Piñata Murder

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Well, you can, it's just a different kind of fun," Frank allowed. She still wasn't quite sure what to make of this strange guy. He reminded her a lot of Ellen in the worst ways. In fact, he just sort of reminded her a lot of Ellen period.

"You gotta be there!" Frank insisted, stepping forward again, ready to close the gap and literally hug this poor, funless soul if it came to that. "You gotta be, like, right under the pinata and experience the shower of delicious treats when it happens. Gets you in touch with the inner fun in all of us." She scooted forward and leaned against him. "Plus, you totes need to practice hitting things with a stick, very helpful skill to have later in life."

No names, and now he was even tapping the pinata, insisting that it was hers. "Well, you totes gotta have the party! You need to experience this!" Frank narrowed her eyes, raising the pinata. "Don't you wanna experience destroying something in joy?" She wiggled it, then lowered it. "Without dropping it on people, 'cuz that is just sick and wrong. Also: name. I'm Frank," she gestured at him with a free hand, giving him an expectant look.

[Akeem Ten-Amen]

“Not my kind,” he repeated. The only way he could accept to see shirtless guys would be because they were all changing in the locker room and he had no interest in checking them out. Of course, if that girl was straight, a shirtless guy was something she must enjoy to look at. But he too was straight and he preferred the guys around him to keep their shirt on.

Akeem stopped in his track when he saw her approaching. Wait, she was really coming his way? Now he wanted to run for the door even more. Somehow, being showered by whatever was inside the piñata, even if it turned out to be candy in the end, was not all that tempting. He was about to say he was not a candy fan but he stopped. She was able to be even more astonished by that than she already was by the fact he never had a piñata party.

His brows arched up and he restrained an amused smirk at her words. “I don’t have a stick. Didn't see any with it. And I don’t play baseball,” he said but what amused him was the vision of this girl swinging a stick around. He then remembered that you were technically supposed to be blindfolded so that it would last longer and he could see her hit him with that stick so hard he would fall on the floor, knocked out. Yeah, maybe giving her a stick was not a good idea.

“That’s what I wanted to do but you said it was not how it was done,” he pointed out when she talked of destroying something. he too believed that dropping it on people was wrong. “I made sure there was no one below. I didn’t want to hurt anyone.” She was trying to get his name, claimed she was called Frank. Who cared, he was not going to remember that. But he sighed, feeling forced here. “Akeem.”

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Definitely Ellen two point oh," Frank mumbled to herself, studying the guy closely. "And you don't need your own stick: I can totally provide that. Plus, like, there's sticks everywhere," Frank let out a laugh and rolled her eyes. "There's probably even something around this roof that could be used as one," she spent a few seconds looking around before getting distracted by the conversation again (or focused, depending on how you looked at things).

"Right, proper pinata procedure. Once you do it right, you aren't ever gonna wanna do it any other way," Frank slid forward again, getting within touching distance of Akeem now. "Just think, Akeem," she gestured with her free hand, "everyone gathered to celebrate, and you,' she pointed at him, "the cause of it all. With great triumph, we display the pinata," she held it up, putting both hands to it, "and the crowd bursts into wild abandon," Frank let out cheering noises for several seconds. Then she leaned over and stage-whispered: "It's mostly for the chance to hit something and not get in trouble, but the candy helps," some nodding, and then at normal voice, "then we reveal the candy and the blindfold and the stick. then, then you step forward," she was ready to nudge him, 'and get ready for the time of your life."

Frank stopped then, a hand outstretched, waiting with all the tension and drama the moment demanded.

[Akeem Ten-Amen]

Akeem didn't hear Frank. A good thing because he would argue not being anything like Ellen. She just happened to get on his bad side, something that did not happen all that often. Unlike Ellen, he was able to be good natured. Just not with Frank. She was much too weird for him. The comparison between Akeem and Ellen made, she finally talked out loud, offering to give him a stick. She said there might even be something worthy of being called a stick on the roof. He looked around. “I’m seeing a ball but nothing stick-like,” he said, seeing the noticeable red ball a little away from them.

That Frank was getting closer to him. She had no intention of just giving up it seemed. It was ridiculous. She was still there, explaining the rules to a proper piñata party like they should do it together. If he would like being the cause of celebration, the way she said it didn't exactly appealed to him the way it should. He also somehow doubted that little donkey could be the cause to such a wave of joy. Unless you were like seven. Come to think of it, she looked like seven so perhaps that explained her logic.

