shouldn't be moving

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe shouldn't be moving. She sort of knew that, what with having been patched up and all. They'd called in some healer though, and her side felt a good deal better. She hadn't actually been shot so much as grazed by a passing bullet, after all. So treating her as though she had lead within her system just felt a little sad. Even then, it wouldn't have kept her away.

She simply had to check on Mr. Konrad. She still could remember him, yelling, fighting for her, insisting that she hide, that he protect her. He had, more or less. They hadn't taken her. They had hurt her, but Zoe didn't see how they could have prevented that. She fingered the broken camera they'd brought back. It sat on her lap now, mostly because Zoe didn't know what else to do with it. It had been her prized possession after all and now, now the lens had been broken and who knew what else was wrong.

Zoe shook her head. She shouldn't be thinking of the camera, not when Mr. Konrad lay just feet from her, wrapped up with an IV sticking into him. Zoe had one of those too; she'd wheeled it along to stand beside her, slowly dripping into her. That was probably part of the reason they hadn't wanted Zoe to move. She didn't want to think too much on it. She just wanted this to be all over, to have Mr. Konrad open his eyes...

Zoe gasped, jerking away from Mr. Konrad. This caused her to flinch as things pulled and tugged, and she pressed a hand to her side. Several deep breaths later, Zoe was able to lean forward again. "Mr... Konrad?" she asked, careful to speak low, not wanting to wake him, but at the same time, hoping against hope that he'd actually woken up on his own.

[Slade Konrad]

It hadn't been the first time Slade had been injured in the line of duty. He was, after all, the recipient of three purple hearts award during his multiple deployments over the past ten years. This was, however, the first time he'd slept well in the wake. It had been just a little over eighteen months since he'd tasted combat. At first, he believed leaving the Army was the best thing he could do. That escaping from the world of blood and death would do wonders for his mental health. What he never anticipated was that he'd miss it. He missed his soldiers. Missed his weapon. Missed the early mornings, the sleepless nights, the crack of gunfire, the snap of the weapon against his shoulder. In short, Slade Konrad missed his war.

That wasn't to say civilian life didn't have its virtues. Being able to sleep in an honest to god bed every night and running water was a luxury he still relished. There was also his new mission here at the Academy. A more noble mission than he'd ever undertaken. The kids who were brought to Bellefonte were scared and unsure of a future that had grown even more uncertain in recent months. There would always be something just beyond the gates of the school looking to harm them. Someone had to stand at the ready. Someone capable and prepared to do what it took. Slade would gladly volunteer himself every time.

The small voice cutting through the droll hum of machinery stirred the big man from his light slumber. His eyes fluttered open and he looked about the darkened room curiously. At first he thought it had only been a sort of half-awake dream that disturbed him but his attention soon focused upon the slender form standing above him. He gave a faint smile as he would recognized the silhouette anywhere. "Zoe." He said quietly. His strength was returning, he'd trained as hard as he did in the gym to lessen the strain of his power, but the internal bleeding and head injury were really the culprits to his drugged, incapacitated state. "You should be resting."

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

He spoke, he spoke and Zoe nearly jumped. Despite her fervent wishes and hopes, she just hadn't expected to actually hear him talk. It was like sitting at the bedside of a coma victim; you wished them well, but you fully expected them to continue laying there. Though that comparison would've struck Zoe as especially silly, given that she knew full well that Mr. Konrad wasn't in a coma or anything.

His words didn't surprise her though, when she'd actually calmed down enough to hear and understand them. She smiled at them, scooting forward a little. The movement caused a little burst of pain to shoot through her, but Zoe could handle it. She lightly pressed against it for a while, before looking over Mr. Konrad.

"I'm doing alright," she insisted. Her eyes swept him a few more times, taking in the various injuries he sustained. "You probably got worse then I did," which Zoe wasn't certain of. To be sure, on a literal level he'd gotten more damage then Zoe, but, well, he was also larger, tougher, better built for this. Zoe still looked like a strong wind would push her over and leave her tumbling in the wind. "Um, thank you," she said, again adjusting and looking at him. "For protecting me."

