Not All Wounds Are Physical

[Devyn Solway]

~Few days after SPECTRE attack~

Devyn was not sure how long she had been unconscious when she first fell into the deep dark slumber. She had fallen into the slumber already while in her shadow beast form when she fully lost control over herself. She was a part of the Distract Team, attracting the attention of the SPECTRE agents to allow the Infiltration team to go in and save the captured students. She remembered people around her that were her allies and how the enemy poured out and wreaked havoc. She remembered feeling pain twice that had messed up her understanding of what was going on. After that everything just went black, only knowing that she probably killed or injured her foes and possibly an ally. No of that mattered now however. It was in the pass and she had been asleep for a few days as her body worked on returning her mental and physical state back to normal and not of the beast.

Slowly her eyes started to flutter open and then shock set in as she tried to quickly sit up. Pain shot like knives in her side preventing her from sitting up all the way and soon laying back on the bed breathing hard. My dad’s ring! Where is it? Devyn's thoughts where panicked as she didn't feel the familiar presence of her father's ring on her hand. If she had lost that she might as well just have died or counted herself as an orphan from losing her connection to her father. A hand that was wrapped up was able to move even with being hooked up to the stupid machine that was keeping track of her vitals. She touched her necklace that was still on and felt her father's ring on it. The panic started to go away as she remembered she had put it on her necklace so she would not lose it. Mind working to figure out how much damage her body had gone through.

Moving the still bandaged hands she could feel bandages around her midsections and moving to where that sharp pain was could feel that there had been a deep cut there. Likely having stiches now. Sweet, new scar. Devyn thought, looking more so on the positive as she blinked a few times, able to see in the dark and worked out that she had a few cuts and bruises and besides that long stich on her side where shrapnel hard ripped through her shadow form and her flesh. She was alive. Was the mission a success? More importantly, where was Zoe? Devyn struggled to at least roll on the side that didn't have stiches as she tried to get her body to obey had and use what very little energy she had to try and get out of the bed and find out either were her girlfriend was or someone who could help. She was in a large room, that had to mean other students or staff that got hurt were probably in here healing as well.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

They'd brought Devyn in and Zoe had nearly panicked again. She'd been confined to the infirmary for a while now, the idea being that she needed to rest, what with being shot and all. Dr. Campbell had been called, had come and helped heal her enough that her arm only bore a flared pink line in place of the quite apparent tear that had adorned it earlier. Parts of Zoe still ached too; the wounds and exhaustion having hit her quite hard. She'd slept more often than not, at least for the past few days. Devyn knew she was here; she'd come shortly after Zoe and Slade had returned to the school. Then Devyn had left, apparently wanting to seek revenge. Zoe didn't want her to, had wanted to protest. She hadn't, of course.

She didn't sleep while Devyn was gone. She waited, sitting upright, fidgeting, wishing that she could do something, anything besides worry. She'd heard something going on outside, something with the other students. People had come in, hurt people, people hurt at least as bad as her, some far, far worse. Zoe had watched the beds filling up, eventually having to try and help as best she could, shaky and wounded as she was. Everything settled eventually, but Zoe was left without a bed, at least for the moment. The staff had relented for her using a chair ,and she'd sat beside Devyn's bed, waiting for the other to wake.

As soon as Zoe knew that Devyn was okay, was awake, she lunged forward, wrapping her arms tight around her girlfriend. She'd been given a long-sleeved shirt by someone, probably another sweater tucked away, and it covered her. The gloves were her own, brought up from below. she'd actually heard that her parents might be sending her stuff soon, but she didn't think of that now. All she thought about was the person she had wrapped in her arms, the person she loved far, far too much, who'd risked herself and was now there, in the infirmary, with her, with Zoe. Zoe hugged her tight, breathing in the scene, wanting to prove that this was real, that Devyn was real, that she was alive, alive and awake. Zoe breathed her girlfriend in, and she cried.

