Force of Dork (Kirk)

[Kirk Morrowik]

We did

I think it floated off or something

I can't remember

HO

No

Stay out you filthy casual

YOU NEVER SAID YOU WEREN'T

*sassily poker faces*

*I'm trolling you*

My delicate eardrums!!

Why so serious though?

I've heard it works well

Sure

Long as it's edible and not particularly healthy

I'll be fine

Cool it Mom

Riley she fucking loves you, and you love her

Of course this is going to be eating away at your heart

ITS BEEN 3 YEARS

3

Since you two started dating. You guys are all serious now. Hell, you're LIVING together

Of course this is going to come up! And of course it's going to be on Zoe's mind!

Try harder

I know you do. So do it

Let's hope with how long you're floundering

Well no shit

Power rangers are awesome

I'll hold you to that

[Riley Forrester]

Oh right

WHO YOU CALLING A HO

Oh well sooooorrrrrryyyyyy

Sorry I'm too casual for your super secret club

STOP TWISTING MY WORDS

*sassily pokes your face*

Oh toughen up baby

Because Joker we gotta be

Good

I'll make ample use of it

On it captain

You sure? We really like snuggling

What? I'm hip

...........

Did I ever mention I hate it when you make a damn good point?

Dammit Kirk I know

Believe me I know

I am trying!

Kirk I don't think it's that simple

This is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with

It's a pretty big deal

So I want to make it absolutely perfect

I am not a fish!

Agreed

Awesome and very punny

[Kirk Morrowik]

YOU

YOU HO

GO TAKE CARE OF THE LAWN WITH THE RAKE

You should be

Tainting our club like that

It's not a secret

Just Riley-free

*sassily takes it like a boss ass bitch*

But I'll lose my silky smooth skin!

NEVER

Go for it

You better be on the ball with new oxiclean detergent!

I think I'll survive seeing my best friend snuggling with her girlfriend

And THAT right there proves you're an old-timer

Yes

Which is why I love doing it so much

Why not?

Look, how do you want to make it special?

Do you have ideas already?

It is, and you guys have been waiting for it long enough

Just the fact you're proposing itself is perfect enough

But whatever enough talking in circles

I'm getting dizzy

You sir are a codfish

That's the best part

[Riley Forrester]

I AINT DOING SHIT

GO TAKE CARE OF YOUR GARDEN ON YOUR OWN

*rolls around the entire club*

I hope I infect you and make you all Riley's

Which is a slightly terrifying idea

Pffffffft

"Silky smooth"

DO I HAVE TO GIVE YOU THOSE SCARS AGAIN

HI BILLY MAYS HERE

Ok but I warned you

I am not some nasty ass old woman!

I'll have you know I am current hot-years-old like every book or movie protagonist is stuck at

You ass

I bet you do

Because there's layer upon layers of complexity

I'm stuck between a few ideas.

Part of me wants to take her out somewhere really fantastic that would have a ton of amazing photography shots and everything

Then another part of me wants to redo our first date and just have a different ending

Those are the main two and I have no idea which to pick!

Maybe, but we can wait just a tiny bit longer

Gaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh Kiiiiirkkk

Good

Hope you angrily trip down the stairs

I know it's you Peter

It really is

[Kirk Morrowik]

OH YOU SO DOING SHIT

FINE I WILL

IT WILL BE A HELLUVA LOT MORE BITCHIN THEN YOURS

*sassily looks disgusted*

Oh god

It is terrifying

Can you imagine multiple you's?

SHUT UP IM PROUD OF MY SOFT SKIN

YOU WANNA KNOW HOW I GOT THESE SCARS??

What a brave soul

Too amazing for this world

*puts on armor*

My body is ready

You're right

You're a CRUSTY ass old woman

That is actually very true

I want to read a book about some sort of super grandma

Give it a bit of plot twist

Oh I do

No betting needed

And it's illegal to gamble Riley

Both sound great. You know Zoe better than me. Which would she like the most?

Staaaaaallllllllliiiiiiiinnnnnnggggggg

Guuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh Rrrrrrriiilllleeeesssss

Just for that I'm going to angrily trip UP the stairs

No you don't

Can't prove anything

[Riley Forrester]

MAKE ME

BRING IT ON

MINE IS DEFINITELY BETTER THAN YOURS

It is

Oh Jesus

*shudders*

The only think worse would be multiple you'a

SISSSSSSYYYYYYYYY

Besides you got no soft skin

I ALREADY KNOW

I WAS THE ONE WHO GAVE YOU THEM

Purest of knights

Oh yeeeeaaaahhhh

That's how the fine print went

"Extra" protection

You are not prepared for the adorableness

HEY

ILL BEAT YOU WITH MY CANE

It is

Now THAT I would read in a heartbeat

Shush I do what I want

That's just it, I'm not entirely sure....

Part of me really really wants to do the away trip but I'm afraid that might be showing off my money or something?

I don't want to make Zoe uncomfortable or anything

SHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'd like to see you try

IVE GOT PHOTO EVIDENCE

I CAN PROVE EVERYTHING

[Kirk Morrowik]

*throws down shovel*

PUT EM UP

IMA GIVE YOU THE OL ONE-TWO

BITCH YOU WISH

See?

Pure horror movie gold

Probably, If I'm being honest

At least your clones could talk

Mine would just stand around awkwardly

IM A SISSY AND IM PROUD

I so do

I just don't know where it is

Awww you spoiled the story

Great going!

