Just a Nip

[Sammy lee]

Was this real life? Covered in feline vomit wading through the abyss? He barely noticed wave two as it rolled over him, he was pretty sure that some had gotten into his mouth at some point, but he was two busy being sick to care.

The smell was the problem. The awful smell. It rose up and stung his eyes, made his nose burn and stomach turn. Looking at the beast he was defeated, but needed some looking after, whatever had come over it seemed to have worn off, which was nice, but also made him feel sorry for the creature.

Wading over to the beast he finally found carpet that wasn't covered in sick, and used it to rub most of the sick off him, but the smell was still there, he wasn't sure that there was enough showers left in his lifetime to get that off. So he just lay there next to the heaving creature.

"That... was gross. Literally the worst moment of my life." He said, eyes staring straight at the ceiling, trying to forget the horror that had just occurred.

[Humphries]

"We never tell anyone of this," came from the cat, who kept laying slumped several feet from the smallish creature. He shifted, his eyes narrowing to get a better look at it. The creature must not have been entirely born of his drug-fueled delusion, as it happened to be laying there looking rather the worse for wear. Humphries reached out lazily with a paw, just slightly tapping it to confirm that yes, the young man did exist.

"A size-changer," he said, before closing his eyes and curling back up. He should have guessed as much; probably would have had he been in his right mind. even now his mind still thought the whole thing ludicrous and likely the result of some sort of spiking in his catnip. "You would be advised," he said, poking his head out slightly, "to find some way of avoiding felines in the near future, particularly if they've just been drugged by spurious students."

Well, nothing said that a nauseous cat coming down from a drug high couldn't at least attempt to give good advice.

[Sammy lee]

"Yeah... I think that's a good idea." He said laying there, truth be told he felt terrible, the damn stink of cat puke was stuck to him and making him retch, but it was worth it in his mind, just to get that damn cat. As he thought he felt a paw push at him, damn thing nearly rolled him over.

"Looks to me like I kicked your ass, after all, you where the only one to go down. I was still standing." He said with a laugh, the idea was ludicrous but more of a moral victory in his mind. Rolling over to face the cat he let out a few coughs, mostly due to the smell of sick, but also the cat hair that was all over the room.

"So how did they drug you anyway?" He asked rolling back onto his back.

[Humphries]

at least they were in agreement regarding the necessary secrecy. That soothed Humphries' worries more or less, though he wished he could say the same of his still roiling stomach. The cat shifted slightly, if only to prove that yes, he did still feel quite sore. The young man spoke of kicking his ass and the cat turned to look at him.

"Oh yes, you most certainly beat a staff member," he said, his robotic voice making the British sound all the more droll. "How does it feel to be covered from head to toe in my vomit, by the by?"

If the cat could raise a brow, he would. Instead he flicked his tail and laid his body a bit further down. "They laid a trap: dusted me with the nip whilst I was on patrol. It happens, unfortunately. I'm just usually better able to contain the situation." A bit too confessional: Humphries was going to have to blame the nip on that one.

[Sammy lee]

This cat was a staff member... OH SHIT he thought slightly panicked, if he had known that this kitty cat was a member of staff at the school he wouldn't have been so forward with the battle. But it raises more questions than it answered. Most pressuring, how the hell is a kitty a member of staff?

"Well... You did vomit all over a student, pretty sure that counts as violation. So I guess we where both in the wrong." He said jokingly. Thankfully he seemed like he didn't want to make a big deal out of this whole thing, which he hoped meant it would be left out of the records, and he was pretty sure any cameras wouldn't have picked up that little incident.

Rolling on his side he felt his stomach contract, and sure enough what little was left in his stomach was soon on the floor next to him. It was the damn smell, it if was minty then it would be OK, anything but this. "How is a cat a member of staff anyway." He asked when he was back on his back.

[Humphries]

Humphries winced slightly at the mention of vomiting on a student. Strictly speaking that was more... discouraged than outright forbidden. He could also make a case for the young man attacking him. However, doing so would mean that he'd have to actually explain how all this happened in the first place. There would definitely be no details shared about this, and if there were, Humphries would know just who to contact.

The boy shifted to look at Humphries. He could feel the attention put upon him. the cat didn't move as the boy asked his question, and he let out what looked like the feline equivalent of a sigh.

"Clearly I'm a mutant," Humphries pointed out, "and I was on the staff at St. Bethany first, hence the accent," though technically his vocal box was the product of technology and almost sounded like "Standard British Male" to anyone who wasn't familiar with such things. "But I'm on security staff because I'm quite a capable individual who has aided the school tremendously." Humphries then turned to look at the young man. "It's not a matter of having the right power: it's a matter of knowing how to leverage what you do have. don't forget that."

[Sammy lee]

If anyone could see into Sammy's mind they would see the cogs whirring, not literally of course but his mind was trying to process that this cat was both a mutant and staff. And it also appeared to be quite wise.

"Yeah I gotta use my size to my advantage, if they cant see me then they cant hit me, plus I can get all up in there private space without any problems. That or I can crawl through pipes..." he said mind drifting off to some other time, but the still pungent smell of vomit brought him back to reality.

"The names Sammy by the way, if you haven't already got me on file that is. And I would normally want to shake... paw..s... With you if I wasn't covered in your stomach." He said slightly awkwardly, forgetting that he was talking to a cat, unsure if the mutant had once been human or not.