She was being overly dramatic for something very little in the end. Even a cheesy afternoon sitcom would think she was too much. He didn't follow her hand as she stretched it, the way a cheesy afternoon sitcom would require him to. He did say the line expected out of the rational character of it though. “Yeah, I think I’ll pass. But feel free to tell me all the joy and enchantment you had when you did it yourself. Hope that’s really filled with candy and that you liked them.” His goal was then to head towards the door and leave the roof. Praying whatever someone could pray that she would not follow and insist.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"Bummer," Frank offered as she looked around. "Oh, ball, no," she'd already started forward, actually moving away from Akeem for a few paces. She held her hands out as if the ball were the thing springing forward instead of her. The universal "stay" gesture remained as she continued: "We will not be distracted by balls, even if they look especially bouncy and red and therefore awesome. We have more important things to discuss."

And then it was turning back to the afterschool special on proper Piñata procedure, which of course was super important and stuff. Apparently not important enough for Akeem, as he was again attempting to pass. "Ah, but it doesn't work like that," Frank insisted, pointing at him with a finger before holding it up and shaking it in reprimand. "You totes got to experience all the joy and wonder which is the Piñata, or you'll just miss out on one of life's experiences and you won't like that. So," Frank grinned, "just lemme know when and where you wanna do it, and I'll totes set it up for you .Or, or, or," she started smacking him on the shoulder, "I can totes make it a surprise for you! You'll just be walking into the student lounge one day and BAM!" she threw her arms up into the air. "Piñata party!"

And there was some various noises coming out of Frank that were probably supposed to mimic dance music while she began turning her hips in a circle and doing something that probably passed for dancing among a few people.

[Akeem Ten-Amen]

This girl was no girl. She was a dog. Only a dog would consider it possible to be distracted by the red ball over there while discussing something and looking for a stick. He could see her as a dog. Some sort of hyperactive golden retriever puppy, jumping and yapping while running all over you, making you stop in your tracks for you might just stumble or end up kicking that damn dog. Yeah, the comparison seemed to fit well. Even if he was the one who got the stay order here. Like Akeem was anything like a dog! If he had to be compared to an animal, he should be more like a cat, if only because of the way he didn’t seem to give a damn about her.

She refused to let go of him and he was about to lose his temper when something she said scared him enough to freeze. Surprised piñata party? Oh hell no! “Fine. Let’s do it. Now. You try to set this thing up and I’ll go looking for a stick. There must be a baseball bat I can borrow or something...” he let out. Anything was better than risking to run into her again. Worse, have her plan something for them. That was not happening. He’ll then just have to make sure he was away enough from the piñata when she’ll be the one breaking it. She better be good at hitting things because he didn’t want to pretend to be worse than she was until she got it.

He also hoped agreeing would make her stop make those sounds and those little dance moves. What was she doing, really? Yeah, that cat didn't want to see that dog again. The sooner he’ll be rid of the, the better. He was even tempted to not go look for a stick and leave her alone. But she’ll end up running after him right? He could see her running after him, calling him out all around the school, with that dreadful piñata under her arm, asking people if he’s seen him, using... he preferred not to think how she’ll describe him while looking for him. No, he had to make her lose all interest in him. Or maybe... could he use his pheromones? He sort of feared they would just make her want to organise him a party even more, even if he somehow managed to get away from the piñata. Okay, maybe no power was best.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

"I told you!" Frank said, blowing out her lips. "We gotta do it right, and that means setting up a party and stuff. Look," Frank took a step forward, sidling up to stand next to him again, "just give me a name or something and I'll totes set everything up. You just gotta show up and beat this thing to death with a stick," she held it up and made it dance a little dance before speaking for it again: "Jes, keel me, meester. Poot me out of my mizery," in what was very nearly a racist accent.

Then Frank yanked the Piñata down again, giving Akeem another wide grin. No, there would be no getting rid of this particular dog without a particularly distracting bone. Albeit, it wouldn't take all THAT much to actually distract Frank... normally. Right now, she seemed to be stuck on a thing, and when Frank got stuck, well. Best to just go along.

The sooner Akeem realized that, the better everyone would be.
(and you'd think he'd have got it by now, like, for serious)

[Akeem Ten-Amen]

He thought his idea was good. But she insisted on a party. Why did she have to insist on a part? “Oh no. If we make this thing big, people will think whatever’s in ... your friend, is all theirs. Plus what if I suck? We should have a private party. For practice.” he couldn’t believe he just said that. Was it possible to feel dirty just by asking for a private piñata party? Because he sort of did. Maybe it was more the terrible Mexican accent that just made it so much worse.

Akeem might have started to understand she was not one to give up easily once a crazy idea crossed her mind but he could be just as stubborn. And his stubborn mind told him to run away from her and that piñata before either one of them exploded. Because, at this rate, if it was Frank’s head that blew like a balloon before exploding, he might not even be surprised. It was impossible to hold that much energy into one small body without something like that to happen.