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn remembered that Zoe did not want her to leave, but Devyn was too angry to stay, to angry to stick around while others got to go out there. No, she had a flashy power that was strong; she was going to go out there. She was going to sink her claws and jaws into SPRECTRE agents, and that was what she had done. She did not recall all over it however. Once she felt the pin in both her wolf form and her actually physical form, things went black from them. Devyn's body falling into a hibernating like state, consumed in the cold and darkness of the shadows. Even while she slept she shivered a little as he body worked on trying to get everything back to normal. It made sense that when her eyes had opened that she was able to see in the dark since that was all she had saw in her other form. Not having even known Zoe was there was a bit unsettling but sniffing at the air she realized that her senses were still out of it.

She could hardly smell anything, hear anything, she just could see and since she had been looking the other way she did not see Zoe until she felt arms go around her. Even that sensation was low, which might have been because she had been giving pain killed for her wounds and of course the stitching. Devyn almost let out a growl but the hold was familiar and she was pretty sure that only Zoe would be here as soon as she would wake up. Arms carefully moving to hug back around Zoe and start to rub her girlfriends back as she quickly picked up that Zoe was starting to cry. "Shhh, its okay Zoe. I'm right here. Don't cry." Devyn said trying to comfort her girlfriend in more than just rubbing Zoe's back. Her eyes wondered around the room for a moment, spotting the chair and wondering how long Zoe had been here. Before when Devyn had been hurt that was hours, this time it had been says. Had Zoe remained in that seat for that long and only left when she would have to?

"I'm sorry I left you here. How are you feeling?" Devyn apologized since Zoe did want her to stay and Devyn didn't listen to that request. Then wanting to know how her girlfriend had been doing since the last time she had seen her when Zoe had been hurt. Anger starting to rise up a little again in Devyn but her body was too weak to keep it and she just buried her head on top of Zoe's shoulder, taking in that familiar scent as best she could.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

They were hugging now; Zoe could feel the arms wrapped about her, the familiar touch of Devyn's hands upon her back, trying to sooth her. Ironic that Devyn would be trying to sooth Zoe now, when she was the most recent one here. True, Zoe's arm still stung slightly, but days had helped heal her from most of the wounds, at least the ones left on her physical form. Zoe couldn't see Devyn's eyes moving, didn't know that her girlfriend made note of the chair and wondered. She did hear the words as Devyn spoke them, tightening her hug for a moment. Zoe didn't want to let go, so she opted to speak while still in that position.

"I'm tired," she said, aiming for the most accurate statement of condition for the moment. That was the most prevalent sensation that Zoe was experiencing. Tiredness, a feeling that this should all be over now. But it was, wasn't it? Hadn't this been what they'd needed to finally end things? It felt over.

Words failed Zoe, she simply clung and hiccuped again, feeling Devyn burying herself into it. "it's done, right?" whispered Zoe, unable to keep the question contained. She gave Devyn another squeeze, breathing deep, feeling her breath hitch and quiver even with that slight intake. it felt done, so done...

[Devyn Solway]

It felt good to have Zoe in her arms, especially when part of her had feared for a small moment that she would not be able to do so again. When she had lost control, when she was in that darkness, it did not stop the whispers. She heard them all and that was all there was in the darkness. Dark, cold, and the whispers that always put her down. The ones that told her that she was not good enough, that she was not wanted, should not have been born, should die, didn't deserve Zoe, and on and one; repeated over and over in her head. She was thankful when her power had gone away and she was just left in the dark silence; no dreams even, she thought she had died. So when she had awakened to just seeing the room she knew she was alive and thus immediately thought of her dad. He was still dead, other had died; but Devyn did not and neither did Zoe.

The hug went a little tighter, allowing Devyn to feel it a little more and winching just a little but didn't mind it. She could deal with pain for the sake of holding Zoe so it didn't matter. Devyn was getting the feeling that Zoe didn't want to let her go and that was fine with Devyn as well as she made herself sort of comfortable holding Zoe in her arms and resting her head on Zoe's shoulders, breathing her girlfriend in and enjoying the physical contact. A simple 'I’m tired' left Zoe's lips that made Devyn chuckle a little. "I could understand that. Going to sleep in my arms then tonight for sure, right?" Devyn asked, figuring that if Zoe had been here this long that she might as well just stay while Devyn still had to be here. She did enjoy sleeping next to Zoe, the body heat was always nice and Devyn was big on physical contact after all.

