The Best I Can

[Devyn Solway]

Beth said it was hard; damn right it was hard. Yet, the older woman also said that it was not impossible. It felt like it sometimes and even with those around her saying the same thing it didn't always help. Even now it was still hard to believe the words but Devyn was trying to, she was trying so hard to keep it together and understand. The keeping it together part was not working out so well in her favor but at least she was starting to get. Or at least started to feel like she could keep going and that she could not give up.

These talks always helped, even if she didn't like them. It was thanks to the adults and other people that had helped Devyn be able to make it as far as she had come. It helped that Beth didn't scare when Devyn growled and got slightly defensive. She hated to be seen as a monster and the fact that Beth handle her being on edge so well just helped so much. It helped break down those walls and Devyn could not hold it back anymore. She was crying, shaking, and just felt so weak as she held onto Beth and let it all go.

"Th-thanks. Don't uh...tell anyone about this." Devyn said as she stayed within Beth's arms and had a good hold on the woman. She smelled so nice, it felt so warm. Was this...was this what love from a mother was supposed to feel like? It reminded her of the times when her mother was good to her, this then also scared her. What if this was some kind of trap? What if it was a lie or a trick on her mind? It caused her to start to growl a little bit but she didn't pull away, wanting to still have all of this even if it was a lie. "You really mean that?" Devyn asked as she pulled back a little to look at Beth.

She did remove one arm from around Beth, moving to rub at her green eyes that seemed even greener then normal due to her crying. Ugh, she felt like crap and didn't feel like cool, calm, and collected Devyn who was not bothered by anything. Who didn't have a care in the world. Even if all of those things said or thought about her were not all that true.

[Beth Young]

"I won't," she promised, one of her hands coming up to wipe at Devyn's cheek. She tightened her grip around the girl's shoulders and allowed the girl to continue crying, humming softly as she did. She was glad it seemed as if the girl finally allowed herself to feel all the things she'd been feeling as opposed to keeping it all locked up inside. Beth couldn't imagine how lonely that must have made the girl feel. "I really mean it," she said, lowering her head so she could look at the young girl and offer her a warm, reassuring smile.

She loosened her grip around the girl when she pulled back a little, lowering one hand to place it upon the girl's cheek, brushing her short hair away from her face. She then moved her hand to her pocket, pulling out a package with tissues and handing it over to the girl. She wasn't about to push for more information, and it seemed as if the girl had finally gotten out what she'd been carrying around for a long time.

She was crying, yes, but this was also a step forward. "A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor," she whispered as her hand returned to Devyn's cheek, caressing it softly as she continued carrying a warm smile on her lips.

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn gave a small nod, trusting Beth when she said that she would not tell anyone about this. It felt good to just let it all go for a moment, to just be weak and not the alpha in a situation for once. Sure, it also made her feel like she was going to regret it any second, but this was a feeling that she needed from time to time. That was part of why she was picky about her guys, because with a guy she wanted him to be the alpha and it was hard meeting guys who could out alpha her.

Then with girls she wanted to take care of them and didn't mind if they were an alpha or not because all girls that were alphas also had that soft side to them. Dev was proof of that. The tight hold felt good, so did the touch to the side of her face as Beth was kind enough to get her some tissues. In any other situation Dev would have tried to flirt it up with the woman, but now it just didn't feel right to do such a thing. What felt right was hugging her and wanting to thank her and pay her back in whatever way she could.

"Really...thanks for all of this." Devyn muttered as she took some of the tissues and wiped at her eyes and nose. Ugh, she still felt like crap but the good kind in where you had gotten something out and just felt tired after it. She wanted some bacon, or a really large piece of steak; followed by a nap. That sounded like a good plan to do after she was down here, which was pretty much now since she had gotten things out and she didn't want to hog up too much of Beth's time. "Guess that’s true." Devyn said as she let out a slight chuckle before clearing her throat. "I...I should let you get to the other kids or back to your day...yeah?" Devyn asked after taking another moment to clean herself up; her green eyes shining brightly.

[Beth Young]

"You're very welcome." She was glad it seemed as if the young woman had calmed down. She didn't notice the girl's power acting up anymore either. Which was always a good sign. It was hard for so many of these kids, seeing as how their powers were tied to their emotions. They were already emotional and hormonal enough as it was. Their different problems surely didn't make it any simpler, that much Beth had realized over time. Thankfully, she had a power that would make sure that no one came to harm if worst came to worst.

"I don't mind. Please stay as long as you need." After all, she didn't have any other kids coming in for another few hours. It was one of her most quiet days, and even if there had been more kids coming in, Beth wouldn't have minded pushing their session back a bit. After all, she wasn't about to rush the girl out of the room. At the very least, Beth wanted to give her all the time she needed to collect herself.

She deserved as much, after everything they'd uncovered lately. "How are you feeling?" she asked, her voice soft. She tilted her head so she could get a better look at the girl and offered her a warm smile. She hoped that Devyn would take her up on her offer and come talk to her if there was ever anything else bothering her, but she wasn't going to push her. Not unless she had to.

