Waving the White Flag

[François Laffont]

Did Erika see his letter? He wasn't quite sure. He wanted to trust Trevor and think the boy did give it to his girlfriend. He seemed like a nice guy when they talked and Franck really wanted to give him the chance he didn't feel he gave him at first. But the fact remained that his main concern was over his best friend as opposed to her best friend's lover. In the end, whether Trevor liked him or not, whether he forgave him or not, mattered little if Erika didn't want to speak with him anymore. He knew she would not be mad at him forever, that she would forgive him the things he said. The real question was if she’d still want him as a friend after that. Thinking of it created knots in his stomach all the way to his throat.

He wanted this whole situation to be over already. If she decided she did not like this part of him and wanted to stop seeing him, Franck wanted to know it now. He also wanted to properly apologize, face to face. The note he gave her was one thing but the French boy felt the need to say it out loud for it to mean something. He had to apologize for his behaviour. But there was something else. What she told him, regarding Felix and herself, he kept thinking about it. Now, as she told him then, this was none of his business but he still wished to sort it out somehow. He knew nothing would be quite like it was before but he refused to accept their friendship, for all three of them, could end like this.

When he saw her at the cafeteria, he thought that now was as good a time as ever. At least, with everyone around, they might try and avoid another fight. Franck didn’t have any alcohol in his system so that sure played in their favour. He walked all the way to her and as he now stood in front of her, he pulled out a tissue and dropped it in front of her food tray. He waited for her to look at him to shrug. “That’s the closest to a white flag I could find around here,” he explained with a sheepish smile showing up on his face. A part of him wanted to use his power on her. He could, it was so easy. All he had to do was to push away the emotions he got from everyone else and focus on hers. He could even touch her to make it easier. But he fought the urge. “Can I sit down?” he asked her. He gave her one of those puppy stare, or at least figured it looked a lot like those puppy dog eyes, as he waited for her to tell him if she wanted to see him or not. The knots returned in his stomach. He was even surprised at this point that no one could see one in his throat.



{You can find the letter here}

[Erika Conner (Bellefonte)]

Erika had received the letter made by Franck from Trevor, but she hadn't gotten the chance to do much about it. She wasn't really mad. She wasn't even sure if she had been mad to begin with; She understood where Franck was coming from, but it didn't make it any less annoying because at the end of the day, whatever happened between her and Felix had nothing to do with him. He had no right to pick sides or butt into their affairs. She wasn't even going to pretend that it was okay, but she was fairly sure Franck already knew that. She was well aware of the sticky situation that had been created between his two closest friends, but in the end, it didn't matter, because that was just what it was; Between his two closest friends. Not Trevor. Not Franck. Not Elsa. Erika and Felix.

Even so, her mind had been too occupied with other affairs to really do much about what had happened. She and Felix had talked and decided that it was better if the two of them stayed away from one another, and really, Erika didn't mind. Of course, she would always care about the older boy, but when everything was said and done, Felix was emotional and dramatic, and his personality didn't mix well with Erika's rash nature. It wasn't an excuse, it was a fact, and even today, sitting here in the cafeteria, Erika couldn't help but to think that she had really and truly dodged a bullet. She was happy with the choices she had made. No, she was proud.

Lifting her gaze to meet Franck's, there was a hint of surprise showing in her expression. She did have to smile though at his attempt at waving the white flag. She wasn't entirely sure what to say, but she was still happy to see him. And Erika knew that Franck knew that she was. He was an empath, after all. The puppy eyes didn't exactly make it any easier either. Even if she had wanted to, she couldn't have stayed mad when he looked at her with those kind of eyes. "Yeah, of course," she said and nodded towards the free chair at the opposite end of the table.

Sighing a little, Erika put her palms against the table and pursed her lips. "Look, there's no need for some feelsy conversation about how we both said things we shouldn't have and..." she trailed off, scrunching her eyebrows. "I'm sorry." That was the best thing to do right now, right? Just put the past in the past and move forward? She thought so. She didn't really have anymore room for drama. She had more important things to focus on. After all, these two months was the last of her freedom before embarking down the road of a career path she didn't even want.

"How are you?"

