Be Not So Sorry (Adelaide)

[Natalie Laurent]

One of the many reasons Natalie loved her job so much was because of all the different kids she got to know. It was so much more giving on her part to know that these people wanted (Not always) and needed her help, and that was what she had spent her entire (Not so long) career trying to do. Sure, there were a few harder cases than others, especially the ones who completely refused to let her in, but she didn't mind. She was determined not to give up on anyone, even if it meant them ending up hating her.

Crossing her feet, Natalie leaned over the desk with her elbows planted firmly against the wooden surface and her eyes lit up as Adelaide entered the room, ''Morning, Ms. McLisk,'' Natalie chirped cheerfully and greeted the girl with a energetic smile.

If Natalie hadn't known any better, she would probably greet every student with a talking puppet and a box filled with crayons; But she really doubted the teenagers would enjoy being babied, and even how much it hurt her deep down inside, she had to keep herself on a leash and rather think about what her 'patients' preferred, rather than her own views on what was a successful session.

''How are you feeling today?'' Natalie asked as she shifted her position.

[Adelaide McLisk]

It's probably best that Add wasn't greeted with a puppet. Puppets in general confused her, since they were so obviously controlled by humans. Cartoons were bad enough, with their obviously human voices and the like. She'd been spoiling talking animal and talking baby cartoons for ages now. But puppets? Puppets were the stupidest thing Add had ever experienced.

Though she did think that talking to someone who was roughly the same age as her also qualified. She was half tempted to point out that Ms. Laurent should probably have gotten a doctorate in psychology if she was going to be talking to people seriously about their various issues, but she had already decided that it would probably serve her better to be at least a little polite during these meetings. She watched the other woman carefully, her mind logging away probabilities in rapid succession. She spent several long seconds more or less staring at Ms. Laurent, then looked around the room. The more data she got, the more Add could deduce, and Ms. Laurent gave away quite a bit.

"I am alive, content, and have not abused my power in over a week," she said, looking at Ms. Laurent. Add practically recited the answer, obviously having grown used to dealing with these type of things. She narrowed her eyes at Ms. Laurent, studying her intently. "I think we had history together," she said, pursing her lips for a moment. "Yes, I believe we did..."

[Natalie Laurent]

Nodding slowly at Adelaide's words, Natalie's eyes never strayed away from hers. ''I'm glad to hear it,'' Natalie nodded again. Well, at least she wasn't trying to kill herself or someone else. Like that one kid. The girl was odd, sure enough, but that was exactly why Natalie was starting to like her. Adelaide's next question had Natalie grinning, tapping her finger against the tip of her chin as if she was giving it a thought, ''You might be right, though I have to admit I didn't pay much attention to my classmates at that time. I was far too focused on my studies,'' she admitted with a sheepish smirk before pulling out a notepad and a pen.

If the girl had any ulterior meaning behind her words, it went right past Natalie. Which was kind of ironic as she was supposed to pick up things like that.

''Is there anything specific you'd like to talk about? Or do you want me to choose?'' Natalie believed in freely letting the children or teenagers, or in this case, adult pick the topic of discussion. She didn't think forcing them to talk was the right way to go, at least not in this case. Sometimes she had to force forth a subject and then use her powers, but in her opinion, it was more like cheating than actually helping someone.

Creating a bond, whether it was trust, friendship or just finding common ground was one of the most important factors. She couldn't work with someone who didn't trust her to help them, unless that trust could be created.

[Adelaide McLisk]

"I find that most people didn't," said Add. She then paused for a moment before adding: "or don't."

She did wonder about someone who dealt with other people in a manner like this but admitted to being more focused on their studies. Shouldn't someone who was focused on people like this have been focused on them? Then again, perhaps Ms. Laurent had gotten more interested in that later on in life. It was rather rash to just assume that someone had to think a certain way; there were ever so many probabilities.

Specific to talk about? Add blinked at that. "I am curious as to your qualifications for this particular line of work. I am assuming that you are a mutant, likely one with empathy, telepathy, or some other similar power, which is certainly an excellent qualification to have, but what sort of training have you undergone that makes you qualified to counsel people such as myself?"

