"What do you Mean We're 'on Duty'?"

[JJ Johnson]

JJ grimaced, vowing revenge, and handed over the twenty dollar bill. It was crinkled and had clearly spent an undo amount of time in someone's pants. It seemed to naturally want to form a ball on the pool table, and it practically rolled into a puddle of spilled beer some distance away. Not that there weren't a few puddles of alcohol scattered here and there, quite a few of which JJ had put there himself. He swayed a little and leaned against his pool cue. He looked ready and capable of taking the cue and using it more for a weapon than its intended use. He looked across the table at the decidedly more sober guy holding the cue across from him.

"Double or nothing," said JJ. The guy looked dubious, probably not thinking that JJ had the money, or that forty dollars might be just enough to get this obviously reckless guy to decide to use that pool cue in a way its makers never rightly considered. JJ elected to dig into his other pocket. A few more crinkled bills spilled out, and he had to duck down to the floor, scrambling for a bit. He soon clutched another twenty, crinkling it further in his hand as he pulled it up, showing it. "I got the cash," he said. He was already trying to work himself up too. Greater stakes meant a greater chance of his ability kicking in, and nothing wore away the edges of a buzz like a good adrenal spike.

Before the other guy could say something else, someone called across the bar to JJ. "Hey, Johnson!" The bulky man spat and turned, his eyes narrowing. The bartender was standing there, nodding across the bar. A decidedly smaller guy sat nearby, and, sadly, JJ recognized the twerp: his partner, who likely wouldn't have come in this place without a good reason. JJ sighed, turning away, really wanting to just get on with the game...

[Nathaniel Harver]

He was sitting at his desk in the precinct typing up the reports that JJ hadn't done in probably a week. Rubbing his eyes he looked at the clock wondering why he was always stuck doing the paper work. Oh, right because he was terrified of the Hulk. He was twenty-six years old and still treated like some kind of high school nerd. To think he was a wild child in school, and now nothing more than a desk jockey most times.

The phone started ringing bringing out a groan from Nate. "Hellllo?" He sat up straight then looked over at the commander's office. "Yes, sir. Again, sir? Yes...sir." There was a call that needed responding to and since he was still sitting at his desk like an idiot he got to respond to it. The problem was he had to go find, and fetch his partner.

First, he tried the thick skulled, meat cake's place of shagging, otherwise known as his apartment. Nothing. Meanwhile he'd tried calling the adult delinquent, but kept getting voice mail. The adrenaline junky was probably ignoring him on purpose. His last guess was the bar if he didn't find his perverted partner there, then he was going to give up. Luckily the call was nothing serious just checking in on some vandalism.

He walked up to the bartender adjusting his thick glasses and flipping up his badge. Not that it was an investigation or something but it tended to get things moving. "Looking for a thick necked, overly aggressive drunkard with a flat Mohawk thing on his head." The bartender nodded then called out. "He's not gonna be happy."

[JJ Johnson]

JJ was still ignoring his "partner," focusing his attentions upon the game, or at least attempting to. Unfortunately, the guy who'd taken his money was pointing at the bar, mentioning that someone wanted him over here. There were comments mentioned about a nursemaid or a possible "partner" in a less official sense. The latter didn't bother JJ in the slightest; he'd fuck anything hot enough, male or female at least, not those freaks with both parts or who liked to pretend they were something they weren't. Fuck them, and not in the literal sense. No, it was the nursemaid thing that made JJ grunt, grunt, and lash out with a fist, catching the guy in the face.

While he was reeling, JJ turned. He stomped back to the bar as though he hadn't just caused a guy to clutch his nose while blood leaked out of his fingers. He held up a hand gesturing for the bartender to ready a drink and then turned to look at his partner. There he was, Officer Harver. "What the hell you doing in this shithole?" asked JJ, turning to spit. "I thought you were more of a wine guy," the beer arrived, and JJ took it, slapping money onto the counter while he did. He took a pull, moving to take a seat at the bar, obviously not caring about what his partner had actually come there to do or say.

[Nathaniel Harver]

Sighing he took off his glasses and cleaned them pretty much used to this routine. JJ would come over in his due time or he'd have to go over though he hated the idea of going deeper into the bar. He ignored the various comments none of which were all that original. Course what could he expect from such a lovely place such as this? He could smell the mold, and BO was like a pungent perfume most of the people in there exuded in spades.

"Punching. Of course." Nate rolled his eyes sliding his glasses back in place feeling a little bad for the guy. But surely the scum in this bar knew what to expect from his violent partner by now. He stepped a little closer but hopefully not within arms length. "Beautiful words just flow out of you like poetry don't they?"