[François Laffont]

Franck was certain that, had he been totally himself at prom, he would never have acted this way. Sure, he wanted to know what happened exactly as much as those involved, he was so close to both Erika and Felix. But if he heard anything of importance, he would have urged them to talk to each other, not meddle in. Of course, it was easy to say that now. Even to the boy, it sounded just as a way to justify himself, to give him an excuse. He didn’t want to think he was nosy. Could he really be like that, was he the kind to deal with other people’s business? He thought he was only being helpful but he now had a different image of himself, one he didn’t like so much. Too bad there was no catholic church around here. Was there even one? Franck never really checked, he simply assumed that since they were English people, they should mostly be Lutherans.

That didn’t change the fact Franck was ashamed of his behaviour in what happened. While trying to protect one of his friends, he insulted another. He knew he might need more than an apology to make amends. In his mind, he had been terrible on Erika, being against her without even hearing her side of the story. He truly wanted to fix it, make sure there would be no ill feelings between them. He will have to leave what happened between Erika and Felix between the two of them. It was hard, but necessary. He felt like he did enough damage.

Franck held his breath when her gaze met with his. Would she dismiss him? She smiled at his little gesture with the tissue. She could have taken it as a bad joke but she did not. It was harder for him to read her particularly, since they were not alone in the cafeteria and he got the emotions of everyone coming at him, being some music in the background. He forced himself to focus. He wasn’t sure if it was right, he usually disliked forcing his way into people’s feelings, but he needed to know. She seemed happy, not too hostile against him. He relaxed on the spot. She even told him he could sit down so he did just that, bringing his schoolbag on his lap.

He froze a moment when she talked. Obviously she wanted to cut short to whatever he would like to say regarding what happened and go straight to the ’I apologize, I forgive you’ part. He sighed heavily, a sigh of relief, as she said that. Suddenly, a huge weight was taken off his shoulders. “I’m sorry too, really. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that. I tried to watch over Felix and, well, I went a little far,” he admitted, a sheepish smile appearing on his lips as he thought about it. He lifted a hand, a finger up to ask her to wait, before digging in his bag. He pulled out a small snack bag with a single chocolate French macaroon inside. After placing it on the table, he slid it her way. “Call that the macaron of peace,” he said, speaking the word in French since he always had trouble saying English words the English way when they were so similar to the French one. He knew it was a bit ridiculous, let alone the idea that, had she not forgiven him so easily, he intended to buy it with a single macaroon. But he thought it was a nice gesture. A French sweet handed over by a Frenchman, it even was a nice concept! Alright, maybe not that nice, but it was conceptual and she could not deny it.

He had another sigh when she asked how he was. “Not sure yet. I’m still trying to fix all the mess that was created at prom. I get the feeling the only one who acted properly that night was your boyfriend,” he admitted. Trevor sure did the smart thing when he stepped back. Too bad they didn’t do the same. “You?”

[Erika Conner (Bellefonte)]

Pressing her lips into a thin line when Franck lifted his finger, Erika did as she was told and remained silent. She watched the boy drag a snack bag out of his bag and watched closely as he slid it over the table. His words and the gesture was met with a smile as she reached her own hand out to pick the bag up, studying the bag for a moment before sighing, "Thank you, Franck," she said silently before placing the bag back on the table. He hadn't needed to, but it was a nice gesture nonetheless.

"Mmm," she said, nodding, "Trevor does that a lot," she sighed. She wasn't entirely used to people referring to him as her boyfriend when she could hardly use that word herself. It seemed odd, in a way. She much preferred 'significant other' or 'partner'. But, Erika wasn't one to get stuck on details. "I'm okay," she said, forcing a smile before looking at the bag again. That wasn't really a lie. She was okay, all things considered. Sure, she was stressed, depressed and feeling exhausted from everything, but she was still okay. However, she didn't feel the need to delve further on her well-being. She hadn't even talked to Trevor about it, or Elsa, and right now, they were the people she told everything first to. "Don't worry too much about it though. It happened for a reason," Erika shrugged.

Lifting her gaze to meet the French's boy's again, Erika debated whether or not to tell him she and Felix had talked, and figured out that even though they cared about one another, they didn't really see any future as friends anymore, but she figured it was best not to. The wounds were still too new and tender; She'd hate to pour more salt into it, and truth be told... She was okay with how things had turned out. She had more important things to focus on.

