The public test

[Annalise Jackson]

I had been days since her slip at work, and days since she'd run into another mutant at the park. Since than, Anna had been experimenting. Her slip had been enough to bring reality crashing down around her ears. She wasn't normal, and no matter how hard she tried she wasn't going to be. There would be slip ups, headaches, and thought invasion, and she had to face that. Having a melt down and panic attack every single time it happened was a terrifying thought, and she had to do something about it.

Her best guess was a form of exposure therapy. Find some places quiet, without to much hyper action, settle in, and do something, anything, as a task for herself. Today was the first actual public test, and she'd chosen the coffee spot quite carefully. It wasn't to busy, and, generally, the people inside were either talking quietly, or they were to busy on their various devices to be much of a bother to anyone.

So there she was, settled into one of the over-sized chairs in a corner, a back to her wall and the room laid out before her. Cupped in both hands was a rather large cup of steaming coffee, and balanced on her legs, which were covered in a pair of tight black leggings and curled up on the seat with her, was her laptop. So far she'd managed to get through half the cup of coffee, and even do a bit of online shopping, without any serious issues.

The thoughts were there, of course, and occasionally something amusing would pop up from somewhere, but she hadn't become overwhelmed. The test results thus far were promising..and highly encouraging. It was enough to bring a small smile to her lips, a look she didn't bother pushing aside for the time being as she lifted the cup to her mouth once more, peering over its lip to glance around the room.

Anna was dressed simply enough, in an oversized deep purple knit sweater, it's neck folded over several times an laying loosely about her shoulders, black leggings, and a simple pair of black flats. She'd done nothing really with her hair, aside from pulling it up at the back of her head. All around she looked relaxed, which was saying something when it comes to Annalise Jackson.

Post meant for Nikolai Volkov

[Nikolai Volkov]

Over the years Nikolai had been in Kalispell, Cool Beans had become something of a favorite of his. The first time he had ever gone, his height and appearance had been meant with awe and fear. Nowadays though, he was a regular sight in the place. He even knew most of the employees by name now. They also knew his typical order of coffee by now, so half the time he didn't even have to say it. He just had to go up and pay for it.

Which was what he did now, waiting patiently to the side for his coffee while reading the book he had in hand. He couldn't remember who recommended Steelheart to him, but it was a pretty good read. He would probably finish it in a day or so though. Especially since it was his day off. Once his coffee came out he grabbed it and thanked the worker before shutting his book slightly and looking around. It was then that he recognized one of the people, and he just had to walk over to at least say hi to Annalise.

"Anna! Hello." He greeted, giving her a warm and friendly smile. "I don't mean to interrupt, but I just wanted to ask how you were feeling." He said. She seemed far better than the first time they met, but Nikolai was still a tad concerned for her. He had not forgotten her at all, and had actually been worried enough to ask some of the other workers how Anna had been during the span between seeing her again.

[Annalise Jackson]

Ann saw him the second he walked inside. Of course, people across the street saw him when he walked into a place. Also, there was a shirt draped over a kitchen table that smelled like him, and it had been her main source of distraction for days now. It sounded far more weirdly obsessive than it was, and that thought alone made her frown. She had meant to get the shirt back to the guy, but she'd been so apprehensive about approaching him again, she'd simply left it where it was in her apartment. Now, however, as she peered silently over the rim of her cup she did her best not to look like she was staring at him, which she was, of course.

When he turned, she looked down, and narrowed her eyes intently on the computer screen, doing her best not to choke on her coffee. It wouldn't do to have a second encounter with him by choking to death on what she was drinking. She'd already made an ass out of herself the last time. Why in all the nine hells he'd been in her head since than she wasn't quite willing to look at to closely, and she sure as hell wasn't going to start that contemplation with a greeting in the middle of a public venue to someone who barely knew her.