Why did he have to be paired with this guy? Of all the people on the force why? Because he was basically the only nitwit who would put up with all of his crap. Because frankly most of the time Nate just did not care. "Since I was stuck doing paperwork." Pause to see if he got the hint though, Nate doubted he would. "Commander decided to pick us for a call. Some sort of vandalism." By now some other poor set of officers were probably sent to check out the area for any real damage. But if the commander told him go then off he went.

[JJ Johnson]

"You bet your ass they do," said JJ, missing the sarcasm that just oozed forth from his partner. He grinned and took another long pull from the drink. This was why he got all the bitches, both male and female: they just fell for his beautiful poetic words and his awesome machismo... well, that or they realized that his dick was fucking huge, and he could use it like a fucking porn star.

Stuck doing paperwork? That actually had JJ looking over, mostly as he tried to remember what paperwork they had to do. Oh, he didn't give two shits about it, that was for damn sure. That's what Harver was actually good for, though JJ wouldn't have minded bending that ass over and going to town on it, that was for damn sure. The chief wanted the two of them to go check something? Vandalism? JJ chortled, taking another pull from his beer.

"The hell is he calling on us for?" he asked, looking over at Harver and giving him the stink-eye. "You do something to piss him off?" Because obviously Harver was the one who would piss the boss off. "You don't suppose this got something to do with that SPECTRE shit? You know that school's training death squads," JJ had leaned in a little, whispering, or at least attempting to whisper, the words in Harver's general direction. JJ clearly was trying to distract his partner, figuring that his attempts here were actually... smooth.

[Nathaniel Harver]

Again with the eye rolling though if he kept that up his eyes were going to get a pulled muscle. Seriously if this guy had enough ego for six regular guys. If Nate had an ounce of his barbaric coworker's ego he wouldn't be going home every night alone. But then again he didn't want to sleep with every Tom, Rick, and Jerry and get some sort of STD.

Wait, did the arrogant ass even know what the word vandalism meant? Maybe he should've said something like 'Some kids spray painted a wall' or 'Somebody's car got jacked up'. Laughing, why was he laughing? Laughing and drinking more. Fabulous.

"Because we work for him." Nate droned wishing that he'd just gone home instead of trying to catch them up on paperwork. But he didn't want to get a chewing out again just because his partner didn't know how to type more than six words in a minute. "Oh, yes, blame me. It's aaaalll my fault." Per usual. The SPECTRE crap again. Nate wanted to hit his head against a wall.

"No, it doesn't. I said van-da-lism. Probably just some teenagers being stupid." Could he be stupider? Is that possible? Surely not. "The school is training death squads." Oh, look! It was possible. "Come on let's just go drive by the site, and get it over with. I can drive you back to your place on the way back."

[JJ Johnson]

"Fuck that, we work for the police department, not that asshat,' said JJ, taking another pull of the beer. Okay, so even he technically understood how chains of command worked. He'd never disrespect the chief to his face. Heck, he normally wouldn't disrespect the chief at all. He was angry and if it was one thing that JJ was good at (besides talking about his penis and punching things) it was shifting his anger onto targets that did absolutely nothing to deserve it.

Like Harver, for example.

"Damn straight; it's always your fault," said JJ, nodding, glad that they'd reached an agreement there (since clearly the part of his brain responsible for picking up sarcasm was out at the shop). Vandalism could so have been SPECTRE's fault. Maybe they wrote "Mutants suck" on the walls or something. But JJ didn't actually vocalize those suspicions. Because while he might not be great at picking up sarcasm, he was almost masterclas at picking up when someone talked down to him. Speaking slowly and that shit was enough to get JJ glaring, ready to challenge his partner and ask if Harver was implying that he was stupid (you know, the truth).

"Or, we could go to your place," said JJ, grinning lasciviously. He nodded to the bartender and moved the bottle toward the guy, indicating that he could throw it away. This place definitely needed some hot ass bartenders, but that would require the owner having good taste. "Why the fuck do we even need to check this shit? we ain't the goddamn janitor service!" and no, he wasn't moving yet. Moving would mean that he wanted to do this, or that he was going to, and he didn't feel like it, at least not yet.

Because JJ was going to do the mature thing: He was gonna sit there and pout.

[Nathaniel Harver]

Blinking he didn't even bother to respond to that one because he was pretty sure it would just make the poet even more angry. Besides contradicting JJ was never really a good idea, unless you liked kissing his knuckles as they rammed themselves down your throat. Personally, Nate had no desire to kiss any part of JJ's body especially his knuckles.