What? It was something to talk about. Sure, they were supposed to talk about Add, but she also knew that these types liked to establish bonds and the like. Add figured that she'd be more comfortable when she knew what was going on in the other girl's mind and that the other girl would feel more comfortable when Add felt more comfortable. This is the great circle of therapy.

[Natalie Laurent]

Natalie had to bite her tongue to prevent herself from asking 'And how does that make you feel?'. It was far too cliche, and somehow, she didn't think it would go too well with the other girl. Instead, she offered her an apologetic smile and let a huff escape her lips, ''I know the feeling. I'm actually kind of surprised you even remembered me,'' she said and shook her head.

Taken a back at the girl's words, Natalie brows furrowed before she opened her mouth to speak, but once again bit her tongue. She wanted to give the words time to mold in her brain before answering, ''Well, I've always loved to help people, even from an early age. But I think it's was during high school I finally decided what I wanted to do; Counseling. So, I studied hard, made sure I got the best grades I could, and once high school was over, I studied psychology for four years, got a degree, a teaching endorsement, and then another two years before I had my guidance counseling degree and a job here. I've been in this job for about a year now. As for my power, I do have something that makes it easier, yes, but it's not something I prefer using if I don't have to,'' Natalie said with a smile before sighing. Ah, thinking back always made her nostalgic. The good kind, of course.

''I have visual telepathy and mind walking as my power, but don't worry. I have to actually touch you for it to work, and I won't use it to dig through your head without your permission,'' Natalie promised with another smile. She hoped this would help the other girl trust her, and she didn't really mind talking about herself. Even if they were supposed to talk about Adelaide, it was important that she felt comfortable, and if that meant spending an entire session talking about things that wasn't related to the reason they were here, so be it.

Natalie had all the time in the world. ''Is there anything else you'd like to know?''

[Adelaide McLisk]

The stream of data Ms. Laurent provided actually made Add feel a lot more comfortable. So many probabilities lined up in just a few sentences. She also felt a good deal more confident in the other's ability to actually help her, despite the fact that they were the same age. Add herself likely would have been as accomplished if she'd focused more. what she had focused on hadn't yielded quite as admirable results, if you discarded the millions of dollars she'd attempted to donate to the school. But everything Ms. Laurent said made it that much easier for Add to understand her, and to begin predicting her reactions.

Do not attempt to manipulate her though; she is here to help you, not the other way around. "I believe that is sufficient for now," said Add, nodding curtly. She folded her hands in her lap and paused for a few moments, mostly mentally running through figures. Her eyes remained on Ms. Laurent all the while, a hint of calculation within them. "I suppose we had better focus on the purpose of these sessions, which I believe is to rehabilitate me following my," Add paused to recall the exact wording: "gross misuse of power and ability."

she paused again, thinking. She blinked a time or two, but there weren't many other actions before she said: "Which I must confess I still do not understand. I wanted to help the school using my gift; I did so, but now I am here, under watch," Add pursed her lips for a moment, irritation, a real human emotion linking through. That was illogical though, so she needed to struggle and put that one down.

[Natalie Laurent]

Nodding, content with the fact that it seemed as if her words had put Adelaide to ease. It wasn't uncommon that people were sceptical to her ability to help, as she was still fairly young and hadn't been in the job for a whole lot of time. But, it was always good to see and experience people growing more comfortable with her, even if it meant spending several hours building up a kind of bond or connection, or even trust. Natalie would have been nowhere without people trusting her, and she didn't mind telling her entire life story if she had to.

Adelaide's choice of words had Natalie scrunching her brows, ''Gross? Now, I wouldn't use that word. Honestly, it's perfectly understandable that someone with a gift such as yours would use it for certain things, even if it's not the right thing to do.'' It was wrong to tell someone that what they did were wrong when the intent was good; Sure, there were lines that shouldn't be crossed, but at least the girl had meant well, or so she claimed herself. It was like telling a young kid that running around naked is the wrong thing to do, because really, it isn't. At least not in that sense. In cases like that, one were supposed to tell the kid to be naked in a more private environment, rather than out public. Natalie had seen several cases where someone had been told that doing perfectly harmless things were wrong, and then it came back to bite them in the ass by providing the child low self-esteem issues.