He had different thoughts, apparently, when he said her name loudly and her head popped up almost to quickly. She blinked at him, before lowering her cup of coffee, which was now practically empty, and managing a small smile and nod of her head.

"Hey Nikolai." She couldn't help but feel a bit awkward. She'd always been straight forward and to the point, to a point where people tended to think her loud mouthed and rude, but she hadn't spoken to anyone in a friendly, calm manner in some time. Much less someone who had been stuck in her head for days. "Yeah...I'm okay. Just..." she shrugged. She wasn't sure how to explain it to him, but she was also not quite willing to spill the beans yet. Regardless of her comfort level at the time. There were, after all, still people, even in the city, that didn't particularly like those like her, and she wasn't quite willing to deal with that just yet. "I meant to say thank you...I mean I -did- say thank you, I meant to say it again..."

This was coming out weird, and it made her stop with a sharp frown. "What I mean is, not everyone stops to help someone, and I appreciated it. Also...I still have your shirt.."

[Nikolai Volkov]

Annalise seemed a little startled when Nikolai came over, or at least a little nervous. Although she did smile, which Nikolai easily returned with a wider one of his own as she greeted him. Up close she certainly seemed calmer, although still a tad awkward. Still, she seemed to be fine talking with him, and apparently she was alright. Although there seemed to be a bit more too it, but Nikolai didn't push. "I'm glad." He said sincerely with a kind smile before motioning to the other chair. "May I sit?" He asked politely.

Nikolai looked a little surprised as she went on, thanking him again. She stopped halfway through through, frowning before trying again. Nikolai had to chuckle a bit and shake his head. "I'm glad I could be of help. As for my shirt, it's alright. There's no rush; just return it whenever you can. I have more." He said, taking a sip of his coffee. Since she seemed a tad more talkative, Nikolai wanted to speak with her a bit more.

"You mentioned you went to school here before. May I ask what school?" Nikolai questioned.

[Annalise Jackson]

Anna glanced at the chair he was waving at, before nodding her head several times slowly. "Yeah, of course." Since she was going to have company on her little test excursion, she lifted a hand and shut her laptop, gently leaning over and setting it on the nearby table out of the way. Instead she curled her hands fully around the cup and settled back into her seat.

Yes, it was awkward. Horridly awkward, which was unfortunate. She'd not opened up in any way to a single person in over ten years, much less sat and had coffee. Even the girls and MEghan's club had eventually stopped inviting her out. She'd been a shut in for so long, quietly living her day to day life, and than hastily retreating behind her locked doors so as to avoid any social interaction.

"Well I'll bring it to work." She nodded slowly, eyeing her nearly empty cup, before balancing it on the top of one of her thighs, her eyes darting around the room out of habit, before settling on Nikolai entirely. She had been about to say more when he asked his question, and it caused her to snap her mouth closed very suddenly.

Even her body went still, and she simply stared at him, as if she wasn't so sure about how to answer that. Not even Meghan had been told about what she could do. The old woman had lived, and died, harboring a shut in, without understanding why she was a shut in. Telling him what school she went to broke through that one serious internal secret that no one else had been told nearly her entire life, not counting the people at the school whom had dealt with her from the ages of twelve to eighteen.

"I..." She finally said, taking a very deep breath and letting it out very slowly. Her eyes darted away, becoming focused on the bottom of her cup, her fingers holding tightly as she chewed at her bottom lip for several more silent seconds. "..I went to Bellefonte..." She finally said, her solid breath exhaling completely as if she were deflating, giving in, her eyes looking around the room...literally anywhere but straight at him.

[Nikolai Volkov]

When Anna indicated she could sit, Nikolai gladly took the seat and flashed her a smile as he put his book and coffee down on the table. "Thank you." He said politely. She closed her laptop and looked around before settling on her cup as Nikolai sipped some more of his coffee. She said she would bring his shirt to him at work, and Nikolai nodded with a smile. "That would be fine. Thank you." He said, her eyes now on him.