"Yep, my fault." He checked his phone to see if maybe he'd gotten lucky and the commander had called to tell them to forget it. No such luck. That man just loved to make his life miserable. Course so did his coworker.

Nate just stared at the inebriated idiot for a moment before answering. "Sure, Bunny misses you." In truth his beautiful, protective dog wanted to make JJ her dinner. Besides there was no way he was letting whatever disease growing in his partner's pants come near him.

He pinched the bridge of his nose shutting his eyes tightly. And yet another migraine brought on by Johnson the Lord of Douche's! "It's part of our job, Officer Johnson." Maybe he should just give up phone the commander and tell him he couldn't find JJ and just go home. That sounded like the easiest and the more painless route to take.

[JJ Johnson]

"Aw, man, you haven't put that fuckin' dog down yet?" asked JJ, groaning. He hated most of Harver's pets, but he swore that one had it out for him. He didn't know which was worse: Bunny attacking him or the other one attempting to mount him every time he got close. If JJ didn't know better, he would've sworn that Harver spent some time training the damn things. Sure, JJ didn't have a clue how that would actually work, but he bet that Harver knew. Nerds like him knew shit like that.

Part of their job. JJ sighed, slapping the counter. "Man, our job is protectin' people an' upholdin' the goddamn law! It ain't goin' round and cleaning up shit like fucking janitors." He mumbled darkly and slid off the stool, still not wanting to go. His reluctance showed in the way he more or less just stood there, towering over the much smaller Harver, glaring down at the little guy as if he'd like nothing so much as to just shoo him away like an annoying, buzzing insect.

"You'd better fucking drive,' drawled JJ, snorting and moving to go. As he did, another familiar face approached them: one who had napkins shoved up his nose, blood soaked ones. JJ smirked and raised his brows, obviously thinking this was going to be fun. Maybe they'd have a little tussle before they had to go do shit work. Well, that was assuming that Harver didn't go and fuck it up.

[Nathaniel Harver]

He loved that most of his pets hated the other man, or loved him just a little bit too much. Nate loved his dogs before they ever met JJ but after they first met? Oh, Bunny got so many goodies after she attacked his partner for the first time. At least it kept the guy from trying to do horrible things to him. The guy was worse that a rambunctious rabbits.

"We're not going to go clean it. We're going to make sure the vandals have left, and that the area is safe." Seriously did he even know what his job entailed? How did he get hired? The guy was a total loose cannon. Nate looked up at his partner dull boredom his only response. If he got the willies every time some guy taller than he was tried to scare him with that height he'd never made it through high school. "Is your face stuck again?"

Nate dangled his keys in front of him then turned to leave glad that he was at least going to ride along. He made it to the door then glanced over his shoulder to tell him to keep his hands off of the radio. Shoulders sagging he groaned thunking his head against the door. "No, why do they always come back for more. Why?"

[JJ Johnson]

JJ just grunted as Harver explained their job to him. He supposed that made more sense, considering everything. They didn't exactly have cleaning supplies in their cars and all... at least they hadn't last time JJ checked. He wouldn't have been surprised to find that Harver had stashed something away. Guy seemed like the type to clean everything. Probably kept one of those little hankies around to wipe at those nerdy glasses and shit too.

The dangling keys did distract JJ; shiny objects that jiggled usually did (thus proving what everyone already suspected: that JJ had more in common with an infant than an actual grown human male). JJ would've stared at them, grunted, and just gone along with Harver, if there hadn't been a potential fight brewing. The bloodied nose guy was glaring, and JJ could already feel the adrenaline starting to pump into his veins. Literally the only thing better than a good fight was a good fuck, and maybe he'd get lucky and get both. Sure, Harver hadn't given up yet, but that certainly never stopped JJ from trying.

The bloodied nose guy, however, looked at the partner, frowning. See, unlike JJ, this was one of those rare barflies that could take a few moments and actually think, and he now saw a guy in a suit looking not worried, but sad and put about the whole thing, mumbling about going back for more. "What do you mean, going back for more?" he asked, now looking a little nervously at JJ.

"He don't mean shit!" said JJ, still spoiling for a fight and hoping that his partner didn't run that too. "He's just a little pussy; I pound that shit every night. So why don't you just step and get your bit now, unless you'd rather just bent over. I'll make it quick." JJ patted at his crotch, yet again proving his mastery of human interactions.