“And you better stop with your accent because I think the piñata will start being offended,” he added. If he could have her talk normally, it would already be a small victory. Her voice could be really annoying as she was too enthusiastic over this, but the Mexican accent just made it worse. And someone had to come over and say it was racist. Might as well be him.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

Frank gave Akeem another suspicious look. "Buuut if we go for a private party than you can totally just duck out if it last minute and feel all smug like you missed the obligation. But if we make it public and I confuse you and manage to get you in the right spot at just the right time, there's gonna be a lot of social pressure on you to go through with it. Beeeeesiiiides," Frank rolled her eyes and let out a laugh of disbelief, "there's no way that you can mess up the whole piñata thing. It's just about the experience and--"

Frank paused, mostly because there was this other bit of the conversation that she'd essentially talked over that she was now realizing that she totally had to backtrack and cover. She held her hand up and started pointing as if trying to read through a script and find her line. For a moment it almost seemed like she was going to turn to the side and shout as much. Instead she simply looked over at him. "That's the piñata's voice, not mine, so it couldn't be offended. Besides," she raised the hand to point at him, her eyes narrowing, "you said you don't know anything about piñatas, sooooo win."

Another pause and Frank nodded, feeling like she'd just nailed that. "Also," she dug into her pocket, pulled out her phone, aimed, and took a picture, "there, now I just gotta post this up to Facebook and I'll totally find out who you are!"

[Akeem Ten-Amen]

Frank had every reason to be suspicious. Akeem didn't want a party. He wanted to go back to his room. Oh, why did he pick that stupid piñata in front of his door! He should have left it there and let others deal with it. Worse, he was losing patience here. This crazy girl was too crazy for him. He would have wanted to find some clever thing to say to convince her he would not back out on a private party. Couldn’t they have a rehearsal with that piñata and make a party sometime after never? That would be great. But he couldn’t say a word because she wouldn’t stop. He barely managed to tell her that her accent was borderline racist. He knew if he was Mexican he’d be offended. She said it was an experience thing. “But that’s just...” Too late, she was already onto something else.

He rolled his eyes too only his gesture was filled with a lot more annoyance and had less laughter to accompany it. If a sound escaped his lips, it was closer to an exasperated sigh actually. When she stopped and did her weird hand gestures, he thought that maybe she realised that. No. She just pointed out it was the piñata’s voice. Like it actually had a voice. He rolled his eyes again when she indeed remembered he knew nothing of piñatas but used it to justify the fact he wouldn’t know what accent it would have. “I’m glad I’m not Mexican then,” he simply grumbled. How can someone get rid of a Frank? Was there a Frank exterminator around he could call? He’d really love their phone number now.

He blinked when she took his picture. He groaned for real this time. “It’s Akeem. Are you satisfied? And I already told you the piñata was all for you. Consider it a gift. You don’t give gifts back. So go... I don’t know, sing Mexican songs while eating tacos with your new friend and I’ll leave you two alone.” When it came to racist comments, he supposed he was pretty good at them too. But he couldn’t care less and simply went for the door.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

Yes, too late: the Frank-train had already started rolling and wasn't about to stop now. There was a sigh instead of a laugh, which Frank was used to from some people. She'd gotten decidedly less of that since she'd arrived at Bellefonte all those fated days ago, but that didn't mean that she didn't recognize the reaction when she experienced it yet again. Oh look, even an eye roll. "Well, if you were Mexican, you'd totally know about pinatas," Frank pointed out, giving him another look that just reinforced that he really should be better considering the logic of these statements.

The picture had been taken and now Frank had a first name. She grinned wider than ever: "I will be when we get you that party, Akeem," she said, pointing the phone at him. "And Hobbits give gifts back all the time: you just have to watch the New Zealand documentaries to know that. Soooo I'll just have to make it a surprise pinata party," she grinned at that, before raising the pinata up to give a little dance, all the while backing up. Oh yes, now she'd decided, which in Frank's world, meant that it was an inevitability.

Assuming she didn't get distracted by something, forget, and end up doing it again later.

[Akeem Ten-Amen]

He tried to understand her logic. So Mexicans would know about piñatas. Did that mean he knew about mummies? He would have loved to, to wrap her up and embalm her. Although, she was probably able to get up from her sarcophagus and attack everyone. One could argue she was not as scary as those mummies were, but he could tell that one they would be greatly mistaken. Because the only thing more disturbing than the thought of this blond girl chasing him with a piñata was this blond girl wrapped up in bandages chasing him with a piñata. Suddenly, he wished she thought he was Arabian so she’d think he knew everything about bombs and being a terrorist.

And then there was something about hobbits and New Zealand. But, at that time, she had gone so far in her crazy world that Akeem had lost sight of what she meant. He was tempted to point out he never watched the Hobbit movies but after what happened with the piñata, he learned his lesson and kept his mouth shut.

