Totally Not Dancing

[Ashley Benson]

"Oh." The free admission from Quinn that he had been intentionally seeking out isolation in the auditorium made Ashley briefly reconsider the tentative plan for coffee. Was Quinn only going along with the offer because he felt sorry for Ashley? Maybe he simply wanted to placate her in hopes that she would leave him alone moving forward. It wasn't as if he'd done anything other than reluctantly agree to much of everything she'd said. Ashley may not have been adept at picking up on the finer, more subtle points of social interaction but she didn't need to be to see Quinn's overall lack of enthusiasm with her presence.

Then Quinn continued speaking. It seemed progress, him divulging at least a small bit of personal information, was being made slowly. Still, it was encouraging and Ashley listened, glancing toward him when he finally contributed his own question. "No." She replied with a shake of her head. "I'm more interested in photography, too." She confessed, offering a faint, almost sheepish smile. "To be able to take an image of how you see the world and capture it is... beautiful." There was another smile before Ashley paused and contemplated whether or not she'd taken the conversation into awkward territory. "Anyway, I, uh, I'm not in college yet either."

[Quinn Wiley]

It was not pity that made Quinn want to take this coffee. It was so that Ashley would not bring it back later on. Although, by her attitude, he figured it would not be hard to tell her he had no interest whatsoever in her or her offer and that she should leave him alone. She would do it. But Quinn was not intentionally mean. Okay, maybe he was. Sometimes. But he was not a bad person at heart and there really was no fun in kicking someone who was already on the ground. If she happened to be one of those who did that, he wouldn’t have as much scruples in doing it but she had an air that made it clear she was more often than none the victim rather than the bully. Quinn was not sure he could define himself as a victim. Not since he was here. He was more like a ghost. He both loved and hated that.

He came here to study in peace because the student lounge was too busy and he might encounter one annoying roommate in his dorm. He could have said it like that. She wouldn’t have felt as bad, if bad she felt right now. But Quinn tended to think of those things only after he said them. It was kind of too late now and he did not want to justify himself. It would sound as if he was making excuses for himself. And he didn’t want that.

She admitted liking photography too. “You in the club?” He didn’t remember seeing her there and even though he rarely talked even to those around, he believed he at least knew them. Maybe they were never there at the same time. He figured he would have recognized her, especially after the camping trip. Could he really pay this little attention? He thought he was more observant than that. He preferred not to say anything at the way she talked of photography. Maybe she was not taking pictures herself, just looking at them.

He had a brief nod and a little sound came out his lips to acknowledge her words. Quinn should be in college by now. But with everything that happened to his life at some point, he ended up having to redo an entire year and now he was a junior, waiting for go to his last year of high school. In a way, he couldn’t wait. He was not sure he wanted to go to college. He should. Everyone keeps talking of college like it was the place you had to go, that a diploma there would change your life, allowing you not to work in a fast food restaurant forever. But he was not sure it was where he should go. He supposed he still had an entire year to think about it.

[Ashley Benson]

"No." Ashley answered with a frown. She wasn't part of any club, at least not actively. She'd been pushed in that direction by a number of people close to her and had yet to act upon the suggestion. There was still the fear and anxiety of being around a group. Ashley didn't know how to integrate herself with the rest of her peers. She couldn't help but wonder what they would think of the new girl in whatever club she ended up joining if they knew she had to be aggressively medicated by anti-psychotic drugs in order to help prevent her mind from losing touch with reality.

"I don't think I'm any good." She added, shrugging sheepishly as she dropped her gaze. Confidence in such things wasn't her strong suit. Ashley was still growing accustomed to being in public housing again, he hadn't had the chance to work on her picture taking skills or even be taught what separated a good photo from a bad one. "Do you show your pictures anywhere?" She ventured cautiously, glancing toward Quinn. Perhaps there was something they could use to connect after all, even if she was uncertain whether or not Quinn would be offended or upset at the idea of displaying his work. "I-I wouldn't mind seeing some of them." She offered. "If that would be okay."

[Quinn Wiley]

Quinn nodded, glad to know that his observation skills were still good and that she was not in the same club as he was. It would have been weird that he did not recognize otherwise. Well, maybe he would not have at the camp, she had been in such a state, but after that, if he could not have remembered her, there was a problem. But she was not in the photography club so everything was fine.