ANYWAYS. ''I think the issue is more or less the fact that by using your power to win, you have an unfair advantage. It doesn't matter if the cause or the reason behind it is right or wrong, it's still unfair to the other participants who don't have the same advantage as yourself.'' Natalie paused and offered the girl a smile, ''But I do understand how frustrating it must be to have the ability to maybe make things easier or better for yourself or others, and not being allowed to use it that way. I probably would have too.''

[Adelaide McLisk]

"Your training is telling you to say that," it wasn't a question, "and you're likely thinking that it's a natural inclination but that it should be curbed. If my power were more destructive or obvious, if I had, say vaporized a small crowd of people because I believe that it was what needed to be done, you might still say that," Add paused for a moment, considering. "No, you wouldn't; that would make you nervous and you would be blurting out that it was horrible even though your training says that you should be even keeled with whomever is speaking with you, so as not to upset them. Which is also why you insist on not using your ability without permission, because you believe it violates rights."

The issue was that things were unfair? Add supposed it was, to some degree. That was certainly the issue in perhaps the broader spectrum of things. "It's more because we can't have mutants abusing their powers, despite the reasons, isn't it? Though the school confiscated my winnings anyway, so I accomplished my goals in the long term. And no," said Add, locking eyes with Ms. Laurent. "You wouldn't use your power like that; that's your training telling you to say the right thing again. If you believed that, you would enter my mind right now and attempt to find out what is making me so odd and fix that, but again: you don't," Add paused for a moment, considering Ms. Laurent. So many variables lining up. Such an interesting puzzle presented there: a woman who had training and heart and wanted to do good, even had the power, literally, to do so. How very intriguing.

[Natalie Laurent]

''But that's just it, though. Your power isn't more destructive or obvious, which makes that statement invalid.'' she said bluntly, though added a smile to her lips before continuing, ''We could spend the entire day talking about hypothesis, and what could have been; But that doesn't change the fact that it isn't, and thus is not a problem that needs addressing.'' Pursing her lips, Natalie ran her hand through her hair, twisting a strand of it around her index finger before nodding, ''I find it interesting that you put it like that. You make it seem like you have very little faith in other people, whether it's by experience or opinion; I don't blame people for the power they are given or for what actions that follows with it. Sure, the ability itself might make me nervous and at times, maybe I do not know what to say or handle it, but I wouldn't call the ability or the person holding it horrible. We might be mutants, but we are still humans, and as such, we make mistakes and make the wrong choices for the right reasons.'' pausing, Natalie smiled, ''Well, yes, I don't use my power because of it, but that's only my personal opinion. Again, that doesn't make me a better person, or the right to call my power good.''


She had to admit, the girl was surprising her more and more by the second, though in the good form of the label, ''You're right, but again, using your power to gain a form of advantage is too a form of abusing,'' she pointed out silently, watching the girl carefully as she spoke. She was truly interesting, ''Actually, you're wrong. I don't believe entering your mind without your permission would solve anything. Maybe I would find the so-called issue, but that doesn't mean it will fix anything. I rather think me forcing you into such a position would cause more harm than good,'' she said with a faint sigh, ''And it surely wouldn't make things easier for either of us,'' she said with a faint chuckle, giving the girl a little wink.

[Adelaide McLisk]

Add was willing to set aside potential hypotheses regarding imaginary scenarios momentarily aside. Sure, her brain was still feeding her a near constant stream of them, since that was pretty much how Add's mind worked, but she did agree that bringing them up wouldn't really help the matter they were there to work on. She was, however, struck by the idea that she didn't seem to have much faith in people. Add supposed she just expected people to follow their probabilities and to occasionally defy them. She didn't see that as having faith in them one way or the other, so she just dismissed that. As far as people, it sounded like she and Ms. Laurent were somewhat in agreement there.

Interesting what Ms. Laurent said later though. Add watched her carefully, sorting through the math and the words. "You've done it before, or thought about it," said Add, again not as a question, "entering someone's brain, but you've convinced yourself it wouldn't help," Add paused again. "That strikes me as being incorrect. Were you to enter my mind, you would know precisely what I think and how I reason. My ability is located mostly in my thoughts, after all, which is why I unnerve most telepaths."