[Devyn Solway]

Devyn gave Beth a weak smile when the older woman assured her that she was welcome and added that she didn't mind how long Devyn stayed. It was good to hear that there was no rush to any of the process, it made her feel a little more relaxed. Less pressure. It was still a lot to get used to the fact that she actually cried in front of someone she didn't know all that well and just let some pain out. Yet, she was pleased that she did it. Even if she felt like crap now. At least she knew that she was going to sleep really good the next time she would lay down for a nap or to try and get actual sleep.

Dev was even starting to wonder if this woman be able to handle her letting out more of her pain. Not this time around, it was still too soon, and she was not certain about the matter. Such information she never told anyone, not even her father when it was going on. She did not feel ready to talk about her past just yet, but she felt like when and if she was ever ready; Beth would be the adult she would tell. "I still don't want to take too much of your time, plus I'm kind of hungry after all of that." Devyn pointed out.

While she didn't fully use her power, she had to fight to keep it in control and her power always made her feel a bit hungry after using it. Must have been because of the physical and mental strength it took to keep it in check that drained her of energy the food was great and replenishing. "Unless you wanted to get some food with me." Devyn suggested. She didn't mind getting a bite to eat with Beth, the woman was pretty cool, and attractive. At the question Devyn could not help but to let out a weak chuckle.

While it was true she was hungry and sleepy, there was a little bit more to what she was feeling. "I feel weak, like both physically and overall. For crying and being such a...I don't know. Just holding onto things that are out of my control I feel so stupid." Devyn responded.

[Beth Young]

Nodding in understanding, Beth smiled. "My door is always open for you, Devyn. That doesn't mean you have to come, nor does it mean you have to stay. It just means that if you ever need the option, it's there." If the girl wanted to leave, or stay, it was fine. Beth wasn't here to force her hand. She was here to help, whatever way the girl needed. It was obvious that Devyn was tired and they'd already come a long way with just one talk.

There was no need to rush anything.

"I just ate before you showed up," Beth smiled. Besides, it seemed as if Devyn needed some time alone to clear her mind. That was an important step to make, too. Allowing yourself time to think by yourself and make sense of it all.

"There's nothing weak about being emotional and crying. Think of it this way; You're brave enough to expose yourself instead of covering behind a shield or a wall. That's not weakness, Devyn. That's courageous and showing strength." No, Beth didn't think that Devyn was weak. She would never make such an assumption. Not now, not ever.

[Devyn Solway]

"Thanks, not sure if you are going to regret that later or not. I'm a pretty messed up kid but I try to handle most of it on my own." Devyn admitted as she tugged on her hair a little. She really did still feel bad about all of this and just so weak. How could people handle being upset and sensitive in such a way that they let it out all the time? Devyn could not understand it and knew that next time she needed to talk she would wait a little. It would not be an everyday sort of thing, because she was worried her body would not be able to take it. Wonder if Vera would feel cool talking to her? Devyn asked herself, of course thinking about how she could help out her friends.

She knew Zoe already had someone to talk to but Vera was stubborn like her so if Beth had been able to break through one of the walls with Dev, perhaps she would do the same for Vera. Dev kept that thought in the back of her mind to bring up to Vera the next time she and the girl would chat and the moment seemed right to suggest it. That was, if she remembered but she knew that at some point something would come up that would make it perfect to talk to Beth about. For now it was time for Dev to part ways so she could like her ego a tiny bit.

"Ah, darn. Next time then?" Devyn asked but she of course was not having it be a goal or anything. She knew how certain adults were with hanging out in relaxed situations with students. It had been touch and go trying with Tamara but in the end it worked out pretty well. Devyn listened to Beth's word, trying to believe in them but it was still hard to think that crying and being emotional was not weak. It just felt like it was impossible to seem like a badass if you were crying or being emotional over a situation. "Thanks...I'll try to start seeing it in that mindset." Devyn said with a nod as she stood up and made sure her uniform was all together before she headed for the door, only stopping to give Beth a wave.

"Thanks again. I hope you have a good day and...see you around soon." Devyn said with a smile before she would leave. She still felt a little off but overall she felt pretty good and for that she had Beth, Tamara, and a few others to thank for helping her just keep pushing through what hurt.

[Beth Young]

"You're not messed up." No one was. She was sad to find so many teenagers said such things about themselves. They problems didn't define them, after all. It might shape the way they lived and looked at themselves, but it didn't define them. Not really. Only you could define you - and the things that happened to you might have been part of it, sure, but it all came down to your own self-image - which sadly, many children lacked or had little confidence in.

Smiling, Beth nodded. "Perhaps." She wasn't about to promise the girl something she wasn't certain she could keep. That wasn't in any way right. "Good," she added with another smile. She was glad it seemed as if the girl was at the very least willing to try and eventually, she would be able to move forward and get on with her life. She would get nowhere if she kept wallowing in self-pity and sadness. It would eventually consume her whole. This was good. They were stepping in the right direction. The girl still had a long way to go, but Beth was certain that together, they could help her.

Offering the girl a wave in return, Beth's smile widened. "Likewise, Devyn. Take care, alright? And remember, my door is always open." As soon as the girl left, Beth returned to her work. Waking her laptop from its sleepmode, she scrolled through the various things she had planned for the day. Issuing a low, content smile, she couldn't quite keep the smile off of her lips.