[Nathaniel Harver]

Yes, Nate kept a few cleaning supplies in his car, but nothing that would take care of vandalism. More to the like of cleaning food stains, glass cleaner, and carpet cleaner for when his frequently intoxicated partner vomited in his car. He wasn't anally clean or anything but he tended to keep things relatively tidy. Just made things easier to find, easier to use, and meant less effort to clean his house. Doesn't take much energy to keep a house clean rather than let it get depressingly filthy then try and clean it.

Seriously his brain dead partner was like chimpanzee on drugs when it came to shiny objects. He felt his shoulders sag yet again overwhelmed by the man's ability to prove he was quite literally too stupid to live. How had he not kicked the bucket by now? Oh, wait he was 'superman'. Or was too thick headed to just roll over and die. Lowering the keys he turned to the door hoping the sound of the jiggling keys might draw the troll like a fly to honey.

So close, so very close to getting their job over with so he could go home. But noooo another testosterone drunk idiot had to come out of the woodwork. He looked up at the man spoke to him hoping he might be able to talk some sense into the bleeder. Instead the Hulk started amping up again. "I pound that shit every night." Nate felt his blood instantly alight with fury making his head swim. The crotch pat reminded him of something a horny baboon might do, and he shook his head the fury flipping off like a switch. What was the point of getting angry at a man who could barely form coherent sentences? "Officer Johnson! We got a call. Remember?" Lifting the keys again he thought he might get lucky a second time.

[JJ Johnson]

The jangling got the attention of both Neanderthals. JJ and his "dance partner" turned to look, their eyes landing on the keys that moved. Soon they were both looking at Harver as he spoke. No sooner had the words come out of his mouth than JJ was groaning and the guy's eyes were widening. "He's a cop? To hell with that!" came out of JJ's targeted mark. JJ growled and tried to posture, but the already bloodied guy wasn't going to risk bodily harm and a night in jail. Just wasn't worth it. Especially not given what cops did to people that ended up in jail from harming cops.

JJ stood there, glowering and growling as he watched the man walk away. He turned to Harver, his eyes narrowing. "This had better get me some action," he growled, before roughly brushing against Harver, practically body-checking the smaller man. "Since you just wrecked mine." JJ continued mumbling and talking under his breath as he headed for the door. People looked, but nobody bothered to rise out of their seats. A few looked over at Harver too, the most common look being either shock, sympathy, or some combination of the two.

[Nathaniel Harver]

He was starting to think he had magical keys. If only he could get men's attention this easily when he actually wanted their attention. Ah, the title worked again! Some idiots went ahead and picked a fight anyway. Looked like the bleeder was smarter than Nate gave him credit. Maybe he'd get home before dawn tonight after all.

The look he received for ruining his testosterone ridden, intoxicated partner's fun was something he wished he could frame. For all the crap that man ladled onto his life the few times he could ruin JJ's fun made it all so sweet. "Action with your hand maybe." He mumbled taking the gruff push off without so much of a flicker of annoyance. Bodily harm was something he was used to when working with the Hulk.

Nathaniel followed him out to the car ignoring the looks that he got nearly everywhere he went when the gorilla was with him. Once outside he took in a deep breath of fresh air after that stagnant hell hole. "This shouldn't take long you can go play after we do our job." He'd drop him off at any drunken watering hole he wanted just so long as he didn't demand going home with Nate.

[JJ Johnson]

JJ didn't hear Nate's comment, which was probably for the best. In his current mood he'd probably growl at his partner. He'd tried fighting Nate back when they'd first been assigned to one another, figuring that he could just rough the little guy up and have his way after. Nate had responded with his power; JJ had ended up waking up in the hospital. So he listened to the little guy from now on, at least most of the time, even if he growled and glowered. They both knew who was actually top dog there, and don't think that it chafed JJ every time he thought about it.

They made it to the car, JJ climbing into the passenger's seat like the petulant child he so clearly was. He got buckled and rummaged around in the glove box till he found a badge. He'd already had his gun on him, as he nearly always did, but he knew he'd need this too. He kept a spare in there just for stuff like this. thinking of the gun had JJ recheck it, pulling it out and rearranging it. Yeah, he'd been aware that Nate had tried to sooth him before they got to the car. He'd just sort of grunted and fumed.

"Don't know why the hell we gotta go out an' do this shit when it's our fuckin' time off,' growled JJ. He snapped the gun into place and then returned it to his holster, grunting in frustration. "Well, what are you waiting for? Get the damn car moving already!" JJ reached a hand out the window and slapped at the side of the vehicle, more than ready for them to hit the road.