She might have mentioned it before, but as far as Zoe was concerned, repeatedly thanking someone for saving your life was perfectly acceptable.

[Slade Konrad]

Zoe was alright. Slade knew that, he'd been the one who carried her until nearly collapsing at the steps of the administration office of the Academy. He'd remained conscious just long enough to see her rushed into a waiting ambulance. Still, hearing her speak the words only helped to ease the dull pain that seemed to permeate every inch of his body. "Oh, I'm fine." He lifted a hand some and weakly waved it dismissively. Slade wasn't lying. The injuries he'd sustained, while painful and fatal if left untreated, had been tended to relatively quickly. He still was in a fog of painkillers and his concussion, but he was none the worse for wear and would be on his feet in a couple days.

Slade exhaled slowly at Zoe's continued thanks. He'd been thanked a thousand times before for his service, his heroism, his selfless service. No proclamation of gratitude touched his heart as did Zoe's meek insistence on doing so. "I will not fail those with whom I serve." The pounding in his head caused his eyes to close as he spoke a portion of the Creed that had defined his life for so long. He didn't expect Zoe to understand the mind of a soldier, but it was the closest thing he could think of in his fogged state.

"Zoe, you don't have to thank me." He said softly after a moment to let the noise in his head fade to a dull roar. "It's my duty." She'd still probably insist and Slade would allow her. He wasn't about to tell her not to if it made her feel better. There was a strength to Zoe but it was hidden deep within the fragile exterior. Hopefully, one day, she'd be able to let that strength come to the surface. "You did good." He said, his eyes opening again to look up at the girl. She'd acted in the face of danger. She was injured and scared but still had the presence of mind to strike back and damn near kill one of her attackers. She had every right to curl up on the floor of the bathroom and await her fate but she didn't. "You stepped up when you had to. Don't forget that."

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe was tempted to point out that Slade didn't look too fine. He looked as though, well, he'd fought off several guards and somehow managed to defeat them. But she wasn't one to argue with, well, just about anyone, but especially people who'd gone through as much trouble as Slade had gone through for her. She still wished she could do something. Maybe reach up and touch him, let her power do some good. That had been something she'd thought of before, somehow using the paralyzing parts of her power to help wounded people feel just a little better.

He seemed to get a little better just from hearing her thanks. She nearly sighed at that, certainly allowed herself a shy little smile. She thought she heard him say something, something about not failing. It sounded very soldierish, almost knightly, but Zoe didn't think she should point it out to him in case he'd just sort of said it aloud. Best to continue remaining quiet.

Except for when he addressed her. Zoe's head nearly snapped up as he began talking, and she listened intently. His duty? "That doesn't mean you shouldn't be thanked for doing it," she replied, looking away for a moment and taking another deep breath. People should thank other people for things like this, and, well, Zoe always felt like she was such a burden on everyone, this only served to further prove it. She shook her head as Slade countered those thoughts with his own.

"that wasn't something good," she said, feeling her voice catch. "I almost---that person and--" she swallowed, trembling, nearly wanting to curl up again. She felt her throat catch, the memory of it, the sheer terror that had filled her, her attempt to use her power...

[Slade Konrad]

Slade had trouble accepting thanks for things like this. He'd returned home from war more times than he could count and each time praised had been heaped upon him and his peers for doing little more than their duty. Even when travelling in uniform the big man never knew how to respond to the occasional random passerby who would stop to blindly thank him for his service without knowing what he'd done or gone through. There was always a disconnect between Slade and those people. That disconnect wasn't here with Zoe. He'd fought to save her, to keep her from being abducted by SPECTRE. He hadn't killed for some vague sense of patriotism but for the timid girl who stood before him. He took a deep breath and nodded. "You're welcome, Zoe." He said after a moment.

Slade's brow furrowed, which caused faint wince as it stretched out the stitches in his forehead where he'd been shot. "No." He insisted, his eyes sternly settling upon Zoe. "Don't." Even in his weakened state Slade cut an intimidating presence. He wouldn't allow Zoe to feel remorse over the use of her power. She'd made a decision that could have saved her life. Sure, Slade had finished the job, but she'd bought herself time. Nonetheless, she'd fought back. That was admirable regardless. "Zoe, you made a choice. It was either you or them." This mirrored a conversation he'd had a dozen times with his soldiers over the years. "Don't ever feel remorse for being the one who came home."

