The Third Wheel Theory

[Dirty Laundry]

BLOG ENTRY #1
The Third Wheel Theory

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce myself. I am the eyes and the ears of Bellefonte Academy. I am no one and everyone all at one. I see all, I know all. Do you want to know who I am? Too bad, because my real identity is hidden. Not you, not anyone will know who I am. You can try but you will not succeed. But that is not important. What's important is what I do.

I am Dirty Laundry, Bellefonte's #1 gossip blogger.
Airing out the Dirty Laundry one student at a time.

I'm sure all of you have heard about the third wheel. It's the third person who is simply put, only in the way of two people. And in this case it's none other than ELLEN BANKS herself. Has the Queen Bee #1 finally fallen and broken her wings? Oh dear. My dear students, I recently saw something quite interesting happening in the courtyard of the school, ERIKA BELLEFONTE was talking to some cute piece of meat (No point in lying about it, ladies, we all know he's fine), FRANCOIS LAFFONT or FRANCK as he seems to be fond of calling himself. They were getting all kinds of cozy as ELLEN BANKS stepped up her game and decided to interfere.

Now, now, we all know about the DOUBLE E duo that seems to think they rule the school, but can there be something more than friendship on ELLEN's front? It makes me wonder, since somehow, ELLEN is always in the picture whenever our darling Bellefonte-Princess bashes her eyelashes at another victim.

I don't know about you guys, but to me it seems like our ice queen has fallen and someone might just have melted her ice cold heart. Well, that or she climbed her way up from hell and got her panties tied up in a bunch. It doesn't really matter in the end.

To me it seems like our poor ICE QUEEN has once again taken up the role as the third wheel and if you ask me, it's kind of pathetic. Just fess up already, woman. No one likes a pretender.

I can't wait to find out more about this three-way drama between LONELY BOY, ICE QUEEN and BELLEFONTE-PRINCESS. Can you?

You know you love me,
Dirty Laundry

[Ellen Banks]

Dear "Dirty Laundry" (Clever name)

Ha. Cute.

I'm sure we were all so very amused by your conspiracy theory and I certainly hope you had your fun writing it. Because the fun stops here. I don't know who you THINK you are spreading these awful nasty rumors about Me and Ericka (Ice Queen? Pathetic? Oh dear....) but as you clearly go to the school and probably female you know who I am, so you know that I'm not someone you should make mad...

Now, I'll give you one chance to come forward and apologies if you do so then that'll be the end of it. If you don't then I will personally go through the entire population of the school until I find out where you are. (This, you know I can do, thanks to certain skills)

And once I find out who you are (and I will) Then everything that follows will be your own fault.

Don't throw rocks at a girl with a shot-gun.

You have 24 hours to take this down.

Much Love
Ellen Banks XXX

[Erika Conner (Bellefonte)]

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? DUDE, seriously, who the hell do you think you are? I MEAN COME ON, this is so LAME. This is what we did when we were thirteen years old and didn't have any other purpose than spreading childish rumors about people, LAWD. PLX, whoeverthefuckyouare, stop trying to be someone you're not.

Clearly, you're just jealous, and quite frankly, I don't blame you because Ellen is AWESOME. And you have no right to say such things about her. Not you, not anyone, so please go back to middle school and stay there, bitch.

We don't need you, and we sure as hell don't want you.

TATA,
Erika

[Dirty Laundry]

@ICE QUEEN,
First of all, let me just point out that my gender, whether it being male or female does not matter. It's an invalid threat that clearly, since I have yet to take this down, does not work. Neither does your assumptation about me being a student. (Please take your hollow, empty and shallow threats somewhere else.)

Second of all, you're clearly more ignorant to the world around you than what I thought. But hey, that only provides me with more tasty and hilariously entertaining gossip, so please, by all means, go on a witch hunt for me. Don't forget to tell me how it goes!

And yes, I'm well aware of your abilities, Hip Knox. We all are, since you so obviously spread it around like an STD goes from hooker to hooker. Oh, wait, you do that with your vagina too, what a coinsidence.

Don't bring a toy gun to a match of chess, love. You cannot win this, but I'd love to see you try.

@BELLEFONTE-PRINCESS,
Shut up and go make me a sandwich. We all know you're a good for nothing-dumbass who hides behind ICE QUEEN's back. You're nothing. Absolutely nothing, and deep down in that petty little heart of yours, you know that too.

You will be forgotten. You will only live on as a vast memory of a pretty, high school girl who couldn't even stand up for herself and make her own choices without her overprotective Maiden in a shining armor protecting her.