However, then something went wrong as her entire body seemed to freeze up. Nikolai instantly felt bad as she seemed to go through lockdown almost. "I'm sorry if I overstepped myself...." He started, but then stopped as Anna started talking. She had to gather herself and stare at her cup while chewing her bottom lip for a while before finally finishing.

Bellefonte.

Nikolai blinked as she looked anywhere but at him. Instantly he knew why she had frozen up. His expression softened considerably and he only nodded a little. "I see." He said gently, smiling a little and keeping his voice calm and without judgement. Truly, he didn't care she was a mutant. He'd had to work along side a few back home, and met one of the students from the school before. "I knew a boy from there. He was very nice, and wanted to be a detective." He stated, remembering for a moment before looking at Anna silently for a bit.

"Did you... like it there? I'm sorry if that's personal. In that case you don't have to answer." He assured.

[Annalise Jackson]

Anna couldn't help but hold her breath as she spoke up, her eyes still studying some random locations around the room. A picture on the wall, a cup on the counter, an overflowing garbage can. He said something, and it drew her attention from across the room, towards him instead. His response made her breath again, and she seemed to finally relax once more.

Once she managed to begin breathing regularly again, she even smiled, an absent minded sort of look. Today was going much better than she had expected it to. First she managed to get through an entire cup of coffe, in a fully public setting, without needing to run home and lock the door behind her. Now here she was, sitting there, having a conversation, with someone whom actually knew about her. Well..knew what she was. She'd chalk this up to a win in her book, even if it all went down hill from there.

"Uhm..no..it's okay." she answered immediately, smiling at him before picking at the rim of her cup, though she left it balanced on her thigh as she did so. "I guess I don't really have a good answer for that. I don't actually go out. so..." She rolled her shoulders slowly in a shrug, her head tipping to the side as she studied him quietly for a moment. "It's weird being back, I guess....everything has changed so much."

Running her tongue across her lips, Annalise finally lifted her cup, swallowed the last mouthful, and set the now empty cup to the side, before lacing her fingers together and settling her hands in her lap.

"And you...?" She asked. "I mean, I can tell you're not from around here...so why Kalispell?"

She'd pat herself on the back, if she didn't think it'd be a weird action. It was like the longer she spoke to him, the more relaxed she became, and it was beginning to remind her how much she liked being able to just talk to people.

[Nikolai Volkov]

She kept looking everywhere but him, and Nikolai felt worse for asking the question. However, she did seem to relax after he mentioned Robyn. She probably had been afraid he would've reacted badly hearing she was a mutant. That did make him upset, but not at her. However, he focused back on Annalise as she smiled a bit and answered him.

Nikolai listened as she spoke, sipping his coffee and smiling at her a little. "I can understand that. I've only been here four years, yet so much has changed it seems." He agreed. Really, the town had bloomed with the reveal of mutants, and now tourists came in droves it appeared. But then Anna put her cup down and was asking him about himself. Normally Nikolai was a bit iffy about talking about himself, but considering the question he had just asked her, it was only fair. Besides, this one was harmless.

"That's right. I'm from Russia originally." He confirmed with a chuckle. "As for why Kalispell; it was quiet and out of the way. I'm not much one for big cities or so." He admitted with a shrug. "And you? Can I ask why you returned?" He asked curiously and calmly, treading a bit more lightly.

[Annalise Jackson]

Anna seemed to breath easier, at least for the moment. Relaxing, for Anna, was a confusing and complicated aspect. For most people it was simple. Take a breath, stop worrying, relax. For anna it was a contemplation of who was around, if she relaxed to much would her control slip, could she handle a slip..

when he began speaking, she seemed a bit more comfortable than when she was faced having to supply her own information, she even managed a smalls mile, as she plucked idly at the knit of her sweater. Nodding slowly, she gave him a small smile, before rolling a shoulder.