"How did your talk with Trevor go?" Trevor had seen the French boy in a positive light, which was a good thing, she figured. Though, she couldn't shake the feeling that it was simply history repeating itself. What happened the next time drama happened? Would Franck do the same thing he had done at prom? Did it even matter anymore? Sure, as much as Erika cared about the boy, she would be lying had she said this didn't change things. If even just a little. She felt herself keeping Franck on an arm's length rather than trusting him blindly like she had before. Maybe she just needed time to lick her wounds. She hoped so.

[François Laffont]

It was not like Franck meant to buy her friendship back. If he did, he would have brought a lot more than one small chocolate macaroon. No, the macaroon was only a gesture, a symbol much like the tissue he used as a white flag. It did not solve anything but proved he wanted to fix things between them. To him, the fact she took the bag and did smile for a brief moment was a good sign. He wished the smile would have been bigger or stayed longer but it was a start.

She did tell him she was okay but Franck knew it was a little more complicated than that. It was like himself. He couldn’t say he was happy right now. But he was not unhappy. Still, he had an advantage over Erika: he was not talking to an empath right now. He could not help but to frown at the vibes he got from her. He wanted to reach for her hand, to look at her in the eyes and ask what could be the problem. But he was not yet sure she would let him. “Still. What happened between you and Felix, I know it’s none of my business but I still feel responsible. I pushed him to admit his feelings for you and even if I couldn’t believe you would have turned him down so cruelly I didn’t ask for your version first,” he said. He only meant to help. Which was why it hurt so much. He had the best intentions in the world and still made a mess of it all. “I understand things will never be the same between the two of you but please don’t judge him too harshly. He thought she didn't want anything to do with him and he still risked his life to save you. That says something,” he added. It might seem kind of weird that he was so affected about the two of them no longer being friends, since he was not involved in this, but he was. It pained him to think they would grow strangers to each other.

He gave her a smile when she talked about Trevor, inquiring about their conversation. “Pretty well, I’d say. I’m glad he didn’t take my attitude at prom to judge what can of person I am,” he told her with his smile still on. Trevor made a good impression on Franck. He still recalled Frank saying he was in shady business but since her source was the Dirty Laundry and all she could say he did was help her sneak a student out past curfew, he didn't think much about it. “He loves you,” he said, very seriously. Franck had been surprised to see how strong his feelings were, considering they were still rather new. But it only made him look more appealing to Franck’s eyes. “I want to say, I never had anything against the two of you seeing each other. I know it might have sounded different at prom. I can tell he makes you happy. As your friend, it’s all I want for you.” He didn’t want Erika to think turning Felix down meant he would dislike any of her future lovers. In the end, she was free to choose whoever she wanted.

The more he talked and tried to make amend, the more Franck wanted to get closer to Erika, to be as close as they used to. But he could feel something inside of her. Her feelings towards him changed, if only a little. He knew he deserved it but Erika might not be conscious of this part of her almost pushing him away, keeping him at a safe distance. It hurt him, made him bite the inside of his cheek as he tried not to talk about it. He avoided her gaze, fearing she would be able to tell that he knew had he looked at her straight in the eyes.

[Erika Conner (Bellefonte)]

Erika's smile fell when Felix was once more dropped into the conversation; To say that she was salty about what had happened and how it had gone down was putting it lightly. Sure, she could have been blamed for the kiss, but he had kissed her back. She had told him to walk away and that she didn't know if she had feelings for him. She had told him not to wait, because he'd might be waiting in vain. And she had told Felix all that even before getting kidnapped. He was the one who had chosen to pursue her, after all. "Perhaps," Erika said dryly and looked away, "What happened, happened. It is the way it is because it's meant to be," she said silently and shrugged. She wasn't really interested in furthering the discussion. She hoped she made that clear.

"He does that," Erika agreed, forcing a smile. Really though, she was glad Trevor had stayed out of the drama as much as he had. He didn't really need to be dragged into her own problems when he had his own to deal with. Not that Erika really indulged anyone into her inner thoughts as it was, and when she did, it usually just blew up in her face. "Mmmm," she said, nodding absentmindedly. She didn't mean to come off as distant or disinterested, but she didn't feel like it was right to discuss her current relationship with the French boy with him being friends with Felix and all. It just... Felt odd, in a way. "I know, Franck. You don't have to explain yourself," she said and looked at him again, sighing.