[Humphries]

Humphries nodded: "Too often they think that size or pure raw strength is everything," the cat intoned. "It's good that you're already---" the cat seemed to pause then, as if burping for a moment. He laid back down, his eyes closing. "I think... I think I might have--"

the boy continued. Name Sammy, and yes, there was probably a file on him. Were Humphries fully aware he might even attempt to access it, though his own device made such things awkward. He'd need a computer to truly read through the records. Something to do for later. For now:

"I believe..." the cat said, speaking slowly, "there is still some nip in place on my fur. I'm resisting the urge to lick it at the moment, but seeing as you're of an appropriate size, I don't suppose you'd be willing to help pick it off? It would help clean you surely, and it would put me just a little more in your debt," which Humphries hated... but not as much as he hated being high out of his mind.

[Sammy lee]

He could tell that the poor kitty was still suffering, and sure enough he was told the reason. "Yeah I think that I might be able to help with that." He said pulling himself to his feet. Walking was a chore, the events had taken allot more out of him that he cared to admit, and each step felt like the floor was concrete instead of carpet.

Reaching the kitty he started to climb the mass of fur and muscle, gripping clumps of fur to act as handholds, the climb wasn't easy in his current state, but it was do able. Once he was at top the beast he could see the problem. "Yea...Yeah I can see it..." He said breathing heavily. He really needed to work out more.

Walking over he could see the offending mass of nip. it seemed to have stuck down to some mint, that was totally his fault but he decided to not tell the cat that, no need for the to start arguing over something so minor. "So how shall I get rid of it, without you, well, tripping?" He said to the cat.

[Humphries]

"Good lad," Humphries said as the young man he'd actually vomited upon was now volunteering to comb him over for various illicit substances. The irony was not lost on the feline, and were he capable of ironic chuckling he likely would have engaged in his share of it over the circumstance.

Instead he had to hold still while the young man climbed atop him, utilizing his fur as handholds. The cat knew that laying in one position would be the best thing he could do. He could hear the young man panting from the effort, and made another mental note to somehow reward this young man for his efforts.

That would come after disposing of the nip. "I would say that putting it with the rest of my vomit, excepting that which you're currently wearing, would be a good move," the cat instructed, flicking his tail toward the pile. "As someone will be along soon enough to check that." Humphries paused, this time fighting the urge to look to the young man.

"So, what is the purchase for your help and silence in this rather awkward circumstance, hmm?" he asked, shifting slightly. He did want to be somewhat careful: the last thing they needed was another accident.

[Sammy lee]

He hadn't thought about payment, there wasn't much that a cat could do for him, or get him. Well he was staff so that was a plus, but he really didn't want anything. "Payment? Nah Its fine, don't want anything." He said as he picked up a piece of the catnip from his fur.

"Gross this stuff smells like mint." He said as he felt a sticky patch of fur, tossing the nip into the puddle of sick he realized just how much there was. "You say someone will be around to check, does that mean that someone is watching us?" He asked slowly. He didn't want to get in trouble for this whole deal, but hopefully the cat would be able to save him from that as well.

"Could you keep still please? I don't want to get covered in sick... again." He asked as he nearly lost his footing, grabbing onto his ear to try and balance himself.

[Humphries]

Strange that the young man didn't ask for anything. Humphries didn't quite believe that, even if he had met a few young people who were actually altruistic enough to volunteer their surfaces to him. He simply hadn't vomited over them before now.

Ugh, mint flavored catnip would be awful. Humphries had to suppress a shudder simply thinking about it. Worse, he'd have to clean himself later. He was almost toying with the idea of actually seeing if there would be someone willing to bathe him. Tamara might, but she always seemed unnerved whenever he arrived to do so. Alex, perhaps?

"My apologies," the cat said. "Hold for a moment," he waited to make certain that the young man had a good grip. Then Humphries stretched out, getting into a comfortable position that also happened to give a fair amount of access to his fur. "There, that should do us nicely," he said, flicking his tail slightly. "now, as for someone else: it's quite simple, there are janitorial staff. I can also send a message to them via my collar, which i will do when we are at a safe distance and have this at least somewhat dealt with." Because again: Humphries had no intention of being found like this.

[Sammy lee]

"Gotcha boss." He said as the cat shifted around, giving him better access to the stash of nip. "So that collar is like a universal tool that you can use to do allot of things, right?" He asked as he picked up pieces of catnip and tossed them into the pile of sick on the floor.

"And why wait to get them to clean it up, It wouldn't look that bad and I can hide in your fur if you want me too." He said jokingly, it would be funny if they janitor came along and saw a tiny little man trying to hide In his fur he thought, although slightly awkward at the same time.

[Humphries]

Humphries grunted at the mention of "boss" finding the term almost endearing, really. He would've nodded along with the next question, while still thinking about how it seemed like all the children were asking questions about how he functioned these days. Clearly he was inflicting less fear and terror than he'd like. Then again, he was laying a few feet from his sick being groomed by a tiny human.

"It's connected to the school's internet and the various databases. It also quite obviously has been connected with technology that allows me to speak, though that is relatively new,' and Humphries still wasn't entirely certain why it had taken as long to get such a thing ready as it did.

Humphries raised his head enough to give his groomer another long look. "I'd rather not be seen at the scene of the crime, if it's all the same to you." Humphries flicked his tail and laid down again. He was almost tempted to threaten the young man, especially given as he was currently bite-sized. However, again, that did strike him as being slightly counter-productive.

[Sammy lee]

"Oh that's cool, although I would have thought a school of this size would have CCTV cameras to catch things like this. If not for safety reasons." He said continuing to clean the kitty. Being this close to the cat wasn't doing his nose any favors, and he could feel the hair mixed with nip starting to itch his nose.

"You know, I think all this hair isn't good for me, makes me kinda want to sneeze. But the things I do to not get vomited on..." grabbing a tuft of fur and rubbing his face with it to remove any vomit that was still clung to his hair or face.