She explained this by saying she was not good. Oh. That happens. He was not going to judge her on that. He shrugged at it. “You don’t need to be good to appreciate it,” he admitted. It was only that, the way she talked of it, he believed she loved taking pictures as well. But if she didn’t think she was that good at it, it explained why she preferred not to join the club. You always ended up comparing your work to the other ones and Quinn had often second guessed some of his best work when looking at Zoe’s. And he believed he was good. It was not enough to make him want to drop out on his favourite hobby but it might do that to her.

She asked about his work. He tried not to grimace but he might not have done a really good job at it. “I gave some to the newspaper. And I’m participating in the fashion show,” he explained. Not as a model, obviously. Sadly, so far, he didn’t show his work to a whole lot of people. Truth was, he was so afraid of any bad critic, knowing he wouldn’t be able to take those, that he dared not show his pictures to many people. She said she wanted to see his work. As usual, the mix of excitement at the thought someone might like it and the fear they would not got to him. “I might,” he finally after a moment. He always felt like he had to justify the pictures he took, even when people liked them. And say he had yet found his style. But that sounded like such a pathetic excuse.

[Ashley Benson]

Ashley nodded faintly as she listened with a certain intent shining in her eyes. As hesitant as Quinn seemed to be talking of himself or his craft, the fact remained he was still talking. She didn't know what would ultimately come of all this or if Quinn was only going along with all this just to humor her in hopes that she'd leave him alone but Ashley would take it as a victory that the two of them had managed to have a somewhat normal conversation in the wake of the debacle their first meeting had been.

"Yes, but sometimes I don't know what I'm appreciating." Ashley replied with a sheepish shrug of her shoulders. A light, nervous laugh followed shortly after as she peered over to Quinn. Her answer had been vague and it took her a moment to realize this. She started, eyes flashing with recognition of the revelation before she elaborated. "I don't know anything about what makes one photograph better than another." She admitted. "I know there's a technical aspect to it I can't figure out." Her eyes lowered to the floor beneath her feet for a moment. "Sometimes a picture just makes mefeel." She was rambling now, she felt, and issued a soft sigh. "Sorry." She waved a hand dismissively. Surely Quinn didn't want to hear her convoluted rantings. "See? Told you I don't know what I'm talking about."

Then there was talk of the newspaper and the upcoming fashion show Ashley had heard of. She nodded, thankful for the topic that Quinn seemed at least okay with talking about. "Really?" She said, eyes brightening some. "Do you work a lot of events like that?" She asked, her head tilting curiously.

[Quinn Wiley]

Quinn fell silent as she said she was not sure what she liked. He had no idea what to answer to that. Was there really something that could be said? If so, he did not have the answer. It was not like him to say that while trying different things, you get to explore what you liked and liked less, or that it did not matter why you liked something as long as you did and it made you happy. Happy. It definitely was a concept Quinn had trouble with. And this was not an advice he’d give. If he ever gave advices and he doubted he would ever.

She explained herself further, saying she did not know what made a picture beautiful. Now, that was more something he could reply to. “There is no specific reason why a picture is beautiful or not. You like or you don’t. That’s why some people turned an all white painting into a masterpiece. It’s still just someone who painted a canvas with white,” he replied. Personally, he failed to understand why people loved it so much. There was nothing of interest to see in it. He could do the same thing and no one would consider it art. But some people loved it just like they might not see anything artistic in his pictures so he understood it was just a question of personal taste.

He stared at her when she claimed she had no idea what she was talking about. He wanted to say she nailed it. It was supposed to make you feel something. If it did not, you had the right not to like it. Instead of telling her so however Quinn simply stared at her, his eyes slightly wider than usual but his mouth still quite shut.

He shook his head at her question about the fashion show. “First time,” he admitted. What he didn’t want to admit was how excited yet nervous he was about it.

[Ashley Benson]

Ashley's eyes very much lit up as Quinn began to speak. He seemed to have very strong opinions on the subject of what made his craft art and to finally have caught his interest was seen as something of an accomplishment. She nodded faintly as she listen with rapt attention. Perhaps he was right in his line of thought. Perhaps art truly was subjective, though there had to be a more 'formal' manner of photography, right? "That... makes sense." She said with a slow nod of her head. It wasn't as if Quinn had presented something profound and life changing to her but her experience in discussing things as idiosyncratic as art with other people was limited, to say the least. "What about you?" She asked, watching him as her brilliant, azure eyes gleamed. "Do you consider the white canvas to be art?"