"Can we just drop it, please? Like I said, we both said and did things we didn't mean, and it's far better to just move past it and learn from our mistakes." Sighing again, the brunette ran a hand through her hair and let her gaze wander through the cafeteria, never staying in one place long enough to really focus on anything.

With everything, SPECTRE, all the drama, the rumors and now, her pre-planned career, things like this, it was just too much for her to focus on. She felt as if that even if she tried, her brain just shut off and prevented her from clearing her mind enough to actually make any coherent thoughts. She just wanted it all to end and be done with. She wanted to move forward and put everything else behind her.

[François Laffont]

He knew talking of this might actually revive some wounds that had not yet fully healed but Franck considered it a necessary evil. You only needed one crack in your foundation to have your house crumbling down. He didn’t want this to happen. He wanted to come clean, to have her know he was aware he made a mistake and meant to make amend, that he wanted to get passed that to be the friend he thought he never ceased to be. Sure, he didn’t prove to be very friendly back then but from his point of view, it was to help another and so he could not be blame as harshly as if he’d only been mean to Erika for the sake of hurting her.

Franck expected to feel pain from her but he didn’t expect her to express it that way. She found her dry and distant and Franck feared it was meant to be the new way she would greet him now. He had already felt like she was pushing him away a little after they rescued her but then he blamed it on the recent events and the fact she might have to process them first. The thought that she might have talked to him of it before, or at least of Trevor, instead of letting him know from rumours through the grapevine only came later. He was not mad that she was standing up for herself but being tossed away because she no longer needed him as an emotional pillar did bring a feeling of rejection in the boy. Must be how your teddy bear felt when you considered yourself too old for it.

Of course, Franck didn't want to burden Erika with his state of mind. She had enough on her shoulders. And he feared it would come out wrong like his words did at prom and then he might lose her for good. It would be worst then being put in a corner, taken out only on occasion. She seemed to warm up when they talked of Trevor. But Franck still had this feeling she kept some distance between them. Once more, he forced himself to suck it up but he only wanted to reach out for her in some way. The only reason why he was not hugging her right now was the fear she might physically reject him.

“I feel like I do,” he argued although his tone remained soft. “You’re my friend too and I don’t want the fact that Felix is my friend forcing you to feel like you can’t talk freely to me,” he told her. Franck sighed after that, looking down. “Anyway, I wouldn’t worry if I were you. I don’t know if I’m still his friend,” he added. Why did he kiss him? Franck found himself so stupid for having done such a dumb thing. It was not exactly the kiss. Had he done it with any other straight man, he wouldn’t have minded as much. But Felix... He sighed heavily when she asked if they could not drop it. He met with her gaze again. “I want it to. I just want to, you know, clear the matter first so it doesn’t come back to haunt us,” he said, gesturing with his hand as if he was cutting something in half or something. He stared at her for a moment, not daring to talk. He wanted to touch her, to hold her hand and know for sure if she was forgiving him and going past that. “I really wish we can someday talk to each other like we always used to.”

[Erika Conner (Bellefonte)]

"It's not that I feel like I can't--" she said, but stopped. No, she trusted Franck. She always would. And really, when she thought about it, it wasn't really what had happened at prom that had the young Bellefonte pulling away... No, it was everything else. She was just so sick of the drama and the trouble that seemed to follow her around like a lost puppy. It was wrong of her to take her negativity out on the French boy. So, knowing that, why was it so damn hard for her to reach out to him like she had a million times before?

She looked at him then. Her brows furrowed as she reached her hand out to place it on top of his, "I'm sorry," she said softly and shook her head, "I'm not really mad at you--" she sighed, "I'm just mad at everything I suppose. Not prom and that, I mean... As foolish as it was, I kind of see where you were coming from, but.." But what? There was no buts. "I'm just.." she trailed off and removed her hand.

Leaning forward, the telekinetic pressed her forehead against the table and closed her eyes. "I don't know," she whispered. She was confused. She was pissed. She was sad. She was angry. She was everything all at once and it was just so incredibly exhausting. She was so used to dealing with all of this on her own; Being completely closed up to the world and everyone in it, yet Franck had made her open up so many more times than what she could count, and she wanted to do that again, but her words got caught in her throat and she could feel the stinging sensation grow behind her closed eyelids.