A hiccup and a question about if it was done now. Devyn figuring Zoe was talking about everything involving SPECTRE. She didn't even know about the whole attack on the school since she was away and had been out of it until now. "It should be. I'm back here so I assume that the mission was a success and we got the students back. From what I remember I made sure to send them a clear message about what happens when you mess with mutant." Devyn said after a moment thinking of what she could say that might help Zoe feel better. She lifted her head and looked away but remained in the embrace with her girlfriend. "I'm...sorry. That I was not able to protect you." Devyn said after taking a deep breath, sounded a little bit like she was going to cry, but she refused.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

The question had Zoe nodding. She definitely wanted to sleep in Devyn's arms tonight. Something told her that she'd feel safe then, that Devyn would work like the world's best dream-catcher, squishing all the badness before it got anywhere near Zoe's mind. The physical comfort, the warmth, the presence of Devyn would help too. It helped now, as Zoe practically crawled into Devyn's lap. They'd at least set up some curtains to give the various students some privacy, but that didn't mean they weren't in the middle of a crowded infirmary.

Zoe cried a little more. They were done now; Devyn was back; the mission was a success; people were safe; a message had been sent. The information all washed over Zoe, leaving her with one clear message that embedded itself within her: it was done.

Sorry, Zoe shook her head at that. "It's okay," she said, hiccuping again, "you can't always be with me, and I was protected," that was true, as Zoe had pointed out at the time, those few days ago. Her being attacked hadn't been enough to send troops out to do what needed to be done, but it certainly had been enough to send Devyn out. As usual, that was enough for Zoe. She took another deep, shaky breath, curling against Devyn now. She thought she'd almost heard Devyn's breath hitch, but that certainly couldn't be true...

[Devyn Solway]

A nod and Devyn was happy to have Zoe in her arms all night and as long as Zoe wanted to be in them while she had to remain here. She would protect Zoe, no one would be able to even be able to even get close to Zoe. Devyn might have been still healing and pushing herself but she would use her power and pretty much do anything to keep Zoe from getting safe. She would do the same for Zoe if she had been there when Zoe had gotten attacked. Taken the bullets for her, shilded her, heck she probably like have Zoe crawl into her mouth to just hold her inside. Granted Zoe would be sitting on her knocked out body and Devyn had never actually held a live person inside with her, but the idea in her head seemed like it would work. Devyn could feel Zoe moving into her lap and she adjusted so that she could still be comfortable with Zoe being so close to her. Still rubbing her girlfriends back and thinking of what else she could do or say to help Zoe feel better.

They did have the privacy of the curtains and Devyn could careless about who else was in there with them. None of them matted except Zoe at this moment, sure her friends did matter if any of them were here but right now it was just her and Zoe. Zoe still cried and Devyn was not going to stop her grilfriend for letting it all out, it was good to cry after all. Even if Devyn herself was not a fan of it, but right now it was feeling really hard to not just let out some emotions. Zoe said it was okay, that Devyn could not always be there for Zoe, and that she did have some form of protection. That helped, but not enough. Zoe was Devyn's, she wanted to be the one to protect Zoe. It didn't fully make Devyn feel better about the whole thing and what had been done to Zoe in the first place.

Zoe curled againts her as Devyn bit her lip and then took a deep breath to try and steady her emotions. "I meant for everything Zoe...all of it. I just..." Devyn said already words catching in her through as she cleared it and tried to play it off with a chuckle. "I just want you to be happy and to look after you but I caused you so much pain...so much hurt." Devyn managed to get out and left it at that as she took another deep breath and just nuzzled Zoe's shoulder.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

The rubbing felt good; it worked to sooth Zoe, as they both knew it would. That combined with taking slow, even breaths. Each breath drew in more of Devyn, her scent, her aura, just... her. It felt wonderful and just what Zoe needed right now. She still shook, the whole situation just wracking her already wracked body. everything ached, ached ever so much, and she just wanted the pain to go away.