He didn’t care about her party. He didn’t want it. He just wanted to go back to his room. And not come out as long as there were girls like her around. In the end, maybe he should use his pheromones. He let some out. The love ones, mind you. He needed her like that if he wanted her to believe him. “Truth is, I want you to have it,” he began to say as he moved closer to her, softening his tone. He could not believe what he was doing right now. The things one must do to get out of a jam. “I wouldn’t be able to fully appreciate it. But it’s obvious that you’d give it the ending it deserves. I mean look at it,” and he eyed down at the donkey. That stupid thing that was the source of all his problems right now. He then stared back at her. “How do you know that’s not the way it wants to go?” Please let her not be even more psychotic when in love.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

Frank stared at Akeem, totally convinced in the rightness of her convictions. Except that now she kinda wasn't really feeling it. in fact, she was thinking that she should do whatever Akeem wanted. "I think I'm in love with you?" Frank said, tilting her head. Her yes shifted. "When did--oooh, you want me to keep it? Is it a declaration of your love for me!?"

Frank darted forward then, her eyes wide. "I will so give it the ending it deserves to prove my undying love for you.... you..." Frank waved a hand around Akeem, "you whatever your name is. I will--look at it," because that was precisely what he told her to do. "yes, yes, I see it now: whatever you want!"

Frank's head bobbed rapidly and she took another step closer to Akeem, practically invading his bubble now. Her eyes had gone sort of wide, just shy of manic. "Whatever you want us to do with the pinata is perfectly alright. Better than that even. We will so crush its very soul for our love!" Frank clenched a hand then, raising it upward while trembling all the while, finally ending by thrusting it triumphantly into the air.

[Akeem Ten-Amen]

That was a first. Akeem got all sorts of reaction from people whenever he sent pheromones their way, but he could not quite recall someone who so quickly confessed her love for him. Luckily, it would vanish over time and she wouldn’t feel that anymore. She might wonder for a time, which was a dreadful thought, but she wouldn’t feel any love for him next time they meet.

He hesitated however when she asked if the gift was a declaration of love. No. Just no. He could not say it was. Even if the feelings might go away, what they would do now would not vanish from her mind. She might remember he said yes, think he was in love with her. And he didn’t even want to think what she would do thinking that.

He didn’t have the time to say anything though that she was all in the love thing. She was scaring her even more than earlier though. What a terrible idea he had! She was not rambling on their undying love! He couldn’t let her wander off to tell people that. But he didn’t want to stay. He spent enough time with this crazy girl. He could still argue she was hit by his pheromones, on accident of course. She couldn’t remember his name, which was sort of a relief. It would be hard to trust her if she went on about her soul mate being some guy she didn’t even remember the name of. He hoped she would not remember it.

“That’s good. I know I could trust you with that. I felt it straight away when you came over,” he told her. He had to be careful to say nothing that might make her believe he really, indeed loved her. Because that would be the greatest joke he had ever heard. She was being very scary though, more than she did before. She was all over him, with that piñata in her arms no less. Two menaces he wanted to be away from. “That’s the spirit,” he answered as he tried to move away from her. She could also crush it for the fun of crushing it, he’d be fine with that. He just wanted to be away. And when she thrust it in the air, he was afraid she might just drop it or something and it would smash on the roof. Since he had no idea what was inside, he didn’t want to risk being there to be covered in whatever was inside. “I’m afraid I was to go now. An emergency, you have to believe me. But you should totally go ahead and smash our donkey friend,” he said as he moved backwards in direction of the door. He was even doing some hand gestures to fit with his words. He really wanted to be out of here before something blew up, either the piñata or the girl.

[Frank "Sunny" Laffont]

Whatever-his-name was had to be the absolute hottest creature that Frank had ever seen, and she'd watched Twilight at least four times. There was simply no denying the sheer perfection in his chiseled face. Or how his beady, mean looking eyes simply demanded that you give him attention. Or how his smooth voice immediately started cooing and insisting that he believed so very fully in the girl. She was already nodding along with it. She probably would have jumped off a bridge if he said as much.

"Yes, the spirit," Frank repeated, almost as if in some sort of trance (which she totally wasn't in. What she felt with whoever this was was so very real you guys). Frank cooed and tried to move closer to him, but he was already talking about leaving.

"What? But I'll die if I'm not in your presence!" Frank insisted, adding a little whimper. She actually dropped the donkey to head Akeem's way, her eyes wide. "You can't leave me all on my own! I'll pine without you! Whatever it is, I can definitely help! Let me help you..." She paused for a bit, pulling back and studying him. "I want to say... Arnold?"