Cool for Cats (Humphries)

[Humphries]

Ah, a phone! Just when Humphries thought this wouldn't get more interesting, the young man pulled his phone out! Humphries did have to wonder though: what would be more disorienting: a cat that texted you, or one that silently seemed to understand precisely what you said and acted in the exact way to purposefully unnerve you? He could feel his phone hacking Jack's while the other boy panicked.

Hmm, no, more fun would be having the young man chuck his phone. Because then Humphries could bat it around a bit, play with it. Oh, he could even use his paws to activate a few things! Wouldn't that be the most unnerving thing ever!

First though, Humphries needed to encourage it. So he started purring. Then he looked up at Jack, making sure to look directly into the young man's face. He tilted his head slightly to the side and let out another purr-tinged meow. Then he took another step forward, putting two paws into the "zen zone." And, to further freak, Humphries stretched, extending those paws and the claws, working them into the floor for a few seconds.

[Jack McCarthy]

You would think that if anything on God’s green earth would respect the concept of personal space would be a cat. Still this all but confirmed any and all felines, hated him with a passion. Sure, they laughed at him. They all were so amused when Jack proclaimed that all cats wanted him dead. They called him crazy, paranoid unstable even. Well who was laughing now? Who was unstable now? Who had the irrational fear now? Well, now Jack had proof that-

Shit, no one was here. Damn it.

That brought up another point actually, why was Jack still here? Why has he continued to stand his ground towards the cat instead of running off? Why the holy hell was he in clawing distance of this…this…cute adorable fur covered monster?! Well, what would running do? It’ll just hunt him down like a lion hunting it’s pray maybe if Jack stays as still as humanly possible the cat would soon get bored with the entire thing and scurry off to brutally murder innocent rabbits.

Jack did it without thinking, he saw Humperies stretch out and Jack panicked, and with what sounded like a cowardly high pitched moan and throw his phone aiming it at the cat “SELF DEFENCE! SELF DEFENSE” Jack screamed at the cat “You was going to leap forward, you were going to leap at my throat, I saw the murder in your eyes” Jack said his heart hammering in his chest but as he quickly calmed down, the full impact of what he did hit him “…Actually can I have that back? Because, I kind of need it for…Stuff, Human stuff”

[Humphries]

The human had lost it. No, that probably wasn't strictly true, as that assumed that he had it to begin with. Humphries would've chuckled were he still in his more human body, but as he was still embodying a body of feline perfection, he settled for a loud purr instead. The phone came whizzing at him and Humphries shifted to the side, batting at it. It hurt as he connected with his paw, enough that he might need to favor the limb for a bit. But his action had stopped the phone from breaking, not to mention landing it pretty well in his lap.

Humphries purred as he rubbed against it, then sat up. While Jack prattled about murder and then about wanting his stuff, Humphries began patting at the phone. This wasn't the curious play of a normal feline, oh no. Instead, Humphries shifted and purposefully bit the phone's power button, getting it to the right screen. Then he slid his nose across the lock, unlocking the phone. His paw began batting at things, pulling up coding and adding his own collar to it.

Then, he purposefully looked up at Jack and let out another of those purr-riddled meows, before shifting to lay down on the phone, quite purposefully covering it with his body.

[Jack McCarthy]

On a list of things he could have possibly done to fix the bizarre situation that he found himself in, chucking his phone at the feline was right smack down the very bottom of the list, sure there was the short term satisfaction of seeing the cat back off in pain at the cat backed off in pain, “Boom, Yeah! Suck on that!” Jack cried in victory before he realized that now there lied the problem about getting the phone back from the cat.

Was Jack concerned? Oh, just a little but not overly after all, it was a freaking cat. What could a cat do with a phone? Jack said making a dismissive signal with his hand “Piish. Yeah, go nuts flea bag. It’s not like you can turn it…” Oh, so that’s what exactly a cat can do..He stood corrected “Oh, Whoop-de-do you can turn on the phone it’s not like you can unlock, there’s like a million combination of what my password could be, it’s like im-“ Oh come on! What the hell was the deal with this cat?! Was it magic? Oh, shit he was dealing with not just a demon cat from hell he was dealing with a demon cat from hell who was a master of the black arts.

Jack just gritted his teeth and balled his hands into fists as he went to take a step forward but then rapidly backed away his fear of cats taking hold once more “I swear to God If I had my bat…Just..Just…Bad things, bad and painful things shall rain down apon you! I’ll come at you like slingshot of semen and you’ll receive me like a satchel of condoms” Jack said jabbing his finger in it’s face

Maybe Jack had been going about this the wrong way, he had been too forceful, too aggressive but maybe that was the wrong way to go about things, maybe he should try to use the carrot as oppose to the stick. It was time to get cerebral…

Jack leaned slowly down onto the ground and picked up the button that was lying on the floor “Ohhhh, look at this! Look what I have here, It’s a button, A shiny pretty little button, much better then a phone!” Jack said leaning forward toward Humphries “Ok, here’s the deal….I’ll give you the totally interesting and awesome button and all you have to do is give up the boring phone”

[Humphries]

Technically it was the device around Humphries' neck that hacked into the phone. It had been built to enable him to communicate with various humans, after all, and the savvy mutant who had constructed it for him had made certain to add the appropriate software to allow Humphries to hack into most basic security systems and bypass the more common defenses available. Hence why he was able to easily talk to people, so long as he got within his device's range, and hence why he sailed right past Jack's encryption without much work.

