"I Don't Want the Damn Thing"

[JJ Johnson]

“Oh hell,” mumbled JJ, not really caring if it was loud enough for the small child in front of him to actually hear. He didn't even know how the kid pegged him for a cop, as he wasn't wearing his uniform. This was because, shock of all shocks, he'd actually gotten a day off for a change, which meant that he didn't have to wear the blues. Didn't stop some random, snot-nosed little brat from walking up to him like he was some kind of authority figure and admitting that he was lost.

So what the hell was JJ supposed to do with the damn thing? He seriously thought about ignoring it, and had started to do precisely that. Some hardcore ignoring happened next, with JJ looking away from the simpering little rugrat, even walking a few steps away. The kid had followed, practically grabbing onto JJ's pants. He shook his pant leg and considered growling, but this one just wasn't going anywhere, not until he got delivered.

Next JJ spent a good, oh, five minutes looking around, wondering if there were any MILFs about. The kid looked to be maybe four, five, seven, somewhere in that area; JJ wasn't great at ages below about sixteen or so. He just knew that the kid looked old enough to have a mom within bang-range, or maybe a hot single dad; JJ wasn't that picky right now. Of course, JJ didn't locate said parent within that time frame, so he got even more growly. Following that, he did what he thought was the smartest thing yet.

“Hey, you, this kid's lost,” he said, gesturing toward the next random passerby, jerking the kid forward by moving his leg in that direction. “He needs you to find his mom or something.” There, now he could be someone else's problem. JJ's worries were over.

[Willow Leighton]

Due to recent events, Willow had needed to get away from the academy for a bit. If Willow had expected the news to be any easier to take in as the days progressed, she was now sadly mistaken. She still felt just as lost as she had when she first came to America.

But, that wasn't enough to send her hiding in her room. No, that wasn't for Willow. She needed to do something more productive going for her, and clearly, holding up at the school didn't offer much room for that. After a long, inner debate, the brunette had set her nose towards the park down at Kalispell.

With her hands stuck into the pockets of her coat, Willow wrinkled her nose at the people roaming about. Hopefully none would approach her.

Oh, how wrong she could be.

A guy that looked as if he was dragged directly out of some lame as reality show happening on a desolate island and Snotty McGee decided to ruin her perfect day by- Wait, what? Arching her eyebrow, Willow turned to look at the guy, and then the kid, and then the guy again. "And?" she asked. Why on earth would she care about a damned lost child.

"Looks to me like the two of you have bonded quite nicely, I wouldn't want to ruin the... Moment."

With that, Willow turned her head forward again and shrugged. Nope. Not her problem, and it wasn't going to become her problem either.

[JJ Johnson]

The hell was going on here? JJ had a brilliant plan: dump kid off on someone who looked dumpable. This girl clearly had experienced her share of the whole dumping thing before. Plus, she had girl parts, and everyone knew that girl parts obviously meant a mothering instinct and all. Instead, she'd offered an "And" which had JJ sputtering, staring at her with something akin to disbelief. Moment?

"The hell is wrong with you?" he demanded, moving to stand in front of the girl. "This kid's lost. You're a girl, at least," JJ took a step back, almost running right over the kid in question. His eyes quickly scanned Willow. "At least I think you're a girl. Kinda hard to tell. Look, Douty, this is a kid: you're a girl. Use your magical vagina powers to locate his mom or something."

JJ then reached behind him, grabbed the kiddo and dragged him to stand before the girl. The kid didn't seem all that bothered by what happened around him. He just sort of stared up at Willow, then looked at the guy, obviously thinking that he'd just gained another ally in his search for... whatever it was he was searching for. A parent of some kind. Yeah, that sounded right. That was totally it.

[Willow Leighton]

"I could ask you the same thing," Willow said, cocking her head to the side before sighing. "What does being a girl have to do with anything?" Willow asked and looked at the little rug rat with something akin to disgust: She didn't like children. Especially not unrelated children. What made this guy think she wanted to have anything to do with the little devil spawn? "Magical vagina?" Willow's eyes snapped back up the the male, and she almost snorted. Was her serious? Really? Seriously? "Wow, you have a way with words, don't you?"

As the kid was moved closer, Willow instinctively stepped backwards. She didn't want that dirty thing touching her. "I don't want that," she said, nodding towards the child. "It's your problem, not mine: You found it." And no, Willow wasn't one to get easily offended, even when the man put her gender in question. Why would she care about what some stranger thought about her or her looks?

And if this guy really though he was going to ship of that snotty little piece of... Well, it wasn't happening. But, she could probably do something that would serve them both, since he oh so clearly wanted nothing to do with the kid either. "There's a ice cream man giving out free ice cream right around the corner-" Willow pointed towards the end of the path, "You should run over there and see if he has anything left."

[JJ Johnson]

"Yeah, I'm a regular fucking Shakespeare," agreed JJ, puffing up slightly. He debated, for a moment there, about laying on some of his moves, but he got another look at the girl and decided that he'd be better off with a bottle of baby oil and a computer. She didn't seem to want the kid, which didn't really surprise JJ. Did piss him off though.

"C'mon, you're supposed to be all mothering and shit!" he said, waving at her before turning to look at the kid, again running his hand over his face. "That shit's wired--" he began, stopping as the girl spoke again. Ice cream? Free ice cream?

"Fuck the kid!" he said before turning off, sprinting around the corner she'd pointed at. He sprinted at top speed, determined to grab some of the free ice cream before the grubby kids got there and took all the good stuff. Of course, this left the kid with Willow, which, if JJ had stopped at some point to think about it, would've been considered a definite plus in the whole affair. He rounded the corner and started looking, figuring that the ice cream guy was probably obvious, since they had to get kids and all. They usually had music playing or something though, and JJ didn't hear anything.

Weird.

[Willow Leighton]

"Mothering?" Willow scoffed. No, that was as far from the truth as it possibly could ever be. It was amusing though, that this moron was that ignorant to the world around him. What, did he think anything with boobs and a vagina instantly made them a baby maker? Of course he did. "I'm sorry, but I think I'll have to rain on your parade, Mr."

And then he ran.

Blinking, Willow stared after the guy with a dumbfounded expression. Was he really, truly that dumb? This had to be a joke... Right? But he continued to run, and before Willow had much chance to react, the guy had disappeared behind the corner, just where she had pointed at, and Willow couldn't even begin to comprehend what had happened.

Well... Damn.

"You should run too, so the idiot doesn't eat it all," Willow said casually to the little kid. And then he ran too, and Willow seemed to be all but rid of two problems in one day. Perfect.

Sticking her hands back into her pockets, the brunette smiled to herself before turning on her heel. If only more people was that easy to get rid of. It would surely have made her life a lot easier.

"Morons."