A deep breath; Zoe felt it coming from Devyn and took another of her own, steeling her nerves as best she could. Meant for everything, all of it, just... wanted to be happy. So much hurt. Zoe shook her head, 'This isn't your fault," she said, looking up at Devyn, meeting her eyes. "You didn't do this. You didn't cause any of it. It's someone else's fault," she paused, biting her lip, averting her eyes. She knew who she wanted to blame, but she also knew that Devyn wouldn't want to hear it again.

So she shifted instead, pulling against Devyn, taking several more deep breaths. She should ask questions, say something, but talking felt like such a chore. Zoe knew what she really wanted to do. She wanted to be held, to kiss, to forget for just a few moments that she was anything but a teenage girl in love with another teenage girl, to let that be their world and just that for a few moments. She settled for pressing herself against Devyn, forgetting about any other complications and just feeling.

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn had known the rubbing would help; it always did, and probably always would. That was great for Devyn because it was easy to do and since Devyn like physical contact it was not a problem at all to do it. If Zoe was feeling anything like she did when Devyn had gotten hurt because of Zoe's power then Devyn understood the need for Zoe to just take it easy and get some rest. Her mind wondering if Zoe was still taking care of herself; like if Zoe had eaten, had something to drink, and if her hands were okay. Zoe shook head and said that it was not Devyn's fault. That Devyn didn't do it, someone else did. Words that were not getting through to Devyn because she did not believe them. She did do this. If she never pushed Zoe then the thing in the laundry room would not have happened, DL would not have found out, Zoe would not have been the Lesbian Pikachu, and SPECTRE came after Zoe because of DEVYN.

"Well that someone else was not you Zoe. It was me." Devyn said sounding a little cold as she was working on getting her emotions in check. She didn't want to be cold towards Zoe, she cared about her. Emotions were just a pain and she just really did not want to cry. Zoe shifted, pulling on her, and taking deep breaths. It was good that Zoe was calming down since Devyn didn't want her shirt to end up drenched with tears because a wet shirt would not have been all that comfortable to sleep with. Sure she could remove it but the question was if Zoe would be fine with that. Devyn could feel Zoe pressed closed against her and remained still in the embrace. Moving just a little to give Zoe's cheek a kiss, lingering until her lips felt that familiar tingly sensation.

"I'll do better at protecting you. Not one will get you tonight. No one will touch you; no one will harm you, and no bad dreams." Devyn said as a small smile started to appear on her lips as she looked at Zoe and kept at rubbing Zoe's back. "I rule the shadows and the monsters and bad things live in them right? So I'll keep them away." Devyn said with a small chuckle attempting to do a little bit of a joke to add to wanting to ease Zoe completely. Wanting to make sure that her girlfriend got a good night rest tonight for sure.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Not her either. Devyn said that, and Zoe found herself starting to believe it, just a little. She couldn't cause everything. She'd lost herself for a moment though... but could she keep punishing herself for that? She felt like she should. Like the right thing to do was to insist that she deserved everything, deserved it for hurting Ava and then Devyn. She kept hurting the people she loved. Zoe felt Devyn move to kiss her, lightly pressing lips to cheek, and she let out a soft little moan.

Better at protecting. No one touching her tonight. Zoe felt the hand on her back again, and she squirmed, moving to place her hands on either side of Devyn, looking at her. "You're the one who was wounded," she said, nodding. "I'm getting better," mostly true. In fact, her body was mostly fine. She'd show the scar to Devyn, see what the other thought. She shifted again, taking a deep breath. She met Devyn's eyes, her brown beaming into Devyn's green.

"I love you, Devyn," she said, unable to stop it from coming out. It needed to be said, even if Devyn couldn't admit it back. Zoe looked incredibly worried at having said it. She still beamed love, still wanted her girlfriend to care, still loved her, but she couldn't help but fear now that she'd let the words slip out, confirming what Devyn surely would know. she balled her hands into the sheets, dreading the reaction, knowing, just knowing that everything was about to come crashing down around her because she just couldn't keep that buried inside for a little while longer.

[Devyn Solway]

Zoe was not the cause of it all, she could not be, it was not possible. Devyn didn't really even think anything was Zoe's fault. That was not even because she cared about Zoe or that Zoe was her girlfriend. It was because of the kind of person Zoe was, she was sweet, kind, and adorable, and Devyn could not see Zoe actually hurting someone unless it was to protect herself. Zoe was not just that type of person, Zoe didn't get into fights. Devyn did that sort of thing, so Zoe had a right to put blame on Devyn. Devyn wanted her to put the blame on her, to shoulder things for Zoe that she could handle and that were not that big of a deal.