"Not so little anymore. I mean if you don't like cities, it's sort of ...well a city." she actually laughed gently at her last words, before clearing her throat and cutting the sound short at his question, her eyebrows coming up high. she didn't seem so apprehensive to answer this one, though it did take her a moment to decide where to begin. "Well..someone very close to me died, and she spent a long time trying to convince me to face what I am....Well she never really knew...what I am, she meant my family. I don't have one of those anymore.." she paused as she frowned thoughtfully, her eyes drifting around the room as she took a steadying breath. "This was the only place on earth I've ever been accepted. With the people at the school coming out, and living here....I thought maybe it was where I could find it."

She didn't explain what she meant by "it". Be it family, acceptance, or something more, it just drifted. The answer had been far more heavy than she'd meant it to be, but he had an odd way of relaxing her by just being there. Like back at work, when he'd guided her out and her panic attack had all but ceased when it was just her and him in the cold air. Either way, it wasn't something she wanted to dwell on.

[Nikolai Volkov]

As their conversation went on, Anna seemed to be getting more and more relaxed; which was a relief to see. She even managed a small smile, which Nikolai returned with a soft one of his own. She rolled a shoulder before speaking, and she even laughed at one point, which made Nikolai's smile widen even further "No, not so little." He agreed with a chuckle. "But I've grown fond of it, so here I'll stay." He really had, considering he didn't want to stay back home in Russia. However, there were still far too many ghosts there.

 He silenced as she answered his next inquiry. Initially Nikolai had been afraid he had gone too far, but she still spoke. His sympathy grew when she mentioned losing someone, The image of Nikolai's own brother floating to the forefront of his mind. He payed attention again though as she continued. At the end of it all, Nikolai smiled softly and gave a nod. "That makes sense. Kalispell seems very nice. I hope you find what it is you're looking for, whatever it is." He said sincerely. He did not ask about her family, noticing there seemed to be a bit more to that part of her.

[Annalise Jackson]

"I don't even know what I'm looking for." she mumbled softly, lifting a hand and running it across the top of her head, before she gave a shake to it and managed a small smile towards him. "Anyway. I'm sure you have about a million things you can be doing better than sitting here hearing my sob story."

Unfolding her legs from beneath her, she allowed them to hang off the seat, her feet on the ground as she folded her hands within her lap. For a moment she was quiet. She could keep asking about him, or talk about herself, but it all seemed a little ridiculous. This guy had come over to check on her, to make sure, after her absolutely crazy episode the other day, she had not somehow become even more crazy. He wasn't here to get to know her.

She'd often laughed to herself at the girls at the club, when a male showed them attention they would fawn all over themselves. This one must love them, that one wanted them. It had all seemed ridiculous to her, all of it. Now she found herself falling into the same hole. Just because a male was showing her attention did not mean she had a sudden need to be with someone. To open up to them. Aside from this, there was the fact that, aside from his overly helpful nature, Anna knew nothing about him. He wasn't exactly an emotionally revealing individual, at least not from what she'd seen.

Oh lord what was she doing? She was overthingking the whole thing, exactly as she had been doing the night he'd dropped her off at her apartment, and she'd literally sniffed his shirt like some kind of hormonal teenager. That thought brought up a very sudden faint blush over her cheeks, which she covered up with a heavy cough and shoved herself to her feet.

"Coffee." She blinked when all she managed was a single word, before frowning and rolling her eyes at her own weirdly, and suddenly, awkward habbits. Was it going to be like this everytime she was around someone, or was Nikolai just going to make her feel like a bumbling teenager every time? "I mean..I'm going to go get another cup of coffee." The blush on her cheeks heightened, and she cleared her throat, rushing around her own chair and towards the counter, her head in her hand.

[Nikolai Volkov]

Although she mumbled he caught what she said, and he could honestly sympathize from when he first came to Kalispell. However, her next words caught his attention and made him shake his head. "It's my day off, and I'm happy to chat with you, Anna. Unless I'm bothering you." He said, which could be a possibility. Nikolai had no clue of the woman before him other than the fact she was a mutant and was relatively quiet.