"I'm just so damn tired of everything," she whispered again and looked up. "Why can't things just be simple and problem-free, you know?" No, that sounded wrong. "I mean--" she shook her head. "I'm not really talking about prom-- though... I assume you knew that--" she grimaced. "I'm sorry, okay?"

[François Laffont]

Franck stared at Erika as she began to talk. Whatever she was trying to say didn’t seem all that easy to come out. He felt sorry for her. So many things happened to her, even before she was kidnapped. When she was not jumping head first in the drama, others created it around her. His twin sister and Ellen both told him they tried to help her by letting her get out of the school for a while, to get away from the drama at the same time.

Franck knew he was a bit of a drama magnet too. The price to pay for dealing with all those emotions all the time. When she touched his hand, all that she was feeling at this right moment came to him, screaming to him so they can finally be heard by someone. He was forced to take a deep breath and was even tempted to pull his hand away, not because he didn’t take this gesture from her, but because it was a lot to take at once. Erika was the kind of person to bottle up her emotions, deep inside. It only made them stronger to Franck, hitting him hard in a very confusing wave.

He didn’t want Erika to think he was not there for her however so he forced himself to take them all in and placed his other hand on top of hers, turning his other one in the process so he was holding her hand in his. “It’s alright Erika. You know you don’t really need words to show me how you feel,” he told her. Maybe it was why so many people confided in him. They knew he could tell, feel exactly what they felt. He didn’t really care about the reasons. He was there for them and would feel for them whether they wanted it or not.

He nodded at her words. Yeah, prom was just one more thing to add to the rest. “I feel the same. I wish situations like this one could come with a manual, like this we would know how to handle them,” he added. He let go of her hand, brought his to his mouth as he thought about it. “We all went through a lot, you more than most. Prom was just the last straw and we all blew up. I’m sorry,” he told her. It was actually asking him to say that. Not that he wanted to hold it against her or keep dwelling in the guilt but it was never easy to accept something bad happened and move on from there. He also wanted to say he forgave her but since he felt he had more to apologize for than she did, he felt that saying it might sound presumptuous of him.

[Erika Conner (Bellefonte)]

Erika nodded and averted her gaze, "I'm still sorry," she said and shook her head, "I don't want to make you feel like I'm pushing you away, because I don't want to do that," she said as she finally looked at him again, her eyes scanning his face, looking for any kind of traces of... Well, anything. She didn't want to force him to feel whatever she was feeling, but she didn't see any other choice but to do exactly that. The brunette wasn't exactly known for being great with words, and especially not those used to express her feelings.

She smiled a little at what he said and nodded slowly, "Yeah," she said and sighed, "I suppose it's easier to focus on that stupid kind of drama that doesn't really matter in the long run than what's happening out there--" she started, but her voice broke off and she sighed once more. Did it really matter though? They shouldn't have been so stuck up in all of this and it was obvious that emotions would be high; They were teenagers for god's sake and everyone knew that it was easier to focus on things that didn't matter over what really did; They weren't built to deal with those kind of horrible things. They weren't supposed to go through them. Not yet. Not now. 

"Franck," Erika said, her voice soft, barely above that of a whisper, "I don't blame you. I want you to know that," she said, squinting her eyes as she looked at him, "I probably would have done the same thing." Well, maybe not, but that didn't mean she didn't respect him for sticking up for his friend. Even if that meant going against her. "It was really brave of you, sticking up to Felix like that, and I don't think there's any point in apologizing, because we all made mistakes; Emotions were high and things were stressful for all of us."

[François Laffont]

Franck felt a huge wave of relief washing over him and he knew that for once this feeling came from him and not out of someone else. She didn’t mean to push him away. He knew things will change. He was not that naive, he knew he couldn’t help it. Erika will graduate, move on in her life. He still wanted to know he had a place in her life, however small. Being confirmed this meant a lot. Even if he would try his best not to show any of that to the girl. He had shown his emotions too much already. He needed to control them better, and control the emotions he got from others too.

At least he didn’t need to girl to say too much of her feelings for him to get them. Of course, he needed contact with her to truly get into what she was feeling right now and if Erika let him do that at first, he never liked using his power like this, especially with his friends. He knew he would mean to help them the best he can but that still felt like prying. He had a sheepish smile. She was right, prom, all of this drama, seemed pretty small compared to what was going on. It wasn’t like they now had the whole world accepting and liking mutants. And beyond that, there were tons of other greater problems. But if you start comparing your little problems with war, famine, disease and whatnot, not only you will always lose but it won’t make you feel any better. He had no way to save Africa from poverty. He could help a friend feel better.