Sure Devyn did feel bad but it was mostly because Zoe was paying the price for everything when Devyn was equally at fault and Zoe didn't really have the kind of personality to be able to handle such things alone. At least that was what Devyn had figured out and assumed about her girlfriend from their time being together. A soft moan left Zoe that did catch Devyn a little off guard. She never got a moan out of Zoe from just kissing her cheek before and wondered if Zoe was okay. It had not been that long since Devyn had last kissed her. A few days yes, but were that enough time to make someone moan when you just kissed their cheek? Zoe squirmed and had a hand on Devyn's side and was looking at her, pointing out that she was the one that was wounded. "I was wounded, now I’m healing. So we are both getting better, but you are still more important." Devyn pointed out since she did not really care that she was hurt, she could deal with it.

Zoe being hurt was what she could not handle that was why she went out in the first place to hurt those who hurt Zoe. More movement and Zoe looking into Devyn's eyes with those wonderful brown eyes of hers. Then words that Devyn had expected she would hear at some point but didn't want to hear left Zoe's lips. Zoe finally full out admitting that she loved Devyn while even looking at her. Devyn had not expected to hear the words now, but at the same time it fit. This was the second time that Zoe was probably worried about the fact that Devyn could have died. It was always better to get out how you felt about a person before you lost them. She could understand that, having wanted to say bye and she loved her father one last time before she lost him. That did not help the fact that Devyn didn't really know how to respond. She did she just didn't want to say to Zoe the normal lines that tended to follow such words.

"I...I know..." Devyn just said, green eyes leaving it at that and just hoped that would be good enough for Zoe for now. She could not say it back, she wanted out. They should break up. Devyn always broke up with someone when they confessed feelings of love. That whole play love was fine but Devyn could tell that Zoe meant it full and was not playing around. Devyn just moved to give Zoe a quick kiss on her nose and moved a hand to scratch at Zoe's head. "You have been eating and drinking while I have been away right?" Devyn asked, going for a conversation change to see if that would work over better.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Healing, important, all that didn't really matter in the fact of one simple statement, a statement of truth that Zoe had uttered. She waited, her breath catching, her body tensing, waited, knowing that Devyn was working through it, waited and just knew that Zoe had ruined everything. She couldn't have that happen. not now. She shouldn't have said it now. Things were too delicate. Too tense. Devyn would break up with her and then what would Zoe have? A few friends? The knowledge that she had to repeat her last year of high school? She'd have nothing, and she knew it. She waited, waited for that response.

I know.

It wasn't a returned feeling, but it wasn't what Zoe feared. She let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding, shaking, unable to stop trembling. She should just curl up and pass out. That would be best. Clearly talking was the worst possible thing she could do right now. She swallowed, working her tongue against her dry lips. Devyn planted a kiss her nose, scratched her head, asked if she ate. Zoe nearly cried then, still trembling.

"Please don't break up with me," came bursting out her. She lifted her hands to her mouth, as if she could shove her words back in, shook her head, and started crying, silent tears running like twin waterfalls down her face. "Please--- you don't---I---we don't--" she stammered, feeling her world spin for the moment, spin and spin and spin and spin and spin and...
                                                                                .... spin

[Devyn Solway]

Even if Devyn did break up with Zoe she knew she was still going to stay friends with the girl. They had been friends first and Devyn would have always preferred a friendship over an actual relationship anyway. That was why she liked friends with benefits, but even those got risky sometimes. So she honestly just preferred to have friends and then sleep and have her fun with people that were sort of friends or those people that she just met. It was better that way and she still did care about Zoe a lot and didn't want to lose her. She still wanted Zoe in her life and knew that she could adjust to just her and Zoe being best of friends instead of girlfriends. Devyn knew for sure she could do it and live that way with Zoe, but could Zoe do it? Could Zoe handle just going back to being friends with Devyn when she loved Devyn so much, could she handle that big of a sacrifice in order to keep Devyn with her?

