"The Hammer is My Penis"

[JJ Johnson]

Best part of working security at the fair? Free entrance and passes after work. JJ did have to take off his totally bitching security guard uniform though, which was pretty much a drag. Admittedly, he knew that he could still attract people easily enough, given that it was now summer, which meant that he was allowed to display even more of his flesh. His tight jean shorts and his tank top would put all those muscles on maximum display. JJ even had a pair of sunglasses to top off the look, which he knew looked totally badass.

Now, he just needed to find someone to spend some time at the fair with. Someone he could lean a little on and, ideally, take on the Tunnel of Love later. Would be even better if JJ could steal some hottie away from their date. Yeah, that would be the best thing ever. Weren't there supposed to be dates from the auction or something?

JJ didn't care. He'd finally spotted his target, someone watching the whole strength game involving hitting the bell with a hammer. He sauntered up, practically strutting, then leaned over the person's shoulder:

"Bet I can make your bell ring with my hammer."

Yeah, that's the stuff.

[Faye LaBeau]

Faye had come to the fair to support her students. Several of them had asked if she'd go, urged her to buy one of the boys for a date which she met with a hearty laugh before giving them their final grades. After much debate, she'd decided it was best for morale. Given what her students had gone through over the past few months she was in no position to leave them hanging. She knew how important it was to have adult figures that you could rely on. Being a meta wasn't always easy, they were born into lives of uncertainty and many with unpredictable family units because of it. If they weren't there for each other who would be?

So she went, she watched several of the auctions giving thumbs up and slipping some of the students a few bills to bid a little higher since bidding herself would be inappropriate, even for charity. She then decided to walk the fair grounds and stopped at one of the games, eyeing a fluffy white cat stuffed animal that looked eerily like her cat at home. She took a step to move when a voice buzzed against her ear like a hornet and she spun to find herself standing right next to JJ. A man she'd thought she'd gotten rid of months ago back to haunt her. She wondered if he'd sought her out or if she was just blessed.

"You'd like that a little too much." She said coyly, running her fingers through the bottom of her blonde waves. "Nice to see you JJ. How nice of you to come and support the cause." She'd play nice for the sake of the event. She wasn't looking for trouble and doubted his brain would be able to retain and recall what happened at speed dating anyway.

[JJ Johnson]

Hey, JJ remembered this one. He... okay, he was having trouble remembering if he wanted to beat the shit out of her or screw her till she couldn't walk straight, but that was actually pretty normal. His brow furrowed while he tried to put a name to a face, not to mention locating whatever memories he actually had of the woman.

She recognized him, which meant she wasn't a drunken one-night stand. Okay, so had he tapped that or not? She definitely looked hot enough to be tappable, that much was certain. She kept talking about him supporting the cause or something. "Cause?" he repeated, blinking. He soon grinned. "Oh yeah, that's me. I love supporting all those innocent students and crap," he almost laughed. Okay, yeah, technically he was supporting them by being here. He thought he saw something about how a lot of the proceeds from the fair were going to help families that had been affected by the attack or something. He didn't care.

"And I promise that you'd love it too. Over one hundred bells rung already," said JJ, his voice going deep and low, "and counting."

[Faye LaBeau]

Well, well, wasn't this amusing. It seemed that JJ had forgotten his threats and anger and was acting like a down right pussy cat. The blonde crossed her arms and raised a brow, a smirk laid on her face. "Oh yeah?" She asked "100. Wow. You must make all those bells feel pretty special." He was so gross. 100? Really? She wondered what kind of diseases he was walking around with. Lord knew he wasn't responsible enough to get checked out. Gross.

What made her feel even sicker was the fact that those his mouth spewed bullshit she could tell he wasn't here for the cause at all and rather to win a little prize at the fair.

With Dex still being at work, she had time to kill though and what better a way than to mess with JJ. "Well, this bell sure likes cotton candy." She said sweetly.

[JJ Johnson]

"Some of them come to me for a regular ringing," said JJ, again not getting that he was being insulted, as he pretty well never did unless someone was a lot blunter about it then Faye was being now. He figured that anyone commenting on his sexual prowess was likely praising it, since that happened to be his greatest, most awe-inspiring skill, as the various bells he'd rung in Kalispell would love to say.

Strangely though, he was beginning to get some deja vu here. Had he hit on this girl before? He must have, seeing as she seemed to recognize him. She also seemed to be hitting him up for cotton candy. JJ paused then, looking the girl over. Okay, that seemed really familiar. Not the cotton candy part, but the part where she teasingly promised him something. Why couldn't he remember her?

(because he'd had so many girls between now and the last time he'd met Faye that they all sort of blurred together into some sort of vaguely attractive fleshy blob. Except Tam and Reid; he remembered them, oh, did he ever remember those two. Yum and double-yum)

"Well, maybe I can get you some," he said, raising his brows. "Assuming that you aren't just playing my hammer while you're waiting for your latest boy---or girl," he had to stop and leer at that, since the only thing that got JJ more excited than one hottie (of any sex) was two hotties (again: of any sex).