Just the greatest

Oh wow you're right

I sort of remember now

Should I get the heavier armor?

I am

COME AT ME OLD GEEZER

Same

I would want a comic book version

You gonna get your ass in jail

Should I tell Zoe about your gambling problem?

Riley

Need I remind you it's been 3 YEARS???

Zoe already knows about the money and everything

Don't let that cripple you

You're not showing off, you're just trying to make things amazing for your wife

I doubt Zoe would be uncomfortable with you around.

*angrily trips up the stair*

NO YOU CANT

*runs*

[Riley Forrester]

U WOT M8

ILL BASH YE FUKIN HEAD IN I SWER ON ME MUM

BITCH I DONT NEED NO WISH WHEN I ALREADY GOT IT

Oh no

Want if there was clones of BOTH of us?

And you've got your fancy way of talking

Don't you play dumb

YEAH YOU ARE

Uh huh

Suuuuuuuuuure

Good

I hope I crushed all your hopes and dreams

The absolute best

Ikr?

Yes

If you are to survive this you must

That's what they all say

They're never prepared

*smacks with cane*

That would be badass

I'll get Val to bust me out

NO

No

I know

Gaaaahhh

Stop using logic against me!

I would hope she wouldn't

*slowly takes off sunglasses*

Well I'll be damned

COWARD!

[Kirk Morrowik]

YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO BREAK MY HEAD

ITS TOO STRONG

YEAH YEAH

.......

Dear god Riley

Never put that mental image in my head again

*2spooky4me*

Oh yeah

But it's what I do best!

I CAN DREAM DAMMIT

You monster

I hope they give you splinters

*puts on heavy heavy armor*

Good enough?

I am prepared

My powers of retention aren't as wet as a warthog's backside

*cane breaks from the sheer awesome sassiness*

Oh course it would

All things comic book version are badass

CHEATER

*so calls Zoe*

I TOLD YOU

I TOLD YOU LOGIC WOULD BITE YOU IN THE ASS

Riley

Seriously?

3
DAMN
YEARS

*lying in a crumpled heap at top of stair*

Yeah

That's what I thought.

ITS NOT COWARDICE ITS CALLED SAVING MY ASS

[Riley Forrester]

WANNA BET???

HA!

*shoves image into head*

Spooky scary skeletons

"Oh yeah"

How the hell could you forget your power?

NO YOU CANT

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Got me boots on

So no splinters for me

No

It must be stronger

Like Ox

YOU ARE NOT PREPARED

Oh god

The Disney

My one weakness!

*sassily unfazed*

You so sure?

ITS CALLED USING WHAT ADVANTAGES YOU HAVE TO HELP YOURSELF

*so cuts the connection*

DAMMIT

DAMMIT YOU DID

I KNOW I KNOW

Doesn't mean I don't get nervous still

*slow clap*

YEAH HUH SURE WHATEVER

[Kirk Morrowik]

YOURE NOT DRAGGING ME INTO YOUR GAMBLING ADDICTION

*images passes through and out the other side*

*shivers sent down spine*

SOMETIMES I FORGET THINGS OK

*dumps splinters into boots*

*straps Ox to chest over armor*

Better?

I AM SO PREPARED

*threateningly sings Mary Poppins*

JUST A SPOON FULL OF SUGAR
MAKES THE MEDICINE GO DOWN!
THE MEDICINE GO DOWN!
THE MEDICINE
GO
DOWN!

Yes

Very sure

UH HUH YEAH

OF COURSE IT IS

*so goes to see Zoe*

HA!

BUTT PROTECTION CANT SAVE YOU

Riley really

You have nothing to be worried about

She loves you

YEAH THATS RIGHT YOU BETTER CLAP

[Riley Forrester]

IF IM GOING DOWN

YOU CERTAIN AS HELL ARE GOING WITH ME

Now that's what I call a hollow head

*soul shocked from creaking skulls*

Yes

You might survive now

YOU WISH

*curls up in ball*

No....

NO!

That's pretty damn sure

IT IS

*so distracts Zoe on a date*

DAMMIT

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT

ENOUGH I SURRENDER

*retracts clapping*

[Kirk Morrowik]

NO

I WILL NOT GO DOWN WITH THIS

I WILL SURVIVE

HEY HEY

Duhurhurhurhur

*doom sealed tonight*

I am Oxknight

Fear me if you dare

I DONT NEED TO WISH

HA HA HA!

TREMBLE BEFORE MY KNOWLEDGE OF DISNEY SONGS MORTAL

It is

*so follows the date*

FINALLY

Seriously Riley

Just calm the hell down

Everything will be alright

DONT YOU DARE

[Riley Forrester]

YOU ARE SO FUCKING GOING DOWN WITH THIS

YOU WILL JOIN ME WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT

hardyharhar

Not the hero the pasture needs

I think I'll pass

PFFFFTTTT

AWAY FROM ME YOU HORRIBLE CREATURE!

*so calls the police about a stalk*

*sighs melodramatically*

Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine Mom

OH I DARE

[Kirk Morrowik]

NO IM NOT

*squirms like an oiled seal*

The fakest of laughs

But the hero the pasture deserves

But none shall pass

Gandalf said so

NEVER

IM STAYING RIGHT HERE

*so gets the hell out of there*

Good

You can have dinner tonight

IMA MAKE YOU REGRET DAT