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

You're Welcome, as though thanks were actually worth something. Zoe wasn't sure if that was entirely true; she certainly didn't feel like her little thank you balanced the scales. She just owed so much to the rest of the world that she simply didn't see any way for her to possibly begin paying it back.

The panic had settled in soon after ,and she nearly yelped when Slade moved. That stern gaze and intimidating presence worked terribly upon Zoe, in that she froze almost like a deer in the headlights. She even knew that there was no way that Slade would possibly hurt her, not after everything they'd gone through together. Still, his presence just had that sort of effect on people.

You or them, and coming home... it almost sounded like the type of talk that soldiers gave one another. Zoe swallowed, nodding shakily, still not entirely convinced. She knew that the face would haunt her dreams for a while, the face of someone she'd very nearly killed. She felt like curling up and crying, cursing Fate or God, whatever, whoever kept putting her through these things. She managed a deep, trembling breath, feeling her body quivering, which only brought home how very weak she was, which had her trembling all the more, the self-pity stacking quite nicely atop itself, rendering her quite silent.

[Slade Konrad]

Slade's eyes dropped as the memories of battles fought long ago came flooding back. He'd seen the look in Zoe's gaze. There was fear there he'd seen so many times. It always took a piece of him when he had to deal with his soldiers who'd seen action for the first time. Not matter how many times you were put through it, it never got any easier. And these were trained, combat ready men and women. Not frightened high school kids. It wasn't fair but life rarely was.

"Zoe." He looked back up to her and patted the empty space on the bed beside him. "Sit down. Take a breath, alright?" He said with a slow exhale. "Everything's going to be okay." The girl was shaking like leaf in the wind. It tugged on his heart to see her so rattled. Mostly because he'd been there before. "I was with the Third Ranger Battalion during my first deployment to Iraq." He started the tale slowly as he recalled the memories he'd long buried. "This was back when it was bad. We were getting hit with I.E.D.'s left and right. Lost a lot of good soldiers that year."

Slade paused some as he gathered the right words to continue. There was a point to all this, he hoped Zoe would stick with it long enough for him to get to it. Handling emotional stress like this was a delicate process. He only hoped some of his experiences would help ease the mind of the girl. He looked to her, studied her face, her body language. He didn't wish to cause her more emotional trauma in an attempt to help her cope.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Sit down; easy enough to do. Zoe sat, taking deep, sucking breaths, working her hands, opening and closing them. Take deep breaths. Everything was going to be okay. It hadn't been, but it would be now. People had stopped them; Zoe would remain here until things cooled down. Everything would be fine.

Zoe barely heard the first few bits of Mr. Konrad's story. She heard vague words, enough to draw her attention onto him. Battle; it was a battle story, about his time as a soldier. Zoe blinked, looking at him, confusion dominating her trembling form for several seconds. Why... why was he telling her about this? To compare it? Oh God, was she some kind of veteran now? She hadn't ever wanted this.

No, stop, think. She took a deep breath, her slim body quivering. "What---what happened?" she tried, her voice wavering, nearly overcome with raw emotion.

[Slade Konrad]

Slade saw the emotions threatened to spill over and take hold of the young girl and he frowned. He even reached up and placed a hand on her shoulder, being careful to avoid any bare skin. His massive paw settled lightly against Zoe and he gave a short nod. It would be okay, the ride he was taking her on wasn't for nothing. With a deep breath and a bit of a check to ensure Zoe was alright, Slade returned to the sweltering desert of Iraq.

"With how hard they'd been coming after us with bombs, we knew they were just trying to soften us up." He explained, pulling his hand from Zoe and settling back into the hospital bed. "We knew we were going to get hit, hard. And soon. Sure enough, about half way through, it happened." His eyes drifted away from the slender girl sitting beside him as he found himself deep in thought while recounting the story for probably only the second, maybe third time. "I was a private at the time and we had this corporal, Knowles, was his name, who was basically second in command of our team." Slade knew to keep the military terms limited. "But Knowles had no leadership experience himself. Hell, it was his first deployment too."