"Obviously you must be good if they want you to cover the fashion show." Ashley reasoned aloud and accentuated her point with another curt nod. At least that's how she figured this sort of thing happened. How often did someone lacking an artistic eye get published in a paper or get tasked with capturing a summer event? "I'll bet you'll do great." She added, her tone lowering a little as she didn't quite know how Quinn would handle such words of encouragement. To help she even offered her the most reassuring smile she could muster.

[Quinn Wiley]

Of course, photography was used for other purposes than art. You just had to think of the pictures in a newspaper, meant to inform people, give them an image of what they were reading, to give the words more power. Or the wedding, prom, yearbook and any idea pictures of people that could be taken, this time more to represent something that was happening or an era. But Quinn didn’t want to end up taking wedding pictures and he was not entirely sure about newspapers either. He liked the message those pictures could send but he was not entirely sure he could do that. He thought he was more into art. It certainly was an alley he wanted to explore first. And why he talked of art.

He didn’t know if she really thought it made sense or if she disagreed with a part, or the whole, of his point of view. “Art should make you feel something. That’s why there are so many different styles. Because people don’t react in the same way in front of something. Technique’s important, but it’s not everything.” How else to explain that someone would find beautiful the drawing of a six year old? Sure, you could argue it was because it had been drawn by their six year old but that didn't really make it beautiful. It was only the explanation why they put it on their fridge. “Not really. I get monochrome and abstract art can be beautiful but this one... In a way, I get why it could be interesting, because it’s a white canvas is kind of like a blank canvas and that’s the beginning of art. I guess I like the idea but the painting itself, not really speaking to me.” He shrugged. He just wouldn’t want to hang that on a wall, or spend every day watching it. He could get that some might see something in it worthy of putting it in a museum. He still wouldn’t give it more than a minute or two.

He had a soft laugh as she pointed out he wouldn’t be taking pictures for the fashion show if he was not any good. “I guess so.” But he couldn’t help thinking that it might just be the fact no one else from the photography club suggested to take pictures of it. It was a little weird that she encouraged him and it certainly showed on his face for a moment. But he still said “Thanks,” nonetheless. “You will see it? Or the activities? I heard the prepared a lot of stuff.”

[Ashley Benson]

Ashley nodded slowly as Quinn elaborated on his interpretation of art. It made sense and, in a way, vindicated her and the uncertainty she'd previously expressed when it came to what made 'good' art. She couldn't help but smile at his words. She could nearly feel the passion in which he spoke, and she loved it. "You feel very strongly about this." She said in a half question, half statement of the obvious. It made her, just briefly, wish she had something she could hold onto as deeply as Quinn. She was almost envious.

"I don't know." Ashley then frowned at the question. She was aware of the fashion show and all the events surrounding it. Part of her wanted to attend but the ever present voice of foolish reason in the back of her mind caused her to hesitate. "I... Don't do well with people, usually." She cast Quinn an apologetic glance. "You probably figured that out."

[Quinn Wiley]

Quinn had few passions in life and even fewer people to share it with. Because of that, he had no way of knowing his attitude might have changed, that passion could be heard through his tone, that he might almost appear happy or whatever other adjective similar to this you wanted to apply here. But Quinn loved art, it was a fact. He just sucked at drawing things. Well, he probably was not all that bad, except things would lean on one side or a part of it might just be too big to be realistic or visually pretty. He also didn’t think he had enough words to allow his imagination to express itself freely. With photography however, he found something he was good at. The fact he would think he was good already meant a lot, as he was certainly his worst critic.

He seemed to realise all of this only when she pointed it out. For a moment, he was almost ashamed of it, like he could not have a strong opinion about something, that he shouldn’t be passionate about anything. He was the one guy that never did, said or tried anything. He couldn’t love something this much. Only he did. Yeah. I guess I do.” Now would be a good time to shift the conversation and have her share. Only Quinn lacked the social skills to realise that and was too deep in his thoughts to really think about something to say.

His eyes rolled a bit as she admitted not doing too well with people. He knew that for sure. “Neither do I,” he admitted although this one she might not have figured it. Or she did. It was not like it was that big of a secret. “But they’re letting me take pictures and I really thought they’d ask the others before letting me.” After all, people like Zoe and Ezra seemed like a more obvious choice than he. They had the chance of being known more. He looked at her. “Don’t feel forced to go if you don’t want to. They always announce their events with so much noise around here that you end up feeling forced to go because everyone seem to.”