[Faye LaBeau]

She chuckled as it became more and more clear that he really was an idiot who couldn't remember one blonde from the next. Part of her was relieved, the other part was slightly insulted, all of her was entirely grossed out. He had a reputation, it became more and more clear every time his name came up and she was sure he was swimming with disease. His hands had never touched her, and would never touch her. However she still wanted her damn cotton candy.

"He won't be here for a while. He's working." She assured him. After what he put her through in speed dating a few months ago she'd take her fluffy confection as an apology even if he didn't know it. "Maybe you could," She placed a hand lightly on his pectoral. "I really like sweet things." She also had no intention of sharing said cotton candy.

[JJ Johnson]

Okay, this girl did seem familiar. Maybe she was a stripper? JJ tried mentally stripping off some clothing... which did feel right, but no, no, he hadn't seen her at the strip club. Though he wouldn't know for absolute certain unless he got her to take off her shirt... which was usually hard to do at a fair. He'd managed it before, but not with someone quite this good looking.

Though he had done it with someone who had someone else working somewhere. Quick to admit it, and just as quick to say he was somewhere else. JJ grinned like a fourteen year old who'd just cracked his dad's internet password. She even touched him which... again felt kind of familiar, but JJ told himself that was just because girls touched him all the time, especially hot ones.

"hope you like spicy too, because I am muy caliente," he said, grinning lasciviously. He gave her a wink before ducking off to the nearest cotton candy stand. Yet another thing great about a fair: could be a good, cheap way of buying off a girl. Who needed jewelry or a fancy dinner when you could get cotton candy or an onion blossom? Plus, JJ was definitely looking forward to tasting the sweet---

wait, had he ever tasted this girl before? He had a feeling like he had, or at least had tried...

[Faye LaBeau]

Faye gave a bubbly chuckle at his little joke before watching him disappear into the crowed. She pulled out her phone, glancing at the screen in case Dex had texted her. He should be getting off soon. Should. If he showed up at all. Dex was actually the first guy in a while that she felt some sort of connection to who wasn't dug up from her past... or well... not dug up from her romantic past.

Once JJ seemed far enough away Faye exhaled and turned to continue wandering the fair grounds. Surely, hopefully, he wouldn't find her and if he did find her later she'd just say that she got distracted and wandered off. Or had to pee. Lord knew she was already playing dumb by just talking to him. Seriously? Muy Caliente? She thought not.

Finally, Faye found herself in front of another festival game with a big fluffy white cat as a prize. Perfect, just like Loki. "I'll take a go at it." She told the drooling teenager as she handed over a $5 in exchange for three balls. She missed the first shot.

[JJ Johnson]

JJ still couldn't quite shake that whole feeling of familiarity. How had he forgotten a girl that hot? Had he slept with her? JJ did suffer from sexnesia, where he would often forget the names of sexual partners within hours of actually having slept with them. Somehow, that didn't seem to quite fit right. He continued puzzling over it while forking over money for the cotton candy, turning to find...

...that she'd left. JJ felt anger bubbling up within him, and he glared around for several seconds, turning about, trying to locate her. Maybe she'd just had to use the rest room or something. Totally legitimate reasons popped into JJ's head for about half a second, showing that his brain clearly wasn't working like normal. Then he realized how very, very familiar this situation was.

"The bitch!" he said, rage bubbling up now. He could feel his adrenaline start pumping, which was never a good thing for anybody. Unfortunately for Faye, JJ had been working the fair ground, policing it for extra money.

Which meant he actually knew people here, people who didn't think he was scum to be scraped off a shoe, people who had of course seen a pretty blonde and they thought she'd headed off that way.

There! JJ stormed up to her, still carrying the cotton candy for who knows why. "I see you've already got a pair of balls in your hand. Surprised their not blue. Bitch." Yeah, clearly someone's memory had been jogged, and his power was kicking in. If only there weren't people around...

[Faye LaBeau]

JJ's ability to locate her was impressive. The fact that his memory seemed to kick in was even more so and the blonde couldn't help but chuckle a bit seeing the rage in his eyes. She'd angered him. Poor dear. Poor sensitive little darling. "Sorry did i hurt your feelings?" She asked with a bit of a pout. She knew damn well she was in public and knew damn well he couldn't do much while she was there. The fact he'd forgotten her once was giving her a bit of cockiness that she might pay for later but for now? This felt damn well good.

Faye picked a piece of blue cotton candy off the stick that was still in JJ's hand and popped it into her mouth. "Thanks." She said before throwing the second ball, managing to hit some of the bottles down.