Add paused again, this time looking away from Ms. Laurent. She studied the office again, glad at least that there wasn't much here that could really distract her. The last thing Add needed was to go into another of her little "math comas." She kept her attention on Ms. Laurent though, considering what the other had said and still had to say. "You're very well trained," she said. It sounded almost like comparing Ms. Laurent to a dog, but Add meant it as a compliment, at least. That had to count for something.

[Natalie Laurent]

''Of course I have. I had to train my ability somehow,'' she said with faint smirk. Everyone had to use their abilities at some point, whether it was simply for training or other reasons. It was sort of hard to avoid, ''Yes-'' Natalie began and shrugged, ''But that doesn't mean it would help.'' she said again, ''If I used my ability on you either by force and against your will, or with your permission, it would still be the easier way out, and the easy way out is rarely the correct one,'' If Natalie could avoid using her power as much as possible, she would.

Assuming the girl was speaking about her power training, Natalie responded with a smile, nodding slightly as if agreeing. From what Natalie could see, Adelaide's power had merged so well with her personality, it had more or less become her. She seemed to calculate everything, not only probability itself, but also everything around her. Whether or not that was a good or a bad thing was yet to be decided.

''Does it frustrate you? Having such a gift as yours without being allowed to use it for the purposes you want?''

[Adelaide McLisk]

Add wasn't sure she agreed with Ms. Laurent's statement. It sounded rather silly to her, at least on the surface. It all came down to how effective something was, not how easy or difficult. Sometimes the easiest method of doing something was also the most effective; other times, it took much more work. This again struck Add as being a rather didactic line of thought, however, so she was disinclined to continue it for fear of befuddling the discussion and lengthening the session (or sessions) longer than was strictly necessary.

They did seem to be an agreement regarding Ms. Laurent's training, which pleased Add quite well. She even relaxed a little, pressing her back against the chair's back and aligning herself more properly there.

Then came a question that left Add perplexed. She frowned, blinking a few times as she tried to sort through what Ms. Laurent was asking of her. "I do not understand. I cannot not use my power; it sort of happens. My training was more a matter of honing it." She paused for a moment, seeming to mentally sort through the various words again. "But I suppose that the simple answer would be yes, it does frustrate me." Add nodded, feeling confident in that answer. She was fairly certain that Ms. Laurent was going to follow that up with something more, but she was planning on waiting and seeing what happened.

[Natalie Laurent]

''Ah, I see. As you can understand, I'm not a power expert, but that is interesting. So it's a power you can't turn off and on?'' she asked, pursing her lips before continuing, ''Is there other ways for you to use it, that doesn't require you to get an advantage in a situation, like the contest?'' she asked again. If the girl could use her power in ways that didn't count as cheating or abusing it, maybe that would end up being a good outlet for her frustration? Surely, even with a power she could turn off and on, Natalie could relate. There had been times she wanted to give in and simply use her powers to figure out a problem, but her morals had taught her not to.

But it was different with a power one couldn't turn off. The lingering thought at the back of your mind, possibly making people afraid of human interaction. She had seen cases where people had been afraid of touching others, or even being close to them because their powers had such a horrible effect on others. It had to be painful and immensely frustrating, and more so; Lonely.

''Do you feel connected to other people?''

[Adelaide McLisk]

Add nodded. Her power was one of those latent ones that simply worked at all times, much like regeneration or some versions of super strength. Most of the mutants knew about those with powers like Add's, though most didn't stop to think that much about them. They weren't exactly a majority, though Add had been crunching numbers and discovered that there was an increasing amount of those that showed mutant characteristics almost too visibly. Strange, that, and it made Add wonder about how mutations worked.

So yet again Add had to mentally remind herself that she was supposed to be focusing on the current situation, namely this whole talking about her and her situation. Ms. Laurent made a suggestion, and Add considered it at length before saying: "I have utilized my power to help others in the past. It has been suggested that I should not do that though, because," she paused, again recalling exact words: "'people are not problems or equations, they are people,'" she nodded, not so much in agreement, but in satisfaction of getting it right.

Which made Ms. Laurent's question all the more interesting to Add. "That is a most interesting question. I suppose I do feel some connection to people, as I am a member of the human species," yes, that struck Add as being a perfectly acceptable answer. She nodded, feeling ratified in her statement.