Though it should be noted that the cat did possess some hacking skills.
Which is likely the first time that sentence had ever been said with terrifying certainty.

Humphries readjusted himself once more, moving off the phone and looking toward the button for a moment. He took a step toward it, as if actually considering it, and looking at it. Humphries held the position for a while, then returned his attention back to Jack's phone. He began nosing about, knowing that to work better then his paws, pulling up contact lists and seeing who he could contact. Ah, who was Luxanna Viera and why did he have a complete call log of her? Most interesting.

Oh, he should definitely send a link to the Headmistress. Wouldn't that be enjoyable? Humphries began pawing, his purring sounding like nothing so much as a distantly starting chainsaw.

[Jack McCarthy]

Just Jack’s luck to run afowl of a cat that could hack into his phone. Just want he needed in his life. A tech savvy feline, that shouldn’t be a thing. Sure, maybe in Jack Mccarthy’s worse nightmares could such a combination of horrible ideas be a thing but in the light of day things like that should be banished to the back of the closet and under the bed where freaks like that belonged. What did Jack ever do to deserve being in a school where a cat on the security staff was normal?

He bet none of the other schools had to deal with this shit….

At first Jack thought he managed to actually arose the cat’s attention and had lured him into seemingly abandoning his phone. Of course once the cat had approached Jack and the button that was the moment Jack was going to race over to get the phone and pocket the button. At first Jack was just going to give him the button, but then he realized: It was pretty. HE wanted the button. Why couldn’t he have shiny things?

But then DAMN IT. He just went back to his phone “You’re a disgrace to your kind! Who can resist that….Ok, fine keep the phone I don’t even want it. Keep the phone see if I care.” Jack said turning his back and crossing his arms.

Yes he was actually trying to use reverse psychology on a cat

[Humphries]

Humphries heard Jack. He even paused for a moment when the young man insisted that he was disgrace to his kind. Had Humphries the ability to communicate with the young man at the time, he'd directly ask whether or not Jack was directly referring to mutant shifters or cats in general, both of which were technically "Humphries' kind." However, he was willing to bet that Mr. McCarthy really wasn't thinking clearly enough to provide a solid answer.

The young man was thinking clearly enough to attempt reverse psychology, however. Humphries shifted his posture, looking up at the pouting human. Surely Jack didn't think this would work? No, no, the human most likely believed that he was doing something quite clever here. Humphries rolled his eyes slightly, a feat for a cat, and then let out a loud, plaintive meow, wanting to get attention. He paused for a moment to input a quick message of greeting onto the phone, not to mention setting his collar as a contact, and then picked up the meowing again.

Once Humphries was quite sure that he had Jack's attention, he batted the phone toward the young man. Humphries then let out a meow and lowered himself as if ready to pounce. His tail flicked and his eyes went up to Jack, every inch of his posture suggesting quite loudly one thing:

do you want to play a game, Jack?

[Jack McCarthy]

God, this was just an altogether unpleasant and disagreeable situation all together. Also here was something that compounded the surrealness of it all: Where was everyone! Seriously did Jack just happen to come across the world’s most deserted corridor? Where was everyone? Was no one truly going to come along and witness this god damn cat messing with his head. Because that’s what he’s doing, confirming his suspicious of how evil these creatures truly were. Jack had been telling people that for years and more so ever since he had heard the cat was employed here but if Jack came to Erika and told her about this encounter,she would just laugh him out of her office.

Almost like Jack was untrustworthy- wonder what gave her that idea?

If Jack could he would have run away quite some time ago, but here’s the thing: He really needed his phone, like any self respecting seventeen year old he relived on his phone for a great many things and was quite frankly too cheap to buy a new one,

But it looked liked they managed to reach some understanding as it slid his phone over to him with his nose (Causing him to wince just a little fearing scratches) He looked from the phone back to the cat in mistrust, was this just a cunning trick by the cat? What could it possibly do to Jack? It wasn’t like The cat could instantly transfer some kind of cat illness to him this way….right? Shit was that a thing?

“Ok, Ok, Ok…” Jack said pointing a finger at the cat in what he hoped was in a threatening manner but failing miserably “Here’s what going to happen. I’m going to lean forward and grab my phone. I’m TRUSTING you not to attack ok? This is a contract of trust between us. Ok, here we go…” Jack said ever so slowly leaning down and grabbing his phone quickly and looking at it. Making a mental note to wsh his hands as soon as he possibly could

[Humphries]

The cat stared up at the boy, waiting patiently, still purring, though making sure to do so softly enough that it shouldn't be all that audible, even if Jack were paying close attention to such things. The cat watched Jack carefully, watched the finger as it jutted toward him, watched as the lips moved. He heard the words too, prattle about how Humphries shouldn't attack or anything.

Because that was going to happen.

Humphries waited till Jack reached, then very playfully and in the most kittenish fashion he could manage, he reached out and batted at the extended hand. No claws, nothing that could hurt, just a soft cat paw connecting with Jack's hand for a few seconds. Humphries actually felt a slight surge of joy at the sensation, feeling like he had, in fact, just succeeded in unnerving the young man slightly.

The cat knew better than to hold still though. He danced out of the way as soon as his paw touched the human, arching his back and moving in a very feline manner. He would then twist and turn, his collar sending the message straight to Jack's phone:

my name is humphries. i shall be looking intently at you. with much frequent.