"You want to try the last one? Maybe you can win me a stuffed animal." She was being a bitch and pushing her luck. But her cockiness continued to grow. She was sure he didn't even remember her name, it'd make finding her later that much more difficult. Not that she thought he had the brains to do that anyway.

[JJ Johnson]

Okay, so JJ didn't know quite how to handle this kind of reaction. He was used to people cowering, or maybe getting mouthy, or possibly trying to hit him, whenever he opened his fat mouth. He was not used to someone all but ignoring what he said. Oh, she clearly taunted him with that first, and the grab at the candy. JJ proved about as focused as a squirrel though, his head swiveling as Faye threw the ball.

"The fuck is wrong with you?" he finally said, gesturing at her with a hand. "You think you can just play me like this? I remember who you are, bitch," though not really her name, per say, but names were really secondary, especially in circumstances like this. "You owe me. Keep showing me up in public and," give me that," and JJ turned and flung the ball, not looking. His anger spiked his adrenaline, giving the ball a lot more spin than was needed. The wild throw hit another set of bottles, shattering two of them and knocking a few others down.

"So I suggest you start paying your debt," he growled, stepping forward and swelling, "'cuz you ain't gonna keep getting lucky all the time." There were advantages to being a cop, after all. JJ had already started digging into his phone. He might not remember her name, but a picture could work just as well, and good luck dodging that.

[Faye LaBeau]

Just like a toddler. JJ was just as mature as a toddler who was told he couldn't have a second dessert. It was sad really and maybe Faye was out of her mind, or still high coming off her divorce, but JJ was amusing her instead of scaring her which she was sure wasn't his goal. When he took the ball and flung it at the bottles she winced as they shattered. "I'll take the cat." She told the teenager behind the booth with a wink. "Thanks JJ." She said as she collected her prize.

"Give it up." She said looking over at him as he pulled out his phone, not entirely sure what he planned to do with it. Maybe it was the fact she was dating Dex, or well, had a date with Dex. He was an officer too and whatever JJ could put into place he could undo, or neutralize, or she at least assumed as much. "I know you're used to getting your way or whatever but quite frankly I'm not planning on being another one of your little bullied conquests. Besides what are you going to do? Take my picture and call me a whore? I have friends on the force too."

Her fingers ran through the white fur of the plushie. "And you have to admit... i'm pretty funny." She said a smirk on her face as her blue eyes locked with his.

[JJ Johnson]

JJ grunted in response to Faye's thanks, his eyes flicking that direction for a moment. He hadn't meant to do that, and he wasn't sure whether he should be swelling with pride at managing an awesome shot without trying or fuming with range at effectively having been tricked by Faye into doing pretty much what she wanted. JJ didn't focus on it for long, his one-track mind moving right back to the track in front of him.

Or station, or whatever metaphor worked here; JJ wasn't that picky.

"Sometime," he said, his voice dark, "you're going to be alone, walking home or something. And since I'm an officer of the law, I'll be morally obligated to make sure you get a proper escort home. Of course, if you resist, I might have to put you in cuffs or something, and wouldn't that just suck? Who you think is going to come rescue you? Not so funny now, eh?" he smirked, his eyes flashing almost dangerously. He could only be pushed so far, and she'd done it now. Hell, he was already debating using what influence he had here. After all, here he was on the security staff: she was just some random woman.

Who did she think they were going to believe?

[Faye LaBeau]

The first time he made a threat like that Faye was scared. She was genuinely scared and hadn't left her apartment at night alone for a week. But she never saw JJ. This was actually the first time she'd run into him in months and he didn't even remember her until she decided to play.

"Mmm." She said still smirking up at him. "We'll see about that." She chuckled. "Anyway I have a date with another officer of the law." She said with a mocking tone. She really was pushing her luck. Was it smart? Probably not but boy was it fun and she was high on freedom from her divorce.

"See you around JJ... I mean, Officer." She chuckled turning on her heels.

Despite her cockiness, she still felt rather unsettled. He was a loose cannon and she knew had a feeling she could only push him so far before being in some serious trouble.

[JJ Johnson]

Damn, the bitch was cocky. JJ growled at that, growled at being used, growled at how easily she dismissed his threats. He'd have to actually make sure to follow through with this one: Make her life hell in some way. There were plenty of ways to go about doing it...

wait, she dated another officer? JJ nearly grinned at that. That, that would be easy to figure out. And JJ could certainly do something to another cop. Get them in just the right area, with just the wrong people, and let things take their natural course. Wouldn't be hard to figure out who did it either.

The pretty blonde woman had already turned, and JJ had to scramble. He jerked his phone out, aimed, and clicked. It would give him enough to remember, especially as he snapped not only the back of her head, but a portion of anatomy that he would definitely commit to memory. JJ grinned and logged that away. Now he just had to figure out which one of his coworkers was dating a pretty blonde from the Academy.

In other words: JJ would have to do a little police work.