He looked at Erika in the eyes as she said his name. Again, he felt relief that she would understand. He grimaced a bit however as she mentioned Felix, even if she said he had been brave and all. “Yeah but I don’t think it did a lot of good. I...” he began to say before he hesitated. Hey, she was his friend, if he couldn’t tell her, who else? “I kind of kissed him,” he admitted, wincing again at the memory. That was stupid, he knew that, just as stupid as fighting against Erika in front of everyone. At least no one saw. At least, he didn’t think anyone saw it. He dismissed it with a wave of the hand, hoping it could have been that simple. “I know, that’s silly. I just, I don’t know. He claimed then there was no big deal but I mean... it kind of is,” he said, struggling to find the words. To him at least, it was a big deal. It was not his kind to do something like this. All he could hope was for this to die down as a drunken mistake.

[Erika Conner (Bellefonte)]

Studying Frank's face, Erika smiled and nodded, "Ah," she said. He had kissed Felix. He liked Felix. It all made sense now. "Felix is a good guy," Erika said and offered Frank a comforting smile. But, Erika also knew that Felix was straight and that whatever feelings Frank had or thought he had, wouldn't be returned. That made her sad, because if nothing else, Erika truly wanted Frank to find someone that could make him as happy as he made everyone else. "You really like him, don't you?" Erika asked. She wasn't going to agree or disagree with it being a big deal or not. It wasn't her choice to make. Her opinion didn't matter.

What mattered was that she finally understood why Frank had taken Felix's side, and that the alcohol had already made those feelings, that need to protect someone you care about even stronger. She would have done the same thing too, had the roles been reversed and had Felix been Trevor. She understood. Possibly a lot better than what Frank though she did.

"I understand," she said instead and lifted her gaze to meet the French's. "You shouldn't feel ashamed or regret it. Whatever happened happened because you wanted it to, not because of some stupid alcohol clouding up your mind. At least now you know, instead of having to walk around, wondering 'what if'." Erika smiled now, even wider than before. She studied his face for another moment before drawing her breath.

"Don't regret what you have done, because at some point it was exactly what you wanted," she said and sounding like she was reading it up from a book.

[François Laffont]

The way she said “Ah”, it had him stare at her. It was like she understood something. Something he might have told her without realizing it. He didn't quite get where she was going claiming that Felix was a good guy. They both knew it and he didn’t see the point in pointing it out. But then she said he liked the guy. Franck opened his mouth, ready to raise an objection. But he said nothing. To everyone else, he said that was not the point, that it didn’t excuse what he did and didn’t even mean he liked Felix. But he knew he liked him. He always had a little crush on his friend. Who wouldn’t? It wasn’t like Erika could judge him, at one point, she crushed him too.

He sighed heavily and when he looked at his friend, he had a small, sheepish smile on his face. “I’m pathetic, am I not?” He knew Felix was straight. He never had a problem with that. Just like Felix never had a problem with Franck being gay. Things might change now, he wasn’t sure. Alcohol and the feelings during prom had him act on his own feelings and do something stupid. “I didn’t mean to do it. I know he doesn’t... that he doesn’t have that kind of inclination. And now...” he said, his palms up as he lifted his hands and letting them fall on the table. Yeah, that hadn’t been very bright of him. He always tried to kindly turn girls down when he sensed they liked him so it wouldn’t be too hard on them and he just kissed his friend whom he perfectly knew about his sexual orientation.

Erika didn't want him to feel ashamed about it though. A little late but he still listened to what she had to say. Shouldn’t regret it, at least now it’s out. not that he had wanted for it to be out though. “It’s just not really nice of me to make things even more confusing for him right now,” he said, sighing heavily again. He’ll have to talk to him and make sure there was no awkwardness between them.

He smiled at Erika though. She was being a true friend trying to cheer him up when only a moment ago he was wondering whether or not they were still friends. “Let’s just forget about this. If anything comes out of this, for good or bad, I’ll tell you but for now let’s focus on more positive things.” He could really use something positive and nice and good in his life right now, even if it was by proxy.