Slade paused a moment before he began to delve into the heavy part of the story. He didn't speak much of his time overseas. That was partially due to the lifetime confidentiality agreement he had to sign upon entering into the Special Forces that forbid him from doing so, but mostly he rarely felt a desire to relive such experiences. No civilian could ever truly comprehend war. It was impossible. He didn't hold onto anything from his time in service so he never felt the need to discuss it. It was rare anything he learned while deployed related to his new life here at the Academy. Rare, but not impossible.

"We got hit right in the middle of the city." The big man continued finally. "It was bad. The first two trucks were taken out, we lost three men in the initial hit, including our team sergeant. Once we realized what happened and started taking action we realized out lieutenant, the guy who's supposed to be telling us all what to do, had froze." There was a flash of disdain that touched Slade's eyes as he said that. But he shoved the emotion down and moved forward. "So there we were, with wounded, dead, and taking fire from what seemed like everywhere. And who the hell do you think stood up and took control?" He chuckled lightly. "Corporal Knowles, who'd spent the first minute of the attack bawling like a baby climbed out of our truck and started barking orders like a seasoned vet. Once all was said and done we'd pushed the enemy back, captured two key leaders, protected a family stuck in the crossfire and, most importantly, didn't lose another soldier." His eyes shifted back up to Zoe. "And the entire time Corporal Knowles crying his eyes out. Just tears streaming down his face. I asked him later why and he said he was so damn scared he couldn't help but cry."

Slade paused a moment, hoping the relation between his story and the experience the two of them had recently undergone would be obvious. Just in case, he clarified. "It doesn't matter if you're scared. It's okay to be scared. It just means you're human. But even if you are more frightened than you've ever been in your life you can still fight back if you have it in you, and you did, Zoe." Slade shifted some so he could look into the girl's face. "You're stronger than you know."

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe always liked stories; who didn't, really? Oral stories though, tales spun by people, especially those dealing with reality, with their own lives, had always fascinated the young girl. The way the voice moved, the cadence of the words, how everything built upon each other, a structure made of words to be detected only by a set of ears. So it was almost too easy for the girl to be enraptured in what Slade said, despite not having a fondness nor much knowledge for the military or military stories.

Nonetheless, Zoe proved an excellent audience. She listened, hearing a tale both too familiar and too alien for her to think. Her eyes widened at the thought of an attack, a firefight. She'd been through that now and found she didn't want to go through it ever again. Thinking of holding a gun, being absolutely terrified.... it nearly made her want to tremble yet again.

Couldn't help but cry. Zoe blinked. Was he saying that she... yes, yes he was. It didn't matter if she was scared. She sniffed and reached a hand up, working at her wet eyes. Fight back, she almost choked at that.

"I hated it," she mumbled again, pulling her legs up, wrapping her arms around it. "I don't ever want that to happen again," Zoe turned, realizing that Slade looked at her face. She took another trembling breath. "I don't feel very strong," she finally admitted, reaching up to wipe at her eyes. "All I did was attack someone, and I mostly just... flailed. If you hadn't been there..." she shook her head, curling up again, wishing she could just draw herself inward. The Corporal had given orders, had fought. All Zoe had done was flail.

[Slade Konrad]

Slade looked up to the girl with a hint of sadness in his eyes. It suddenly wasn't enough that they'd survived without any permanent injury. Not enough that the enemy had been defeated and he and Zoe were able to go home. No. Slade felt the pang of guilt that the conflict had gotten so far. That it had happened at all. He should have been more aware, should have seen it coming and stamped out the threat before it could traumatize the young girl so. His head shook as he tried to force the thoughts from his head. He couldn't allow himself to get caught up in such things.

"I've been there so many times." He confessed. "I lost count years ago how many fire fights I've been in." The number of bodies he'd seen. The amount of blood spilled. The number of lives he'd taken. "And I hated the feeling of every single one." It never gets easy. It was an old, tired mantra, to be sure, but it was true. No sane human being every reveled in taking a life or could shrug off a comrade's death without it leaving some scar.

