumptions of him. Although technically it wasn't so much a presumption as it was dead on accuracy but Scott wouldn't be Scott if he let people put him in boxes even though the boxes obviously label him pretty well.

"I find it enlightening that you think you know me well enough to know what I'm like." He responded haughtily. He supposed he should have just been forthcoming about it but to tell a schoolmate that he had no clue why he was doing what he did was just not an option. He had to be on the ball all the time. "I suppose I should leave now, if you're questioning my good will."

[François Laffont]

The irony of discussing such matter with Scott had not eluded him. He had no idea what his family life was like but that was beside the point. The truth was that Franck should be discussing this with his father or a friend, someone who would understand and try to cheer him up. Instead, he ended up on a bench with Scott who basically slapped him in the face so he’d get over it. He wondered how the boy would like to be treated like the devil’s spawn by his own mother. Maybe his parents had high expectations he never reached but surely it would affect him if they were to turn their back entirely at him. Franck couldn’t believe it could affect someone so little.

He tried to shove away his confused feelings towards his mother. Scott wouldn’t understand. He’ll share them with one who can, if he dares sharing them with anyone. Franck hated to put extra burdens on his friends’ shoulders. Franck playfully rolled his eyes as he offered the boy a light smile at the corner of his lips. “Come on Scott, I know how you feel. You can say that I know what you’re like,” he pointed out. No doubt Scott must be amongst those who considered Franck a threat with his power.

What he said might have been mistaken for cockiness had the one he said it to didn't know him better. He sighed when Scott said he questioned his good will. Oh he questioned it alright. And the boy didn’t seem all that offended by it. But that was enough for Franck to apologize. “Alright, alright. Thank you for sitting down with me and asking if I’m alright. Are we good?” he asked him. He still noticed that, once again, the guy did not answer him.

[Scott O'Riley]

Knowing Franck was telling the truth, despite the joking manner he mentioned it, Scott wished he knew how to put up mental shields. Like it wasn't enough that he had Elsa knowing what he was thinking at any given time, here's someone who knew how he felt.

No, he didn't see Franck as a threat but he might as well have.

Rolling his eyes, Scott didn't seem too convinced by the apology. Truth be told, he didn't even know why he sat down either. He supposed he just didn't like seeing people genuinely upset. Especially when the person upsetting them wasn't him. He'd rather be the one making them uncomfortable and angry than he was willing to see them sad.

"I'll think of something to make us good." Scott waved a hand and sat back down, crossing his legs over each other. "So is that the only reason you look like a kid whose ice cream fell on the ground?"

[François Laffont]

Franck knew Scot was one of those who didn’t like his ability and what he could get from the young man. He doubted Scott would ever consider him a threat though. Once again, Franck was glad he was the one with the ability to read into people’s souls and not someone else with a moral compass not exactly pointing in the right direction. Maybe he was too much of a good guy but he thought it was better than someone who’d use it to his advantage. At least Franck was trying to help.

Although he seemed like the one who needed some help here. He still couldn’t believe he was opening up to Scott of all people. Would he regret it later on? He wasn’t sure. What could he used this piece of information for anyway? It wasn’t like he needed much leverage on Franck to do whatever he wanted. Franck wasn’t quite sure what Scott meant when he said he would figure something out to make them good. The guy had no inclinations towards men, at least Franck never sensed any out of him, so clearly he would not expect anything of the like out of Franck. He just hoped it wouldn’t be too much. He doubted the guy had felt all that offended by Franck questioning his motive here.

“What more do you want?” he replied. The way of talked of this as if it mattered very little had a stinging effect on Franck. He just couldn’t believe it seemed so trivial to anyone. “Maybe you don’t get along well with your parents but I used to be just fine with my mother. Then all of a sudden she changes of behaviour, my power shows up and sh-“ he began, stopping in his rant as he realized he was about to say too much. He sighed heavily, shaking his head. This was not the kind of information he wanted Scott to know about. “I still love her alright? She’s my mother! But I’m not only dead to her, she wants to act as if I never existed. You can complain all you want about your parents but at least they acknowledge your existence.”

[Scott O'Riley]

Scott had very little patience with people who regarded his relationship with his parents as 'not getting along with' them. He also had very little patience with people who thought he should be lucky he had parents who 'acknowledged his presence'.

But somehow, for some reason, Franck was not a splatter on the ground by then.

Scott could have told Franck that the only way his parents 'acknowledged his presence' was when it was time for him to have his lessons. Or by locking him up in his room when he didn't go through with his lessons properly.

He could also have told Franck that not in his years as their son did they ever have dinners together. Nor did he ever get a bedtime story, or a hug or a smile from his parents. Oh wait, scratch that. He did get a forced smile and a side hug from the General. When he was introducing Scott to his fellow Generals.

He could have told Franck all that, made him understand how his presence was 'acknowledged' but he didn't because if Franck wanted this pity party, he would have it all on his own.

"You're going to have to man the fuck up, Laffont. Because if you're going to cry because your mother doesn't want you in her life, you're going to be fucked in life later on. If you think what your mother thinks about you is even remotely important in going through with your life, it sucks to be you." Scott ran his fingers through his hair with a shake of his head.

"Don't live your life expecting your own blood to give a shit about you because at the end of the day, they're not the ones running your life. You are. You can love your mother all you want but what's the point of loving someone who doesn't think you're important enough to keep in their lives? It's fucking useless."

[François Laffont]

It was true that Franck knew very little about Scott’s personal life and his relationship with his parents. Because of that, he should probably not judge. He could tell it was pissing Scott off but he could also sense some pain Franck blamed on the memory of his parents. He did feel somewhat sorry from bringing it up and claim he was lucky then but the fact remained. Scott had his parents and the only thing he ever told Franck about them was right now when he said they had high expectations he could not meet. Oh, and the pain but that he certainly didn’t mean to give him.

Franck was not really thinking about Scott’s relationship with his parents though, nor did he care. In a way, his mother’s rejection was not what hurt him the most. It was this clear separation between his old life and this one. He tried to combine being a mutant and gay with his faith and he would have thought his mother, who had known him all his life and knew he was a good person, would have supported him. He wanted to believe he was not destined for Hell because of who he was. It was way too unfair if all the good he tried to do around him could not allow him a small spot in heaven. Of course, he could not tell that to Scott. He would laugh even more than he was right now. He couldn’t understand how hard it was on Franck.

He flinched a bit at the bluntness of Scott’s answer. Man up. Yeah, he supposed he would have. It was either that or confronting his mother and he knew he could not do that. It didn't matter how ready he’d be to face her, the moment he’ll feel her emotions he would lose all of his confidence. In a way, Scott was right. But he didn’t have to say it like that. Franck eluded his gaze, looking down at everything but the boy before him. “Look, it’s not...” he began to say but only sighed and looked away once again. What was the point of explaining to him? He didn’t even care.

“If those closest to you do not support you, what chance do you have? You might enjoy acting like you need no one but we all need to feel like we fit in somehow. It’s even one of the basic need of human nature,” he argued. He should really stop, he felt like he was only making even more of a fool of himself. He sighed again, frustrated that he could not explain his point. “She’s not the problem, alright. Well, not entirely. It’s just... everything that I was raised to believe when I lived with her, my old life, it’s incompatible with who I am now. You might not care but it’s kind of hard on me so I don’t need your sarcasm, thank you very much,” he added. This time, Franck was more on the defensive. If Scott wanted to judge his way of thinking as weak, he could do so in his mind or elsewhere. Franck was done playing nice all the time.