And apparently she had thought of something to make her blush, which actually was quite cute. She coughed and stood though, stating 'coffee' before frowning and rolling her eyes at herself. He lengthened out the explanation more, but Nikolai had gotten the gist of it and smiled, nodding. "Alright." He said simply enough before she blushed harder and hurried away. He had no idea why she was so nervous, but everyone had different personalities, he supposed. He was genuinely enjoying chatting to her though, and learning more about the shy woman made Nikolai happy. She seemed very interesting, and Nikolai couldn't help but wonder what her full story was.

[Annalise Jackson]

Anna stood at the counter for damn near two full minutes before finally ordering another coffee. She couldn't help it, since the moment she got there she was assaulted by the cashier's thoughts. Whining about her boyfriend, and how he wouldn't text her. It made her head hurt, and for a moment she just stood there and eyed the female. When she got an odd look in return, Anna finally blinked and hastily ordered the coffee. Taking the time that she had to wait for the cup to calm herself, she focused on settling her thoughts over the others.

Than it struck her. In the entire time Nikolai had been sitting there, she hadn't once had to force a door to close, wasn't bothered by the constant hum of thoughts. Blinking out of this revalation, she shoved it to the side, smiled tightly at the whiny lady behind the counter, and paid for her coffee, before turning and moving back to her seat. Once more settled into her over sized chair, she settled in comfortably and took a slow breath, hands cupped around her coffee now.

"So, Nikolai." she finally spoke, her eyes darting around the room, before they settled on him once more. "You're not bothering me...." She finally replied to what he'd said before she had gotten up. "Uhm...how long have you worked at the club?"

Small talk never had been her thing. Not that she was disliking the current questioning. Getting to know him was considerably better than the alternatives.

[Nikolai Volkov]

While Anna had gone up to get her coffee, Nikolai had opened his book to read a little more before she came back. It was a pretty interesting read, even though he figured he would finish it soon. He took another sip of his coffee before Anna returned and he flashed her a friendly smile, saving his place and shutting it. She spoke up, pausing to look around a moment before assuring him he wasn't a bother. He smiled at that, and then considered her question.

"Hmmm.... 4 or so years now, I believe. I found Kalispell very soon after I came from Russia. Once I came, I liked it for it's quite, as you know. I grew fond of my job and stayed." He said with a shrug and a soft smile. "The people working there are good people. I hope you like them." He said, glancing up and meeting her eyes with a kind and warm expression.

[Annalise Jackson]

Wake Me Up

When it's all over.

Anna settled more comfortably in her seat, her fingers tucking an errant curl of white behind an ear, before she shrugged one of her shoulders in response to what he said. Before she could respond, however, she lifted her gaze from her study of the table in front of her, to catch his eye. For a very brief moment she just sat there, looking at him, her fingers once more curling around the heated cup of coffee she was nursing and had yet to take a drink from.

"I don't really know any of them." She cleared her throat and pulled her eyes away purposefully staring off in a random direction across the room. She felt like some ragged hormonal teenager, which was not something she experienced very often...or..more accurately, felt ever. It was throwing her off a bit. "I'm sure they're perfectly wonderful people."

She didn't mean to sound distant, but everything going on in her head was beginning to worry her. Her fight or flight was triggering, and every fiber of her wanted to make an excuse, stand up, and walk out the front door. She'd kept herself locked away from the world for to long, and now that someone was paying attention to her she was blowing it out of perspective, obsessing over it. A lack of social interaction was causing her to visualize something she knew, for a certainty, she did not need. Or so she told herself. Despite the logical part of her that had kept her alone for this long simply needing to get up and leave, she stayed right where she was, lifted her cup, and sipped at the hot contents. What was wrong with her...?

We're addicted to the song lyrics that spill our hearts for us.

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