Slade gave Zoe's shoulder a gentle, comforting squeeze. "It's not a matter of feeling strong, Zoe. You were strong whether you think so or not. And don't worry about what you did but take comfort in knowing that when you needed to you did something. Having the courage and wherewithal to act is half the battle." He explained with a nod. He was now in full on comfort mode. He couldn't stand to see the girl so upset but feared every word that came from his mouth would only serve to pluck at the strings of doubt and uncertainty within her. He hoped desperately he could reach her and give her at least some semblance of peace before they parted ways.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Zoe listened once more, taking deep breaths. Hated it, but you did it. Zoe fidgeted, biting her lip. Was that how things would have to be? no, no, she wouldn't let it happen like that, not if she could help it. She felt the hand upon her shoulder, felt the squeeze, and she tried to relax a little. She did look over at him.

Were strong, acting. "I guess," she said, her voice wavering. "I'm just glad it's done," she took another deep breath, opening and closing her hands. Would it be easier the next time around? Did she even want to find out? No, no, this was only the first time; she wasn't going to let it happen again. She took another deep breath.

"I do think I'm going to stick to the stables from now on,' she said slightly playfully, despite the waver in her voice. She looked over at Slade, smiling again. "the horses did seem a good deal safer than the SPECTRE agents," and Zoe could certainly deal with them again. she took another deep breath, closing her eyes. Yes, she could still live a normal life. She'd only been shot for the moment, just a moment, a fleeting point in time.

The face of the SPECTRE person, no, the faceless body flashed in Zoe's eyes and she snapped them open, taking several more shaky breaths. She really wanted to just crawl into Slade's bed and curl up in his arms, but somehow she didn't think that would be all that plausible.

[Slade Konrad]

"It is done." Slade reassured Zoe with a nod and another gentle squeeze of her shoulder. "Done and over with. Look ahead to tomorrow. Don't let yesterday get stuck in your mind." It sound terribly cliche, even Slade knew that. But it was the only thing you could in a situation like this. There was always a period of emotional vulnerability, but there was always a mission to complete. Always a reason to look forward, not backward. Zoe's mission was over, that was for certain, but she had far more awaiting her in the future than she had lingering in her past.

The small bit of humor brought out a smile. There we go. Zoe was starting to come around. Or, at the very least, she was attempting to put on a strong front. Either way, it was an improvement. "Yeah. We should keep that in mind next time we're looking for things to do." He didn't know what the SPECTRE debacle would do to the order that Zoe require an escort whenever she wished to leave the campus proper, but he did hope, either way, it wasn't the end of their time spent together. He really had become quite fond of the girl.

Slade watched Zoe for a moment as her eyes closed and she began to lose herself in thought. He wished, like he had many times since he'd gotten to know Zoe that he could read minds, although he had a feeling what it was that had caused her to fall silent. He could only hope the images, thoughts and emotions she was feeling would subside soon enough and she could then attempt to move on with her life. When her eyes opened he shifted so he could look up into her face. "Hey." He said softly. "Anything you need, I'm here for you, okay?"

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Things to do... Zoe fidgeted a little. Was it horrible that she still wanted to go to the tree again? Still wanted to explore the cabin? Part of her wanted to almost go back immediately, see the place where she'd been hurt, where so much damage had been done. As Zoe thought about it, she realized that it was very quickly becoming less of an idle thought.

It fought against the fear, which just made her body and mind lock for a moment. The soft words stirred her, and she turned, blinking as she looked at Slade. "Would you take me back there?" she asked, her voice wavering. "Not right away, but soon. I--I think I need to go back. Soon. Then to the tree. I--I don't--"

She didn't know quite what to say. She saw that image, felt what it did, and part of her just wanted her life back, to do what it took. She almost felt... angry? It did feel hot in her chest, but it warred with all the other conflicted emotions. One thing was absolutely certain: Zoe was definitely going to need to unload her feelings on someone. The school should have people though, people she could talk to...