The ‘I know’ seemed to have been the best route to go with as Devyn heard Zoe let out a breath. That was good right, it was not tears, but Zoe was still shaking, trembling while still being so close to Devyn so she could not only see it but feel it. The subject change was there, and seemed to have failed completely with Zoe. Soon as the question was asked Zoe started to cry and the trembles didn’t go away. Don't break up with her, Zoe saying what Devyn was thinking but had been trying to avoid saying for Zoe's sake. Yet Zoe brought it up instead of going for that perfect subject change that Devyn had given Zoe. Why didn't she go for the subject change? Why did she have to cry and make Devyn feel worse which lead to her feeling a little dejected from the situation? When she felt dejected she was less caring about others feelings and that was a big problem in this case.

"Shhh Zoe, just lay down." Devyn still in a soft tone, still having feelings that she cared about Zoe. Moving so she could shift to try and push Zoe in a way to get her girlfriend to lie down on the bed. She of course would lay down with Zoe still; she was not going to kick Zoe out of her bed. At least she was trying to avoid feeling like she would have to. Just please lay down and go for the subject change. Devyn thought to herself as she tired yet again to go for another subject change for Zoe to hopefully take. "How is your wolf and Pikachu doing?" Devyn asked the first random thing that came to her mind that hopefully would work for distracting Zoe.

[Zoe Wallerstein-Smythe]

Just lay down; that didn't sound like an answer, didn't sound like a promise one way or the other. It also didn't sound like they were breaking up. It didn't sooth Zoe's frazzled, fraying nerves though. She found herself obeying, unable to resist any further. Could she ever resist Devyn, really? Probably not. She didn't want to think about it; didn't really want to think about anything. Lay down; laying down felt good; Zoe stretched out besides Devyn, relaxing, putting her head against the pillow.

She didn't stop trembling.

How are the stuffed toys doing? Zoe sniffed, wiping at her eyes with the heel of her hand. "They're fine," she said, unable to keep her voice from warbling. This was so drastically unfair. Saying I love you to someone shouldn't make you feel like this, like something inside was being shredded. Zoe should've never said anything. Nothing would've been better than this. Just about anything would've been better than this. Zoe hiccuped again, curling, trembling, unable to think. At least she could breathe: breathe in, breathe out, practically tasting Devyn with each and every inhale.

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn was pleased to see that Zoe was going with what Devyn had told her to do, to lay down. That was good. Lying down could get Zoe to calm down, get some rest, and to stop thinking so much. It was that over thinking that seemed to be a lot of people’s downfalls in a relationship. Well more so overthinking things in a way that typically involved being paranoid over what the other was doing. They were in an open relationship and Zoe pretty much knew that Devyn was still having her fun with other people so that at least took that drama out. It did not however get rid of the drama that was coming from Zoe being in love with Devyn. She could not say that she loved Zoe, but she could not say that she didn't love Zoe. It was just complicated and she at least wanted a break, not to break up but a break.

She could not ask for that now however, Zoe was too unstable and seemed so scared about just the thought of Devyn no longer being her girlfriend. Would it be that bad? They would still be friends; Devyn would still be there for her. Would it not be easier on Zoe to have what she wanted from Devyn and not worry about the fact that they could never go all the way. The kissing and such would stop, but they could still hang out, Zoe sleep in her arms, and even hand holding was fine among friends. Zoe was stretching out, lying down next to Devyn and Devyn did the same, thankful that she was on the side opposite of her stiches. Zoe still trembled and Devyn just kept stroking her girlfriends back and hoping that it would be enough and to calm Zoe down. She wondered if kissing would work, but then was worried that might confuse Zoe after having said that she loved Devyn. So she would wait a little before she would kiss Zoe at least.

"Good. Now is the owner of said stuff animals taking care of herself?" Devyn asked, still asking the same question as before about if Zoe was taking care of herself, just saying it in a different way. She kept stroking Zoe's back, looking at her current girlfriend and just wanted her to settle enough. Moods had to be kept mellow, relaxed. That would help for a good night sleep and as well keep Devyn from feeling to detached from everything.