Grow a spine, please.

You know you love me,
Dirty Laundry

[Ellen Banks]

Sleep with the lights on.

[Dirty Laundry]

@ICE QUEEN
No worries, darling. I happen to love the dark, that's when all the monsters come out and the skeletons jump out of the closet.

You know you love me,
Dirty Laundry

[Ellen Banks]

"Don't invite the devil into your house. He might like it there."

Run.

[Dirty Laundry]

@ICE QUEEN

''Don't underestimate the allure of darkness, even the purest of hearts are attracted to it.''

I do not fear the Devil. And we all know that if He could, he'd take a completely different form than you. You're no match, pussy cat. And deep down inside, you know it's true. After all... A few words from me and you're already shaking in anger, oh my, who knew that the ICE QUEEN would be so easy to infuriate?

I have to admit, I'm a little disappointed. But, oh well. Guess even the self-claimed Great Ones fall short in times like these.

You know you love me,
Dirty Laundry

[Ellen Banks]

Oh no. You're mistaken. I'm not angry, you'll know when I'm angry. I'm just offering you advice, because I like you. You have bravado and that's an admirable quality but here's the problem: Anyone can say anything when they hide beside a computer screen and that's the beautiful allure of anonymity and I'm sure you feel invincible right now, but if you think that you and your little keyboard can make me stop and stare that you are really delusional.

I find it ironic that you tell Ericka to grow a spine yet I wonder if you would be quite as brave if you said all this to my face?

Your sense of security is as false as your words and sooner rather then later you'll have to answer for your words.

I wonder who you are? maybe a scorned former student? An angry ex-girlfriend.of a boy I stole...no...if you were then your actions would be based on emotion. You would try for a physical confrontation...you're much more cerebral for that aren't you? You want to know my guess? In real life, you're nothing. Not a misfit not popular. invisible to all and you think that trying to take me down will provide you with a sense of self worth? I think that's just sad, that you can't stand up to either Ericka or me in real life but you can here, take away that little machine and what are you: Nothing.

So here's some advice; back away. You can't win this game, you're not the first person to try upset the natural order and you won't be the last. You will be found.

But I'm not a moron. I'm sure you'll come back in a few moment with a so very witty reply which really is the only quiver in your bow.Which is fine. get it all out of your system, no doubt this is the closest to actually conversing with someone you come to all week.

You don't fear the devil. but you should. and will.

[Dirty Laundry]

@ICE QUEEN
Here's the funny yet hypocritical thing about what you just said...

You are mad, you are angry and you are hurt. How do I know? Simple. You retorted to threats and insults, claiming that you would hunt me down and that you would find out who I am. You told me to sleep with the lights on and told me to run. All signs of a infuriated teenage-girl. Don't try to hide it love, we all know it's there, so why pretend? If you didn't care, you wouldn't have bothered replying. You wouldn't have wasted your time spewing out threats and what not. You'd simply walk away. Thus, clearly, I've hit a nerve. You do care, whether you'd like to admit it or not.

And you're quite wrong. I never once claimed I had a spin or that I in fact was scared. I only speak the truth. It may be through an anonymous face, but it doesn't change the fact. I saw what I saw and based on your reaction, I was right as well.

I am whatever you choose to believe I am, love. I am nothing and everything all at once, and if I had been nothing, as you so nicely put it, you wouldn't have bothered. But you did. Which only proves that I and my words do matter. They make an impact and they make a difference. Therefore, I am something. Whether or not that something is good or bad, it does not matter.

I might be found, I might not be. Who knows? The thing is, love; It doesn't matter. I am out there, somewhere and even if you don't like to admit it, I'll be at the back of your mind, like a headache that won't go away. You have done nothing but proving how much you actually care from your very first reply. All you do is feed me more and more information by each sentence you type out. So, I am grateful for all the information you so willingly give me.

As you can see ladies and gentlemen, the ICE QUEEN does in fact have a heart. She cares. She has insecurities, feelings and well, is quite easy to anger as you so clearly can see. She is not as scary as many of you seem to think. She is not the Devil. She's simply a teenage-girl who hides her insecurities behind a wall of scheming, mean-girl attitude. She is a human being, after all. With both weaknesses and strenghts, just like every other person out there.

She is not something to fear; She's simply an inconvience that everyone needs to get over. I repeat; She is only human.

I think I won this round, ICE QUEEN. I'll see you next match.

You know you love me,
Dirty Laundry.